wishy-wash / bedrock

[Christopher kim]

당신 개인과 가정의

근반은

bedrock

기반

기반암 (基盤岩 )

"뿌리 깊은 나무는 바람에 흔들리지 않는다,

용비어천가의 한 문장이다.

어디 나무 뿐이겠는가?

예수는 그의 수제자 (首弟子) 시몬에게

'베드로'라는 새 이름을 주셨는데

그 뜻이 '바위'이다

교회의 기초를 바위 위에 세워 어떤 시련이 와도

튼튼한 기초가 되어 흔들리거나 너머니지 않겠다고 하신 것이다 

그 바위가 rock 인데 bedrock 이라는 말이 되어

그 기초가 더 탄탄함을 생각케 한다

왜 하필이면 '침대'라는 bed 를 rock과 합한 낱말이 나왔을까?

Greece 어 bothyros bed의 뿌리인데

'sleeping place dug in the ground,' 

땅을 파서 만든 잠자리라는 뜻이다.

(지하는 여름에 시원하고 겨울에 따스함)

싫던 좋던 이웃과 어울려 살며

많은 공동체에서도 바람직한 대인관계를 맞어야 하는 우리 ~

"Honesty is the BEDROCK of a good relationship"

정직은 좋은 대인관계의 기반이다.

결혼 상대를 구할 때 

'뼈대있는 집안' 이나 '근본이 있는 가계 (家系)를 선호한다

Does his (or her) family have a traditional BEDROCK  root?

그 (또는 그녀)의 가족은 전통있는 기반의 뿌리를 가졌는가?

우리 세대에는 여자가 25 만 넘어도 노처녀라는 

오명 (?)을 가졌었는데 요즈음은 30 살 넘은 독신 남녀가 수두룩하다

가정의 중요성을 모르지 않는텐데 말이다

Most of people agree family life is the BEDOCKof society,

대부분의 사람들은 가족 생활이 사회의 근간임에 동의한다

게다가 ~

Marriage and children are the BEDROCK of family life.

"결혼과 자녀들은 가족의 삶의 기반이다,"라는 사실도 부인하지 않는다

그런데 현실은 어떤가.?!

가정 이루기도 어렵고 결혼을 해도 

DINK (double income no kid) 가 한국의 인구를 줄이고 있다

인구 감소 걱정도 문제지만 

요즈음 각종 재판은 

돈을 주었다는 사람과 받았다는 사람 사이의 거리가 너무 멀다는 것이다.

The BEDROCK of the political bondage is not honesty but mammonism.

정치의 결속의 기초는 정직이 아니라 물질만능주의이다

What  has been the bedrock on which his life is based?

당신의 삶에 기초가 되는 기반은 무엇이어 왔는가?

mammonism

the political landscape 

f it is from PIE root *bhedh- "to dig, pierce" (source also of Hittite beda- "to pierce, prick," Greek bothyros 

'뼈대있는 집안' 이나 '근본이 있는 가계 (家系)' 모두 바람직한 전통을 잇는 

"honesty is the bedrock of a good relationship"

Marriage and children are the bedrock of family life.

They dug down for 10 feet before they hit bedrock.

Mutual trust is the bedrock of a relationship.

 family is the bedrock of society.

Deep down in the soil, a firm section of bedrock exists.

 It is very important to have that bedrock of support.

Values of tolerance are the bedrock of our society.

Since most couples agree family life is the bedrock of society,

why don't we bribe people to marry?

His religious beliefs are the bedrock on which his life is based.
Mark Travers Ph.D.
Social Instincts
RELATIONSHIPS

When to Cut the Cord on an Emotionally Distant Relationship
The illusion of love can push you into a black hole.
Communication is the bedrock of all good relationships.
Here’s how to escape it.
Posted April 13, 2023
Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

KEY POINTS

A desperate need for love or a paralyzing fear of loss can drive us to rationalize a partner’s wishy-washy behavior in a relationship.

Early relationships with caregivers play a key role in defining how one seeks (or avoids) emotional intimacy and availability in adulthood.

Communication is the bedrock of all good relationships.
Source: Emma Logan/Unsplash
Source: Emma Logan/Unsplash

Many people come to therapy after dwelling in a state of confusion because of the mixed signals they’ve received from their partners.

They say things like the following:

“I appreciate that my partner does not keep talking about his ex when we are together, but why won’t he tell me about his past relationships when I ask him?”
“My partner is a man of few words. He does not like to share too much, but it’s getting to the point where it’s seriously affecting our emotional intimacy.”


“My partner seems to be a lover of ‘undefined love,’ but I don’t think that’s going to fly with me in the long run.”
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bedrock (n.)

also bed-rock, in geology, "solid rock lying under soil or gravel," 1850, from bed (n.) + rock (n.). Figurative use by 1869; as an adjective by 1881.

Entries linking to bedrock

bed (n.)

Old English bedd "bed, couch, resting place; garden plot," from Proto-Germanic *badja- (source also of Old Frisian, Old Saxon bed, Middle Dutch bedde, Old Norse beðr, Old High German betti, German Bett, Gothic badi "bed"). This is said to mean perhaps "sleeping place dug in the ground," if it is from PIE root *bhedh- "to dig, pierce" (source also of Hittite beda- "to pierce, prick," Greek bothyros "pit," Latin fossa "ditch,

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Mark Travers Ph.D.
Mark Travers Ph.D.
Social Instincts
RELATIONSHIPS
When to Cut the Cord on an Emotionally Distant Relationship
The illusion of love can push you into a black hole. Here’s how to escape it.
Posted April 13, 2023
Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
KEY POINTS

A desperate need for love or a paralyzing fear of loss can drive us to rationalize a partner’s wishy-washy behavior in a relationship.


Early relationships with caregivers play a key role in defining how one seeks (or avoids) emotional intimacy and availability in adulthood.
Communication is the bedrock of all good relationships.
Source: Emma Logan/Unsplash
Source: Emma Logan/Unsplash
Many people come to therapy after dwelling in a state of confusion because of the mixed signals they’ve received from their partners. They say things like the following:

“I appreciate that my partner does not keep talking about his ex when we are together, but why won’t he tell me about his past relationships when I ask him?”

“My partner is a man of few words. He does not like to share too much, but it’s getting to the point where it’s seriously affecting our emotional intimacy.”

“My partner seems to be a lover of ‘undefined love,’ but I don’t think that’s going to fly with me in the long run.”
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If you can relate to any of these statements, you may be in a similar situation.

Perhaps you’re attracted to someone who is emotionally unavailable, and you feel like your relationship is constantly "hanging by a thread." You may still harbor hope for your relationship, but reality suggests otherwise.

A desperate need for love, or a paralyzing fear of loss, can drive you to rationalize a partner’s wishy-washy behavior in a relationship. You might start defending their behaviors while hoping that they’ll change if you just give them time. Patience, understanding, and empathy—all of these traits are praiseworthy, but not at the cost of your own emotional needs.

There are many causes of emotional unavailability in relationships. For one, early relationships with primary caregivers during childhood play a key role in defining how one seeks (or avoids) emotional intimacy and availability in adult relationships, as evidenced by a study published in Frontiers in Psychology.

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Research, for instance, suggests that emotionally available adults exhibit the following three "healthy" dimensions of attachment: sensitivity, nonintrusiveness, and nonhostility. It’s worth taking stock of how much you and your partner incorporate these behavioral patterns into your relationship, and whether your partner might have difficulty being emotionally available due to a troubled upbringing.

Here are two ways to determine whether your relationship is likely to crumble under the weight of emotional distance:

1. Your partner never opens up to you.
You will know that someone is emotionally unavailable when they seal themselves off beyond what is considered normal. Despite your constant efforts to provide them with a safe space to open up, they never let their guard down, and they rarely tell you what’s really on their mind. When they do, it may come as a shock because you’ve been kept in the dark for so long.

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For example, rather than sharing with you how their day was, they choose to bottle up their emotions and, instead, take their frustration out on you when you nudge them to cope with it in a healthy manner.

Because they tend to "turn off" emotions, they rarely make an effort to understand you, and they struggle to relate to you and your problems. This may become a significant cause of frustration as it makes you feel like your needs are not getting honored.

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2. Your partner prefers to stay hush-hush about their past.
An emotionally unavailable person can be very secretive about their previous relationships.

While there is no need to divulge every single detail about one’s relationship history, being open, honest, and forthright about one’s life is a necessity. This not only builds trust, but it also deepens the bond between two people.

If your partner chooses to keep you completely in the dark and is uncomfortable about the idea of sharing details of their past, especially when asked, this may indicate that they are evading an emotional bond.

Conclusion
Communication is the bedrock of all good relationships. As such, people who are "closed books" are showing you their red flag and must be approached with caution