한국외대 영어논술 Essay. 타인은 지옥이다?

[토플만점받아자]

For the past a few decades, it has been generally argued on whether or not the existence of other people gives us negative influences. Some people might think that the existence of others is giving negative influences to us because of us controlling and restricting ourselves in certain limitation in order to present positive images to others; nevertheless, other people might have a different opinion about this, for they consider other people as good competitors that gives us the will to develop skills that makes them more competitive. However, I am convinced that the existence of others gives numerous benefits with only negligible amount of losses. Actually, I have several reasons to support my idea which I will develop and explain as specifically as I can in the next following paragraphs:

To begin with, we control ourselves in a safety circumstance in order to give good impressions to other people. If those people who tend to justify us as we look disappear, we won’t have the desire or motivation to carry out that drives us to our daily lives such as; waking up early and cleaning up, choosing clothes in order to go outside or even studying hard to become a unique person in the society. When we come to a problem, especially between one another, we might get frustrated or even mad at each other. Yet, we endure that anger because we know that starting a fight with another person is not always the wisest way. Indeed, we find a way to persuade the other person and make a deal. All of this process cannot be done without self-control that we incline to do for achieving good impression. Additionally, power that moves the fashion markets is the result of humans’ tentativeness to show others that they are good people. Some people might disagree with my idea thinking other people’s judgments are not the most important factor that makes us who we are. Though, it is not a hard thing to figure out that famous TV stars limit themselves to keep their body in shape in order to survive. To give one of my personal experiences as an example of this, when I was studying in high school, I had many kinds of friends. Some of them liked sports activities while another group of them liked to play games and the other group only caring about their grades. One day, I faced a math question that I could not find ways to solve, so I asked one of my friends, who is good at math, about how the question can be solved. He taught me how to solve the question, but in a nuance as if I was so dumb that I couldn’t handle something that was very easy for him to solve. Later, I argued with him and it almost came to a fight. However, there were many people watching us and I decided to stop this argument so that bad rumors would not spread. After that day, he apologized to me and we actually became good friends. As I was talented in sports, he asked me to teach some of the sports activities and as a return, he taught me some of the subjects that I was weak at. Furthermore, to give one of the examples of successful fashion markets, Dong Dae Mun, the biggest clothes and accessories market located in the city of Seoul, South Korea, was not such a huge market 40 to 50 years ago. The origin of its prosperity is from the development of South Korea that happened in 1970s through 1990s. In that short period, Korea managed to become a wealthy country. After the desire of getting food disappeared from the citizens’ mind was replaced by the desire to buy luxury goods to show other people their social statement. All of examples had its origin from interacting with other people. Without the relationship or contact with others, such friendship or markets would not have been able to be developed.

To continue with, interactions with other people can greatly motivate us. In addition, many of famous musicians have set up their goal to become professionals in music based on their excitement that they got on stage while performing their own stage. Being in front of someone else and performing our skills are both hard achievements. However, after the achievement, the joy and thrill motivates the performers to dream of becoming a rock star. There might be a number of people who cast doubt on my opinion in terms of considering motivations to be originated from one-self, not from other people. Nevertheless, it is certainly true that the motivation from one-self does not last long. Competitions with other people are the greatest motivation because other people would not be sitting down and doing nothing when we are working our hardest to achieve our goals. In fact, there was a survey conducted by Seoul City Hall, on 1000 students attending class at universities located in city of Seoul about whether or not they consider others’ presence a good factor or bad factor that influenced them when they were young. Surprisingly, 75% of the students answered that competition with other friends or groups had made them possible to only focus on studying and consequently achieving their dream. They added that without the competition with others, they would not have been possible to get accepted by the good universities that they attend. Facing other people and finding what I am weak at, what others are strong at, what others are thinking or even what their goal is motivates us to move forward to a goal that we might not even notice. Yet, it is a great help that can make me develop enough skills to become competitive.

As a conclusion, I think that there are more positive effects than negative effects that the existence of others brings us. It gives us the will to limit ourselves and work out what we have to do in a wiser way or even motivate us to carry out our plans.

[토플4영역 전문강사 김상철]

수고했다...일대일 첨삭해보자...홧팅...

[토플4영역 전문강사 김상철]

얼추 1000자 되어보인다...이정도 길이를 연습하자...홧팅...그러면 이런 방법론으로 때론 700자 에세이로도 돌아갈 수 있기 때문데 여러모로 좋은 연습이 될것이다...또한, 너의 에세이를 달달달 외워보자...그리고 프리젠테이션해보자...그것은 면접에 도움이 될것이다...홧팅...