Psalms 78:1-8 Maschil of Asaph. Give ear, O my people, to my law: incline your ears to the words of my mouth. 2 I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: 3 Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. 4 We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. 5 For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: 6 That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: 7 That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: 8 And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God. Wouldn’t it be nice if children came with an operator’s manual or set of instructions? Well, they don’t. But then again, kind of they do. It is called the Bible and it has a lot to say about children. And that’s good! Especially since you will probably have your child at home with you full-time for at least 18 years and probably longer than that! I hate to break it to you parents, but your children’s upbringing - their mental, physical, emotional, and most importantly spiritual development - is fully and completely your responsibility. Your job is to do everything you can to prepare them for fruitful Christian adulthood. If you are anything like I was, you have certain ideas on how to raise children that you picked up from your own childhood. Sometimes that can be good. Sometimes, it can be a hindrance. But fret not! No matter how difficult you may think the task can be, God has not left us without guidance. We have some great principles in the Bible on how to raise children. If you follow the rules, you are promised better results. If you do a bad job, your children will most likely turn out bad. If you do a bad job and they still turn out good, that’s all God’s grace. You get no credit! Or, if you do a good job, your children will most likely turn out good. Now, you might still get a rebellious child but that’s their fault, not yours. That’s human will. But your job is not to produce a robot. It is to enable your child to be everything he or she can be for the LORD. Make no mistake parent. It is still your responsibility. It is not the church’s job. It is not your school district’s job. It is yours. The Bible makes this abundantly clear. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children… Psalm 78 is one of the longer chapters in the Bible. It is certainly one of the longest Psalms, although Psalm 119 is definitely longer. But looking at the psalm as a whole, the theme seems pretty clear - Children need to learn from their spiritual heritage. God instructed Israel to pass things on to the next generation. Psalms 78:5 For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: Deuteronomy 4:9 Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons; Deuteronomy 11:18-19 Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. 19 And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. If you take a close look at Israel’s history, you will discover that they were the strongest when they kept their heritage in view. Karl Marx, the father of Communism, enemy of the faith, is attributed with saying: “Take away the heritage of a people, and they are easily persuaded.” He was right. We can see it happening, not only in Israel, but in our own nation as well. Revisionist historians are putting a completely different slant on people and events that are almost shocking to me! What we have in Psalm 78 is an object lesson from the history of Ephraim. In this case, the young are to learn not to repeat the mistakes of the past. And according to verse 3, these aren’t new lessons for them either. The psalmist, Asaph, pointed out that the reason they knew these things is because they had been passed on by their fathers before them. Israel had a great tradition in how they taught their children. We have already read several passages that point this out. There were many things passed on by oral tradition. This is a great lesson for Christian parents today: 2 Timothy 2:2 And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also. Christian parents have tremendous responsibilities and opportunities in guiding children to the Lord. But what was it specifically that Asaph said should be taught? For one thing, we need to be sharing the mighty works of God. Israel has a history full of Gods mighty works. Beyond this, you and I have surely seen the mighty works of God in our own lives as well. We need to be sharing this personal testimony to the next generation. Some Christian parents think that just because they take their kids to church, they will assimilate their faith. I wish it worked that way but it doesn’t. What our children need to see in us is, not a case of religion, but a living and vibrant faith. They will see that in our actions and it will be confirmed by our testimony. Psalms 78:6-7 That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: 7 That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: So, according to Psalm 78:6-7, if we will teach our children properly, then they have a stronger tendency to:
- Be more knowledgable about God (78:6 - that the generation to come might know them. . .)
- Be more apt to pass on the things they have learned (78:6 - who should arise and declare them to their children)
- Be more apt to have a real living hope in God for themselves (78:7 - That they might set their hope in God)
- Be mindful of God’s works (78:7 - not forget the works of God)
- Be obedient to God’s commands (78:7 - keep his commandments)
I just want to show you some basic truths about children today. Most of is directed toward the interaction that parents need to have with their children:
- Bible Facts
- Biblical Goals
- Biblical Sources
- Biblical Application
Bible Facts First of all, children are from God. They are only on loan to you. Genesis 48:9 And Joseph said unto his father, They are my sons, whom God hath given me in this place. And he said, Bring them, I pray thee, unto me, and I will bless them. Psalms 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. Isaiah 8:18 Behold, I and the children whom the LORD hath given me are for signs and for wonders in Israel from the LORD of hosts, which dwelleth in mount Zion. Children may be a blessing to the parents, but make no mistake that they come with a responsibility too. That responsibility is to teach them: Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Parents also provide for the physical and emotional needs of a child as well: 2 Corinthians 12:14 …for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children. 1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. Parents are supposed to discipline their children. And frankly, I think this is where many parents make mistakes. Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Proverbs 23:13-14 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. As we have already pointed out, parents need to be teaching their children about God. And if I might add, this needs to be every day, all day, in very large doses! But it has to be a natural and normal part of life - not just something we do for a few minutes in the evening. Kids pick up on hypocrisy really quickly!
Biblical Goals Let me give you seven biblical goals to help your children. I know every parent wants their child to be a fruitful adult. So let me be practical here:
- Teach your child about salvation as early as possible. You can’t save them but you can certainly begin planting and watering the seed in their little hearts!
- Teach your children about repentance - not just what is wrong, but why it is wrong. Later, when they begin to realize they are sinners, they won’t struggle with repentance.
- Teach them the key to happiness in life is a focus on God.
Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Psalms 128:1-2 Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways. 2 For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. 1 Timothy 6:6-10 But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. 9 But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. John 15:10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.
- Teach them to respect authority - parental, political, and spiritual. And by the way, make sure you are leading by example.
- Teach your child to enjoy life, not to become a slave to it.
1 Timothy 6:17 Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;
- Teach your children how to avoid sin by avoiding situations or relationships that may lead them the wrong way. This will become especially crucial the older they get.
- Teach them balance - that the Christian life is not all about dos and don’ts but how we love as well.
Listen parents, none of us are able to provide exactly the same things for our children. Some can help their children more financially later in life. Some cannot. But what is most important is to teach them how to find their satisfaction in the LORD and that is something all of us can do. While we want them to know how to acquire a skill, get a good job, and so on, if we really want our kids to have a happy life, we need to teach them what brings true contentment.
Biblical Sources So, right now, you are wondering, “How am I going to do all that?” Relax! God has provided help for you so that you won’t be overwhelmed by the near-impossible task! Most of us learn pretty quickly how to call our parents when we have no idea what to do with our newborns! So grandparents are always a good source of information and help in many other ways! Free babysitting, candy, toys! Unsolicited advice in many areas! We are really good at these things! But there are other God-ordained helps as well. The church is God’s plan for family worship and godly advice from leadership. Your child’s education in every area is the parent’s responsibility. But sometimes a parent is simply not able to cover all the academic bases. In cases like this, there are Christian schools or other believers who can help. There are special programs that can help in any subject you can imagine. Some parents homeschool their children and there is certainly nothing wrong with that!
Biblical Application There are so many aspects to raising healthy children that it is very difficult to keep everything in balance. And trust me when I tell you this - you will have days when you fail miserably at parenting. But that’s to be expected. There has only been one perfect parent and that is God our Father. So don’t be too hard on yourself if you make a mistake. One the other hand, there has only been one perfect child and that is the Lord Jesus Christ. So don’t take it too hard when your kids make mistakes! But there are some very basic mistakes that many parents make and the end result is that their children and their sanity suffer from it. Let me give you 20 points to help your child grow:
- When you detect a certain undesirable trait (sinful or otherwise) in your child, if you don’t help them fix it, it most likely will never get fixed!
- If you give up or give in while trying to help your child, who will ultimately pay the price? The child.
- If you have unrealistic values for your child - whether in education or in action - they will become discouraged and either quit or rebel.
- On the other hand, if you don’t give your children boundaries, they will never learn to operate within the rules of society, the home, and so on. They will not be able to handle the pressure of rules if you don’t teach them.
- Don’t fight with your children over anything. You are the parent. You are right. In those times when you might be wrong, see rule number 1. They need to learn to submit to authority.
- Lead by example. If you don’t handle life biblically, don’t be surprised when your children do the same. Don’t just tell them what to do. Show them!
- Don’t treat your child like a snowflake. Life is pain. If they never learn how to handle difficulties while they are sheltered at home, what will they do when they are on their own?
- Show them how to love. If you don’t teach them what true biblical love is, the world will tell them what love really isn’t.
- If you know your child has a certain talent, help them develop it. God gave it to them for a reason. You might not know what that reason is but God plans to use it.
- If you have more than one child, understand that each child is different. They have different needs and different bends in their character. And by the way, this changes through life!
- Let your kids make mistakes. But be wise enough not to let them make life-changing mistakes! It is all a part of growing.
- Listen. No, really. Listen. If you don’t, someone else will, and their motives will not be as noble as yours.
- Don’t give them everything they want. It's important to teach children the value of working for the things they want, not simply being handed them.
- On the other hand, give them everything they need. Sometimes what they need is not what they want.
- Keep your word. If you make a promise, honor it. If you say your are going to do something do it. This is also true in the area of discipline.
- There are many areas where a parent can compromise with a child. But there can be no compromise on moral standards. You didn’t write those. God did.
- Support your child’s other authorities - especially their teachers. I know there can be bad ones but most of them really are trying to help!
- Keep an open door. Your children need to know they are more important to you than whatever else you are doing.
- Give them responsibilities and hold them accountable when they don’t meet them. Maybe a chose. Maybe a pet. Something! They need to know that society will not coddle them. It will fire them.
- Help your kids identify what triggers their emotions and teach them how to self-regulate. Uncontrolled hearts will lead to unguided actions.
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