This is where your ice cream comes from the creamy poop or a mystic unicon. Totally clean, totally cool, and soft-served straight from a sphincter. Mmm. They`re good a t pooping. But you know who sucks at pooping? You do. That`s cause when you sit on the porcelain throne, this mucle pu a kink in th hose and stops the Ben & Jerry`s from sliding put smoothly. Is that a problem? I don`t know, are hemorrhoids a problem? Cause sitting at this angle can cause hemorrhoids, bloating, constipation, and a buttload of other crap. And seriously, unicorn hemorrhoids? The glitter gets everywhere. But what happens whn you go from a sit to a squat? Voila- the muscle relaxes and that kind goes away faster Pegasus laying a sweet sherbet dookie. Now your colons open and ready for battle. That`s cause our bodies were made to poop in a squat. And now there`s a product that lets you squat in you own home. Introducing the Squatty Potty. No, it`s not a joke. And ye, it will give you the best poop of your life, guaranteed. I don`t just mean you bloated lords and hemorrhoidal ladies -- i mean everyone. Kink Unkink. Kink, unkink. It`s simple science really. Can`t get the last scoop out of the carton? With the Squatty Potty you get complete elimination. Spend too much time on the chamber pot? Squatty Potty makes you go twice as fast, or you money back. I scream, you scream, and plop plop, baby. Maybe you`re sore from squeezing out solid globs of rocky road. The Squatty Potty that gives you a smooth stream of froyo that glides like a virgin swan. Plus when you`re done, it trucks neatly out sight, thanks to its innovative patented design. Truly a footstool fit for a constipated king! So if you`re a human being who poops from your butt, click here to order your Squatty Potty today at SquattyPotty.com. You`ll wish yu tried it year ago. And if you don`t trust a prince, how about your Doctor? Shark Tank? HuffPost? NPR? Men`s Health? Howard Stern?-- He poops from his butt. They`re all crazy about the Squatty Potty. Not to mentin the 2,000 Amazon users who gave the Squatty Potty 5 stars, including the author of this moving haiku: "Oh Squatty Potty You fill me with endless joy Yet leave me empty." So order your Squatty Potty today. I`m not saying it will make your poop as soft as this cookies`n'cream. But I`m not saying it won`t. Squatty Potty. The stool for better stools. Pooping will never be the same... And neither will ice cream. One for you, very good. How does it taste is that delicious? Is that the best thing you have ever had in your life? There you are.