Re: Max&Ruby (Bella 연지)

[Teacher1]

One day, it was snowing outside, so Max wanted to go outside.

But Ruby said, "It is snowing and blowing outside, so you must play inside."

And Ruby found a great game to play the great play with Max.

This game was This play is finger painting Fingers paint.

While Ruby was bringing brought the paper, Max painted the wall walls and drawers.

But when Ruby found his this pictures, Max wanted to go outside.

Then, Ruby said, "You can't play outside." "You don't play outside."

So, Ruby decided to play another other game.

While Ruby was bringing materials brought meterials, Max made a cobweb.

So, Max and Ruby had a tea party.

Then the snow stopped, but Max wanted to play inside.

Score: C+

Tips)

• wanted go → wanted to go: "wanted to"가 맞는 표현이에요.
• It was snowing and blowing → It is snowing and blowing: 현재 상황을 말하는 것이므로 현재형이 더 적절해요.
• the great play → a great game to play: 자연스럽게 수정.
• Fingers paint → finger painting: 올바른 표현으로 수정.
• brought → was bringing: 문맥상 진행형이 더 자연스러워요.
• wall papers → walls: "wallpapers"는 벽지의 뜻이라 "walls"로 수정.
• this pictures → his pictures: 의미를 더 명확하게 수정.
• You don't play outside → You can't play outside: 문법적으로 올바르게 수정.
• other game → another game: "another"가 더 적절한 표현.
• brought materials → was bringing materials: 진행형으로 수정.
• Max made cobweb → Max made a cobweb: "a cobweb"이 맞는 표현.
• wanted play → wanted to play: "wanted to"가 맞는 표현.