PART 2 // chapter 1-6

[모나리자]

"하지만 그녀는 내 집주인이에요!" "그리고 그녀가 당신의 집주인이라면요?" 수석 직원은 그를 얕잡아보는 동정의 미소와 동시에 처음으로 총격을 받는 신입 직원을 보는 듯한 승리감으로 바라보았다. 마치 "음, 지금은 기분이 어때요?"라고 말할 것 같았다. 하지만 지금 그는 I O U, 회복 영장에 대해 신경을 썼을까! 지금 걱정할 가치가 있었을까, 주의를 기울일 가치가 있었을까! 그는 서서 읽고, 듣고, 대답하고, 심지어 스스로에게 질문까지 했지만, 모두 기계적으로 이루어졌다.

압도적인 위험으로부터의 구원, 안전에 대한 승리감은 미래에 대한 생각 없이, 분석 없이,

가정이나 추측 없이, 의심 없이, 의문 없이 그 순간 그의 영혼 전체를 채웠다. 그것은 충만하고 직접적이며 순전히 본능적인 기쁨의 순간이었다. 하지만 바로 그 순간 사무실에서 폭풍우와 같은 일이 일어났다. 라스콜니코프의 무례함에 여전히 충격을 받은 조수 감독관은 여전히 ​​화가 나 있었고 상처받은 존엄성을 유지하고자 하는 것이 분명했으며, 그가 들어와서부터 어리석게 웃으며 그를 바라보고 있던 불행한 똑똑한 여인에게 달려들었다.

"당신은 부끄러운 창녀야!" 그는 갑자기 큰 소리로 소리쳤다. (애도하는 여인은 사무실을 나갔다.) "어젯밤 당신 집에서 무슨 일이 있었어? 에! 또다시 수치스러운 일이야, 당신은 온 거리에 스캔들이야. 또다시 싸우고 술을 마셔. 교도소에 가고 싶어? 왜, 나는 열 번이나 경고했어, 열한 번째 날에는 당신을 내버려 두지 않을 거라고! 그리고 여기 또, 또, 당신... 당신...!" 종이가 라스콜니코프의 손에서 떨어졌고, 그는 그렇게 무례하게 대우받는 똑똑한 여인을 사납게 바라보았다. 하지만 그는 곧 그것이 무슨 뜻인지 알았고, 즉시 그 스캔들에 긍정적인 즐거움을 느끼기 시작했다. 그는 즐겁게 경청했고, 그래서 그는 웃고 또 웃고 싶어졌다... 그의 모든 신경은 예민했다.

"일리아 페트로비치!" 수석 서기가 불안하게 말을 시작했지만, 갑자기 멈췄다. 그는 격노한 조수를 강제로만 멈출 수 있다는 것을 경험으로 알고 있었기 때문이다. 똑똑한 여인은 처음에는 폭풍 앞에서 몸을 떨었다. 하지만 이상하게도, 욕설이 더 많고 격렬해질수록, 그녀는 더 상냥해 보였고, 끔찍한 조수에게 더 매혹적으로 미소를 지었다. 그녀는 불안하게 움직였고, 끊임없이 절을 하며, 말을 할 기회를 참을성 없이 기다렸다. 그리고 마침내 그녀는 기회를 찾았다.

"저희 집에서는 소음이나 싸움이 전혀 없었어요, 선장님." 그녀는 완두콩이 떨어지는 것처럼 한꺼번에 재잘거렸고, 자신 있게 러시아어로 말했지만 강한 독일식 악센트가 있었다. "그리고 스캔들도 없었고, 그의 명예는 취해서 왔고, 제가 말하는 것은 전부 사실이에요, 선장님. 저는 비난받을 일이 없어요... 저는 명예로운 집안이에요, 선장님. 명예로운 행동이에요, 선장님. 저는 항상, 항상 스캔들을 싫어해요. 하지만 그는 꽤 취해서 와서 다시 세 병을 달라고 했고, 그러고 나서 한쪽 다리를 들어올리고 한 발로 피아노를 치기 시작했어요. 명예로운 집안에서는 전혀 옳지 않은 일이었고, 그는 피아노를 부수었어요. 정말 매우 나쁜 매너였고, 저는 그렇게 말했어요.

그리고 그는 병을 들고 모든 사람을 병으로 때리기 시작했어요. 그러고 나서 저는 짐꾼을 불렀고, 칼이 왔고, 그는 칼을 데려가 눈을 때렸어요. 그리고 그는 앙리에트의 눈도 때리고, 제 뺨을 다섯 번 때렸어요. 그리고 그것은 명예로운 집에서 너무나 신사답지 못한 짓이었습니다, 선장님, 그리고 저는 비명을 질렀습니다. 그리고 그는 운하 위의 창문을 열고 창문에 서서 작은 돼지처럼 꽥꽥거렸습니다. 그것은 수치스러운 일이었습니다.

거리로 창문에서 작은 돼지처럼 꽥꽥거리는 생각! 빌어먹을 놈아! 그리고 칼은 그의 코트를 잡고 그를 창문에서 떼어냈고, 사실입니다, 선장님, 그는 sein rock을 찢어버렸습니다. 그리고 그는 그 남자가 그에게 15루블의 손해배상을 해야 한다고 소리쳤습니다. 그리고 저는 그에게 sein rock에 대한 5루블을 지불했습니다, 선장님. 그리고 그는 신사답지 못한 방문객이고 모든 스캔들을 일으켰습니다. '내가 당신을 보여줄게요.' 그는 말했습니다. '당신에 대해 모든 신문에 쓸 수 있으니까요.'

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“But she is my landlady!” “And what if she is your landlady?” The head clerk looked at him with a condescending smile of compassion, and at the same time with a certain triumph, as at a novice under fire for the first time—as though he would say: “Well, how do you feel now?” But what did he care now for an I O U, for a writ of recovery! Was that worth worrying about now, was it worth attention even! He stood, he read, he listened, he answered, he even asked questions himself, but all mechanically.

The triumphant sense of security, of deliverance from overwhelming danger, that was what filled his whole soul that moment without thought for the future, without analysis,

without suppositions or surmises, without doubts and without questioning. It was an instant of full, direct, purely instinctive joy. But at that very moment something like a thunderstorm took place in the office. The assistant superintendent, still shaken by Raskolnikov’s disrespect, still fuming and obviously anxious to keep up his wounded dignity, pounced on the unfortunate smart lady, who had been gazing at him ever since he came in with an exceedingly silly smile.

“You shameful hussy!” he shouted suddenly at the top of his voice. (The lady in mourning had left the office.) “What was going on at your house last night? Eh! A disgrace again, you’re a scandal to the whole street. Fighting and drinking again. Do you want the house of correction? Why, I have warned you ten times over that I would not let you off the eleventh! And here you are again, again, you... you...!” The paper fell out of Raskolnikov’s hands, and he looked wildly at the smart lady who was so unceremoniously treated. But he soon saw what it meant, and at once began to find positive amusement in the scandal. He listened with pleasure, so that he longed to laugh and laugh... all his nerves were on edge.

“Ilya Petrovitch!” the head clerk was beginning anxiously, but stopped short, for he knew from experience that the enraged assistant could not be stopped except by force. As for the smart lady, at first she positively trembled before the storm. But, strange to say, the more numerous and violent the terms of abuse became, the more amiable she looked, and the more seductive the smiles she lavished on the terrible assistant. She moved uneasily, and curtsied incessantly, waiting impatiently for a chance of putting in her word: and at last she found it.

“There was no sort of noise or fighting in my house, Mr. Captain,” she pattered all at once, like peas dropping, speaking Russian confidently, though with a strong German accent, “and no sort of scandal, and his honour came drunk, and it’s the whole truth I am telling, Mr. Captain, and I am not to blame.... Mine is an honourable house, Mr. Captain, and honourable behaviour, Mr. Captain, and I always, always dislike any scandal myself. But he came quite tipsy, and asked for three bottles again, and then he lifted up one leg, and began playing the pianoforte with one foot, and that is not at all right in an honourable house, and he ganz broke the piano, and it was very bad manners indeed and I said so.

And he took up a bottle and began hitting everyone with it. And then I called the porter, and Karl came, and he took Karl and hit him in the eye; and he hit Henriette in the eye, too, and gave me five slaps on the cheek. And it was so ungentlemanly in an honourable house, Mr. Captain, and I screamed. And he opened the window over the canal, and stood in the window, squealing like a little pig; it was a disgrace.

The idea of squealing like a little pig at the window into the street! Fie upon him! And Karl pulled him away from the window by his coat, and it is true, Mr. Captain, he tore sein rock. And then he shouted that man muss pay him fifteen roubles damages. And I did pay him, Mr. Captain, five roubles for sein rock. And he is an ungentlemanly visitor and caused all the scandal. ‘I will show you up,’ he said, ‘for I can write to all the papers about you.’”