끝까지 가는 결혼생활의 12가지 비결(12 Ways to Make Your Marriage Last)

[해송]

Living with other people presents difficulties for most of us. Families can be unrelentingly hard, and many people relish being single and free. But at some point, we see that this freedom isn't what it appears to be, and decide to marry, or we simply fall in love. At the beginning we are courteous, but over time, familiarity diminishes the niceties, and we start to annoy each other with careless words and actions. In many cases, familiarity indeed breeds contempt. To avoid this disaster, why don't you:

1.If it's not possible to spend much of every day together, you can make sure you share the same room at night. That way, however you think of your day, it will always be contextualized by your relationship, giving your life structure and support.

2. When my wife makes me a cup of tea, I always make a point of thanking her, which she waves away. But she always smiles, because she knows I appreciate her kindness. Then when I make her her morning coffee, the same thing happens - she thanks me and I say, "it's nothing". But I really love to hear her thank me and see her smile, knowing she knows I love her.

3. The principle benefit of being in a relationship is having someone to support you. When single, loneliness can take its toll - if you are feeling beaten down by life, by people, or events, it's much harder to resist alone. But with a friendly hug and some loving words we can feel strong enough to face up to harsh problems.

4. Misunderstandings can be destructive in any relationship, and one way of causing them is through dishonesty. Do you fail to ask your partner something because you think they'll refuse? Is it fair to resent them when they've done nothing? It would be much better if you just stated what you want to do.

5. Either you trust your partner, or you don't. And mistrust could be the death knell of your relationship. If you don't trust them to do the right thing, you may be giving yourself permission to do the wrong thing too, which is dangerous. But if you trust them to do the right thing, they will certainly try to.

6.How can you start the next day fully in love if you can't end the day right? Think of why you love your partner before you go to bed. Tell them you love them, and make contact - a kiss, a hug, whatever works for you.

7. Most friendships form out of a shared sense of humor. The same will also keep a relationship strong. So, always find some way you can enjoy the same thing and you will bind yourself ever closer.

8. Giving your partner the courage to try things helps free them from negativity. We all have doubts about ourselves, so it's our responsibility to help others overcome them. Do this and you will feel the positivity return straight back to you.

9. Whatever choice your partner has made, it was still their choice. If you condemn them they will retreat. But if you offer them understanding, they will appreciate you and remain close.

10.You don't have to go bungee-jumping to try something for the first time together. Take a class, start a new hobby, go to a new place, cook together - whatever you can think of. It's not the activity that matters, but the company you keep. If you fancy doing something in particular, invite your partner to join in. Chances are they will say yes.

11. Often we think doing what we want and doing what they want is an either-or situation. But, as in business, by negotiating we can find a satisfying solution. Tell your partner, "we can do what you want now if we do what I want next time". How could they possibly disagree?

12. Though a well-known cliche, forgive and forget is one that is easier to say than to practice. If your spouse has said or done something to upset you, no matter how small it may be, take the time to handle your negative emotions responsibly. This will prevent you from saying things you'll regret in the long term. Furthermore, bear in mind that your relationship is your primary concern. You may have some issues to sort out, but remember that loving one another often means learning to forgive and let go.