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[Stylish(진화)]

 

How to Reject Someone Without Breaking Their Heart

 Steps

- 1 -

Look around to make sure no one's watching. The worst that can happen is being rejected in front of other people! If there are people present, take their arm and try to slide away from the others. Perhaps if you can slip into a semi-private corner or at least to where the others are not within hearing distance.

- 2 -

Say something like, "I'm sorry, but I don't just feel the same way you feel about me" or "I like you, but only as a friend." Apologize and ask if you can still be friends. Don't act cold. Be warm and friendly. You can also say, "I would really like for us to be friends."

- 3 -

Act like you feel sorry, and smile at the right times. Make sure you smile regretfully, like you really just wish you could give them a chance but it's not going to happen. This will soften the actual blow from the words.

- 4 -

Cheer them up a little. Be very kind to the person; being kind makes it easier on them. Be sure that your kindness does not stray into pity. The worst thing in a rejection is pity. They have put all their dignity and pride on the line, and pitying them will only make it harder on both of you to stay calm. If you act like you really don't want this person, be prepared for their reactions, mostly dejection, awkwardness and pain.

- 5 -

Use a calm, collected voice when speaking to them. Don't blurt out the first thing that comes into your head. Take a pause before you say anything and think of the best thing to say to either end all of the attraction instantly or keep them as a friend. Act like you care when you say "No", or you may start waterworks.

Tips

⊙ You have to understand how degrading it is for boys to be rejected.

Don't be so rude to them! What point would there be in trying not to break their heart if you're rude!?

⊙ If the person gets mad, stay calm and keep acting a little sorry, but happy as well to try to calm themdown. This is doubly important. If you get mad you will both respond to the angry tension.

⊙ The best thing to say when turning down someone that you do know or will have to see on a regular basis is that you have stronger feelings as friends. This gives them their answer, without giving them any hope for the future.

⊙- If this is a person that you don't like at all, or will not have to ever see again, then keep the rejection as blunt as possible without being unnecessarily mean. This guarantees that they will not try again and will also not say bad things about you when you're not around.

⊙ It is also possible to say that you are honoured that they have feelings for you but it is not possible at this time for you to return them, but you hope that you can remain friends.

Warnings

⊙ Do not flirt with them during or anytime soon after the rejection. It is very easy to just charm them with a compliment as you let them down, but be sure not to lay it on too thick or the "No" you are issuing will not be heard.

⊙ If you feel,however, that although now is not the right time, but maybe someday, give them hope with clear outlines. Let them know where they stand and perhaps what is holding you back from saying yes now.

*Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Reject-Someone-Without-Breaking-Their-Heart

 Q.

1. What is your opinion about these ways to reject without breaking their heart?

2. Can you reject easily ? or You always say ‘yes”?

3. Some people can not reject well. What do you think of this personality?

4. There are lots of asks that we couldn’t reject. What kind of ask do you hate? Or what kind of ask do you like?

5. Let’s talk about the memory of rejection.

거절에 관한 토픽입니다.

거절에 관한 비법에 관해 이야기 해보시죠.

예스맨인지, 노맨인지에 관해 얘기해보는 것도 좋을테죠.

재미난 기억들이 새록새록 떠오르실 겁니다.

Service, please — but not too much

Customers & employees alike burdened by customer service culture

Illustration by Hanuku

Enter any of the three major department stores in Seoul - Lotte, Shinsegae and Hyundai - in a car and you are greeted by an attractive twentysomething woman in a uniform and high heels who hands you a parking ticket from an automatic ticket dispenser right next to her. She then bows deeply at the waist and thanks you for visiting the store.

This common Korean practice, taken for granted by the majority of shoppers here, is part of the kind of customer-oriented service provided by the country’s major department stores. The service prioritizes kindness and is based on the idea that the virtue leads directly to increased customer loyalty and sales revenue.

Department stores say the ticket service has two major functions: facilitating the flow of incoming cars and giving customers a good first impression.

The women issuing the tickets are “the first people you encounter as you enter the department store,” said a spokesman with Hyundai Department Store, which has its headquarters in Apgujeong-dong, southern Seoul.

Although Hyundai plans to adopt an automatic license plate recognition system at all of its stores - which would eliminate the need for tickets altogether - it will still have the women greet customers at the parking lot gate, he added.

Such efforts to provide better customer service have proven quite successful, and department stores are often identified with kind service in the minds of the general public. But not all customers are happy about the high level of customer service. In fact, some customers say they are overwhelmed by what they describe as an overly burdensome level of kindness.

“I appreciate department store workers trying to be kind to customers,” said Esther Park, a 33-year-old office worker who often shops at department stores for her outfits. “But sometimes I feel they are just going too far. Why does a third person have to pull out the parking ticket when I can reach the machine? I think it’s a total waste of human resources and money.”

“Hearing ‘Thank you’ or ‘Can I help you?’ each time I enter different shops at a department store, I feel like stepping out immediately. They should know there are some customers who are uncomfortable with the over-kindness,” said Chung So-hyun, a private tutor who shops at a department store in her neighborhood at least once a month.

Some academics say the current level of service at department stores, which some customers say is excessive, is reflective of Korean culture.

“There is this traditional culture remaining among a sizable portion of Koreans who enjoy being served,” said Yi You-jae, professor of business administration at Seoul National University.

University students train to become sales clerks in a “kindness academy” at the main branch of Hyundai Department Store in Apgujeong-dong, southern Seoul. Students who participate in the program are given college credit. [YONHAP]

To cater to this demographic, local department stores have even developed manuals on how to deal with customers as well as on how to prevent potential complaints. The manual, for instance, stipulates that clerks should always greet and see off customers at the entrance of the shop and says they should apologize if they are busy and have to keep a customer waiting.

Some department stores such as Hyundai have undercover inspectors who monitor clerks to see how well they are following these guidelines. Shinsegae earlier this year launched a campaign called “smile marketing,” in which company executives make rounds to see if clerks are smiling enough. Workers who don’t smile while dealing with customers are given bad marks in their performance eval‎uations.

However, Korean retailers’ focus on customer satisfaction has had another serious side effect: spoiled customers. Some customers who oversubscribe to “the customer is the king” motto sometimes initiate arguments about things that are obviously their fault or treat store clerks poorly, at times even verbally and physically attacking them.

The problem is perpetuated as retailers justify these incidents by sticking to their “the customer is always right” rule and forcing employees to apologize first, regardless of their actual guilt. Various retailers in Korea keep a blacklist of customers with bad behavior, but the employee’s only course of action is to be more cautious and kind.

“Many people assume that store clerks should be immensely stressed from having to deal with malicious customers. But in reality a major portion of their stress comes from the attitude of their employers, who often have little consideration for their workers’ feelings,” says Jung Min-jung, general director of the Korean Federation of Service Workers Union.

The Ministry of Patriots & Veterans Affairs distributed mirrors to civil servants to help them practice their smiles. By Choi Seung-shik

Experts say employers should open their eyes to the importance of the “emotional labor” done by its workers. Arlie Hochschild, professor of sociology at the University of California, Berkeley, developed the term in early 1983 in her book “The Managed Heart: The Commercialization of Human Feeling.” She defines the phrase as a “management of feeling to create a publicly facial and bodily display” and a detachment from self to fulfill the requirements of a job, regardless of whether the work is compatible with one’s internal feelings. In the book she uses flight attendants as an example, since airlines also promote customer satisfaction.

Kim Jong-jin, researcher at the Korea Labor & Society Institute, says management strategies for the service industry here fall behind those of other advanced economies.

“The recent effort to raise the quality of service in department stores, discount chains, hospitals, hotels and restaurants has certainly borne fruit,” he said. “But many companies still believe they can minimize labor costs while demanding a maximized level of service from their employees. Employers and customers should treat service workers as equal human beings.”

Because it is difficult for employees to demand improvements in the workplace, he recommended that consumers could be the first to request the change.

A good example of customer-led reform is the service policy implemented at family restaurant chains such as Bennigan’s and TGIF in Korea in the 1990s. Under the policy, servers were instructed to kneel down when taking customer orders in order to maintain eye-contact, but increasingly negative feedback from customers, who felt it put the server in a humiliating position, led to the policy’s demise two years ago.

Professor Yi of Seoul National University says some service providers are starting to consider their workers as “internal customers.” For example, Shinhan Bank, the nation’s second-largest lender, launched an employee satisfaction center in late 2008. There, its employees, and tellers in particular, can receive stress management and mental therapy. Many employees have actively taken advantage of the service, a bank spokesman said. “We believe that only when our workers are satisfied with the workplace can they provide satisfactory service to customers,” he said.

Creating a quality workplace environment for people in the service industry will be a win-win strategy for both the companies and the employees in the long term, Kim says. Humane treatment of workers will foster their devotion to the company, thus extending the period of their skilled service and eventually boosting profits.

By Seo Ji-eun [spring@joongang.co.kr]

 *Source: http://joongangdaily.joins.com/article/view.asp?aid=2922413

Q.

1. What do you think about the service? It’s too much?

2. Which business really needs best service?

3. Do you remember really fantastic services? Where it is?

4. How about the opposite case? bad service!

지나친 친절을 베푸는 부담시러운 서비스에 관한 토픽입니다.

평소에 어디에 가면 부담스런 서비스를 겪게 되는데요.

은행에 갔는데 AMT기계앞에 누가 계속 인사하는 그런 서비스는 굳이 필요하지 않다 생각합니다.

이러한 서비스들에 관하여 이야기해봅사 하고 요 토픽을 올렸습니다.

[Stylish(진화)]

우리의 멋진두가 바쁜가 봅니다. 담주에 멋진 타픽 기대하믄서~ 이번주도 잼나게 고고씽 ~

[Doo ^^]

뭐 바쁘다기 보다 더위를 먹었나. 아무 생각이 없었다는...ㅋㅋ 운영자님께서 손수 이렇게 올려주시니 편하네요 .^^

[Gina(진아)]

오우. 스탈.. 땡큐.ㅎㅎ 근데, 요 위에.. AMT가 아니고, ATM아이가?...ㅎㅎ 암튼.. 당근.. 참석합니다.^^/

[Stylish(진화)]

가장 최신에 나온거여 ~~ ^ㅇ^~~~

[Teddy~*]

와우~ 생활속의 토픽이네~ 호호 공부 열심히 하세요~ 담주에 봐요~ ^0^

[Stylish(진화)]

요새자꾸 빠지셔~~ ^ㅇ^~~

[Jean]

As usual, 정참요^^

[Stylish(진화)]

상큼이 진~~ 항상 감솨~~ ^ㅇ^~~~

[kuks]

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 쿡스 리얼리 정참 이요 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[Stylish(진화)]

멋진 쿡스 오랜만인걸~~ ^^

[제인]

정참이요~~^^

[Stylish(진화)]

고고씽 ^ㅇ^~

[Mary(미례)]

ㅎㅎ 저도 정시참석합니다

[Stylish(진화)]

스피드 퀴즈 퀸~ 좋아요~ 고고고^ㅇ^~~~

[honeybee74]

...개도 안걸리는 감기를 며칠간....난 개보다 못한 가벼... 그려도 낼 참석...감기 바이러스 퍼트리러..ㅋㅋ

[Stylish(진화)]

내일 방독면 챙겨가야지 야호 ~^x^~~~~~~~~~ㅋㅋ

[mrjohntower]

How to reject someone?? Wow guys, that's a funny topic. . . . . Remember this motto -- Honesty is the best policy -- well almost always. Enjoy your gathering and discussion.

[Stylish(진화)]

I'm very pleased to hear your opinion. " Honesty is the best policy" Great~~ Come back to Korea 얼릉~!! ^ㅇ^~

[Joe(조형섭)]

지참 할듯하네요.. 근무라서.. ㅋㅋ

[Stylish(진화)]

형섭씨~ 좀다봐잉~ ^^

[kaiㆀ]

회사 마치고 바로 갈듯 ~ ㅋ

[Stylish(진화)]

고고씽~ ^ㅇ^~

[김민준]

참석 할께요 공부는 못하고 가네용 ^^;;

[Stylish(진화)]

멋쟁이 준~ 자주봐용~ ^ㅇ^~