Chapter 31 (Part 2)

[모나리자]

베아트리스의 비난과 단테의 고백. 레테의 통로. 일곱 가지 미덕. 그리폰. "오, 신성한 강 너머에 있는 자여," 그녀의 담론의 요점을 나에게 돌리며, 날카롭게도 나에게도 그렇게 예리하게 보였던 그녀는 다시 말을 시작하며 멈추지 않고 계속했다. "말해, 말해, 이게 사실이라면; 그런 비난에, 네 자신의 고백이 결합되어야만 해."

내 능력은 너무나 큰 혼란에 빠져서, 그 목소리는 움직였지만, 기관에 의해 크게 퍼지기보다 더 빨리 사라졌다. 그녀는 잠시 기다렸다가 말했다. "무슨 생각을 하는 거야? 대답해. 네 안의 슬픈 기억은 아직 물에 의해 다치지 않았으니까." 혼란과 당황이 뒤섞여 내 입에서 그런 '예!'를 강제로 내뱉었고, 그 광경은 그것을 이해하는 데 필요했다.

석궁이 부러지듯이, 너무 긴장해서 활줄과 활을 당겼을 때, 그리고 화살이 작은 힘으로 표적에 맞았을 때, 나는 그 무거운 짐에 굴복했고, 눈물과 한숨을 쏟아냈고, 그 목소리는 그 길을 나아가는 데 힘이 빠졌다. 그녀가 나에게 말했다: "내가 그 욕망으로 너를 그 선을 사랑하게 했고, 그 너머에는 열망할 것이 아무것도 없고, 어떤 참호를 가로지르고 어떤 사슬을 발견했는가, 앞으로 나아가는 것이 이렇게 희망을 빼앗아갔어야 했는가?

그리고 다른 사람들의 이마에 어떤 유혹이나 어떤 유리한 점이 보였는가, 네가 그들에게 발걸음을 돌렸는가?" 쓴 한숨을 쉰 후, 나는 대답할 목소리를 거의 낼 수 없었고, 피곤에 지쳐 입술을 삐죽거렸다. 나는 울면서 말했다: "존재하는 것들은 거짓된 쾌락으로 내 발걸음을 돌렸고, 네 얼굴이 가려지자마자." 그리고 그녀:

"네가 침묵하거나 고백한 것을 부인하더라도, 그런 재판관에 의해 알려진 네 잘못은 덜 분명하지 않을 것이다. 하지만 자신의 뺨에서 죄의 고소가 터져나올 때, 우리 재판소에서 바퀴가 가장자리에 부딪혀 스스로 돌 것이다.

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그래도, 네 범죄에 대해 더 큰 수치심을 느낄 수 있도록, 그리고 다른 때 사이렌 소리를 듣고 더 강해질 수 있도록, 울음의 씨앗을 뿌리고 주의를 기울여라; 그러면 네가 듣게 될 것이다, 내 묻힌 육신이 어떻게 반대 방향으로 너를 이끌었는지. 네게 제시된 예술이나 자연은 내가 둘러싸인 아름다운 사지만큼 큰 쾌락이 아니었다. 땅에 흩어져 있다.

그리고 내 죽음 때문에 가장 높은 쾌락이 그렇게 실패했다면, 어떤 필멸의 것이 너를 그 욕망으로 끌어들였겠는가? 너는 진실로 잘못된 것들의 첫 번째 화살에서 일어나 더 이상 그런 사람이 아니었던 나를 따라야 했다. 너는 더 이상의 타격을 기다리기 위해 날개를 아래로 숙여서는 안 됐어, 혹은 어린 소녀여, 혹은 그런 잠깐의 용도에 대한 다른 허영심이여.

어린 새는 두세 마리를 기다리지만, 이미 날아간 새의 눈에는 헛되이 그물을 펼치거나 화살을 쏘아도 소용없어." 부끄러움에 잠긴 아이들이 눈을 땅에 대고 귀를 기울이고, 자신의 잘못을 깨닫고 회개하듯이; 나도 서 있었고; 그녀는 말했다: "만약 네가 듣는 데 고통을 받는다면, 수염을 들어 올려라. 그러면 보는 데 더 큰 고통을 느낄 것이다."

튼튼한 홀나무 뿌리가 뿌리째 뽑혔는데, 토착 바람에 의해 뿌리째 뽑혔든 아니면 이아르바스 지역에서 온 바람에 뿌리째 뽑혔든, 내가 그녀의 명령에 턱을 들어올리는 것보다 덜 저항이 있었다; 그리고 그녀가 수염으로 얼굴을 요구했을 때, 나는 그녀의 의미의 독을 잘 알아챘다. 그리고 내 얼굴이 들어올려졌을 때, 내 눈은 아름다운 그 생물들이 꽃을 뿌린 후 쉬었다는 것을 알았다; 그리고 여전히 약간 안심한 채로, 내 눈은 베아트리스가 괴물을 향해 돌아서는 것을 보았다. 그것은 두 가지 본성을 가진 한 사람일 뿐이다.

그녀의 베일 아래, 푸른 하늘 너머, 그녀는 나에게 훨씬 더 옛날의 자기 자신처럼 보였다. 그녀가 여기 있을 때, 다른 사람들보다 뛰어났다. 그래서 회개의 가시가 나를 찔렀다. 다른 모든 것 중에서 나를 가장 사랑으로 돌린 것이 가장 나의 적이 되었다.

그런 자기 확신이 내 마음을 찌르고, 나는 압도당해 쓰러졌고, 그때 내가 무엇이 되었는지 그녀는 누가 나에게 그 대의를 제공했는지 안다. 그때, 마음이 내 외적인 감각을 회복했을 때, 내가 홀로 발견했던 여인이 내 위에 있었다.

나는 보았고, 그녀는 "나를 붙잡아, 붙잡아."라고 말했다. 그녀는 내 목까지 시냇물 속에서 나를 끌어당겼고, 나를 그녀 뒤로 끌고 가면서, 그녀는 가볍게 물 위를 셔틀처럼 움직였다. 내가 축복받은 해안에 가까이 갔을 때, "나에게 Asperges me"라고 너무나 달콤하게 노래하는 것을 들었다. 기억할 수 없고, 더구나 쓸 수도 없다.

아름다운 여인이 팔을 벌려 내 머리를 껴안고, 나를 아래로 밀어넣었다. 그곳에서 나는 물을 삼키도록 강요당했다. 그러고 나서 그녀는 나를 끌어당겼고, 모든 물방울이 네 명의 아름다운 춤으로 끌려들었고, 각자가 그녀의 팔로 나를 덮었다. '우리는 여기 님프이고, 하늘에는 별들이 있다. 베아트리스가 세상에 내려오기 전에, 우리는 그녀의 하녀로 임명되었다.

우리는 너를 그녀의 눈으로 인도할 것이다. 그러나 그 안에 있는 즐거운 빛이 너를 더욱 깊이 들여다보는 저 너머의 세 사람을 날카롭게 할 것이다.' 이렇게 노래하기 시작했다. 그리고 나서 그들은 나를 그리핀의 가슴으로 인도했는데, 베아트리스가 서 있었고, 우리를 향해 돌아섰다.

"눈을 아끼지 말라고," 그들이 말했다. "에메랄드 전에 우리가 너를 주둔시켰지, 그때 사랑이 너를 위해 무기를 꺼냈지." 불꽃보다 더 뜨거운 수천 개의 갈망이 내 눈을 주저하는 그 눈에 고정시켰고, 여전히 그리핀 위에 굳건히 서 있었다.

유리창 속의 태양처럼, 그렇지 않으면 그 안에는 두 가지 괴물이 빛나고 있었다. 때로는 하나로, 때로는 다른 본성으로. 독자여, 생각해 보라, 내가 내 안에서 놀랐는지, 내가 그 사물 자체가 가만히 서 있는 것을 보았을 때, 그리고 그 이미지에서 그것이 스스로를 변형하는 것을.

놀라움과 환희로 가득 찬 채, 내 영혼은 음식을 맛보고 있었다. 그것이 우리를 만족시키는 동안, 우리를 배고프게 만들고, 그들 스스로 가장 높은 지위를 드러내면서, 다른 세 명은 천사의 사라반드에 맞춰 노래를 부르며 나아갔다.

"돌아가라, 베아트리스, 오 거룩한 눈을 돌려라," 그들의 노래는 이러했다, "당신의 충실한 자에게, 그토록 많은 걸음을 걸어가며 당신을 보아야 하는 자에게. 은혜로 우리에게 은혜를 베푸소서, 당신이 당신의 얼굴을 그에게 드러내어, 그가 당신이 감추신 두 번째 아름다움을 분별할 수 있도록."

오, 영원한 살아있는 빛의 찬란함이여! 파르나서스의 그늘 아래에서 그토록 창백해지거나, 그 저수조에서 그토록 마신 자는 마음이 방해받는 것처럼 보이지 않을 것이다

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당신이 나타났을 때처럼, 조화로운 하늘이 당신을 가린 곳에서, 당신이 야외에서 베일을 벗겼을 때처럼, 당신을 그리려고 노력하는가?

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276p

Chapter 31  

Reproaches of Beatrice and Confession of Dante. The Passage of Lethe. The Seven Virtues. The Griffon. "O thou who art beyond the sacred river," Turning to me the point of her discourse, That edgewise even had seemed to me so keen, She recommenced, continuing without pause, "Say, say if this be true; to such a charge, Thy own confession needs must be conjoined."

My faculties were in so great confusion, That the voice moved, but sooner was extinct Than by its organs it was set at large. Awhile she waited; then she said: "What thinkest? Answer me; for the mournful memories In thee not yet are by the waters injured." Confusion and dismay together mingled Forced such a Yes! from out my mouth, that sight Was needful to the understanding of it.

Even as a cross-bow breaks, when 'tis discharged Too tensely drawn the bowstring and the bow, And with less force the arrow hits the mark, So I gave way beneath that heavy burden, Outpouring in a torrent tears and sighs, And the voice flagged upon its passage forth. Whence she to me: "In those desires of mine Which led thee to the loving of that good, Beyond which there is nothing to aspire to, What trenches lying traverse or what chains Didst thou discover, that of passing onward Thou shouldst have thus despoiled thee of the hope?

And what allurements or what vantages Upon the forehead of the others showed, That thou shouldst turn thy footsteps unto them?" After the heaving of a bitter sigh, Hardly had I the voice to make response, And with fatigue my lips did fashion it. Weeping I said: "The things that present were With their false pleasure turned aside my steps, Soon as your countenance concealed itself." And she:

"Shouldst thou be silent, or deny What thou confessest, not less manifest Would be thy fault, by such a Judge 'tis known. But when from one's own cheeks comes bursting forth The accusal of the sin, in our tribunal Against the edge the wheel doth turn itself.

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But still, that thou mayst feel a greater shame For thy transgression, and another time Hearing the Sirens thou mayst be more strong, Cast down the seed of weeping and attend; So shalt thou hear, how in an opposite way My buried flesh should have directed thee. Never to thee presented art or nature Pleasure so great as the fair limbs wherein I was enclosed, which scattered are in earth.

And if the highest pleasure thus did fail thee By reason of my death, what mortal thing Should then have drawn thee into its desire? Thou oughtest verily at the first shaft Of things fallacious to have risen up To follow me, who was no longer such. Thou oughtest not to have stooped thy pinions downward To wait for further blows, or little girl, Or other vanity of such brief use.

The callow birdlet waits for two or three, But to the eyes of those already fledged, In vain the net is spread or shaft is shot." Even as children silent in their shame Stand listening with their eyes upon the ground, And conscious of their fault, and penitent; So was I standing; and she said: "If thou In hearing sufferest pain, lift up thy beard And thou shalt feel a greater pain in seeing."

With less resistance is a robust holm Uprooted, either by a native wind Or else by that from regions of Iarbas, Than I upraised at her command my chin; And when she by the beard the face demanded, Well I perceived the venom of her meaning. And as my countenance was lifted up, Mine eye perceived those creatures beautiful Had rested from the strewing of the flowers; And, still but little reassured, mine eyes Saw Beatrice turned round towards the monster, That is one person only in two natures.

Beneath her veil, beyond the margent green, She seemed to me far more her ancient self To excel, than others here, when she was here. So pricked me then the thorn of penitence, That of all other things the one which turned me Most to its love became the most my foe.

Such self-conviction stung me at the heart O'erpowered I fell, and what I then became She knoweth who had furnished me the cause. Then, when the heart restored my outward sense, The lady I had found alone, above me

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I saw, and she was saying, "Hold me, hold me." Up to my throat she in the stream had drawn me, And, dragging me behind her, she was moving Upon the water lightly as a shuttle. When I was near unto the blessed shore, "Asperges me," I heard so sweetly sung, Remember it I cannot, much less write it.

The beautiful lady opened wide her arms, Embraced my head, and plunged me underneath, Where I was forced to swallow of the water. Then forth she drew me, and all dripping brought Into the dance of the four beautiful, And each one with her arm did cover me. 'We here are Nymphs, and in the Heaven are stars; Ere Beatrice descended to the world, We as her handmaids were appointed her.

We'll lead thee to her eyes; but for the pleasant Light that within them is, shall sharpen thine The three beyond, who more profoundly look.' Thus singing they began; and afterwards Unto the Griffin's breast they led me with them, Where Beatrice was standing, turned towards us.

"See that thou dost not spare thine eyes," they said; "Before the emeralds have we stationed thee, Whence Love aforetime drew for thee his weapons." A thousand longings, hotter than the flame, Fastened mine eyes upon those eyes relucent, That still upon the Griffin steadfast stayed.

As in a glass the sun, not otherwise Within them was the twofold monster shining, Now with the one, now with the other nature. Think, Reader, if within myself I marvelled, When I beheld the thing itself stand still, And in its image it transformed itself.

While with amazement filled and jubilant, My soul was tasting of the food, that while It satisfies us makes us hunger for it, Themselves revealing of the highest rank In bearing, did the other three advance, Singing to their angelic saraband.

"Turn, Beatrice, O turn thy holy eyes," Such was their song, "unto thy faithful one, Who has to see thee ta'en so many steps. In grace do us the grace that thou unveil Thy face to him, so that he may discern The second beauty which thou dost conceal."

O splendour of the living light eternal! Who underneath the shadow of Parnassus Has grown so pale, or drunk so at its cistern, He would not seem to have his mind encumbered

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Striving to paint thee as thou didst appear, Where the harmonious heaven o'ershadowed thee, When in the open air thou didst unveil?