by admin | Feb 6, 2012 | Counseling Reflection | 0 comments A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
“The
rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering
whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do
this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you
loved someone, you will presently come to love him… There is, indeed,
one exception. If you do him a good turn, not to please God and obey the
law of charity, but to show him what a fine forgiving chap you are, and
to put him in your debt, and then sit down to wait for his ‘gratitude’,
you will probably be disappointed (p. 131).” Mere Christianity by C.S.
Lewis
This quote makes me a bit uncomfortable, although I have
trouble disagreeing with its general directive. The second half redeems
the first half, which could easily be taken for a “fake it until you
make it” methodology of self-manipulation to coerce unnatural emotions
or dispositions.
The second half of Lewis’ quote reveals that is
not what he is advising. Lewis is giving advice to the person who
sincerely wants to please God, but does not naturally desire to do a
particular thing that pleases God. The individual to whom Lewis is
speaking is keeping the First Great Commandment (love God) but is
struggling with the Second Great Commandment (love your neighbor).
Lewis
is saying that where there is a sincere love for God, then obedience
will shape our character to enjoy that obedience. The love for God in
our hearts will leap towards others when we love them; taking our heart
in which His love is encased with it. Where God’s love is truly present
it serves as a strong magnet drawing us towards others if we will move
towards them enough to feel its pull.
This is the reason for
Lewis’ “exception.” It is not the action of “loving as if you loved”
that produces genuine affection. It is the presence of God’s love in us
and our love for God getting close enough to another person to be
activated that produces change.
So the first question we must ask
ourselves in these moments is this, “Am I responding to social
pressure, a sense of duty, or a desire to honor God in this action in
which I am resistant but feel compelled to do?” Unless our answer is a
sincere desire to honor God, then Lewis’ advice is not for us—at the
very least it would have to be applied in a modified form.
If it
is not the desire to honor the God we love that compels us to love
others in unnatural ways, then there is no magnet in our heart. Hence,
no matter how close we get to them by serving them there will be no
“internal pull” to make unnatural actions feel natural.
So what
do we do then? We do everything Lewis has been talking about for 130
pages before this quote. We learn who God is. We fall in love with God.
We become convinced that there is no “life” (at least not one worth
living) apart from Him. We see who we are. We recognize the bent-ness of
our nature. We grow to trust God more than our natural instinct. Then
we are prepared to follow Lewis’ advice and can be confident in God’s
grace that it will work.
What if I don’t have that longing, know I
should “do what’s right,” but have the wrong motive? The previous
paragraph could take hours, weeks, or months and often we need to “do
what’s right” at a moment’s notice.
By God’s common grace, there
is still some effectiveness in Lewis’ advice even when our motives are
off. So love like God even when you’re not doing it for the love of God.
But make sure you’re not just “checking a box” or “quieting your
conscience.” Don’t be satisfied with fake it until you make it. Realize
even your “common sense” and conscience are calling you to imitate your
Creator. Make this a step in your journey to know Love Himself (I John
4:8), and not just a good deed.