공고 밴드부 출신 Trading School Band Club Graduate

공고 밴드부 출신 Trading School Band Club Graduate 나는 어려서부터 배는 곯지 않았지만 집안 살림이 그저 그래서 대학 포기, 중학교 태만한 후 공고 입학.하지만 그나마도 취미를 잃어서, 꿈을 잃었겠지만, 혹은 귀찮아서, 밴드부 하면서 수업/실습 빼먹는 재미로 고등학교 턱걸이 졸업.(중딩 고딩 입학시험에서 체력 실기에서는 턱걸이 두 개씩 했음. 고딩 때 전교 2000여 명 정도였을 것. 그리고 전교생 체력장검사에서 나 혼자 무급 받았음. 게으름의 표상.)제대 후 어쩌다 미국에 와서 죽기 살기로 학사 둘 석사 둘 400여 학점 받았지만, 내가 생각해도 언빌리버블(unbelievable, 믿어지지 않아서)이라서인지 내 마음은 영원한 고졸.(학력에 자격지심 절대 없음. 어려서부터 학력과 나이에 관해서는 거짓말을 해본 적이 없음.) 같은 경로를 거친 내 고딩 친구들.열심히 공부해서 자격증 따고, 방산 근무 병역면제, 주경야독하여 그야말로 한국 산업화의 역군들이 되었는데...일찍 철든 나의 친구들, 지금도 계속 소통하고 한국 갈 때마다 만나는데 정말 존경한다. 연결되는 두 번째 얘기...ㅋ최근 어떤 영상에서 공고 밴드부까지 나와 비슷한 경로를 거쳤음에도 불구하고 불철주야 노력하여 한국 최고수준의 연주가들로서 후진을 양성하고 다양하게, 이웃들, 특히 소외된 분들에게 재능과 복을 나누며 연주 활동하는 분들의 이야기를 보면서 “넌 도대체 뭘 했냐?”는 자문을 하고 말았다. ㅋㅋ(나 자신 어이가 없음. 왜냐면 나도 절대음감이거든. ㅋ. 이게 문제야. 듣고 연주를 하니 악보 보는 법을 익히지 못했지요. ㅋ)(하긴 나도 뉴저지 양로병원에서 몇 차례 나팔(색소폰)을 불어드린 적이 있었지만 그나마도 여긴 외진 곳이라 그것도 만만하지 않다.)난 아무리 학력이 높고 돈이 많고 경력이 화려해도 거들먹거리거나 자기만 위해서 사는 사람들은 눈 아래로 보면 안 될 테니, 최소한 우러러보진 않는다. (고 채현국님(蔡鉉國, 1935년 3월 16일 ~ 2021년 4월 2일) 같은 분들은 정말 존경한다.)그러나 자신은 물론, 타인, 특히 약자들을 존중하고 배려하고 고양하고 격려하고 섬기는 분들을 보면 목이 먹먹해진다.돌이켜보면 결정적으로 어리석었던 나의 과거 행동들에 대해 후회해서 무슨 소용이랴, 다만 어이가 없지만 그나마 남은 인생이라도 나를 위해서, 이웃들을 위해서 열심히라기 보다 그냥 만만한 수준으로 할 수 있는 데까지 봉사하며 살다가 앉아서 죽고 싶을 뿐이다.이 또한 욕심이겠지만... 그래서 만만한 수준으로... 아래 영어는 위 한글 문장을 파파고로 번역하여 5% 수정한 것. 어떤 이들은 나의 영문을 시적이라고 말함. 하긴 내가 제다이 요다 식으로 영어를 구사하니까.. ㅋFollowing English text is a translation with Papago, and I fixed maybe just 5% myself. I never got hungry in my young age, but because my family life was just that, I gave up on college, neglected middle school, and entered a technical high school.But even that, having lost my interest, probably meant no dream, or maybe because I was too lazy, I barely graduated high school by skipping classes and workshop training with the excuse of band club.(In the middle and high school entrance exams, I barely managed two pull-ups each on the physical fitness test. And also in high school, there were about 2,000 students in the whole school (or so I think), and I was the only one to get an out of five levels on the school-wide physical fitness test. which might show my laziness.)After my discharge of military service, I somehow ended up immigrating to the U.S. and, with so much struggle to the end of my capacity, earned two bachelor’s degrees, and two master’s degrees; about 400 total credits.But even I think it was unbelievable, so my heart remains forever that I am a high school graduate. (So I always am impressed whenever I heard somebody accomplished bacheler degree.)(There is absolutely no inferiority complex about academic credentials. Since I was a child, I have never lied about my education and age.) My high school friends went through the same route.They studied hard, earned certifications or licenses, were waived military service by working in defense related companies, and studied day and night, truly became the backbone of Korea’s industrialization.My friends, who matured in the early age, still keep in touch, and I meet them whenever I go to Korea—I truly respect them. The second connected story...hahaIn a recent video, even though they had gone through a similar path as trading school band club, I found myself asking, “What on earth have you been doing?” while watching the stories of those who, through tireless effort, train the next generation into top-level Korean performers, and who perform in diverse ways, sharing their talents and blessings with neighbors, especially the marginalized. Haha (I’m so dumbfounded. Because I’m a perfect pitch too. Haha, but that was the problem. Being able to play by ear, I lost chance to learn how to read sheet music. haha(Well, I have also played saxophone a few times at a nursing hospital in New Jersey, but even that isn’t easy here because of remoteness of the current place.)No matter how highly educated, wealthy, or accomplished they are, I should never look down on people who act arrogantly or live only for themselves, so at the very least, I do not look up to them. (I truly respect people like the late Chae Hyun-guk (蔡鉉國, March 16, 1935 – April 2, 2021).)But when I see people who respect, care for, uplift, encourage, and serve not only themselves, but others, especially the vulnerable, I feel a lump in my throat.Looking back, what good is it to regret some of my past actions, which were decisively foolish?It is only absurd, but even in the remaining years of my life, not only working hard for myself or for my neighbors, I just want to serve as much as I can at a rather easy level, and then just die in sitting position.This may also be my too much greed, but... So at an easy level...(Do you my Engoolisi understand? LOL)