Audition
A nineteen year old guy who was obsessed with becoming famous took a initiated step turning into crack cocaine addiction. He wanted to study arts ,especially for acting at the college. Instead , he worked for his father's company which built houses as a laborer earning eight dollars an hour, six days a week. No workers knew he was the owner's son. When he was fifteen , he studied acting as extracurricular activity on Sunday. When his father realized his son was serious to be a movie star rather than becoming the real estate business man who would inherit his three divisions and a ten story building in downtown, he stopped him pursuing his wishful thinking. However, his passion for being a famous actor could never diminish. " The more I dreamed, the more vivid the dream seemed to be---- my destiny." Tactically, in the self–study of acting, every space around him turned to be the stage in his mind no matter where he was. Consequently, he became either an actor or an audience under the circumstances. "Where did you draw from to create the character? The critics would ask me. Why, from real life, I would say.“
There was an audition. The teacher who had taught him the play in the middle school called him to come for an audition since he had made a plan to direct the play which would be performed at the Apple Tree Theater. "But that my teacher had thought me out after all these years was a sign that I was truly talented, that the hope I had been harboring was not false." The audition gave him a chance to reflect himself in the mirror of reality. He could perceive the difference between what he thought about himself and what the others thought about his talent. "I understood at once that I was not talented, had never been talented." " That being cast in a role with zero lines was not a step toward fame but step into obscurity." He acknowledged the audition made it clear that his dream shattered, his hope turned to be hopeless.
What he needed was heartwarming consolation desperately. Unfortunately, there was no one around him to soothe him. However he made a friend very recently. His name was Duncan, the same age man, working together at the construction site, seemingly a crack cocaine addict. When his car broke down after the day's work, he had no choice but giving him a lift unwillingly. Duncan introduced him crack cocaine in his basement. Although he tried it with curiosity for the first time in his life, he could not feel euphoria. However, since Duncan welcomed him wholeheartedly, he could feel friendship with the guy for the first time. After the audition, he was waiting for his invitation sincerely. It was not soon but the car broke down again. He could feel not only euphoria but self-inspiration in his basement this time. In the bonus, he could regain his dream and hope in delusion. "This is the last time I'm doing this, I said to myself even as I knew that saying so implied its inverse.“
It's sad to watch the promising young man fall apart. If he had someone who could give him a heartwarming advice, he would grab an opportunity to avoid crack cocaine. He seemed to be a casualty of loneliness. Passion for recognition from others must be a fundamental human nature. Being a famous star would be more than magnificent but how? "It's easier for a camel to go through the eye of needle." Not only the young man but the numerous youngsters pursuing fame would fall into the same trap.
WRITTEN BY SAID SAYRAFIEZADEH: OCTOBER 16 2020 CHI B KANG.