How to ask your Boss for a salary increase?

One day a guy sent a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!
* * *
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $omething mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company .
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
- - - - - - -
The next day, he received this letter of reply ;
* * *
Oh my dear,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet .
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession.
After the NOvember Presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Boss
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