Re: Max and Ruby : Ethan

[Teacher Winget]

The title of this story is "Max and Ruby: Max & Ruby's Perfect Pumpkin."

One day, Max and Ruby went to Mr. Piazza's to find the perfect pumpkin.

So Mr. Piazza showed them many pumpkins, but Max wanted to eat candies.

While they were choosing a pumkin pumpkin, Valerie took a good pumpkin.

But Max attemped attempted to eat candies on from the Jack-o'-lantern.

Then, Mr. Huffington took a big pumpkin.

Max used a bow to drop many a lot of cans, so they cleaned up the cans, but all the pumpkins were sold out.

Finally, Max used a drone to find a new pumpkin.

I think this story is interesting because Max's movements were funny.

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Score: A-

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Tips):

1. 문법 및 표현 수정:

   • "So Mr. Piazza show" → "Mr. Piazza showed them" (과거형 및 올바른 표현)
   • "pumkin" → "pumpkin" (철자 수정)
   • "attemped" → "attempted" (철자 수정)
   • "on the Jack O Lanton" → "from the Jack-o'-lantern" (올바른 철자 및 전치사 수정)
   • "used bow" → "used a bow" (관사 추가)
   • "many cans" → "a lot of cans" (더 자연스러운 표현)
   • "pumpkins were sold out" → "all the pumpkins were sold out" (더 자연스러운 문장 구조)
   • "used drone" → "used a drone" (관사 추가)
   • "Max's movement was funny" → "Max's movements were funny" (더 자연스러운 표현)

2. 추가 내용 추천:

   • Max가 찾은 새로운 호박이 어떤 모습이었는지 추가하면 이야기가 더 풍부해집니다.
   • 마지막에 Ruby와 Max가 어떻게 반응했는지 적으면 더 흥미로운 결말이 됩니다.