<P><STRONG>[마이 걸 1] My Girl</STRONG></P>
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<P> <BR> MY GIRL</P>
<P> By</P>
<P><BR> My Girl (1991)</P>
<P> Directed by<BR> Howard Zieff<BR> <BR> Writing credits<BR> Laurice Elehwany<BR> </P>
<P> Setting: MADISON, PENNSYLVANIA 1972</P>
<P> START</P>
<P> CLOSE UP OF VADA</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (to camera)<BR> I was born jaundiced. Once I sat on a toilet <BR> seat at a Truck stop and caught hemorrhoids. <BR> And i've learned to live with this chicken <BR> Bone that's been lodged in my throat for the <BR> past three years, so I knew Dad would be <BR> devastated when he learned of my latest <BR> affliction.<BR> (to Harry)<BR> Dad, I don't wanna upset you, but my left <BR> breast is developing at a significantly faster <BR> rate than my right. It can only mean one <BR> thing. Cancer. I'm dying.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (ignoring Vada)<BR> O.K. Sweetie, hand me the mayonnaise out of <BR> the fridge.</P>
<P> FRONT OF SULTENFUSS' HOUSE</P>
<P> Vada closes front door and goes down the steps to a group <BR> of boys</P>
<P> VADA<BR> All right, who's in raise your hand.</P>
<P> All the boys raise their hands except Thomas J</P>
<P> BOY<BR> Are you coming or not Thomas J?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I don't think so.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I knew he wouldn't come.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I can't, I have to go home.</P>
<P> BOY#2<BR> Yeah, to play with his DOLLS.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Leave him alone! Come on, let's go.</P>
<P> Group of boys enters house lead by Vada</P>
<P> Once inside, the group is suddenly stopped</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (to boy#2)<BR> Hey, you didn't pay me!</P>
<P> BOY#2<BR> How do I know you were gonna show us one?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> You're such a baby.</P>
<P> BOY#2<BR> All right, here.</P>
<P> Boy reaches inside his pocket, gets money out and gives it <BR> to Vada</P>
<P> VADA<BR> All right, follow me and don't say a word.</P>
<P> They walk towards two large doors, stop, and Vada turns <BR> around</P>
<P> You ready?</P>
<P> They enter the coffin display room, and move over to the <BR> coffin in the middle of the room</P>
<P> You sure you wanna see it, or is someone <BR> gonna go yellow belly?</P>
<P> BOY#3<BR> I'm not chicken!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Okay. Lean forward.</P>
<P> A tense moment as the coffin lid is flung open by Vada and <BR> the boys gasp as they look inside</P>
<P> GIRL#1<BR> It's empty!</P>
<P> BOY#2<BR> You're so weird!</P>
<P> BOY<BR> I want my money back!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I was afraid of this.</P>
<P> They begin to move into another part of the house</P>
<P> BOY#2<BR> Of what??</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Well, sometimes when we get 'em, they're not <BR> completely dead, you know, like when they cut <BR> a chickens head off and it still runs around <BR> crazy.</P>
<P> BOY#3<BR> You're full of shit.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I bet she's roaming around this house <BR> somewhere.</P>
<P> They open the door into the living room, where Grammoo is <BR> in her rocking chair</P>
<P> There she is, in the rocking chair.</P>
<P> Pause, then Grammoo begins to rock the chair gently. The <BR> boys all gasp and then all exit very quickly</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Hi Grammoo.</P>
<P> Vada seats herself upon Grammoo's lap</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (in distance, from <BR> downstairs)<BR> Vada would you bring down my cigarettes?</P>
<P> Vada gets up and begins to leave</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Seeya later.<BR> (kisses Grammoo on forehead)</P>
<P> BASEMENT, HARRY & ARTHUR WORKING ON MR. LAYTON</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Did I tell you, he was my woodshop teacher.</P>
<P> ARTHUR<BR> You took woodshop?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Yeah, I made a tie rack.</P>
<P> ARTHUR<BR> I made a tie rack.</P>
<P> Vada comes down the stairs and stops just before the corner <BR> that would allow her to see the corpse of Mr. Layton</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Ahem.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Vada, just put 'em on the stool.</P>
<P> Vada places the packet on a stool</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Daddy guess what I beat Thomas J in monopoly <BR> yesterday.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (completely ignoring Vada's <BR> comment)<BR> Ya, that rack holds six ties.</P>
<P> ARTHUR<BR> I still have mine.</P>
<P> Vada recognizes Arthur's voice</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Arthur!!</P>
<P> ARTHUR<BR> Vada!!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I beat Thomas J in monopoly yesterday.</P>
<P> ARTHUR<BR> Good for you baby.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Once you put the hotels on board walk and <BR> Park Place he puts a shoe in your way.</P>
<P> ARTHUR<BR> I like to buy off all the railroads.</P>
<P> Harry is slightly annoyed at Vada distracting them</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Vada, we're trying to work here.</P>
<P> CAMPER PULLS UP OUTSIDE SULTENFUSS HOUSE</P>
<P> BASEMENT</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Cruella deville stole all the puppies, she <BR> was gonna make a fur out of 'em!</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (to Arthur)<BR> Hand me the canula.</P>
<P> Vada begins to sing doo-wah-diddy-diddy, Arthur joins in</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (annoyed)<BR> VADA!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Dad?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I'm embalming my high school teacher, don't <BR> sing.<BR> (beat)<BR> All right Arthur, just a slide of the <BR> needle.....<BR> (fades out as Vada climbs <BR> stairs)</P>
<P> Vada climbs stairs and stops to read patient note, CAUSE OF <BR> DEATH - CANCER OF PROSTATE</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (to corpse)<BR> One nice model C-501 bronze stainless eternal <BR> journey, yeah, you look like a champion.</P>
<P> OUTSIDE SULTENFUSS' HOUSE DAY, STRANGE WOMAN GETS OUT OF <BR> CAMPER, WALKS UP TO DOOR AND RINGS BELL, VADA ANSWERS</P>
<P> STRANGER<BR> Is Mr. Harry Sultenfuss in?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Sure, come on in.</P>
<P> Vada and strange woman make their way to a desk in the <BR> foyer, and sit down</P>
<P> So, have you had the unfortunate experience <BR> of recently losing a loved one?</P>
<P> STRANGER<BR> (puzzled look)<BR> Could I see your Dad, just for a second?</P>
<P> Vada runs across to call downstairs</P>
<P> VADA<BR> DAD, SOMEBODY'S HERE!!</P>
<P> Vada runs back to the desk</P>
<P> He's downstairs working on Mr. Layton. <BR> Prostate Cancer. Once it hits your prostate, <BR> you're a goner.</P>
<P> STRANGER<BR> Oh.</P>
<P> Harry enters</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> How may I... Help you?</P>
<P> STRANGER<BR> I'm Shelly devoto. We spoke, the other day <BR> regarding the make up artist job.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Oh yes.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> It's still available I hope?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I think it's still available.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I'm a licensed cosmetologist, I worked for <BR> two years, at the "Dino Raphael" Salon, all my <BR> customers cried when I told them I was <BR> leaving.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Uhh, Miss devoto...</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I have a wonderful disposition, I put people <BR> right at ease.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Uhh, Miss devoto, these people are already at <BR> ease. This is not a Beauty Parlor, it's a <BR> Funeral Parlor.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> They're dead?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Yes they are.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Stiffs??</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (for want of a better word)<BR> Deceased.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> The add just said "Makeup Artist"</P>
<P> Doorbell rings</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Ahh, excuse me a second will you?<BR> (opens door)<BR> Hi George, this is a twelve-fifty-eight, I <BR> didn't want the burnished handles.<BR> (door closes off scene)</P>
<P> Vada looks out the window at Shelly's camper</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Is that your camper?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Yes it is.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> That's really cool.</P>
<P> Grammoo walks past in a fixed stare</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (to Grammoo)<BR> Hello.</P>
<P> Grammoo keeps walking as if she hadn't heard</P>
<P> VADA<BR> She's shy.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Oh.</P>
<P> Harry is standing at the door directing the men with the <BR> coffin</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Just put it back in the display room fellers.</P>
<P> MEN<BR> Okay Harry.</P>
<P> The men move off, Vada walks over to Harry</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Daddy, how come that coffin's so small?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> They come in all sizes honey, just like <BR> shoes.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Is it for a child?</P>
<P> Harry hesitates</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Of course not.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Then who's it for?</P>
<P> Small pause while Harry thinks of a reply</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Short people, very short people.</P>
<P> Shelly walks over to Harry</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Excuse me, what about the job?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Pardon?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I need the job.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Oh, You still want it? Even though uhh...</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Ohh, oh sure it's no big deal, you see all my <BR> former clients will eventually die, and all <BR> your clients used to be alive, so they have <BR> something in common.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> You'd be doing hair and makeup and answering <BR> the phone.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Okay Mr. Sultenfuss, you got a deal.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Great, you can start right away. Call me <BR> Harry. Now, umm, is this what you'd normally <BR> wear for work? Don't get me wrong, I like it, <BR> very much, but the....</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I promise i'll take good care of these <BR> people, they deserve it, they're dead, all <BR> they've got left is their looks.</P>
<P> Harry and Vada exchange weird looks</P>
<P> OUTSIDE SHOPPING MALL-AREA DAY</P>
<P> Vada and Thomas J are riding their bikes through town</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Hey look at this, no feet!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Oh wow, a real evil canieval‎.</P>
<P> Vada and Thomas J ride up through a garage</P>
<P> PSYCHO MECHANIC<BR> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY GARAGE, GET <BR> OUTTA HERE!!!</P>
<P> Vada and Thomas J arrive outside the entrance to the <BR> Doctors surgery, Vada enters and climbs stairs, she passes a <BR> small boy in a wheelchair in the corridor, Vada enters room</P>
<P> INSIDE DOCTOR WELTY'S WAITING ROOM</P>
<P> NURSE RANDALL<BR> Hi Vada, what's wrong today?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I'm very sick.</P>
<P> NURSE RANDALL<BR> Okay, take a seat, i'll check if the doctor <BR> can see you.</P>
<P> She picks up phone and whispers something inaudible to the <BR> doctor</P>
<P> NURSE RANDALL<BR> Okay, he'll see you, why don't you go in?</P>
<P> Vada opens door to doctors surgery and enters</P>
<P> OVER DR WELTY'S SHOULDER, CLOSE UP OF VADA HAVING HER EAR <BR> EXAMINED</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Well, what is it? I can handle it.</P>
<P> DR WELTY<BR> You are perfectly healthy.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> That can't be, I have all the classic <BR> symptoms.</P>
<P> DR WELTY<BR> Sweetheart, did they bring Mr. Layton to your <BR> house today?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Yes.</P>
<P> DR WELTY<BR> Vada you've gotta stop this, there's <BR> absolutely nothing wrong with you!</P>
<P> Vada gets up in a mood, puts hat on, and walks to the door, <BR> stopping and says with condescending intonation...</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I'll just have to get a second opinion.</P>
<P> OUTSIDE DOCTORS SURGERY DAY</P>
<P> Vada emerges from the building and gets on her bike</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> So, what'd he say was wrong with you?</P>
<P> Vada is turning and beginning to ride away</P>
<P> VADA<BR> The whole medical profession is a crack.</P>
<P> Thomas J is trying to catch up</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Hey wait up for me!</P>
<P> BIKE RIDE DOWN MAIN STREET IN TOWN</P>
<P> VADA & THOMAS J ARE SINGING</P>
<P> Vada slows down, stops and looks at a person on a ladder <BR> painting a house</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Hey look!</P>
<P> Thomas J stops also</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> At what?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> That's Mr. Bixler, let's go talk to him.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I don't wanna talk to a teacher, it's summer!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Hi Mr. Bixler!</P>
<P> Mr. Bixler turns around and sees Vada and Thomas J</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Mademoiselle Sultenfuss and the amazing Dr. <BR> J! How's the summer treating you?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> It's okay. Mr. Bixler, I finished all the <BR> books for summer reading.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Really? Already? The summer's just begun.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Yes, and now I'm reading War & Peace for fun.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> No wonder you're my prize pupil. What about <BR> you Thomas J?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I haven't started yet.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Better get on his case Vada.</P>
<P> Mr. Bixler gets down off his ladder</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Mr. Bixler, how come you're painting this old <BR> house?</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Well I just bought it, now I'm fixing it up.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> This is one big house for one single person.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Well, you never can tell...<BR> (Vada gets worried look on <BR> her face)<BR> I might get a pet.<BR> (Vada's expression‎ relaxes, <BR> she smiles)</P>
<P> VADA<BR> How are you gonna get the money for this old <BR> house if you're not working?</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Well I'm gonna teach creative writing this <BR> summer, so, I'm doing some work.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> How much does it cost?</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Thirty five dollars.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> What do you get for that?</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Me, two hours a week, talking about poetry. <BR> This an interrogation Vada?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> No. Well, guess i'll go home and finish off <BR> War & Peace.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> It's summer! You're kids! Go play!</P>
<P> Vada and Thomas J ride off down street</P>
<P> SIDE ON SHOT OF VADA AND THOMAS J RIDING DOWN STREET, <BR> CAMERA IS MOVING WITH THEM</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Wanna go to Gray's orchard and pick some <BR> peaches?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> No, I'm going home.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Why? It's not dinner time yet.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Dinner time?? You're like a dog! You just go <BR> home to eat.</P>
<P> Vada accelerates leaving Thomas J in her tracks</P>
<P> Don't pee on the hydrant!!</P>
<P> VADA'S BEDROOM</P>
<P> Vada puts a record on to play.<BR> (song is "Wedding Bell <BR> Blues")<BR> She then opens a drawer and picks up a class photograph, <BR> with Mr. Bixler enhaloed in a heart shape. Music begins to <BR> play and Vada sings along the first few bars whilst looking <BR> at the photo longingly</P>
<P> SULTENFUSS' DINING ROOM TABLE NIGHT, VADA IS LYING ON THE <BR> FLOOR SPRAWLED OUT, HARRY AND PHIL ARE HAVING A <BR> CONVERSATION, AND GRAMMOO IS SITTING STARING INTO SPACE, <BR> SHELLY ENTERS</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Excuse me Harry, I finished Mr. Layton's <BR> hair. He kinda looked......<BR> (she sees Vada lying down <BR> sprawled out on the floor)<BR> Harry, what's wrong with her??</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Oh, she's just pretending. Vada, get up here <BR> and eat your broccoli!</P>
<P> Shelly moves over and crouches down next to Vada</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (very sick sounding voice)<BR> I think it's my prostate.</P>
<P> All of a sudden, Grammoo begins to sing</P>
<P> GRAMMOO<BR> I got rhythm, I got music, I got my man who <BR> could ask for anything more? I got daisies, in <BR> green pastures, I got my man, who could ask <BR> for anything more?</P>
<P> As this is being sung, Shelly slowly looks up with a VERY <BR> weird expression‎, this is too much for her</P>
<P> OUTSIDE FRONT OF HOUSE, VADA AND THOMAS J SITTING ON STEPS <BR> DAY</P>
<P> Shelly exits house and closes door behind her, and then <BR> crouches down beside Vada and Thomas J</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Who's winning?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I am.</P>
<P> As Vada and Thomas J continue to play, three Vada-aged <BR> girls come up to the end of the Sultenfuss' driveway</P>
<P> GIRL#1<BR> Look, there's Vada and her little BOYFRIEND<BR> (very mocking voice)</P>
<P> VADA<BR> He is not my boyfriend!</P>
<P> GIRL#2<BR> I bet she kissed him on the lips!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Do you think I kissed that ugly old thing?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Yeah anyway.</P>
<P> GIRL#2<BR> Come on let's go.</P>
<P> GIRL#1 & GIRL#2<BR> Judy's father owns the movie theater and we <BR> get to see all the movies WE want for free.</P>
<P> JUDY<BR> Maybe you can come some time.</P>
<P> GUY#2<BR> Eeeuww, don't invite HER, she'll have to <BR> bring her boyfriend.</P>
<P> The two girls begin to walk off, Judy follows slowly <BR> looking guilty and embarrassed by her friends</P>
<P> GIRL#2<BR> (together)<BR> Vada and Thomas, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-<BR> I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, <BR> then comes Thomas J in a baby carriage.</P>
<P> Judy wanders off screen, looking sorry for Vada</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> You know Vada, you shouldn't let those girls <BR> upset you.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I'm not upset. I will never play with those <BR> girls. I only surround myself with people who <BR> I find intellectually stimulating.</P>
<P> Thomas J looks at Shelly and smiles, he is proud to be the <BR> friend of such an intelligent girl</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (to Vada)<BR> Want a piece of chocolate?</P>
<P> Vada shakes her head</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Thomas J?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I'm allergic to it.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> To chocolate?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> He's allergic to everything.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Chocolate?</P>
<P> VADA & THOMAS J<BR> TO EVERYTHING.</P>
<P> Shelly notices a ring that Vada is wearing on her right <BR> index finger</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Ooh, that's a pretty ring you're wearing.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> It's a mood ring, it tells what mood I'm in.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> It doesn't work, it always stays black.<BR> (NOTE ring is BLACK)</P>
<P> VADA<BR> It's only black when you're around 'cause you <BR> put me in a bad mood.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Maybe black means you're happy?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I don't think so.<BR> (pause)<BR> Shelly, how can I get thirty five dollars?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> She's crazy, she wants to go to school over <BR> the summer.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> It's not a real school, it's a writing class, <BR> I wanna be a writer.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> She only wants to do it because her sweetie <BR> pie's the teacher.</P>
<P> Vada is annoyed that Shelly now knows her little secret and <BR> pushes Thomas J</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Shut your big fat mouth!</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I think you'd make a fine writer, did you ask <BR> your Dad?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> He won't give it to me.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Well you don't know that. Ask him.</P>
<P> SULTENFUSS' LIVING ROOM, GRAMMOO AND HARRY WATCHING TV, <BR> VADA ENTERS</P>
<P> Vada passes Grammoo and Harry who are watching a TV show, <BR> she then seats herself next to Harry</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Daddy, can I have thirty five dollars?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> That's a lot of money for a little girl.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> It's for school, for summer writing class.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (engrossed with TV show)<BR> Any more soda left?</P>
<P> Vada pours Harry another soda</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Shelly thinks I'd be a good writer.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Last month you wanted to play the violin. <BR> Then you wanted to be a ventriloquist.</P>
<P> Harry keeps his gaze fixed the entire time upon the TV <BR> screen</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Dad?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (referring to TV)<BR> I love this guy!<BR> (he laughs)</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Dad??</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> What?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> The money?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Ahh, maybe next summer.</P>
<P> VADA'S THOUGHTS<BR> He forgot about the time I wanted to be a <BR> magician, I was really great at making myself <BR> disappear.</P>
<P> FOYER OF SULTENFUSS' HOUSE, VADA BOUNCING BASKET-BALL, <BR> ARTHUR ENTERS</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Wanna play?</P>
<P> ARTHUR<BR> No, I gotta go to the cemetery, keep your <BR> head up. Don't look at the ball, look at me.</P>
<P> Arthur grabs ball and begins to dribble it properly as a <BR> demonstration</P>
<P> See. You were looking at the ball. All right? <BR> Keep your head up. Gimme some skin,</P>
<P> They both give each other five i.e. Slap each others hands, <BR> Arthur exits. Vada continues bouncing the ball, which <BR> accidentally veers off and goes down the stairs into the <BR> basement</P>
<P> SCARY MUSIC</P>
<P> Vada goes very slowly down the stairs, and peeks round the <BR> corner, she is clearly very scared of the basement and the <BR> corpses contained in it, she then rushes down and grabs the <BR> ball. As she turns around, Shelly, who is upstairs walking <BR> through the house and sees the door ajar, slams it shut <BR> unaware that Vada is down there. Vada runs up the stairs and <BR> tries to open the door, she can't, drops the ball and starts <BR> to yell out for help and bang on the it. Shelly hears the <BR> noise and comes to the door. Vada, overcome with fear, sits <BR> on a step, covers her ears and begins to sing doo-wah-diddy-<BR> diddy. Shelly yanks the door open and sees Vada crouched on <BR> the step</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Vada? VADA?? What happened??</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (extremely frightened and <BR> timid)<BR> My ball, I lost my ball.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (picking Vada up onto her <BR> feet)<BR> Come on sweetie.</P>
<P> The two exit the scene</P>
<P> SHELLY PUTTING MAKEUP ON DEAD LADY, BASEMENT OF SULTENFUSS' <BR> HOUSE</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Excuse me Harry?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Uh huh?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Could you take a look at Mrs. Porter?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Yeah.</P>
<P> Harry gets up from his desk, moves over to Mrs. Porter and <BR> observes Shelly's work, he looks unimpressed</P>
<P> Didn't I give you a picture of what she <BR> looked like?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Yeah,<BR> (searches pockets, eventually <BR> pulling out a photo)</P>
<P> Harry compares photo with Mrs. Porter's face</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> You don't like it?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> This was the Reverend Porter's wife, you have <BR> her looking like a two dollar hooker.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (a little offended)<BR> I think she looks nice! Her lips are very <BR> thin so I used the gloss to give them a more <BR> sensual quality, and her eyes just needed a <BR> little definition, and her hair, I'm sorry, <BR> nobody wears this hairdo anymore in 1972.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> She did. This photo was taken a month ago at <BR> the church food drive.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I just wanted to get past this "old school <BR> Marm" image.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> That wasn't an image. She WAS an old school <BR> Marm.<BR> (beat)<BR> Fix it.</P>
<P> Harry begins to leave</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Harry?<BR> (Harry stops and turns <BR> around)<BR> I was just wondering, if there is anything <BR> wrong with Vada.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> What do you mean??</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Well the other night at dinner...</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Oh that, she just likes to play.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I don't think so, I think she's confused <BR> about death.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> She was raised in a funeral home, she knows a <BR> thing or two about it.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Harry, I really think she.....</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (annoyed)<BR> She's a perfectly happy eleven year old girl, <BR> look, don't give me any advice about my <BR> daughter, okay?</P>
<P> OUTSIDE FRONT OF HOUSE, VADA AND THOMAS J ARE TURNING A <BR> SKIPPING ROPE AND PHIL IS JUMPING IN IT PUFFING AWAY, VADA & <BR> THOMAS J ARE SAYING A RHYME THAT GOES WITH SKIPPING GAMES, <BR> SHELLY PULLS UP IN HER CAMPER</P>
<P> VADA<BR> There's Shelly!</P>
<P> Vada and Thomas J stop turning the rope leaving Phil <BR> standing there exhausted, and run over to Shelly's camper, <BR> Shelly gets out</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Hi.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Can we look around in your camper?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Sure. I'll give you the royal tour.</P>
<P> Vada and Thomas J rush inside the camper</P>
<P> (surprised at Vada and Thomas <BR> J's eagerness to get inside)<BR> Woah! Gosh!</P>
<P> Thomas J seats himself at the drivers seat and makes "vroom <BR> vroom" noises, Vada sits at the table, selects a book from a <BR> small bookshelf on the side, and begins to read it</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Wow, this is the coolest thing, like you <BR> really eat and sleep here?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Uh huh.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I'm gonna drive us to Liverpool.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Liverpool?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Big Ringo fan.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Ohh, right. Would you like a soda?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I would.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Thomas?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Yes please.</P>
<P> Thomas uproots himself and sits opposite Vada at the table</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> What are you reading?</P>
<P> Vada makes a gesture at Thomas J with her finger up to her <BR> lips implying that he should be quiet</P>
<P> Shelly notices Vada reading the book</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Oh! You shouldn't be looking at that, it's a <BR> little too old for you.</P>
<P> She takes the book away from her</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Did you read ALL these books?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Uh huh.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> What are they about?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Mostly love, and romance.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Eeeeuuuww, gross.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> They're just fun to read.</P>
<P> Shelly hands the soda around</P>
<P> Here, cheers.</P>
<P> Everybody takes a mouthful of drink</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Are you married?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> No, I'm divorced.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Daddy said it's bad when people get divorced.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Well, sometimes married people just find out <BR> they can't live with each other.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Mine aren't divorced.</P>
<P> Thomas J gets up and reaches for the cookie jar</P>
<P> Shelly, can I have a cookie?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> With bottle of soda in mouth<BR> Hmmmph gurgle gurgle...</P>
<P> Thomas pulls out a few bank notes of largish denomination</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Hey, where are all the cookies??</P>
<P> Vada sees the money and the expression‎ on her face shows <BR> she has an idea</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Well, I guess you found my secret hiding <BR> place.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> What are you saving for?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Nothing in particular, just putting it away <BR> for a rainy day.</P>
<P> Cuckoo clock goes "Cuckoo." Lunch time, 12 o'clock</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I'm supposed to be home at noon for lunch, <BR> thanks Shelly.</P>
<P> Thomas J leaves</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Bye. Well Miss Vada, what d'you say we head <BR> back?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Can I use your bathroom first?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Sure.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> You don't have to wait, daddy'll be mad if <BR> you're late.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Okay.</P>
<P> Shelly exits and Vada enters toilet with a VERY guilty look <BR> on her face</P>
<P> SUMMER WRITING CLASS, FOCUS ON MR. BIXLER</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> The great way, is not difficult for those <BR> with no preferences, with the absence of both <BR> love and hate, everything becomes clear and <BR> undisguised. That was written by a Chinese <BR> Philosopher in the year 600. Now why would I <BR> choose to bring that up in a creative writing <BR> class? Because, the absence of judgment helps <BR> us to appreciate reality. In other words, I <BR> want you to listen to your classmates writing, <BR> with a clear and open heart, okay? So who's <BR> gonna go first?</P>
<P> GUY<BR> I got one.</P>
<P> He gets up</P>
<P> I sang a song for you to hear, I painted a <BR> picture for you to see, I picked a rose for <BR> you to smell, I planted grass for you to <BR> touch, But you did not hear my song, You did <BR> not see my picture, You did not smell my rose <BR> and YOU did not touch my grass.</P>
<P> Woman<BR> Maybe she was outta town?</P>
<P> GUY#2<BR> That's not funny, his poem is about futility, <BR> we toil in unrewarded obscurity.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Now, I hear judgment, let's not forget the <BR> part about the open heart...</P>
<P> The door at the back of the room opens and Vada enters <BR> holding a writing pad and pen looking nervous</P>
<P> Vada, is there, something I can do for you?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (very nervous)<BR> I paid the money.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> For this class?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Uh huh, I wanna be a writer.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Vada, this is an adult writing class.</P>
<P> JUSTIN<BR> Hey, I think it's real beautiful. She want's <BR> to be a writer.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Vada, you sure you wanna do this?</P>
<P> Vada nods her head</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Welcome to the class, go find a seat.</P>
<P> The class applauds</P>
<P> Okay ahh, who's next?</P>
<P> RONDA<BR> I experienced something with my boyfriend the <BR> other day, and I wrote a few words down.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> The floor's yours Ronda.</P>
<P> RONDA<BR> He covers me like a blanket, from the cold, <BR> dark night, As I look into his eyes, I know <BR> it's right, To touch, To feel, I know he's <BR> real, Flesh all a mush, Flesh ALL a mush, I <BR> can't fight it, There's no point, I wake up in <BR> Lighter joint.</P>
<P> Several looks glance around the room. Vada raises her hand</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Uhhh, va, uhh, Vada.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I wrote a poem too.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Please.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Loads of ice-cream by Vada Sultenfuss<BR> I like ice-cream a whole lot, It tastes good <BR> when days are hot, On a cone or in a dish, <BR> This would be my only wish, Vanilla, chocolate <BR> or rocky road, Even with pie a la mode.</P>
<P> That's all I got so far.</P>
<P> JUSTIN<BR> I hear that Vada, Flesh all a Mush or Rocky <BR> Road, it's about desire.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Vada that's... It's very sweet, and it rhymes <BR> and that's also good but, you're not <BR> expressing to me what's in your soul. I want <BR> you to show me how you see the world, your <BR> fears, your desires, your innermost secrets.</P>
<P> VADA'S THOUGHTS<BR> My fears and secrets. I'm afraid I killed my <BR> mother.</P>
<P> OUTSIDE SULTENFUSS' HOUSE, THEN INSIDE ON SHELLY AT DESK, <BR> TUBA IS BEING PLAYED IN THE BACKGROUND</P>
<P> Shelly gets up smiling when she hears the music and <BR> proceeds to the living room</P>
<P> Shelly pokes her head in the door to see Harry playing a <BR> tune to Grammoo on his tuba</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (sung, to Grammoo)<BR> Can not do without, Harry's wild about me.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Excuse me Harry, I'm sorry, I just wanna let <BR> you know that the flowers were delivered. And <BR> the room's all set up.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Thanks, listen I wanna apologize for the <BR> other day downstairs, about Vada, I was a <BR> little harsh.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I shouldn't stick my nose in other people's <BR> business. It's just that I like Vada, very <BR> much.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> After my wife died, Grammoo moved in here to <BR> help take care of Vada. They were very close, <BR> but lately as her mind's been wandering more <BR> and more, Vada's been acting kinda crazy. I'm <BR> sure she'll snap out of it though.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I'm sure she will.</P>
<P> VADA AND THOMAS J AT THEIR FAVORITE SPOT, EDGE OF LAKE WITH <BR> VERY LARGE BEAUTIFUL WEEPING WILLOW JUST UP THE BANK A <BR> LITTLE FROM A SMALL PIER WHERE TWO FISHING POLES ARE SET UP, <BR> ONE HELD BY VADA AND THE OTHER BY A HOLDER AS THOMAS J HANGS <BR> UPSIDE DOWN FROM THE TREE</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Nothing's biting today.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Maybe they had a big breakfast.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> (hanging from tree)<BR> I'm gonna be an acrobat when I grow up.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Big deal, I can do that too.<BR> (Thomas J's reel begins to <BR> click)<BR> Thomas J, you got something!</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Oh no!<BR> (he jumps down from the tree)<BR> UUH.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Hurry!</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I'm trying.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Reel it in.<BR> (Thomas J reels the fish in)<BR> He's only tiny, throw him back.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I don't like touching fish, how do you pull <BR> the hook out without touching it?</P>
<P> Thomas J puts his foot on the fish and pulls</P>
<P> VADA<BR> You're hurting him, don't kill him!!</P>
<P> The hook is out of the fish's mouth and sitting on the pier</P>
<P> Vada then removes the hook from the fish's mouth minor <BR> error in film and in the process pricks herself</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Ouch! Darn hook!</P>
<P> Vada puts the fish back</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I'm bleeding, did he get away? Go look.</P>
<P> Thomas J looks and sees the fish, dead, floating on top of <BR> the water</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Yeah he got away. Come on let's go.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Hey, we can become blood brothers.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Naah, I don't wanna.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> You could pick that scab on your arm.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> It's a mosquito bite.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> It'll bleed.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> If I do it, can we go?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Uh huh.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Okay, OW!</P>
<P> Thomas J picks the scab on his arm which begins to bleed</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Okay, rub them together.</P>
<P> They rub their cuts together</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Now we're blood brothers for life.</P>
<P> HARRY IS TYPING UP A DEATH NOTICE IN HIS STUDY, SHELLY <BR> ENTERS</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Hi.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Oh Hi, what can I do for you?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Nothing, I was just wondering what you were <BR> doing.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Oh, I'm just typing up a funeral notice, you <BR> know when someone dies people want it in the <BR> paper usually, it's a service we provide for <BR> the family.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Oh right, right,<BR> (she picks up the newspaper). <BR> Bader Lorenzo Died June 22 <BR> 1972 Devoted husband to <BR> Nicolette. Cherished father of <BR> Babritzio and Heidi, In lieu <BR> of flowers, please send <BR> donations to the holy names <BR> society.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I wrote that.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> No kidding?</P>
<P> Harry gives Shelly a matter-of-fact look</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Oh it's good, "In lieu of" I love that word <BR> lieu.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I prefer it to "instead", it has more <BR> dignity.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> In lieu... "instead".... No contest.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> It's no big deal.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> You have to learn how to take a complement.<BR> (Shelly turns the newspaper <BR> over)<BR> Movies, movies, ahhhh, "Love Story" at the <BR> drive in, I cried my eyes out, did you see it?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I haven't been to the movies in AGES.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I love going to movies, especially at the <BR> drive in. I don't think there's anything more <BR> romantic than going to the drive in.<BR> (subtle HINT)<BR> I'll let you get back to work.</P>
<P> Shelly begins to exit with a look of failure on her face</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I do enjoy playing bingo, if you'd like to <BR> join me for a game tomorrow night at church <BR> you're welcome to.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (considers for a moment)<BR> Okay.</P>
<P> Harry resumes typing</P>
<P> VADA IS RUNNING THROUGH FOYER AND BEGINS TO PASS BATHROOM <BR> WHERE SHELLY IS PUTTING ON MAKEUP</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Hi Vada.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Are you going out somewhere?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> No.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> So how come you're putting lipstick on?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> A girl's always gotta look her best.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I think lipstick looks fake, no-ones lips are <BR> that color.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Have you ever tried any?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> No.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Come here, sit down.</P>
<P> Vada enters bathroom and sits down on the closed toilet <BR> seat, Shelly brings up a stool and sits down in front of <BR> Vada. Vada gets some lipstick put on her</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Now, first we blot.</P>
<P> Vada blots her lips on some tissue</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Take a look. I think it looks real nice on <BR> you.</P>
<P> Vada looks in Shelly's mirror</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Shelly, do you think I'm pretty?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Yes, Vada I think you're very pretty. You've <BR> got these great big sparkling eyes, the cutest <BR> little nose, an amazing mouth.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> The boys at school don't think I am.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> They'll come around. Close your eyes, I wanna <BR> bring out the gorgeous color in them. The <BR> first rule in applying eye makeup, is you can <BR> never wear enough blue eye shadow.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Do you like putting makeup on people?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Uh huh, i've been trying to get out to <BR> Hollywood for years to do makeup for all the <BR> stars, I haven't gotten there yet.<BR> (she finishes her work)<BR> All right, open your eyes.</P>
<P> Vada opens her eyes and looks in the mirror</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Shelly, I would definitely hold off on that <BR> Hollywood thing.</P>
<P> VADA EXITS HOUSE THROUGH FRONT DOOR, RAUNCHY MUSIC IS <BR> PLAYING AND SHE DOES A GROOVY WALK TO THE STEPS WHERE THOMAS <BR> J AWAITS HER, SHE LIES DOWN LENGTH WAYS ACROSS THE STEP AND <BR> LOOKS AT HIM</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Your lip bleeding?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> No.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> What's wrong with your eyes?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> A girl can never wear enough eye shadow.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Where's your bike?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Oh, in the garage. Walk me over.</P>
<P> The two enter the garage, where a large black hearse is <BR> parked</P>
<P> VADA<BR> It's only a garage, come on.</P>
<P> Vada notices that one of her streamers on her bike is gone</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Hey, one of my streamers is gone! It probably <BR> fell off in here.</P>
<P> Thomas J walks over to a model of a head</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Hey look at this!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> That was Grammoo's. It's a phrenology chart, <BR> they used to study the bumps in your head to <BR> see if you had a good personality or not. Come <BR> here, i'll diagnose your head.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> No, I don't wanna.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Come on, it's fun.</P>
<P> Vada examines Thomas J's head and then compares it with the <BR> chart</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Hmmmm, interesting.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> What?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> You have no personality.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Hey, where does it say that?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Never mind.</P>
<P> Thomas J knocks the lid off a small box and reveals a photo</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Is that your Dad?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Yes.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Who's that with your Dad?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> It's my mother.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Do you remember her?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> No. Grammoo said she's in heaven.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> What do you think it's like?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> What?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Heaven.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I think, everybody gets their own white <BR> horse, and all they do is ride and eat <BR> marshmallows all day, and everybody's best <BR> friends with everybody else, when you play <BR> sports, there's no teams, so nobody gets <BR> picked last.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> But, what if you're afraid to ride horses?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> It doesn't matter, 'cause they're not regular <BR> horses, they got wings, and it's no big deal <BR> if you fall, you just land in cloud.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> That doesn't sound so bad, come on, we'll <BR> never find that streamer.</P>
<P> As they leave, Vada turns back and grabs the photo, then <BR> returns to Thomas J</P>
<P> HARRY'S BEDROOM, HARRY IS DRESSING AND GETTING READY FOR <BR> HIS DATE WITH SHELLY</P>
<P> The tune "Moonglow" is playing on the radio</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> Well well well, what's going on in here?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Nothing, I'm dressing.</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> Oh, you're dressing, uh huh, Harry Harry <BR> Harry Harry, don't you know it's not nice to <BR> lie to your big brother?</P>
<P> Phil then proceeds to give Harry a noogie</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> HEY! WATCH THE HAIR!! THIS SHIRT GIVES!!! ALL <BR> RIGHT!!!!</P>
<P> Phil stops</P>
<P> I'm going out with Shelly.</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> Oh yes, oh that's great.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I'm very nervous.</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> Why?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> The last date I had was twenty years ago.</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> That's true. Harry Harry sit down, let me <BR> fill you in on today's women, since the last <BR> time you dated, something happened, "The <BR> Sexual Revolution", now before that, you used <BR> to have to hold a door open for a woman, pull <BR> her chair out, pick up the check, no more no <BR> more, you wanna know what else is missing? <BR> BRAS!</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Oh come on.</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> Harry, I'm serious, trust me Harry this <BR> woman's lifting us in, you gotta treat her <BR> like every Tom Dick and Harry.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Are you sure about all this?</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> Did you not tell Vada I'm a womanizer huh?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Oh, I'm running late. Shelly'll be here any <BR> minute.</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> Oh she's picking you up, good you're on the <BR> right track.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> No, she's just driving over here, then we're <BR> taking my car. How do I look?</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> Like a Sultenfuss. Go get 'em.</P>
<P> Harry runs down the stairs and passes Vada on the way</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Goodnight Vada.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Dad, why are you dressed up to go to bingo?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Ahh, I just wanna look nice.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> You never cared before.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Well Shelly's coming over, we're gonna go <BR> together.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Why?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> She likes to play bingo.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Can I go too?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Naah, I think you'd better stay here and keep <BR> Grammoo company.</P>
<P> Harry leaves and then Vada makes a decision, she goes out <BR> the door</P>
<P> OUTSIDE THE SENNET'S HOUSE, VADA IS CREEPING ALONG NIGHT</P>
<P> Vada approaches the Sennet's house and signals through the <BR> window for Thomas J to come outside, which he does</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Vada? Vada?? Where are you??</P>
<P> Vada springs up from her hiding place</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Here.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Don't DO that!!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Sorry.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> What do you want? My mom will skin me alive <BR> if she finds I'm out here.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Let's go to the church, they're playing bingo <BR> tonight.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I told you i'll get in trouble.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Pacifist!</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I am not.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Bed wetter!</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I stopped that!</P>
<P> AT THE CHURCH, FOCUS ON THE BINGO ANNOUNCER WHO IS CALLING <BR> OUT THE NUMBERS</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Don't worry, there's a strategy to bingo. For <BR> instance, on a given night anybody can win, <BR> but I play the odds, when choosing bingo <BR> cards, I use a range of theories from the laws <BR> of probability to avoiding duplicate number <BR> systems. This way you get much more activity.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (hopeful)<BR> Does it make it easier to win?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> No. Just, more activity.</P>
<P> Harry then pulls a seat out and sits down in it, cutting <BR> Shelly off, who has to pull her own seat out and sit down</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (as he sits down, to the <BR> person next to him)<BR> Hi Carl.</P>
<P> OUTSIDE THE CHURCH NIGHT</P>
<P> Vada and Thomas J are walking up to the church</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> They're not gonna let us in Vada, we're kids.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> We're not gonna bet, we're just gonna watch.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Watch bingo? I don't even like to play bingo.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Duck!</P>
<P> Vada and Thomas J are ducking behind a counter on one side <BR> of the church, Harry and Shelly are quite clearly visible on <BR> the other side of the room</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (in the distance, as a number <BR> is announced)<BR> Oh great!</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Hey there's your Dad and Shelly.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Ssshhhhh, I don't want them to see me.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (in the distance again, as <BR> another number is announced)<BR> Aarrggh.</P>
<P> CLOSE UP OF HARRY AND SHELLY</P>
<P> As Shelly looks around the bingo table, she notices that <BR> everyone around her is chronologically advantaged in a big <BR> way</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I just had a terrible thought Harry.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> What's that?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I'm gonna be putting makeup on some of these <BR> people very soon.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Why d'you think these seats were empty.</P>
<P> OUTSIDE</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Can we go yet?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Go???</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> You know I'm not allowed outside my myself <BR> after dark.</P>
<P> CLOSE UP AGAIN</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Oh, I'm just not lucky Harry.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Look, it's not always luck, I mean, depending <BR> upon the placement of the numbers, a guy with <BR> 10 cards could win just as easily as a guy <BR> with 100.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Kinda like men.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Oh, how do you mean?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> You can be in a room with 100 men, and not <BR> like any of them, or you can be in a room with <BR> just one man, and he's exactly the one you <BR> want.</P>
<P> Harry and Shelly are about to kiss each other, Vada sees <BR> this and doesn't look too happy about it</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (in semi-deep fake voice)<BR> BINGO!</P>
<P> BINGO ANNOUNCER<BR> We have a winner. Will the winner please <BR> raise their hand?</P>
<P> CARL<BR> There was no bingo, it came from outside.</P>
<P> VERNON<BR> How could someone outside get a bingo?</P>
<P> CARL<BR> Someone outside didn't get a bingo, someone <BR> outside yelled bingo you moron!</P>
<P> VERNON<BR> Who are you calling a mowon?<BR> (false teeth)</P>
<P> VERNON'S WIFE<BR> Put a lid on it Vernon!</P>
<P> CARL<BR> Put a lid on it?? If you weren't 200 years <BR> old, I'd kick your wrinkled ARSE!!</P>
<P> The two old men then have a fight, Harry attempts to break <BR> it up</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Hey fellers fellers, it's just a bingo game.</P>
<P> Meanwhile, Shelly has found it all rather amusing</P>
<P> OUTSIDE</P>
<P> VADA<BR> We can go now.</P>
<P> Vada and Thomas J run off down the street</P>
<P> VADA'S BEDROOM NIGHT, VADA IS LYING ON HER BED THINKING</P>
<P> As she hears Harry's car approaching, she goes to her <BR> window and looks out it through the venetian blinds</P>
<P> OUTSIDE STOPPED CAR</P>
<P> Harry gets out of his side, comes round to the other side <BR> and then hesitates before deciding to follow his brothers <BR> advice and let Shelly get out herself, which she does, <BR> eventually</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I had a good time tonight.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I haven't had a bingo partner in ages.</P>
<P> They walk up to Shelly's camper</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Would you like to come in and see my house? <BR> Just for a minute.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Okay, sure.</P>
<P> They enter, Vada continues to watch them from her room</P>
<P> INSIDE CAMPER, HARRY AND SHELLY ENTER</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Home sweet home.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> It's nice.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I did it myself. I read a magazine article <BR> about how to maximize small spaces.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Well it certainly looks bigger that it seems.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> You can look in the bathroom if you want. <BR> People are always curious about that, like <BR> what happens when you flush.</P>
<P> Harry moved toward the back of the camper and looks in the <BR> bathroom, and then flushes the toilet</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Yeah.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Are you mad at me?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> No, why?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I don't know, tonight you just seemed a <BR> little cool, not opening car doors and...</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Oh, that was Phil, trying to give me advice <BR> on dating 70's women. Look I'm so out of <BR> touch, I haven't dated women in ages, not <BR> since my wife died.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> What happened to her?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Ahh, complications during child birth, she <BR> died two days after Vada was born.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Did she ever see Vada?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I brought the baby into the room a couple of <BR> times, she opened her eyes, yeah, yeah I think <BR> she saw Vada. It was.....</P>
<P> Harry looks at the item that he picked up and was fiddling <BR> with to calm his nerves</P>
<P> Did I ruin this?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Dance with me?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Here?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> This is where we are.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Is there enough room?</P>
<P> Shelly moves an object from the floor, which creates more <BR> room</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I haven't danced in.....</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> In ages, I know, me neither.</P>
<P> They begin a slow dance</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Rock?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> See, you're not that out of touch.<BR> (they dance)<BR> You're good.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> At Widdman High I was considered a pretty hot <BR> date, I did a killer frugue.</P>
<P> Shelly smells Harry's neck</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> What are you wearing?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Old Spice, Phil says it's a timeless classic.</P>
<P> They continue to dance</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Do you want to?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Want to what?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Kiss me.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Yes.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Good.</P>
<P> They then have a long kiss</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Good at kissing, and dancing, I'm very <BR> optimistic.</P>
<P> They then kiss again, this time interrupted by the clock <BR> cuckooing</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I ahh, better go.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> It's only eight o'clock.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Goodnight Shelly.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Goodnight.</P>
<P> Harry exits the camper followed by Shelly who stands at the <BR> door</P>
<P> OUTSIDE CAMPER NIGHT, HARRY HAS JUST GOT OUT OF SHELLY'S <BR> CAMPER</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Well, I guess it's official we had a date, <BR> maybe we can play bingo again sometime.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I'm tired of bingo, maybe we should try that <BR> drive in of yours.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Goodnight.</P>
<P> Harry waves</P>
<P> VADA'S ROOM</P>
<P> Vada finishes watching, and goes to bed</P>
<P> SUMMER WRITING CLASS DAY</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Before the class started, Ronda and Justin <BR> wanted to lead the class in a group <BR> meditation.</P>
<P> WOMAN<BR> Ooooh that's really cool.</P>
<P> JUSTIN<BR> Okay what we're gonna do is, send our vibes <BR> out into the group.</P>
<P> Justin turns on some kind of tape deck which begins to play <BR> weird music</P>
<P> RONDA<BR> Everybody hold hands, and close your eyes. <BR> Relax your muscles and take deep breaths.</P>
<P> JUSTIN<BR> Now, try to feel what the other person is <BR> feeling, without speaking any words, send out <BR> your vibe, and receive the vibes around you at <BR> the same time. Can you feel it?</P>
<P> RONDA<BR> Okay, open your eyes. What did everybody <BR> feel?</P>
<P> GUY<BR> I felt Mrs. Hunsaker's strength.</P>
<P> OTHER GUY<BR> I can feel that Ronda is one with the Earth, <BR> she's so cosmically in tune.</P>
<P> RONDA<BR> So right on, that's exactly what I sent out, <BR> and I felt like, you were full of inner peace <BR> and harmony.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Vada, what did you feel.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I felt Justin's hangnail.</P>
<P> JUSTIN<BR> No Vada, that's not what we're looking for, a <BR> hangnail is insignificant. What's in my soul, <BR> feel my aura.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I don't think I'm allowed to.</P>
<P> JUSTIN<BR> I tell you what, let's try it again, hold <BR> hands.</P>
<P> VADA'S THOUGHTS<BR> Grammoo once had a hangnail on her big toe. <BR> It got infected and traveled to her vocal <BR> chords, it ruined her singing voice, I don't <BR> think Grammoo thought it was insignificant.</P>
<P> VADA'S ROOM, VADA LYING ON BED THINKING</P>
<P> Vada gets out of bed and goes down corridor to see Grammoo, <BR> she seats herself cross legged next to Grammoo on her bed <BR> and takes her hands in an attempt to do some spiritual <BR> healing</P>
<P> SUPERMARKET DAY, VADA AND HARRY ARE SHOPPING</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Lettuce, watch out for the rust when you get <BR> lettuce.</P>
<P> Suddenly Shelly appears behind them and calls out</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Hey, I thought I recognized you two, hi Vada.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Hi.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I'm just picking some things up for the <BR> barbecue.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Yeah, me too, mind if I tag along?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Not at all. Lot of potatoes!</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> It's for Shelly's famous potato salad.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I'm looking forward to that.</P>
<P> Vada, who is pushing the shopping trolley behind Harry and <BR> Shelly, obviously does not like the idea of Harry & Shelly, <BR> and she rams her cart into Harry</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> HEY, OUCH, damn it!! Vada, watch what you're <BR> doing.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Sorry.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> You know this is gonna be my first 4th of <BR> July picnic in a long time.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Really?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (picking up large can of <BR> prunes)<BR> Dad, didn't you say you needed prunes REAL <BR> bad?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Ahh, Vada, just put anything you want in the <BR> cart, anything at all.<BR> (to Shelly)<BR> I don't know what's gotten into her today.</P>
<P> Vada begins to throw cans of every description from the <BR> shelf into the shopping trolley at regular intervals, not <BR> giving a stuff what they contain</P>
<P> VADA'S THOUGHTS<BR> I used to like to play with my Ken and Barbie <BR> dolls, Ken was my favorite. Then one Christmas <BR> I got them a camper, and all they wanted to do <BR> was hang out in it by themselves. So I wasn't <BR> too upset when they took that wrong turn and <BR> went over a cliff.</P>
<P> CLOSE UP OF AMERICAN FLAG DAY, HARRY - PLAYING TUBA, <BR> SHELLY, PHIL & VADA SINGING "STAR SPANGLED BANNER" AND <BR> GRAMMOO STANDING NEXT TO THEM WATCHING</P>
<P> MUSTANG PULLS UP NEXT TO SHELLY'S CAMPER, IT STOPS AND TWO <BR> MEN GET OUT</P>
<P> HARRY COOKING MEAT PATTIES ON BARBECUE, WHICH ARE BEGINNING <BR> TO LOOK CHARRED, PHIL IS STANDING NEXT TO HIM</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> Harry Harry Harry Harry Harry, I told you to <BR> use fewer briquettes and now look what you've <BR> done. You've cremated them.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> That's what I do. Do you wanna do it??</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> No, no no....</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Look if you think you know how, why don't you <BR> pre-measure the briquettes in little packages, <BR> put out a product, support me for a while!</P>
<P> Phil exits scene, Shelly comes up behind Harry</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> How's it going chef?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Okay.</P>
<P> Vada is seen turning her head to look at Harry and Shelly, <BR> she doesn't like Harry and Shelly standing so close <BR> together, she decides to make her move and pushes in between <BR> Harry and Shelly</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Are they ready yet?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> No, sweetie, not yet.</P>
<P> Shelly begins to brush Vada's hair with her fingers, which <BR> Vada does not like and she shakes her head to get Shelly off</P>
<P> VADA<BR> When?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Soon honey, soon.</P>
<P> Shelly again tries to fix up Vada's hair<BR> (which there doesn't appear <BR> to be anything wrong with)<BR> And Vada shakes her off again</P>
<P> VADA<BR> When??</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> In a minute, look it's hot, sweetie you'll <BR> burn your nose, look out.</P>
<P> Vada backs off, followed by Shelly</P>
<P> THE TWO MEN THAT GOT OUT OF THE CAR ARE PROCEEDING UP THE <BR> SULTENFUSS' DRIVEWAY</P>
<P> FOCUS ON PHIL, HARRY, VADA, SHELLY AND GRAMMOO AT THE TABLE <BR> OUTSIDE, SHELLY SAYS A SEMI-GRACE</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, yay God.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I'll second that.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Hey Shelly, like seafood?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Uh huh, why?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> See food!</P>
<P> Vada opens her mouth and displays half chewed BBQ cuisine <BR> to Shelly</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (laughing)<BR> That's attractive.</P>
<P> Shelly's glance moves to behind Grammoo on the other side <BR> of the table and beyond, where the two men are standing <BR> looking around</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (under her breath)<BR> Oh shit! Excuse me...</P>
<P> Shelly gets up and moves off to talk to the men, Vada and <BR> Phil turn so they can see what is going on, Harry can <BR> already see, Grammoo just sits staring into space</P>
<P> MAN<BR> Hey Shelly, who lives here?<BR> (pointing at hearse)<BR> The Addams Family?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Danny, what are you doing here?</P>
<P> DANNY<BR> What am I doing here????? What am I doing <BR> here?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (to other man in background) <BR> Hi Ralph. Oh Danny, how'd you find me here?</P>
<P> DANNY<BR> You told everybody where you were going, I'm <BR> here for the motor home.</P>
<P> Scene shifts to Vada, Phil and Harry for a moment</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> These two people do not have a good <BR> relationship.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (in background)<BR> No! _I_ bought it, _I_ paid for it...</P>
<P> Scene shifts back to close up of Shelly and Danny arguing</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I've been living in it for over a year, the <BR> camper is mine.</P>
<P> DANNY<BR> Excuse me, MUTUAL ASSET, that's what the <BR> lawyer said, it's supposed to be "OUR MUTUAL <BR> ASSET", not "Shelly's recreational vehicle". <BR> Gimme the keys.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Keep your voice down!</P>
<P> DANNY<BR> What?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> The boss is watching us...</P>
<P> DANNY<BR> (sarcastic)<BR> I'm impressed.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> God I guess i'll have to introduce you now.</P>
<P> DANNY<BR> Yeah, all right...</P>
<P> Shelly and Danny walk over to the table where the rest of <BR> the family are seated, Ralph follows close behind</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (Talking to Danny, pointing <BR> at the people respectively)<BR> This is Harry, Phil, Grammoo and Vada <BR> Sultenfuss...</P>
<P> DANNY<BR> Vada Sultenfuss?? Tough break.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (matter-of-fact)<BR> I like my name.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (to the Sultenfuss')<BR> This is Danny and Ralph, they own the Dino <BR> Raphael salon in Detroit.<BR> (pointing at Danny)<BR> We used to be married.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (extremely hopeful, to Danny)<BR> Are you here to take Shelly back?</P>
<P> Danny shakes his head at Vada, then Harry gets up and walks <BR> round the table</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Uhh, it's nice to meet ya. Uhh, we got <BR> burgers and hot dogs here if you'd care to <BR> join us?</P>
<P> DANNY<BR> Can't stay, I'm just here because my <BR> wife.....</P>
<P> Shelly quickly interjects</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Ex...ex, ex...</P>
<P> DANNY<BR> My __EX__ wife seems to have ripped off my <BR> camper.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Shelly?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Honestly Harry, he got the mustang, I <BR> promise.....</P>
<P> DANNY<BR> I don't think so, I got a copy of the <BR> property settlement right here.</P>
<P> Danny pulls out a piece of paper</P>
<P> Ahh Shit, this is my lease...... Damn it, I <BR> keep forgetting things, I'm getting senile.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Danny?</P>
<P> DANNY<BR> WHAT?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Okay, I know you've suffered a terrible loss, <BR> and there's really nothing anyone can do to <BR> comfort you, but I urge you to focus on the <BR> times you had with the camper, the trips you <BR> took, the sights you saw, those days are gone <BR> now, but they'll live on in your heart <BR> forever.</P>
<P> DANNY<BR> (to Shelly)<BR> This guy bonking you?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (disgusted)<BR> Danny that's a real _bonehead_ thing to say!</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (to Danny)<BR> Look, you're not gonna take Shelly's camper.</P>
<P> DANNY<BR> Oh.. Oh.. Oh no?? Oh?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> It's her home! It's where she lives!!</P>
<P> DANNY<BR> Oh really, okay fine look, go cook,<BR> (to Shelly)<BR> Gimme the goddam keys.</P>
<P> Danny tries to grab the keys from Shelly</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Stop it! That hurts!!</P>
<P> Harry is now VERY annoyed</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Danny.....</P>
<P> As Harry says "Danny" for a second time he plants his fist <BR> in Danny's stomach with force, winding him and shutting him <BR> up</P>
<P> FOCUS ON VADA AND PHIL'S FACES, WHICH ARE STARTLED</P>
<P> FULL SCENE, SHELLY IS GAPING, DANNY IS BENT OVER WITH RALPH <BR> HOLDING HIM UP, VADA AND PHIL WATCHING CLOSELY AND GRAMMOO <BR> STARING INTO SPACE</P>
<P> RALPH<BR> What'd you do that for??</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Who are you?</P>
<P> RALPH<BR> I'm his brother.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Oh then you'll probably be visiting us here <BR> quite often.</P>
<P> RALPH<BR> WHY??</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Because if he ever tries to take Shelly's <BR> camper again, I'm gonna bury him in my front <BR> yard.</P>
<P> Ralph looks rather disturbed by this</P>
<P> FOCUS ON VADA AND PHIL, VADA STILL GAPING</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> (quiet voice, to Vada)<BR> Your father is a savage.</P>
<P> Vada looks up at Phil, Phil looks back and nods</P>
<P> ROAD IN FRONT OF SULTENFUSS' HOUSE, DANNY AND RALPH IN CAR, <BR> SHELLY LEANING OVER WITH HER HEAD IN WINDOW NIGHT</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Bye Ralph.</P>
<P> The car with Danny and Ralph in it pulls away and Shelly <BR> waves</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (to Harry)<BR> Well, you were pretty great!</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Is it really your camper?</P>
<P> Shelly makes gesture with her right hand suggesting "sort <BR> of"</P>
<P> Suddenly a sky rocket screams up in the sky and then <BR> explodes, Harry and Shelly look up and watch the fireworks</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Can we see it from the back yard?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> You can get the general idea...</P>
<P> They move off to the back yard...</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Yep, there they are... They always look the <BR> same every year...</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Pointing upwards Look...</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Did you ahh, love him?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I would never marry anybody I didn't love.</P>
<P> VADA AND PHIL SITTING ON SEAT-SWING WATCHING FIREWORKS</P>
<P> VADA<BR> He must like Shelly, I never saw him hit <BR> anyone in his life.</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> He likes her.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Does he love her?</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> Probably.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Do you like her?</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> Yes I do, and I think she's very good for <BR> your father.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Why?</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> After your mother died, he was sad all the <BR> time, but before that, he was pretty funny.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Really?</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> Now when I see him with Shelly, sometimes he <BR> seems like the old Harry.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> My Dad was funny?</P>
<P> PHIL<BR> Well he wasn't one of the Marx brothers, but <BR> he made me laugh.</P>
<P> VADA'S THOUGHTS<BR> My Uncle fought in the Korean war, he had a <BR> steel plate put in his head, Daddy said he <BR> didn't come back the same, one night, he <BR> picked up a radio station from Oklahoma in his <BR> teeth, it was really neat.</P>
<P> DR WELTY'S SURGERY, LOOKING AT VADA WHO HAS HER MOUTH OPEN <BR> WITH A TONGUE HOLDING STICK DOWN HER THROAT</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (with stick in mouth)<BR> Carnnk yu sheeee ik??</P>
<P> Dr. Welty removes stick from Vada's mouth</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Can't you see it?</P>
<P> DR WELTY<BR> No.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> It's there.</P>
<P> DR WELTY<BR> Vada there is no chicken bone stuck in your <BR> throat.</P>
<P> Vada looks at the Dr.'s certificates up on the wall</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Dr. Welty, are you sure those are yours?</P>
<P> WAITING ROOM, NURSE RANDALL IS DEMONSTRATING A SYRINGE TO <BR> THOMAS J, HOW TO USE IT AS A WATER GUN</P>
<P> NURSE RANDALL<BR> So you fill it with water like this, and what <BR> have you got? A water gun.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Cool, can I get one for Vada?</P>
<P> NURSE RANDALL<BR> Oh yes, yes.</P>
<P> She gets another one out of her drawer</P>
<P> Thomas, let me ask you a question. Does Vada <BR> ever tell you why she comes down here so much?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Cause she's dying.</P>
<P> NURSE RANDALL<BR> Do you think she is?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> No.</P>
<P> NURSE RANDALL<BR> Why do you think she says that?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Cause she gets scared of all those dead <BR> people in her house, and you know that saying, <BR> If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, well if <BR> she's one of them, she won't be as scared.</P>
<P> NURSE RANDALL<BR> You know what I think? I think Vada's very <BR> lucky to have a friend like you.</P>
<P> Nurse Randall hands Thomas J another syringe</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> She's my best friend.</P>
<P> The door to the doctor's surgery opens and Vada exits</P>
<P> NURSE RANDALL<BR> Miss Vada, how are you feeling?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> As good as can be expected.</P>
<P> CORRIDOR OUTSIDE DOCTORS WAITING ROOM</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Hey Vada, guess what we got?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> What?</P>
<P> Thomas J begins to run, and as he passes Vada he squirts <BR> his syringe at Vada</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> THIS!!<BR> (squirt)</P>
<P> VADA<BR> HEY YOU!!!!<BR> (squirt)<BR> I'm gonna get you!!!<BR> (squirt)<BR> I'll get you!!!!</P>
<P> Vada at this point is unarmed, and she chases Thomas J down <BR> the stairs</P>
<P> FOREST DAY, VADA AND THOMAS J ARE RUNNING THROUGH IT FIRING <BR> THEIR WATER GUNS AT EACH OTHER AND YELLING AT EACH OTHER, <BR> HAVING FUN</P>
<P> Suddenly Thomas J stops in his tracks</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Woah!!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> What?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Pointing There's a beehive right there!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> So?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Stand back.</P>
<P> Thomas J stands a pace back behind a branch on the tree and <BR> begins to squirt the beehive</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Are you crazy, you'll get stung!!</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> You're right, let's knock it down.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> What do you want it for anyway?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> For their meat.</P>
<P> The two start throwing rocks at the hive, which gets <BR> damaged and eventually falls to the ground</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Got it!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> My mood ring! It fell off! I gotta find it!</P>
<P> They begin to search for Vada's mood ring</P>
<P> Suddenly bees begin to swarm, luckily Thomas J notices in <BR> time</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> They're alive!! Run for your life!!!</P>
<P> Vada just stands there looking, Thomas J comes back and <BR> grabs her arm, this wakes her up and they begin to run</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Run faster they're after us!!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I am running faster!!</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Hurry!!!</P>
<P> They have run to the spot with the weeping willow and the <BR> pier, they run out on to the pier</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Jump in the water!!</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> But I have my clothes on!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Do it!</P>
<P> UNDER WATER VIEW OF THEM BOTH, HOLDING THEIR BREATH</P>
<P> INSIDE VIEW OF FRONT DOOR TO SULTENFUSS' HOUSE, VADA ENTERS <BR> DRENCHED</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (in the distance, from <BR> upstairs)<BR> Vada is that you?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Yes..</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Hey guess what? We're going to the carnival <BR> tonight, be ready to go in 10 minutes.</P>
<P> Vada likes this news, she hurries up the stairs</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Shelly's coming with us.</P>
<P> Vada is now not so happy</P>
<P> CARNIVAL NIGHT, FERRIS WHEEL IS SPINNING, MANY PEOPLE ARE <BR> SCREAMING IN A TYPICAL CARNIVAL MANNER, SLOW ZOOM ON HARRY, <BR> SHELLY AND VADA</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> So Vada, what's your favorite ride?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I like the freak show.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I know, I know, let's go on the "sit on the <BR> bench and rest" ride.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I don't think that that roller coaster agreed <BR> with your bad stomach. You know Vada you have <BR> to watch what you eat here, I remember one <BR> time I went to a carnival with my cousins <BR> David and Frank, and they both ate hot dogs, <BR> and the next day they came down with <BR> nephritis.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Nephritis? It's a kidney disease, you don't <BR> get it from hot dogs.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Well, I'm no doctor. All I know is, the next <BR> day they had really high fevers, and their <BR> faces got very fat. They baffled medical <BR> science, they were in a magazine.</P>
<P> Vada and Harry give Shelly a "yeah RIGHT" look</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> They were!! "Popular Mechanics", no "Popular <BR> Science". I don't know, popular.</P>
<P> HARRY, SHELLY AND VADA ARE STANDING AT A STALL WHERE OBJECT <BR> IS TO GET A BALL IN FISH BOWL</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Oh look they're trying to hit that poor <BR> thing.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Watch you don't knock out a fish.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Perfect.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I don't know which ball's mine.</P>
<P> Vada gets a ball in a bowl</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I won, I won!!!</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Oh great!!</P>
<P> ATTENDANT<BR> Hooray, we have a winner,<BR> (picks up fish in plastic <BR> bag)<BR> There you go little girl.<BR> (gives fish to Vada)<BR> See how easy it is folks!</P>
<P> Shelly inspects fish, holding it along with Vada</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Oh Vada, that's a gorgeous goldfish.</P>
<P> Vada notices something on Shelly's hand</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Where'd you get that ring?</P>
<P> All of a sudden Shelly looks up with a guilty look</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (extremely hopeful)<BR> Did you win it?</P>
<P> Harry and Shelly exchange looks, Harry smiles, followed by <BR> Shelly</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Vada we have something to tell you. Harry?</P>
<P> Harry sits down on table and looks at Vada in a matter-of-<BR> fact way</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Vada we have some good news, Shelly and I are <BR> getting married.</P>
<P> Vada's expression‎ begins to change from hopeful, to horror, <BR> but then she drops her fish</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Oh my fish!!!</P>
<P> Vada quickly bends over to pick up the fish</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> We're having the wedding sometime near the <BR> end of the summer.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Not acknowledging Harry's comment You'll be okay little <BR> fish.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Vada? Would you like us to get you another <BR> goldfish?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (angry)<BR> NO!, He's fine.<BR> (less angry, talking to fish)<BR> Fish are very resilient animals you know. <BR> Don't worry, I won't get another fish.</P>
<P> Shelly and Harry exchange worried looks, Vada doesn't seem <BR> to have understood</P>
<P> ANNOUNCER<BR> THE BUMPER CARS!! THE BUMPER CARS!! FOR JUST <BR> 50 CENTS A HALF DOLLAR, FIVE DIMES, 10 <BR> NICKELS, WE HAVE A RIDE THAT'S GUARANTEED TO <BR> REARRANGE ALL OF YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Oh bumper cars, oh you can't go to a carnival <BR> and not ride the bumper cars.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I fall asleep at the wheel.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (malicious grin)<BR> I'll ride on the bumper cars with you!</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Oh great Vada, come on...</P>
<P> They run off leaving Harry to carry the teddy bear and the <BR> fish</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (to the attendant)<BR> Uhh, two.<BR> (to Vada)<BR> I got the blue one!!</P>
<P> Vada runs in past Shelly and seats herself in a car</P>
<P> VADA<BR> NO!</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Yes!!</P>
<P> Shelly gets in the blue one</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (pointing at Vada)<BR> I am gonna get you.</P>
<P> Vada straps herself in, Shelly turns around and gives Vada <BR> the thumbs up, Vada looks VERY intent on brutally murdering <BR> something now, and she returns the thumbs up, as she does <BR> so, music begins to play and the power is turned on, the <BR> song is "Bad Moon Rising"</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Vada, keep your hands on the wheel!!</P>
<P> Vada rushes straight at Shelly and rams into her at top <BR> speed, so that Shelly's car is spun around a little, Shelly <BR> screams, this is all in good fun, at the moment. Then Vada <BR> rams her again, and again, and again, and again, and <BR> eventually, Shelly does not look too pleased, she can't <BR> escape Vada</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Careful Vada, careful.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Shelly LOOK OUT!</P>
<P> WWHHAAMMM</P>
<P> Shelly and Vada pull up along side each other, Vada gives <BR> Shelly a satisfied but still spiteful grin</P>
<P> VADA IS RIDING HER BIKE ALONG HER STREET TOWARDS THE <BR> CAMERA, SHE STOPS AND DISMOUNTS OUTSIDE THOMAS J'S HOUSE</P>
<P> Vada rings the Sennett's doorbell, and Mrs Sennett answers</P>
<P> MRS. SENNETT<BR> Hi Vada.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Hi, can Thomas J come out?</P>
<P> MRS. SENNETT<BR> Sure, come in.</P>
<P> Thomas J is coming down the stairs</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Hi Vada.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Hi, wanna ride bikes?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Sure.</P>
<P> MRS. SENNETT<BR> Ohh, did you make your bed?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Yes.</P>
<P> MRS. SENNETT<BR> You're sure?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> It's made.</P>
<P> MRS. SENNETT<BR> Come here, you've got a milk mustache.</P>
<P> Mrs. Sennett wipes Thomas J's lip</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Come on, let's go.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Bye Mrs. Sennett.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Bye Ma.</P>
<P> MRS. SENNETT<BR> Have fun kids.</P>
<P> The two exit the house</P>
<P> OUTSIDE FRONT OF SENNETT'S HOUSE, VADA AND THOMAS J ARE <BR> WALKING DOWN THE STAIRS</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I'm running away.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Where you running to?</P>
<P> They get on their bikes and begin to ride off</P>
<P> VADA<BR> California, I'm going to Hollywood to live <BR> with the Brady Bunch.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I wanna live with them too.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> No, you can't, they have enough kids, you'll <BR> have to live with the Partridge Family.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Really?</P>
<P> SOMEWHERE ON A PATHWAY IN A LIGHT FOREST, VADA AND THOMAS J <BR> ARE RIDING THEIR BIKES</P>
<P> Thomas J stops and then does Vada</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> That's it.</P>
<P> Thomas J goes and sits down on the river bank, Vada follows <BR> with an annoyed look</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Get up!?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I'm tired of running away. Besides, we past <BR> this place two times already. We're not <BR> getting nowhere.</P>
<P> Vada sits down next to Thomas J</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Why are you running away?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> My Dad gave Shelly a ring.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Wow, was it a decoder ring?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> You're such a retard, it was an engagement <BR> ring.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> They're getting married?</P>
<P> Vada nods her head</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> So now you'll have a mother.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I don't like her.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I do, she's real funny.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> He likes her better than me.</P>
<P> A TREE DUSK, THOMAS J AND VADA ARE UP THE TOP OF IT</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I'm hungry, I can't last any longer.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Then go home, baby.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> I have to anyway, my mom will be worried.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Leave then, some friend you are.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> You can come to my house for dinner?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> No, I'm hiding out.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Okay, seeya.</P>
<P> Thomas J climbs down from tree, and leaves</P>
<P> DISSOLVE INTO NEXT SCENE</P>
<P> VADA STILL IN TREE NIGHT, SHE LOOKS AROUND AND THEN DECIDES <BR> TO GET DOWN</P>
<P> Vada jumps down, and we can now see that the tree was on <BR> the Sultenfuss' front lawn</P>
<P> INSIDE VIEW OF FRONT DOOR, VADA ENTERS AND CLOSES IT</P>
<P> As soon as Vada has entered, she waits for someone to come <BR> running and ask her if she's all right, where she's been, <BR> they were so worried etc., Nothing happens, all she can hear <BR> is the noise that the TV is making. So she opens the door <BR> again and slams it. Still nothing. She decides to give up, <BR> and go find Harry, she walks to the living room where the TV <BR> is on, Harry and Grammoo are asleep in their chairs</P>
<P> Vada begins to ascend the stairs, depressed</P>
<P> VADA'S THOUGHTS<BR> In social studies we learned some people <BR> stole the Limburg baby right out of his house, <BR> I think i'll sleep with my window OPEN <BR> tonight.</P>
<P> OUTSIDE SULTENFUSS' HOUSE, A LOUD HIGH PITCHED SCREAM IS <BR> HEARD</P>
<P> VIEW OF CORRIDOR LEADING TO BATHROOM</P>
<P> VADA<BR> OH MY GOD!!!</P>
<P> Vada bursts out of the bathroom and screams down the stairs</P>
<P> VADA<BR> DADDY!! Daddy daddy!!!! Daddy!!??!?!</P>
<P> Vada runs into a room where Shelly is</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Daddy??!?!?!</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Vada, Vada, what's the matter?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Where's Daddy?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Well he just left, what's wrong?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I'm hemorrhaging.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> What do you mean you're hemorrhaging?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (very weak, scared voice)<BR> I don't want, I don't need your help....</P>
<P> Vada tries to run away, but Shelly stops her</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Vada, did this happen in the bathroom?</P>
<P> Vada nods her head</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> How old are you?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I'm eleven and a half.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> It's okay, come on upstairs, we have to have <BR> a little talk.</P>
<P> They exit</P>
<P> VADA'S BEDROOM, VADA AND SHELLY SITTING ON BED</P>
<P> VADA<BR> My Mommy and Daddy did THAT?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> It's actually a very beautiful thing, and <BR> look there wouldn't have been a Vada.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I think it should be outlawed.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Believe me, some day, you'll feel <BR> differently.</P>
<P> Door bell is heard ringing</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Oh, that's probably Thomas J, I don't wanna <BR> see him. It's not fair. Nothing happens to <BR> boys.</P>
<P> OUTSIDE FRONT DOOR OF SULTENFUSS' HOUSE, VADA OPENS DOOR</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Hi Vada, can you come out?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I dunno..</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Please, it's real hot, maybe we can go <BR> swimming?</P>
<P> Vada is angered by this, she comes storming out</P>
<P> VADA<BR> NO!</P>
<P> Vada pushed Thomas J hard enough to make him fall over, she <BR> is angry</P>
<P> Get outta here!! And don't come back for five <BR> to seven days!!!</P>
<P> Vada runs inside and slams the door, leaving poor Thomas J <BR> sitting on the porch looking startled</P>
<P> FUNERAL ROOM OF SULTENFUSS' HOUSE, PIPE ORGAN IS BEING <BR> PLAYED, MANY PEOPLE ARE SEATED AND THERE IS AN OPEN COFFIN <BR> UP THE FRONT</P>
<P> LIVING ROOM, VADA IS READING A BOOK, AND WATCHING GRAMMOO <BR> TO BE SURE THAT SHE DOESN'T WANDER OFF, VADA PUTS THE BOOK <BR> DOWN</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Grammoo, I'm going to the bathroom, i'll be <BR> right back.</P>
<P> She then gives Grammoo a little kiss, and makes her way out <BR> of the living room to the bathroom, closing the door behind <BR> her, as she goes to enter the bathroom she hears giggling <BR> coming from the next room, so she goes to investigate. Harry <BR> and Shelly are kissing and giggling. As she is watching <BR> this, Grammoo gets up, enters the funeral room and makes her <BR> way to the front, when she gets there, she picks up a rose, <BR> takes a look at the dead man, and begins to sing into the <BR> rose as if it were a microphone</P>
<P> GRAMMOO<BR> It's quarter to three, there's no-one in the <BR> place, just you and me.</P>
<P> As this is being sung, Vada hears and turns around with an <BR> OH SHIT look on her face, Harry and Shelly also hear it <BR> and make off for the funeral room, Vada quickly retreats <BR> into the room where Harry and Shelly were, closing the door <BR> behind her</P>
<P> So santa-macho, I got a little story you <BR> oughtta know, we're comin' my friend, to the <BR> end of a brief episode, so make it one for my <BR> baby and one more for the road.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I'm so sorry, it's all right ma, I'm very <BR> very sorry.</P>
<P> ROOM IN SULTENFUSS' HOUSE, HARRY BURSTS IN, CLEARLY HE IS <BR> VERY ANGRY</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Grabs Vada by the shoulders <BR> Now what were you thinking, huh? HUH???? It's <BR> your responsibility to watch her!! Do you have <BR> any idea how upset those people are in <BR> there???!</P>
<P> Vada breaks free from Harry's grip, and walks briskly out <BR> of the room. Shelly looks back at Harry expectantly</P>
<P> WEEPING WILLOW TREE DOWN AT THE LAKES EDGE, VADA AND THOMAS <BR> J ARE SITTING UNDER IT RESTING QUIETLY</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Why do you think people want to get married?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Well when you get older, you just have to.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I'm gonna marry Mr. Bixler.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> You can't marry a teacher, it's against the <BR> law.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> It is not.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Yes it is, cause then he'll give you all A's <BR> and it won't be fair.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Not true.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (nervously, uncertain)<BR> Have you ever kissed anyone?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Like they do on TV?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Uh huh.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> No.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Maybe we should, just to see what's the big <BR> deal.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> But, I don't know how.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Here, practice on your arm like this.</P>
<P> Vada brings her forearm up to her mouth and starts to kiss <BR> it, Thomas J follows</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Like this?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Uh huh.<BR> (they kiss their arms for a <BR> while)<BR> Okay, enough practice.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Close your eyes.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> But then I won't be able to see anything.</P>
<P> Vada raises her fist</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Just do it.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Okay, okay.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Okay on the count of three.</P>
<P> CAMERA SWITCHES ANGLES TO GIVE A CLEAR SIDE ON OF THOMAS J</P>
<P> VADA<BR> One.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Two.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Two and a half.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Three.</P>
<P> Vada leans forward and kisses Thomas J on the lips, they <BR> both look surprised, Vada then sits back against the tree, <BR> long pause</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Say something it's too quiet.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Umm, Ummmmm</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (agitated)<BR> Just, hurry.</P>
<P> Thomas J stands up and begins to say something along the <BR> lines of...</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> On political agents to the flag of the United <BR> States of America,</P>
<P> Vada stands up and joins in</P>
<P> THOMAS J & VADA<BR> And to the republic for which it stands, one <BR> nation, under God, individual, with liberty <BR> and justice for all.</P>
<P> When they finish, they both still look a little <BR> uncomfortable</P>
<P> ROAD DAY, VADA AND THOMAS J ARE WHEELING THEIR BIKES BACK <BR> DOWN IT</P>
<P> VADA<BR> You better not tell anyone.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> You better not either.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Well, let's spit on it.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Okay.</P>
<P> Both of them raise their hands to their mouths and spit on <BR> them, they then shake hands and when finished wipe them off <BR> on their trousers</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Seeya tomorrow.</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Okay, seeya.<BR> (Vada starts off down the <BR> road)<BR> Vada?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> What?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Would you think of me?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> For what?</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> Well if you don't get to marry Mr. Bixler.</P>
<P> Vada smiles, and gets on her bike</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I guess.</P>
<P> As Vada rides off, Thomas J smiles</P>
<P> BACK IN THE WOODS WHERE VADA AND THOMAS J HAD FOUND THE <BR> BEEHIVE</P>
<P> Thomas J comes across the beehive, inspects it and then <BR> kicks it, he waits and then once he is adamant that there is <BR> no danger, he begins to search for Vada's mood ring, he <BR> searches, and as he does so, bees begin to swarm, he finds <BR> the mood ring, and by the time he notices that there are <BR> bees everywhere, it is too late..</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> (as he finds the mood ring)<BR> Yes!</P>
<P> THOMAS J<BR> (reacting to the bees)<BR> Ow, ahh, NO!, Get away!!!</P>
<P> We see Thomas J's glasses fall off onto the ground</P>
<P> OUTSIDE FRONT DOOR, SULTENFUSS' HOUSE, POLICEMAN PRESSES <BR> DOORBELL, HARRY ANSWERS</P>
<P> A policeman enters, takes his hat off and explains what has <BR> happened to Thomas J to Harry, who becomes clearly very <BR> distressed</P>
<P> VADA'S ROOM, VADA IS FEEDING FISH, HARRY ENTERS</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Hi Vada.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Hi.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> What are you doing.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Feeding my fish.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Is that the fish you won at the carnival?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Yes.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> He's getting big.<BR> (sad pause)<BR> Vada, come here and sit down for a minute.</P>
<P> Vada sits down next to her Dad</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Vada, something happened to Thomas J last <BR> night, he stepped on a beehive.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (beginning to look worried)<BR> I told him not to tease those bees. Did he <BR> get stung?</P>
<P> Harry nods</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Maybe I should go over and yell at him.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> No sweetheart, you can't.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (looking very worried)<BR> Why not?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> He was allergic to bees.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (extremely worried)<BR> He's okay isn't he?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> (shakes head, near tears)<BR> There were just too many of 'em.</P>
<P> When Vada hears this, her eyes begin to flood with tears <BR> and the expression‎ on her face changes movingly, it looks as <BR> though she just lost the most special and important part of <BR> her life. And she has</P>
<P> VADA RUNNING UP STAIRS INTO DOCTORS OFFICE</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Dr. Welty!!!? Dr. Welty??</P>
<P> DR WELTY<BR> Vada, what's wrong sweetheart?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I can't breathe, I'm suffocating.</P>
<P> DR WELTY<BR> Oh, wait relax now, let me look, let me look, <BR> come up here and we'll have a look.</P>
<P> Dr. Welty lifts Vada up onto bed</P>
<P> VADA<BR> It hurts, it hurts so bad, make it stop.</P>
<P> DR WELTY<BR> What Hurts Vada?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> The bee stings! I can't breathe!</P>
<P> OUTSIDE SULTENFUSS' HOUSE, HARRY AND ARTHUR ARE BRINGING <BR> THOMAS J IN ON A STRETCHER</P>
<P> INSIDE, CORRIDOR OUTSIDE VADA'S ROOM, SHELLY IS CLIMBING <BR> STAIRS CARRYING A TRAY OF FOOD, SHE STOPS OUTSIDE VADA'S <BR> ROOM</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Knocks Vada?</P>
<P> View shifts to inside Vada's bedroom, where she is curled <BR> up in a little ball on her bed</P>
<P> I'm leaving some food for you by the door, in <BR> case you get hungry.</P>
<P> Vada remains where she is, the doorbell rings</P>
<P> DOWNSTAIRS, SHELLY OPENS DOOR TO REVEAL JUDY</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Hi.</P>
<P> JUDY<BR> Hi, is Vada home?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Yes she is, but she's very upset, so she's <BR> not seeing anyone.</P>
<P> JUDY<BR> Oh, I'm Judy, I go to school with her, I <BR> wanted to tell her I'm sorry about Thomas J.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Well maybe she'll feel better in a couple of <BR> days.</P>
<P> JUDY<BR> Will you tell her I came by?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Sure.</P>
<P> JUDY<BR> Thank you. Bye.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Bye.</P>
<P> Shelly closes the door</P>
<P> PEOPLE ARE ENTERING THE FUNERAL ROOM</P>
<P> REV<BR> Hi Harry.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Ahh, Reverand Miles.</P>
<P> REV<BR> The Sennetts want to thank you for taking <BR> care of things so quickly.</P>
<P> THE FUNERAL ROOM IS FILLING UP, WITH THOMAS J AT THE FRONT <BR> IN A COFFIN</P>
<P> CORRIDOR OUTSIDE VADA'S ROOM, SHELLY STOPS OUTSIDE IT</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (knocks)<BR> Vada? I see you took your tray in,</P>
<P> Vada is looking out her blinds at all the black cars and <BR> people dressed in black entering her house</P>
<P> Maybe you should come down for the funeral, <BR> sometimes it helps. Vada?</P>
<P> HARRY'S STUDY, HARRY IS LOOKING AT A PIECE OF PAPER, SHELLY <BR> ENTERS</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> She won't come out. It's been a whole day. <BR> You have to do something Harry.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> The funeral's starting.</P>
<P> Shelly is now very emotional</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Open your eyes, she's eleven years old! Her <BR> only friend in the world is dead.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I know that, but what do you want from me?</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Stop hiding Harry, you run Harry. When I <BR> first came here, the idea of working with dead <BR> people, didn't exactly thrill me, but when I <BR> saw a family lived here, I thought, "if I'm <BR> living without a family, at least I can work <BR> with one, and maybe once in a while i'll be <BR> invited in for supper."</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Yeah, and when those suppers are disrupted <BR> because there's a car crash, or there's a <BR> fire, or a little boy steps on a beehive.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I'm not asking you to stop feeling for those <BR> people. But life isn't just death Harry, don't <BR> ignore the living, especially your daughter.</P>
<P> Arthur enters</P>
<P> ARTHUR<BR> Excuse me Harry, Shelly, the minister's about <BR> to begin.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Thank you Arthur.</P>
<P> Shelly exits</P>
<P> FUNERAL ROOM, MINISTER IS WALKING UP THE FRONT</P>
<P> MINISTER<BR> We are here to honor Thomas James Sennett. He <BR> was born, May 7 1961, in Madison, <BR> Pennsylvania, and he was survived by his <BR> loving parents, Charles and Susan Sennett......<BR> (fades as camera changes)</P>
<P> CAMERA IS ON VADA, WHO IS SLOWLY MAKING HER WAY OUT OF HER <BR> ROOM</P>
<P> The minister is heard to say this in the background</P>
<P> MINISTER<BR> The family has asked me to say a few words <BR> before we proceed. No words that I could say, <BR> would begin to describe the loss and grieving, <BR> one word that keeps ringing in my ear is <BR> Why?. Why would God choose to take this <BR> little boy from us? I can't give you an answer <BR> to that question, but I can tell you that God <BR> has chosen Thomas J for some very special <BR> reason, we must find solace in knowing that <BR> Thomas J is now in Gods care. In that face, <BR> there is no sorrow such as....</P>
<P> The ministers words fade into the very moving music</P>
<P> CAMERA IS ON VADA SLOWLY DESCENDING THE STAIRS AND LOOKING <BR> INTO THE FUNERAL ROOM, THE MUSIC, SCENE AND ACTIONS OF <BR> CHARACTERS IS GETTING TO THE POINT OF MAKING THE VIEWER CRY</P>
<P> Vada stops and sits on a step where she can look through <BR> and see Thomas J lying in his coffin, she begins to cry</P>
<P> BACK IN FUNERAL ROOM, VADA ENTERS AT THE BACK AND BEGINS TO <BR> SLOWLY MAKE HER WAY UP TO THE FRONT</P>
<P> MINISTER<BR> ....disciples began to chastise them, and <BR> Jesus said "Let the children come to me, do <BR> not hinder them, for the Kingdom of God <BR> belongs to such as these.<BR> (the minister notices Vada <BR> coming around the front of the <BR> room)<BR> He laid his hands on their heads before he <BR> left that place, let us pray in silence.</P>
<P> Vada has made it right up to the coffin, which she leans <BR> over and crying, says the following</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Wanna go tree climbing Thomas J?</P>
<P> CAMERA DOES A CLOSE UP OF THOMAS J'S BEE STING COVERED FACE</P>
<P> CAMERA GOES BACK TO PREVIOUS SHOT INCORPORATING VADA AS <BR> WELL</P>
<P> VADA<BR> His face hurts, and where is his glasses? He <BR> can't see without his glasses! Put his glasses <BR> on!<BR> (Harry and Shelly are rapidly <BR> approaching Vada, Shelly takes <BR> hold of her and tries to pull <BR> her away)<BR> Put on his glasses! He was gonna be an <BR> acrobat.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> He's gone sweetheart. He's gone!</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Get away, get away!!</P>
<P> Vada breaks away from Harry's grip and runs out of the <BR> room, followed closely by Harry and Shelly</P>
<P> OUTSIDE THE HOUSE, VADA IS RUNNING DOWN THE STEPS, FOLLOWED <BR> CLOSELY BY HARRY</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Vada wait! Vada! Vada!!</P>
<P> Harry stops running after Vada as she sprints off down the <BR> road</P>
<P> Vada arrives at Mr. Bixler's house</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Vada! I was just on my way to your house. Are <BR> you all right? I'm so sorry about Thomas J.</P>
<P> Vada covers her ears and begins to sing "doo-wah-diddy-<BR> diddy"</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Okay, okay we don't have to talk about him, <BR> Vada, Vada we don't have to talk about him, <BR> it's okay. We won't talk about him all right?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> (crying)<BR> Justin and Ronda say that I should tell <BR> people what I feel.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> (nods)<BR> Come here, sit down over here.</P>
<P> The two of them sit down on Mr. Bixler's porch</P>
<P> Vada is clearly in a lot of pain and she wants it to stop</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Mr. Bixler,<BR> (emotional pause)<BR> I love you.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Oh, Vada...</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I love you like my Dad loves Shelly. I wanna <BR> live here.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Pause as he takes all this in I think your Dad would miss <BR> you.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> No he wouldn't, I can't go home.</P>
<P> A woman appears at Mr. Bixler's front door</P>
<P> SUZANNE<BR> I'll be ready in a second, I just can't seem <BR> to find my other earring....</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Suzanne, this is Vada.</P>
<P> SUZANNE<BR> (comes over to Vada and <BR> crouches)<BR> Vada, hi, I'm really sorry.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Could you just give us a minute?</P>
<P> SUZANNE<BR> Yeah.</P>
<P> Suzanne goes back inside</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Who's that?</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> That's Suzanne.<BR> (pause)<BR> She and I are gonna be married this Fall.</P>
<P> As soon as Vada hears this, she reacts, shaking her head <BR> and backing off</P>
<P> VADA<BR> No....</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> I...I was gonna bring her to class next week. <BR> I wanted to hear your poem. Oh Vada, please <BR> honey I cared for him too, Vada please! Vada, <BR> Vada sweetheart don't.....</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Get away from me!</P>
<P> Vada runs off down the road</P>
<P> WEEPING WILLOW, VADA AND THOMAS J'S FAVORITE SPOT, VADA IS <BR> UP HIGH IN THE TREE</P>
<P> Vada is climbing around in the tree, clearly trying to get <BR> somewhere of significance</P>
<P> VADA'S THOUGHTS<BR> Why do you think people wanna get married?</P>
<P> THOMAS J'S VOICE<BR> When you get old, you just have to.</P>
<P> Vada pulls out her photo of her mother</P>
<P> THOMAS J'S VOICE<BR> Who's that with your Dad?</P>
<P> VADA'S THOUGHTS<BR> It's my mother.</P>
<P> THOMAS J'S VOICE<BR> I'm gonna be an acrobat when I grow up.<BR> (pause)<BR> Vada, would you think of me? Well if you <BR> don't get to marry Mr. Bixler.</P>
<P> VADA'S THOUGHTS<BR> Now we're blood brothers for life.</P>
<P> Vada gets out to the end of a branch, and makes a daring <BR> jump to another, had she fallen she would be dead</P>
<P> OUTSIDE SULTENFUSS' HOUSE, POLICEMAN CLIMBS STEPS AND RINGS <BR> DOORBELL, SHELLY ANSWERS</P>
<P> POLICEMAN<BR> Shelly I'm sorry but we haven't found her <BR> yet.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> It's dark, she can't be alone in the dark.</P>
<P> POLICEMAN<BR> We'll keep looking.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> We, no, we've been looking since this <BR> morning, her teacher called, and he said that <BR> she went there first.....</P>
<P> POLICEMAN<BR> I know, I know you told us.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> But I....</P>
<P> Shelly is cut off as the door opens and in walks a very <BR> shaken Vada</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Vada. Are you okay?<BR> (Vada nods)<BR> Oh God.</P>
<P> Shelly embraces Vada</P>
<P> VADA'S ROOM, SHELLY AND VADA ARE SITTING ON VADA'S BED, <BR> SHELLY IS BRUSHING VADA'S HAIR</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I should have told Thomas J that he was my <BR> best friend.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I'm sure he knew.</P>
<P> Shelly puts a nightie on Vada</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Shelly, I stole some money from your cookie <BR> jar, to pay for the writing class.</P>
<P> Shelly ponders this for a moment</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> It's okay sweetheart.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I'll pay it back, besides, I don't think i'll <BR> ever go to class again.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> I'll tell you what, you dedicate your first <BR> book to me, and we'll forget about the whole <BR> thing.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I will I promise.</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Okay, get in to bed.</P>
<P> Vada gets into bed and extends her arms to Shelly, they hug <BR> each other, Vada has finally accepted Shelly</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> Goodnight.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Goodnight.</P>
<P> Shelly exits and turns off the lights</P>
<P> DOWNSTAIRS, HARRY ENTERS</P>
<P> SHELLY<BR> (sitting on stairs)<BR> She's in.</P>
<P> BACK IN VADA'S ROOM</P>
<P> Harry enters, walks over and kisses Vada, then turns around <BR> and begins to exit</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Did I kill my mother?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> What??</P>
<P> VADA<BR> The bees killed Thomas J, and I killed my <BR> mother.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> No, no.</P>
<P> Harry pulls up a chair and sits down next to Vada</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> No sweetie that wasn't your fault, things <BR> like that aren't anybody's fault, it just <BR> happened.</P>
<P> Vada pulls out the photo of Harry and Vada's Mom from under <BR> her pillow</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I found this.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> I forgot about that picture, where did you <BR> find it?</P>
<P> VADA<BR> In the garage.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Ahh, that little Chevy was your mothers <BR> favorite car.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> What was my mama like?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> She was pretty, and kind, she had your eyes. <BR> Oh boy did she love to laugh. Sometimes when <BR> you laugh, you sound just like her.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Really?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Uh huh. You know what your mother did when <BR> she found out she was gonna have you? She came <BR> home and painted this whole room pink. She was <BR> so sure she was gonna have a little girl.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Do you miss her?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Yes, I did, very much for a long time, and <BR> even now, I get a little sad when I think of a <BR> pretty flower or a sunset that your mother <BR> would have liked.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I think every time I see a climbing tree i'll <BR> think of Thomas J.</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> That's good, memories are good sweetheart. <BR> Vada, I'm sorry; I was trying to keep it from <BR> you, I just couldn't. You're a good girl, and <BR> I want you to be happy; don't be an old grump <BR> like me.<BR> (Vada puts the photo back <BR> under her pillow, Harry gets <BR> up and kisses her)<BR> Seeya in the morning.</P>
<P> Harry begins to leave room</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Daddy, it's not so bad to be like you.</P>
<P> A CAFE IN TOWN, HARRY IS EATING, MRS. SENNETT COMES AND <BR> KNOCKS ON THE WINDOW</P>
<P> Harry makes his way out of the cafe to talk to Mrs. Sennett</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Mrs. Sennett, how are you doing?</P>
<P> MRS. SENNETT<BR> Some days I think i'll be okay, others, well <BR> I have to force myself even to get out of bed, <BR> I know it's crazy, but sometimes I think he's <BR> just away at summer camp. How's Vada?</P>
<P> HARRY<BR> Oh she's doing much better. Ahh she's just <BR> inside.<BR> (walks over to entrance)</P>
<P> VADA!</P>
<P> Vada, who is inside talking to someone, hears and comes <BR> outside</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Mrs. Sennett.<BR> (she runs and gives her a <BR> hug)</P>
<P> MRS. SENNETT<BR> Vada. I've been wanting to come over to see <BR> you,<BR> (she reaches inside her purse <BR> and gets out something, it is <BR> Vada's mood ring)<BR> Thomas J had this on him, I thought you might <BR> like to have it.</P>
<P> Vada slides the ring onto her finger, the ring is BLUE</P>
<P> You were such a good friend to him, I hope <BR> you'll still come by and visit me.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I will, I promise.</P>
<P> Mrs. Sennett looks at Harry as if to say good-bye, and then <BR> walks off slowly</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Mrs. Sennett.<BR> (she stops and turns around <BR> to look at Vada)<BR> Thomas J will be all right, my mother will <BR> take care of him.</P>
<P> MRS. SENNETT<BR> Thank you Vada.</P>
<P> She then turns and walks off</P>
<P> SUMMER WRITING CLASS, FOCUS ON MR. BIXLER</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> (reading from book)<BR> Encased in talent, like a uniform, the rank <BR> of every poet, is well known. They can amaze <BR> us like a thunderstorm, or die so young, or <BR> live for years alone. My advice to you on our <BR> last class, be a thunderstorm.</P>
<P> JUSTIN<BR> What exactly do you mean by that?</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> I mean, be dangerous<BR> (Vada enters the back of the <BR> room)<BR> And unpredictable. And make a lot of noise.</P>
<P> Mr. Bixler sees Vada</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> Vada.</P>
<P> As Vada is noticed, she goes around getting hugged by <BR> everyone</P>
<P> JUSTIN<BR> Hey, we missed you man! Gimme a hug!</P>
<P> Vada gives Justin a hug, she then proceeds towards Mr. <BR> Bixler</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> I was hoping you'd stop by today.</P>
<P> Vada and Mr. Bixler hug each other</P>
<P> VADA<BR> I can't stay, I just came to read my poem.</P>
<P> MR. BIXLER<BR> We'd love to hear it.</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Weeping willow with your tears running down, <BR> Why do you always weep and frown, Is it <BR> because he left you one day, Is it because he <BR> could not stay, On your branches he would <BR> swing, Do you long for the happiness that they <BR> would bring, He found shelter in your shade, <BR> He thought his laughter would never fade, <BR> Weeping willow stop your tears, There is <BR> something to calm your fears, You think death <BR> as if you forever part, But I know he'll <BR> always be in your heart.</P>
<P> There is a long pause as it sinks in, everybody remains <BR> silent, then just before the scene changes, the Temptations <BR> song "My Girl" begins to play</P>
<P> OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL, VADA COMES OUT THE DOOR AND DOWN THE <BR> STEPS WHERE JUDY AWAITS HER</P>
<P> VADA<BR> Hi Judy.</P>
<P> JUDY<BR> Hi Vada.</P>
<P> VADA'S THOUGHTS<BR> Things are a little better these days; I <BR> finally swallowed that chicken bone, Judy and <BR> I are gonna be in the same home room and the <BR> republican party just re-nominated Mr. Nixon.</P>
<P> Vada and Judy ride off down the road on their bikes, the <BR> camera angle rises and the credits begin to roll as the song <BR> My Girl plays</P>
<P> END <BR></P>
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