페스트푸드 Chocolate cafe offers a fix, but at a price

[청석]

Step into my parlour: An overview of the Cafe. — VNS Photo Viet Thanh

Let me count the ways: Relish in the comfort of drinks, or simply dig right into the brownie. — Love Chocolate Cafe Photos

Love Chocolate Cafe

Address: 26 To Ngoc Van Rd, Tay Ho Dist, Ha Noi

Tel: 04-243 2120

Hours: 10am-7pm from Monday to Thursday

10am-9pm on Friday, Saturday

Price: Ranging from VND29,000 to VND120,000

Comment: In a word: decadence. An array of sinful chocolate desserts for all palates.

(27-07-2008)

Chocolate cafe offers a fix, but at a price

At the new Love Chocolate Cafe, Muna Khan ponders the futility of writing about what’s on the menu, then comes to her senses and orders more.

This week I am reviewing an eatery whose entire menu is chocolate. I feel the review is an exercise in futility; like a joke who’s punchline I’ve given away. Who amongst us is going to bother to read the rest of the review knowing that everything on offer at the Love Chocolate Cafe consists of the divine ingredient that makes people go weak at the knees. That can turn a crap day into a heavenly one?

I went to Love Chocolate Cafe, once again, on the trusted advice of the faceless – and imaginatively named – reviewers on the New Hanoian website. The reviewers were all gush about the relatively new cafe, as is won’t to happen when describing chocolate. "I will be back to eat my way through all the chocolate delights" wrote one reviewer. Another said "the product is out of this world, lip-lickingly lovely", while yet another wrote". the chocolate cake with cream cheese icing was out of this world". And if there’s still any doubt left, one reviewer said "the best chocolate chip cookies in Ha Noi".

If you’re not throwing down this paper and headed over to suburbia (aka West Lake where the cafe is ideally located to target the expat with the high salary) I’ve just lost a career in advertising or your taste buds are too organic for chocolate. Fair enough.

The cafe is obviously for chocoholics but it’s certainly not cheap. It’s akin to having a good quality dinner (minus the bottle of wine, or the glass of house wine). Three chocolate chip cookies for VND29,000 was the cheapest thing I remember on the menu. Because chocolate chip cookies are hard to find, and never quite right – it’s the dough, they don’t quite get it right, by which I mean the texture; it’s never chewy as a good chocolate chip cookie is meant to be – the one at Love chocolate Cafe gets good marks. While it certainly wasn’t as gooey as you’re used to in the US, they are served slightly warm so the chip does melt-in-your-mouth, which gives it that enjoyable feel. I would probably reduce the pinch of salt to a mere pinch of salt before I was to give it top marks, but that’s because I don’t like the taste of salt in my cookie.

My friends ordered a brownie, a chocolate pudding and a chocolate cake while I went for the cookies. Neither of us was able to complete our orders as they were so rich in flavour and texture. (OK, I lie. I would have gobbled the cookies down had I not been seated in a Fortnum Mason tea parlor meets 1940s kitsch, complete with lounge music–save that one time they broke into North African reggae hip hop mix.) Thankfully you can order the cookies to go and can also present them as gifts (VND60,000 for six) which is actually a pretty good idea, not to mention a sure-fire way to make lasting relationships.

I feel guilty for I really should tell you how each order tasted, but how many ways can I describe a brownie? Well technically lots of ways for I’m a writer but in my defence I would lose myself to the endorphins each time I sampled a bite. Yes yes yes it was as good as that Meg Ryan scene from When Harry Met Sally, the only difference being that while she and Billy Crystal returned to their meal, I went into a state of food coma, where the brain begins to slow down and the body goes into a fully satisfied feeling and your heart is so grateful for the treat. Do it regularly and your heart will probably collapse, but the Love Chocolate Cafe is hardly the place you’ll come back to on a regular basis.

Here’s why: it’s a chocolate cafe. You come the first time, you’re awed by it, you induce yourself into a state of delight and food coma and vow to return, which you will a few more times, spaced over time because after a while the thrill of it will wear off. But come back you will, for there’s no place like it in Ha Noi. I’m saying this for the men who worry that coming here with their wives, girlfriends, prospective will partners backfire in some weird way. It won’t. Do it. You’ll thank me. I’m so grateful this review does not come with writer’s contact details.

A word about the decor, which as one reviewer rightly described, is surreal. Mint green walls, Laura Ashely like printed curtains, some boudoir like red velvet sofas, and paintings on the wall of women dressed as bygone Hollywood heroines, complete with cut out accessories, a piece of fur or pearls or handbag to complete the picture of a women’s parlor I’m guessing? It really is very kitschy. And disconcerting because it doesn’t feel like you’re in Ha Noi, which works if that’s what you’re looking for.

It’s a trek for those of us who aren’t desperate housewives of Westeria Lake. And it’s definitely more than a pinch on your wallet. Around VND100,000 for essentially a dessert – it’s rich but it’s not an entree – or coffee for up to 80k is not cheap by any means. But they use top of the line ingredients and that is what you are paying for. It helps that it’s not located very far from an exercise studio where you can always work it all off. — VNS