Crunch sound
Dear Annie: I was raised not to make noise when I eat. I don't smack, crunch or chew with my mouth open.
I realize some foods make noise, like crackers or cucumbers, but in my group of friends, there is a woman who crunches the ice in her drink. This is like nails on a blackboard to the rest of us. The subject has been brought to her attention, but she told us in no uncertain terms that she liked to crunch ice and doesn't plan to stop.
We realize this is not an earthshaking problem, just an annoying one. Now what do we do, other than dissolve the group get-together, which we really don't want to do? Ear plugs? -- Deafened in South Carolina
Dear S.C.: Your friend may have an iron deficiency. One of the symptoms is the desire to crunch ice. Really. Tell her you are worried about her health and suggest she talk to her doctor. Beyond that, there's not much you can do to dissuade her from crunching. If she is too inconsiderate to stop when asked, you might want to avoid including her in these outings.
Dear Annie: I have been married for 25 years and love my husband dearly. Three months ago, "Nelson" was offered a good job in Maryland. However, it meant we had to move five hours from my children and grandchildren, and it is tearing me apart. I thought I would be able to handle the distance, but I can't.
My daughter is now separated from her husband, and I feel I should be there for her and the children. My husband has said that if I am so unhappy, he will give up the job and we will move back. But, Annie, I know that he is enjoying his new position, and I don't want to make him move.
I am depressed. I cry a lot. I have gotten a job in a large office, but I still am lonely for my family and friends. I said I would give it a year, but it is so much harder than I thought. Please tell me what to do. -- My Heart is in New York
Dear N.Y.: Of course it's hard to move away from the home you've known and the family you cherish. Moving is highly stressful under the best of circumstances. However, you need to give Maryland more of a chance.
Maryland is not that far away from New York. Can you save up mileage so you can visit your daughter perhaps one weekend a month (more often if you can afford it)? Have you joined a church or synagogue where you can become involved in its activities? Does your new apartment, condo or neighborhood have a social committee? These efforts will provide a distraction from your unhappiness and allow you to make new friends. Please hang in there a little longer before giving up.