Why are we jealous at all? Beyond the remnant of primal instinct, does it serve a purpose? Children don't know fear or jeal- ousy at birth. It is learned in the first 2-3 years of life and then manifests itself after age 4. It stands to reason then, since we've determined that jealousy is mostly about fear, that jealousy is also a learned response, something learned in the first, formative years of life. Well, it won't do us much good to delve into those first years to try and figure out the specific event that triggered it, because we're not likely to re- member that far back. The next best thing is to look at some of the sociological, familial and environmental factors that reinforce that behavior throughout our lives.
From a very young age, in our society, we are taught to compete. The child with better grades is praised, while lower grades are seen as evidence of laziness or a lack of intelligence and as such are abhorred; and so as siblings we learn to compare ourselves against our brothers and sisters. We learn to envy the praise they receive. If we are only children, we are taught to hold ourselves against classmates. The student with higher grades gets more accolades, more privileges, can be the valedictorian, on the National Honor Society and part of the exclusive clubs. This leads to greater acceptance and popularity. Popularity is something else. The boy with bigger muscles is deemed more attractive because he's powerful. The women want powerful. The girl who is thinner with bigger breasts is deemed more attractive, the other girls envy her figure and her physical attributes. We are taught these things from a young age.
More than being taught though, we come back to the very primal instincts that reinforce this. As a male, there are very clear mental and physical responses when attracted to a female. And the reverse is true as well. So, it can be fair to conclude that jealousy is about what we are taught and what we instinctively feel. Like my friend said, "My parents teaching me to feel bad about what I wanted in the first place." Also, society coaching us as to what is and is not acceptable in relationships. Who should we date, what kind of relationship will be accepted as "right for you"?
중략.............