Re: Max and Ruby Sofia jo

[Teacher Winget]

The title of this book is "Max and Ruby’s Perfect Pumpkin."

One day a Halloween on Halloween, they made perfect Halloween pumpkin tried to make the perfect Halloween pumpkin,

but the pumpkin is not good at made it didn’t turn out well.

So they find looked for the perfect pumpkin.

their friends find it Their friends found one, and they found it were happy.

So they decorated it.

I think this story is so fun.

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Score: B

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Tips):

1. 문법 및 표현 수정:

   • "One day a Halloween" → "One day on Halloween" (전치사 수정)
   • "made perfect Halloween pumpkin" → "tried to make the perfect Halloween pumpkin" (문법과 자연스러운 표현 수정)
   • "is not good at made it" → "didn't turn out well" (더 자연스러운 표현)
   • "find" → "looked for" (과거형 사용)
   • "their friends find it" → "Their friends found one" (과거형과 자연스러운 문장 구조)
   • "found it" → "were happy" (반복 제거와 감정 추가)

2. 내용 추가 추천:

   • Max와 Ruby가 호박을 어떻게 꾸몄는지 자세히 설명하면 더 재미있습니다.
   • 친구들이 호박을 찾을 때 어떤 일이 있었는지 추가하면 이야기가 풍부해집니다.