The married couple - one person out of two (Mark 10:1-12)

[Stephan Choe]

February 28, 2025

Key verses: 8-9 “And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Marriage is the most sacred union between a man and a woman. It is the core of the family, and the family is the core of society. Therefore, we should have a proper understanding of marriage in order to enjoy the blessedness of married life.

In this text, Jesus explains about the secret of happy married life. We want to accept his teaching from the heart and enjoy the blessedness of happy married life.

Jesus wanted to come from Galilee to Jerusalem to die there as the Passover lamb for our sin. This is why Mark describes Jesus' itinerary in verse 1:

“And he arose and came from there into the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan. And again the people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them again.”

So Jesus taught them God's word, as was his custom. He was always ready to teach people the word of God so that they could be set free from sin, find a clear direction in life and have eternal life.

While Jesus was teaching the crowds, Pharisees came to him and asked him whether a man was allowed to divorce his wife. They wanted to test him with this question in order to have a reason for the accusation.

If Jesus answered “no”, they could criticize him as a strict teacher. But if he answered “yes”, they wanted to call him a lawless, worldly teacher.

What did he answer them?

Verse 3 gives us Jesus' answer: “But he answered and said to them: What did Moses command you?”

At that time, “Moses” was understood to mean the five books of Moses, but in a broader sense the Old Testament.

With his question, Jesus wanted to say: “What does the Bible answer to your question?”

He wanted to help the Pharisees to understand God's word correctly.

The Pharisees replied: “Moses allowed a letter of divorce and to be divorced” (Deuteronomy 24:1).

The Pharisees mentioned the biblical passage, which apparently supported their own view on divorce.

The biblical passage the Pharisees mentioned is found in Deuteronomy 24:1:

“If anyone takes a wife in marriage, and she does not find favor in his sight, because he has found something shameful in her, and he writes a letter of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house.”

At that time, the Pharisees regarded this biblical passage as a license for divorce. They only argued about what was to be understood by the word “something shameful in her”, i.e. what could be sufficient grounds for divorce.

A respected rabbi named Shammai (mid 1st century BC to around 30 AD) taught that a man was allowed to divorce his wife if she had been unfaithful to him.

An equally respected rabbi named Hillel (born in the mid to late 1st century BC, died around 10 AD) was of the opinion that a man could dismiss his wife “if she burns the food”. He thus allowed divorce for practically any reason.

Another rabbi named Akiba (born around 50/55; died 135 AD) was of the opinion that a man could divorce his wife “if he found another woman more beautiful”.

Jesus explained why Moses had allowed divorce as follows: “For the hardness of your hearts he (i.e. Moses) has written you this commandment.”

Jesus gave the reason Moses had allowed the divorce: “Because of the hardness of their hearts”. This means that Moses had allowed the divorce because of their disobedience.

God had commanded: “You shall not commit adultery!” However, the men did not obey God, but arbitrarily expelled their wives and married other women. Moses wanted to bring their arbitrary, confusing divorce practices under control to some extent and protect divorced women. That is why he commanded them: A man may only send her away for shameful deeds, and he shall give her a bill of divorcement in the process, so that the rejected woman may marry another man. Moses had therefore given them this commandment, not to advocate divorce, but to put the brakes on divorce and provide some protection for the women who had been sent away. But the Pharisees interpreted this biblical passage as an endorsement of divorce.

Jesus then explained the correct teaching of the Bible: “But from the beginning of creation God created them male and female. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (6-8).

Jesus explained the divine truth about marriage and thus gave the right answer to the question of divorce. Jesus was saying that in order to find the right answer to the question of divorce, one must first perceive the divine view on marriage. Without the divine view of marriage, it is impossible to find the right answer to the question of divorce.

What is the divine view on marriage?

Jesus says in verse 6: “But from the beginning of creation God created them male and female.”

God is the creator of man and also of woman. Therefore, the life of a man and also the life of a woman belong to God. The true origin of much of man's unhappiness lies in the fact that man thinks that his life belongs to himself and acts according to his own will. But the Bible teaches us that our lives belong to God. We should therefore thank God sincerely for our lives and lead our lives with joy according to God's will. Acknowledging God as our Lord, thanking God and being obedient to Him is a blessed life. A grateful, obedient attitude towards God and His will is the best preparation for the foundation of marriage and the protection for a happy married life. An ungrateful, disobedient attitude towards God and his will, on the other hand, leads people to the misfortune of divorce.

Jesus has in verse 6 the sovereignty of God for our lives regarding marriage:

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will cleave to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” (verses 7+8).

Marriage therefore means “a man and a woman become one flesh”. The expression‎ “becoming one flesh” means that the husband and wife are united spiritually and physically in such a way that they are no longer two people, but one person. This means that a husband and his wife become so one that the couple has only one goal, one purpose, one heart and one mission. Because the two have become one person through marriage, the husband should love his wife as himself and the wife should love her husband in the same way.

Marriage therefore means “a man and a woman become one flesh”. The expression‎ “becoming one flesh” means that the husband and wife are united spiritually and physically in such a way that they are no longer two people, but one person. This means that a husband and his wife become so one that the couple has only one goal, one purpose, one heart and one mission. Because the two have become one person through marriage, the husband should love his wife as himself and the wife should love her husband in the same way.

Jesus concludes: “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.” (10).

Jesus emphasizes that God himself joins a man and a woman together in marriage, even though it seems that people decide to marry. God is the founder of marriage and also the Lord of the spouses. If people do not recognize God as the founder of their marriage and think that their will and feelings are the decisive factor, there is a danger of divorce, because the romantic feeling can disappear and his initial will can change. Today, many people think that divorce is okay if the person in question decides to divorce.

Because of the godless attitude, today's marriage is very easily fragile.

It is very important that married couples recognize God as the sovereign of their marriage and enter into marriage and lead their married life by the will of God. We should deeply accept Jesus' words “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder” and love his wife or husband as his body.

When Jesus and his disciples entered a house, the disciples asked him about marriage. Then Jesus said, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery against herself” (11-12).

Jesus teaches us that we should not worry about divorce. Rather, husband and wife should love each other as one person. When husband and wife love each other in this way, God rejoices and blesses the couple abundantly.

When a man and his wife have accepted the divine truth about marriage and live according to this truth, the thought of divorce does not even cross their minds. Rather, the couple can overcome all difficulties well and lead a happy married life and give glory to God. Amen!