PART 2 // chapter 3-6

[모나리자]

그는 여전히 맥주 한 잔이 담긴 병을 낚아채서 마치 가슴의 불꽃을 끄는 듯 맛있게 꿀꺽 삼켰다. 하지만 1분 후 맥주가 그의 머리로 올라갔고, 희미하고도 기분 좋은 떨림이 그의 척추를 따라 흘러내렸다. 그는 누워서 이불을 끌어안았다. 그의 병들고 불일관한 생각은 점점 더 단절되었고, 곧 가볍고 기분 좋은 졸음이 찾아왔다. 그는 편안함을 느끼며 머리를 베개에 파묻고, 낡고 해진 외투를 대신한 부드럽고 뭉친 이불을 더 단단히 감싸고, 가볍게 한숨을 쉬며 깊고, 고요하고, 상쾌한 잠에 빠졌다.

그는 누군가가 들어오는 소리를 듣고 깨어났다. 그는 눈을 뜨자 라주미힌이 문간에 서서 들어올지 말지 고민하는 것을 보았다. 라스콜니코프는 재빨리 소파에 앉아 무언가를 떠올리려는 듯 그를 바라보았다. "아, 당신은 잠들지 않았군요! 여기 있습니다!" 나스타샤, 소포를 가져와!" 라주미힌이 계단 아래로 소리쳤다. "바로 계산서를 받게 될 거야." "몇 시야?" 라스콜니코프가 불안하게 주변을 둘러보며 물었다. "그래, 잘 잤어, 형님. 저녁이 다 되어가고 있어. 정확히 6시야. 6시간 이상 잤어." "맙소사! 내가 그랬어?" "그리고 왜 안 되겠어? 도움이 될 거야. 왜 서두르는 거야? 정사인가? 우리 앞에는 항상 시간이 있어.

지난 3시간 동안 너를 기다렸어. 두 번이나 일어나서 네가 잠든 걸 봤어. 조시모프를 두 번이나 찾아갔어. 집에서가 아니라, 사치하러 온 거야! 하지만 상관없어. 그는 나타날 거야. 그리고 나도 내 일 때문에 나갔어. 오늘 이사를 했다는 걸 알잖아. 삼촌과 함께 이사를 했어. 지금은 삼촌이 나와 함께 살고 있어. 하지만 그건 상관없어. 일 때문에. 소포를 줘, 나스타샤. 바로 열어 볼게.

그리고 지금은 기분이 어때, 형님?" "저는 아주 건강하고 아프지 않아요. 라주미힌, 여기 오래 있었어?" "제가 지난 3시간 동안 기다렸다고 말씀드렸잖아요." "아니요, 그 전에요." "무슨 말씀이신가요?" "얼마나 오래 여기 오셨어요?" "오늘 아침에 왜 다 말씀드렸어요. 기억 안 나세요?" 라스콜니코프가 곰곰이 생각했다. 그에게는 아침이 꿈 같았다. 그는 혼자서는 기억할 수 없었고, 라주미힌을 의아하게 바라보았다. "음!" 후자가 말했다. "잊었군요. 그때는 당신이 좀 이상하다고 생각했어요. 지금은 잠을 잘 잘 수 있을 것 같아요... 정말 훨씬 좋아 보이네요.

일류예요! 글쎄요, 사업적으로는요. 여기 보세요, 내 사랑하는 아들아." 그는 꾸러미를 풀기 시작했는데, 분명 그에게 흥미로웠을 것이다.

"믿어주세요, 형님. 이건 제 마음에 특히 가까운 거예요. 우리는 당신을 남자로 만들어야 하니까요. 위에서부터 시작하죠. 이 모자 보이세요?" 그는 꾸러미에서 꽤 괜찮지만 싸고 평범한 모자를 꺼냈다. "쓰게 해 줘." "지금은 나중에" 라스콜니코프가 짜증스럽게 손을 흔들며 말했다. "자, 로디아, 내 아들아, 반대하지 마. 나중에는 너무 늦을 거야. 그리고 나는 밤새 잠을 잘 수 없을 거야. 나는 그것을 측정 없이 추측해서 샀거든. 딱 맞아!" 그는 그것을 쓰면서 승리감에 넘쳐 외쳤다. "너한테 딱 맞는 사이즈야! 제대로 된 머리 가리개는 복장에서 첫 번째이고 그 자체로 추천이야.

내 친구인 톨스티야코프는 다른 사람들이 모자나 캡을 쓰고 있는 공공장소에 들어갈 때는 항상 푸딩 그릇을 벗어야 한다. 사람들은 그가 노예적인 예의에서 그렇게 한다고 생각하지만, 그저 새 둥지가 부끄러워서 그럴 뿐이야. 그는 너무 자랑스러운 녀석이거든! 나스타샤, 봐, 여기 두 개의 머리 장식이 있어: 이 팔머스톤 모자"—그는 모서리에서 라스콜니코프의 낡고 낡은 모자를 가져왔는데, 그는 알 수 없는 이유로 그것을 팔머스톤이라고 불렀다—"아니면 이 보석! 가격을 맞춰 봐, 로디아, 내가 얼마를 냈을까, 나스타샤!" 그는 라스콜니코프가 아무 말도 하지 않는 것을 보고 그녀를 돌아보며 말했다. "20코펙, 그 이상은 안 돼, 감히 말해." 나스타샤가 대답했다.

"20코펙, 바보야!" 그는 화가 나서 소리쳤다. "어머, 요즘은 그보다 더 비쌀 거야—80코펙이야! 그것도 이미 닳았기 때문이야. 그리고 닳았을 때 내년에 또 준다는 조건으로 산 거야. 그래, 내 말대로야! 그럼, 이제 학교에서 부르던 대로 미국으로 넘어가자.

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He snatched up the bottle, which still contained a glassful of beer, and gulped it down with relish, as though quenching a flame in his breast. But in another minute the beer had gone to his head, and a faint and even pleasant shiver ran down his spine. He lay down and pulled the quilt over him. His sick and incoherent thoughts grew more and more disconnected, and soon a light, pleasant drowsiness came upon him. With a sense of comfort he nestled his head into the pillow, wrapped more closely about him the soft, wadded quilt which had replaced the old, ragged greatcoat, sighed softly and sank into a deep, sound, refreshing sleep.

He woke up, hearing someone come in. He opened his eyes and saw Razumihin standing in the doorway, uncertain whether to come in or not. Raskolnikov sat up quickly on the sofa and gazed at him, as though trying to recall something. “Ah, you are not asleep! Here I am! Nastasya, bring in the parcel!” Razumihin shouted down the stairs. “You shall have the account directly.” “What time is it?” asked Raskolnikov, looking round uneasily. “Yes, you had a fine sleep, brother, it’s almost evening, it will be six o’clock directly. You have slept more than six hours.” “Good heavens! Have I?” “And why not? It will do you good. What’s the hurry? A tryst, is it? We’ve all time before us.

I’ve been waiting for the last three hours for you; I’ve been up twice and found you asleep. I’ve called on Zossimov twice; not at home, only fancy! But no matter, he will turn up. And I’ve been out on my own business, too. You know I’ve been moving to-day, moving with my uncle. I have an uncle living with me now. But that’s no matter, to business. Give me the parcel, Nastasya. We will open it directly.

And how do you feel now, brother?” “I am quite well, I am not ill. Razumihin, have you been here long?” “I tell you I’ve been waiting for the last three hours.” “No, before.” “How do you mean?” “How long have you been coming here?” “Why I told you all about it this morning. Don’t you remember?” Raskolnikov pondered. The morning seemed like a dream to him. He could not remember alone, and looked inquiringly at Razumihin. “Hm!” said the latter, “he has forgotten. I fancied then that you were not quite yourself. Now you are better for your sleep.... You really look much better.

First-rate! Well, to business. Look here, my dear boy.” He began untying the bundle, which evidently interested him.

“Believe me, brother, this is something specially near my heart. For we must make a man of you. Let’s begin from the top. Do you see this cap?” he said, taking out of the bundle a fairly good though cheap and ordinary cap. “Let me try it on.” “Presently, afterwards,” said Raskolnikov, waving it off pettishly. “Come, Rodya, my boy, don’t oppose it, afterwards will be too late; and I shan’t sleep all night, for I bought it by guess, without measure. Just right!” he cried triumphantly, fitting it on, “just your size! A proper head-covering is the first thing in dress and a recommendation in its own way.

Tolstyakov, a friend of mine, is always obliged to take off his pudding basin when he goes into any public place where other people wear their hats or caps. People think he does it from slavish politeness, but it’s simply because he is ashamed of his bird’s nest; he is such a boastful fellow! Look, Nastasya, here are two specimens of headgear: this Palmerston”—he took from the corner Raskolnikov’s old, battered hat, which for some unknown reason, he called a Palmerston—“or this jewel! Guess the price, Rodya, what do you suppose I paid for it, Nastasya!” he said, turning to her, seeing that Raskolnikov did not speak. “Twenty copecks, no more, I dare say,” answered Nastasya.

“Twenty copecks, silly!” he cried, offended. “Why, nowadays you would cost more than that—eighty copecks! And that only because it has been worn. And it’s bought on condition that when’s it’s worn out, they will give you another next year. Yes, on my word! Well, now let us pass to the United States of America, as they called them at school.