PART 2 // chapter 1-5

[모나리자]

그는 점차 자신감을 되찾기 시작했고, 용기를 내고 침착함을 유지하라고 계속 자신에게 촉구했습니다. "어리석은 짓, 사소한 부주의, 그리고 내가 스스로를 배신할지도 몰라! 음... 이곳에 공기가 없어서 안타깝구나." 그는 덧붙여 말했습니다. "숨 막히네... 머리가 그 어느 때보다 어지러워지고... 마음도..." 그는 끔찍한 내면의 혼란을 의식했습니다. 그는 자제력을 잃을까 두려웠습니다. 그는 무언가를 붙잡고 마음을 고정하려고 했습니다. 전혀 중요하지 않은 무언가였지만, 그는 전혀 성공할 수 없었습니다. 그러나 수석 서기는 그에게 큰 흥미를 주었고, 그는 그를 꿰뚫어보고 그의 얼굴에서 무언가를 추측하기를 계속 바랐습니다.

그는 매우 젊은 남자였고, 스물두 살 정도였고, 나이보다 더 늙어 보이는 어둡고 움직이는 얼굴을 하고 있었습니다. 그는 유행에 맞게 차려입고 멋을 부리며, 머리를 가운데로 갈라 빗고, 잘 빗고, 포마드를 바르고, 깨끗이 닦은 손가락에 반지를 여러 개 끼고, 조끼에는 금 사슬을 달고 있었다. 그는 방에 있던 외국인에게 프랑스어로 몇 마디를 했고, 꽤 정확하게 말했다. "루이제 이바노브나, 앉으세요." 그는 화려하게 차려입고 보라색 얼굴을 한 여인에게 무심코 말했다. 그녀는 앉을 생각이 없는 듯 서 있었지만, 옆에 의자가 있었다. "Ich danke." 후자가 말했고, 그녀는 부드럽게, 실크처럼 바스락거리며 의자에 몸을 담갔다.

그녀의 하얀 레이스로 장식된 밝은 ​​파란색 드레스는 풍선처럼 테이블 위를 떠다니며 방의 거의 절반을 채웠다. 그녀에게서 향기가 났다. 하지만 그녀는 방의 절반을 채우고 향기가 너무 강해서 당황한 게 분명했다. 그녀의 미소는 뻔뻔스럽고 움츠러들었지만, 분명한 불안함을 드러냈다. 애도하는 여인이 마침내 일을 마치고 일어났다. 갑자기, 약간의 소음과 함께, 한 장교가 매우 쾌활하게 걸어 들어왔고, 매 걸음마다 어깨를 특이하게 흔들었다. 그는 모자를 탁자에 던지고 안락의자에 앉았다. 그 작은 여인은 그를 보고 자리에서 벌떡 일어나 일종의 황홀경에 빠져서 절을 했다.

하지만 장교는 그녀에게 조금도 관심을 두지 않았고, 그녀는 그의 면전에서 다시 앉으려고 하지 않았다. 그는 부경감이었다. 그는 얼굴 양쪽에 수평으로 튀어나온 붉은 콧수염과 극히 작은 얼굴을 가지고 있었고, 어떤 무례함 외에는 별로 표현하지 않는 듯했다. 그는 라스콜니코프를 곁눈질로 쳐다보고 오히려 분노했다. 그는 매우 형편없는 차림새였고, 굴욕적인 위치에도 불구하고, 그의 태도는 옷차림과 전혀 어울리지 않았다. 라스콜니코프는 무심코 그를 매우 길고 직접적으로 바라보았고, 그는 매우 모욕감을 느꼈다. "무엇을 원하십니까?" 그는 그렇게 초라한 사람이 그의 시선의 위엄에 의해 몰살되지 않은 것에 놀란 듯 소리쳤다. "저는... 통지서로 소환되었습니다..."

라스콜니코프는 머뭇거렸다.

"학생에게 미납된 돈을 회수하기 위해서요." 교장이 재빨리 끼어들어 서류에서 몸을 뗐다.

"여기요!" 그는 라스콜니코프에게 서류를 던지고 그 자리를 가리켰다. "저걸 읽어보세요!" "돈? 무슨 돈?" 라스콜니코프는 생각했다. "하지만... 그럼... 확실히 그게 아니네요." 그는 기쁨에 떨었다. 그는 갑자기 강렬하고 형언할 수 없는 안도감을 느꼈다. 그의 등에서 짐이 내려졌다.

"그리고 언제 나오라고 지시받았습니까, 선생님?" 부교장이 소리쳤다. 알 수 없는 이유로 점점 더 화가 난 듯했다. "9시에 오라고 했는데, 지금은 12시야!" "알림은 15분 전에 받았어." 라스콜니코프가 어깨 너머로 큰 소리로 대답했다. 놀랍게도 그도 갑자기 화가 났고, 그 안에서 어떤 즐거움을 발견했다. "그리고 내가 열병으로 여기 온 것만으로도 충분해." "소리치는 건 삼가해 줘!" "소리치는 게 아니라 아주 조용히 말하는 거야. 나한테 소리를 지르는 건 너야. 나는 학생이야. 아무도 나한테 소리를 지르지 못하게 해." 부교장은 너무 화가 나서 처음에는 제대로 된 말을 하지 못했다.

그는 자리에서 벌떡 일어났다. "조용히 해! 넌 관청에 있는 거야. 뻔뻔하게 굴지 마, 선생님!" "너도 관청에 있는 거야." 라스콜니코프가 소리쳤다. "그리고 담배도 피우고 소리도 지르고 있으니, 우리 모두에게 무례한 거야." 그는 이렇게 말한 데에 형언할 수 없는 만족감을 느꼈다. 서기는 미소를 지으며 그를 바라보았다. 화가 난 부감독은 분명히 당황한 듯했다. "그건 당신 일이 아니야!" 그는 마침내 비정상적으로 큰 소리로 소리쳤다. "당신에게 요구된 선언을 해. 보여줘.

알렉산드르 그리고리예비치. 당신에 대한 불만이 있어! 빚을 갚지 않아! 당신은 훌륭한 새야!" 하지만 라스콜니코프는 지금 듣지 않았다. 그는 서둘러 설명을 찾으려고 종이를 움켜쥐었다. 그는 한 번, 두 번 읽었지만 여전히 이해하지 못했다. "이게 뭔데?" 그는 서기장에게 물었다. "채무 불이행, 즉 명령서에 따라 돈을 회수하기 위한 거야. 모든 경비, 비용 등을 포함하여 지불하거나 지불할 수 있을 때 서면 선언을 하고 동시에 수도를 떠나지 않겠다는 서약서를 작성해야 해.

---------------------------------------------------

By degrees he began to regain confidence, he kept urging himself to have courage and be calm. “Some foolishness, some trifling carelessness, and I may betray myself! Hm... it’s a pity there’s no air here,” he added, “it’s stifling.... It makes one’s head dizzier than ever... and one’s mind too...” He was conscious of a terrible inner turmoil. He was afraid of losing his self-control; he tried to catch at something and fix his mind on it, something quite irrelevant, but he could not succeed in this at all. Yet the head clerk greatly interested him, he kept hoping to see through him and guess something from his face.

He was a very young man, about two and twenty, with a dark mobile face that looked older than his years. He was fashionably dressed and foppish, with his hair parted in the middle, well combed and pomaded, and wore a number of rings on his well-scrubbed fingers and a gold chain on his waistcoat. He said a couple of words in French to a foreigner who was in the room, and said them fairly correctly. “Luise Ivanovna, you can sit down,” he said casually to the gaily-dressed, purple-faced lady, who was still standing as though not venturing to sit down, though there was a chair beside her. “Ich danke,” said the latter, and softly, with a rustle of silk she sank into the chair.

Her light blue dress trimmed with white lace floated about the table like an air-balloon and filled almost half the room. She smelt of scent. But she was obviously embarrassed at filling half the room and smelling so strongly of scent; and though her smile was impudent as well as cringing, it betrayed evident uneasiness. The lady in mourning had done at last, and got up. All at once, with some noise, an officer walked in very jauntily, with a peculiar swing of his shoulders at each step. He tossed his cockaded cap on the table and sat down in an easy-chair. The small lady positively skipped from her seat on seeing him, and fell to curtsying in a sort of ecstasy;

but the officer took not the smallest notice of her, and she did not venture to sit down again in his presence. He was the assistant superintendent. He had a reddish moustache that stood out horizontally on each side of his face, and extremely small features, expressive of nothing much except a certain insolence. He looked askance and rather indignantly at Raskolnikov; he was so very badly dressed, and in spite of his humiliating position, his bearing was by no means in keeping with his clothes. Raskolnikov had unwarily fixed a very long and direct look on him, so that he felt positively affronted. “What do you want?” he shouted, apparently astonished that such a ragged fellow was not annihilated by the majesty of his glance. “I was summoned... by a notice...”

Raskolnikov faltered.

“For the recovery of money due, from the student,” the head clerk interfered hurriedly, tearing himself from his papers.

“Here!” and he flung Raskolnikov a document and pointed out the place. “Read that!” “Money? What money?” thought Raskolnikov, “but... then... it’s certainly not that.” And he trembled with joy. He felt sudden intense indescribable relief. A load was lifted from his back.

“And pray, what time were you directed to appear, sir?” shouted the assistant superintendent, seeming for some unknown reason more and more aggrieved. “You are told to come at nine, and now it’s twelve!” “The notice was only brought me a quarter of an hour ago,” Raskolnikov answered loudly over his shoulder. To his own surprise he, too, grew suddenly angry and found a certain pleasure in it. “And it’s enough that I have come here ill with fever.” “Kindly refrain from shouting!” “I’m not shouting, I’m speaking very quietly, it’s you who are shouting at me. I’m a student, and allow no one to shout at me.” The assistant superintendent was so furious that for the first minute he could only splutter inarticulately.

He leaped up from his seat. “Be silent! You are in a government office. Don’t be impudent, sir!” “You’re in a government office, too,” cried Raskolnikov, “and you’re smoking a cigarette as well as shouting, so you are showing disrespect to all of us.” He felt an indescribable satisfaction at having said this. The head clerk looked at him with a smile. The angry assistant superintendent was obviously disconcerted. “That’s not your business!” he shouted at last with unnatural loudness. “Kindly make the declaration demanded of you. Show him.

Alexandr Grigorievitch. There is a complaint against you! You don’t pay your debts! You’re a fine bird!” But Raskolnikov was not listening now; he had eagerly clutched at the paper, in haste to find an explanation. He read it once, and a second time, and still did not understand. “What is this?” he asked the head clerk. “It is for the recovery of money on an I O U, a writ. You must either pay it, with all expenses, costs and so on, or give a written declaration when you can pay it, and at the same time an undertaking not to leave the capital without payment, and nor to sell or conceal your property.

The creditor is at liberty to sell your property, and proceed against you according to the law.” “But I... am not in debt to anyone!” “That’s not our business. Here, an I O U for a hundred and fifteen roubles, legally attested, and due for payment, has been brought us for recovery, given by you to the widow of the assessor Zarnitsyn, nine months ago, and paid over by the widow Zarnitsyn to one Mr. Tchebarov. We therefore summon you, hereupon.”