Answer 6

[유진승]

Task paragraph
아시아와 이슬람 국가들은 서구와 군사적인 힘의 균형을 이룰 수 있는 지름길을 찾고 있다. 서구문명의 보편주의적 열망, 서구의 상대적인 힘의 감소, 그리고 다른 문명들의 자기문화에 대한 주장의 강화로 인해 서구와 다른 문명들 간에 어려운 관계가 필연적으로 야기된다.

Original text  
Asian and Islamic countries are looking for shortcuts to balance the West militarily. The universal aspirations of Western civilization, the declining relative power of the West, and the increasing cultural assertiveness of other civilizations ensure generally difficult relations between the West and the rest.
 

1. Asian and Islamic countries are looking for shortcuts to balance the West militarily.
아시아와 이슬람 국가들은 서구와 군사적인 힘의 균형을 이룰 수 있는 지름길을 찾고 있다.  

A. looking for 찾고 있다
Alternative: seeking 

B. shortcuts 지름길
Alternative: a shortcut, the shortcut >> the would impy that there is only one shortcut.    

C. balance (힘의) 균형을 이루다  
Error: equal

To balance (균형) means something more than to equal (대등), although they are very similar. It means to be able to keep the West from being more powerful than the others. 

A balance originally means a weight measuring device (저울). So with this word, think about putting two things of equal weight on both sides of the scale:

@ This year's profits will balance our previous losses. (Oxford) 이익과 손실의 무게가 같을 것이다 -> 상쇄할 것이다
@ Balance spicy dishes with mild ones. (Collins) 매운 반찬과 부드러운 반찬의 무게가 같게 놓으세요 -> 골고루 놓으세요.
@ Both countries have a vested interest in maintaining the balance of power. (Cambridge) 힘의 무게가 같게 유지하는 데 이해를 같이 한다.
 

2. The universal aspirations of Western civilization, the declining relative power of the West, and the increasing cultural assertiveness of other civilizations ensure generally difficult relations between the West and the rest.
서구문명의 보편주의적 열망, 서구의 상대적인 힘의 감소, 그리고 다른 문명들의 자기문화에 대한 주장의 강화로 인해 서구와 다른 문명들 간에 어려운 관계가 필연적으로 야기된다. 

A. aspirations 열망
Errors: desire, eagerness

Desire and eagerness are usually for personal things. Furthermore, eagerness often has a nuance that one is desperate or excited to get something:

@ eager crowds outside the stadium
@ She is eager for (= wants very much to get) her parents' approval.
@ I couldn't hide my eagerness to get back home. (Oxford)

Aspiration has a sense of ambition--the West has an ambition to become a universal power and culture. Desire or eagerness does not express this. Also, there is no sense of desperation or excitement in our text.

B. declining 감소
Alternatives: decreasing, diminishing  

C. assertiveness 주장  
Errors: assertion, pretensions (자부, ~인 체하기), emphasis (강조)

Assertion, although it also means 주장, is a statement (Do you have any evidence to support your assertions?, Oxford) or an act of stating (the assertion of his authority, Oxford). But in our text 주장 is not a statement or act but a general tendency or behavior of people.

D. cultural assertiveness 자기문화에 대한 주장

This is a very nice way of saying it. We had similar expressions before:

@ cultural assertiveness = assertiveness towards (their own) culture 
@ universal pretensions = pretensions of universality (보편성의 자부) (Answer 3/ 4-C)
@ universal aspiration = aspiration for universality (보편성에 대한 열망)  

E. increasing 강화
Error: reinforced, reinforcement

Although reinforcement fits the Korean word 강화, it doesn’t fit the English context here. If you reinforce something, you make it stronger by using some concrete means:

@ Eventually, they had to reinforce the walls with exterior beams. (Collins)

So reinforcing cultural assertiveness would imply that it is strengthened by some external force. But cultural assertiveness is something that grows on its own, in a long term, continuous process. So increasing expresses this better.  

F. STRUCTURE (Parallel construction): The universal aspirations..., the declining relative power..., and the increasing cultural assertiveness...  / ...보편주의적 열망, ... 상대적인 힘의 감소, 그리고 ...자기문화에 대한 주장의 강화

Many of you used long expressions here such as “aspiration of universalism” and “reinforcement of the assertions towards their cultures”. But note that Huntington consistently uses the more succinct and elegant form adjective+(adjective)+noun and achieves nice symmetry and parallel.   

Here again , we have a case where a predicate (술어) in Korean (감소, 강화) becomes a modifier in English (declining, increasing). So instead of copying the Korean structure, learn to use this natural English structure.  

@ ...non-Western peoples have increasing confidence in... (Answer 1/ 3-G)  ...비서구인들의 ...에 대한 자신감은 증가한다.  
@ More and more teenagers want to be financially independent from their parents.
Literal: 더 많은 십대들이 부모로부터 재정적 독립을 원하고 있다. (X)
Natural: 부모로부터 재정적 독립을 원하는 십대들이 늘어나고 있다. (O)

For more examples go to Answer 1/ 3-G.  

G. ensure 필연적으로 야기하다
Alternatives: inevitably cause, inevitably lead to  

H. generally

Here, generally does not seem to add much to the context and so was not translated in the Korean task paragraph. In other words, you can omit this and have pretty much the same content.   

I. difficult relations 어려운 관계
Alternative: a difficult relationship
Error: the difficult relationship, difficult relationship

For official or public relationships, use relations (always in plural), and for more personal relationships, use relationship (especially for love relationships):

@ Greece has established full diplomatic relations with Israel. (Collins)
@ The firm has excellent customer relations. (Oxford)
@ These attacks are certain to damage race relations in the area. (Longman)
@ Their affair did not develop into a lasting relationship. (Oxford) 둘이 사귀었지만 영구적 관계로 가지는 못했다
@ What kind of relationship did you have with your father? (Longman)

But the two words are not sharply distinguished, so in our text, it is OK to use relationship. But the relationship is wrong because the relationship is being mentioned for the first time (it is not a relationship that is known before), and relationship normally takes an indefinite article.  

J. the rest 다른 문명들

the rest = the rest of the civilizations = non-Western civilizations  

K. STRUCTURE (thing subject: 사물주어): aspirations..., power..., and assertiveness... ensure ... difficult relations...
열망… 감소... 강화로 인해 ... 어려운 관계가 필연적으로 야기된다.

[유진승]

New members, sorry for the late posting. Please feel free to ask any questions if there is any problem, OK? In fact I am hoping some people ask some questions, just to keep me from getting bored.

[나는어디로]

hmm.Thanks for the answer.I was look forward this.^^; I'm just pleased that What I chose,aspiration,is right. I was really confused between desire and aspiration though I looked them up in the E-E dictionary. In the original paragraph ,it uses "are looking for" and 'assertiveness',compared to I

[나는어디로]

used "are seeking for" and 'assertion'.Is there any difference? and I hope you will comment on my BTE6 work. I'd like to know what is wrong in my work specifically. I've just leaved through the original paragraph.because today is my 21th birthday and I'm going out soon.I think there will be more

[나는어디로]

questions after I read it totally.

[유진승]

Thank you very much for your question. Is the Answer clear and easy to understand?

[유진승]

I have revised the Answer to address your questions on "seek" and "assertion". "Seek" is a good alternative, and sorry for missing that in my answer. Concerning your BTE work, I generally do not give individual comments on BTE works, unless there is some serious problem. Your work is free from any

[유진승]

serious flaw. So try to find answer from the original text and my explanations. If you still have a problem, then you can post a question about it.

[유진승]

Also, happy birthday! You are now 21. You've just started your real life!

[나는어디로]

Thanks a lot.Thank you for your kind and specific answer.