Radical Surrender: One Foot in Front of the Other
AMY E. FORD
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“LORD, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps.” Jeremiah 10:23 (NIV)
She stood in front of the church, holding on to her two babies for
dear life. It was supposed to be one of the most beautiful moments of
her life. But it was the most beautifully terrible moment she could ever
imagine.
My friend Rachel ached to be a mother. Having suffered two
devastating, later-term miscarriages, she walked this world heavy with
grief. When the state caseworker asked to place infant siblings with
her, she believed God was replacing her load with joy. God had seen her,
and He had redeemed her pain with these two precious children.
She completely reorganized her life to parent them. She quit her job.
She decorated their nurseries. She battled fatigue and met the needs of
two babies that had experienced more trauma in their short little lives
than Rachel ever had.
For two years, it looked like she would get to be their mother
permanently, as it seemed unlikely their birth mother would regain
custody. Rachel and her husband were the first choice as an adoptive
family. They were so close to having the family they had dreamed of,
until the caseworker called and said they were returning to court.
“The birth mother has sustained sobriety and wants her kids back.
Her attorney is fighting for it, and the judge is favorable. You should
prepare yourselves that the children will be returned home.”
Home? Weren’t these children already home? Wasn’t she the one who had
snuggled them, fed them … a stable, nurturing woman who would raise
them in the ways of Jesus?
Wasn’t she their mother?
And so she stood in front of the congregation that day, holding her
babies. A day so bright, so hopeful, but so awful. Because it was
Mother’s Day, and Rachel and her husband were dedicating these children
to God as their parents — knowing that within the week, the caseworker would come to take them away.
Rachel knew it wasn’t for her to determine the steps of her children. But she also knew it wasn’t the caseworker’s path either.
As Jeremiah 10:23 says, “LORD, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps.” It was for God to direct her children’s path.
Rachel and her husband became forever parents to their children the
minute they accepted the assignment from the Lord to parent them. But
they also knew their children weren’t theirs but rather God’s. So they
dedicated them back to God, even though their hearts were breaking. Even
though they couldn’t see the end of their family’s journey.
What an incredible act of faith.
What an incredible act of surrender.
Have you ever had to radically surrender your children to the Lord?
Perhaps there was a scary diagnosis. You could be a frustrated
stepparent, or perhaps there’s been a long season of miscommunication
with a child. As Christian parents, sometimes we’re afraid to be
completely vulnerable about our fear and pain when it comes to our
children.
Sometimes it’s even harder to acknowledge that it’s really up to God to direct our child’s next steps.
As parents, we all experience times of frustration, confusion and
loss. But if we can trust that there is Something Bigger guiding the
way, we can do amazingly tough things. Because then it isn’t up to us.
It’s up to Him.
And what incredible hope we have in that surrender. What incredible
hope we have for the journey ahead. We can trust that He is leading us
somewhere good, even in our moments of deepest ache and loss.
Lord, I’m so thankful that You are the Something Bigger who gives
me the grace and strength to face hard times as a parent. I trust in
Your overwhelming love for me and my children. I trust in You to direct
our next steps. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.