Re: max and ruby (jonghyeon)

[Teacher1]

Max and Ruby's Perfect Pumpkin

Max and Ruby went to a Halloween shop to buy a perfect pumpkin.

Ruby started to choose a nice pumpkin,
but Max ran off.

While Ruby was chasing Max, her friend took the pumpkin that Ruby had chosen.

Max brought a wagon to carry the pumpkin.

Max tried to eat the decorations,
but Ruby stopped him.

In the meantime, Mr. Huffington brought the huge pumpkin that Ruby had chosen.

Max knocked over the can tower with a toy bow,
but the shop owner forgave them.

They rebuilt the can tower.

Meanwhile, all the pumpkins were sold out,
so they took the last pumpkin.

Score: B

Tips)

1. 문법: "holloween" → "Halloween" (올바른 철자예요!)
2. 문법: "and ruby's friend brought the pumpkin that ruby chose while ruby chased max." → "While Ruby was chasing Max, her friend took the pumpkin that Ruby had chosen." (과거 진행형과 had chosen을 써서 더 자연스럽게 고쳤어요.)
3. 문법: "and the shop owner forgive them." → "and the shop owner forgave them." (forgive의 과거형은 forgave예요.)
4. 문법: "and they brought just one left pumpkin." → "so they took the last pumpkin." (just one left pumpkin 대신 the last pumpkin이 더 자연스러워요.)
5. 내용: Max가 가게에서 장난을 친 이유나 Ruby가 어떤 기분이었는지 더 설명하면 이야기가 더 재미있어질 거예요! 😊