Re: Max and Ruby-Sofia Oh

[Teacher Winget]

The title of this cartoon is "Grandma's Berry Patch."

They went to Grandma's house and picked berrys berries. They had to pick raspberries, blackberries, and blueberries.

Max wanted to eat berries, but Ruby didn't allow didn’t let him. He ate berries secretly.

Max took Ruby's blueberries into his toy dump truck. Ruby knew noticed and took them back.

Ruby suggested that Max to play with the Rabbit Racer. He used the remote control and picked the blackberries.

But Ruby took it them all. Suddenly, Max put all the berries into his cement mixer and operated it.

So all the berries mushed got mushed. Ruby was disappointed, but Grandma said it was perfect.

After all, gramdma Grandma made them mush mashed berry smoothies.

When Max picked blackberries with his toy, I thought he is was clever.

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Score: A-

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Tips (수정 및 추가 내용)

1. 문법 및 표현 수정:

   • "berrys" → "berries" (올바른 복수형)
   • "didn't allow" → "didn’t let him" (more natural expression‎)
   • "knew" → "noticed" (더 정확한 표현: Ruby는 Max가 한 행동을 눈치챈 것이므로 '알았다'보다는 'noticed'가 더 적절함)
   • "suggested Max to play" → "suggested that Max play" (suggest는 'to 부정사'를 쓰지 않고 'that S V' 구조를 씀)
   • "it" → "them" (복수형인 blackberries를 받으려면 'them'이 맞음)
   • "mushed" → "got mushed" ('mush'는 동사가 아니라 명사/형용사로 사용되는 경우가 많음, 수동형으로 자연스럽게 변경)
   • "gramdma" → "Grandma" (철자 오류 수정)
   • "mush berry smoothies" → "mashed berry smoothies" ('mush'는 명사로 쓰면 부드러운 반죽 같은 느낌, 'mashed'가 더 자연스러움)
   • "is clever" → "was clever" (과거 시제 유지)

2. 추가 개선점:

   • "Rabbit Racer" (Max의 장난감 이름) → 더 정확하게 표현
   • "After all" → 문장 흐름을 더 자연스럽게 만들기 위해 사용