Re: 이시온

[Teacher1]

Max and Ruby went to the supermarket to buy the perfect pumpkin for Halloween.

There were many Halloween items.

While Ruby was finding the perfect pumpkin, Max played with the candy scarecrow.

So someone took the pumpkin that Ruby found.

Ruby found another big pumpkin,
but it was too big to carry.

So Ruby told Max to take a wagon.

Max took a wagon filled with toys,
and he played with the candy scarecrow again.

Someone took the pumpkin again.

Max shot an arrow, so the supermarket was a mess.

While they were cleaning the supermarket, there were no pumpkins left.

Ruby was so depressed,
but Max controlled the toy helicopter and hit the candy scarecrow's head.

It was the best pumpkin!

Score: B-

Tips)

1. 문법: "to but the perfect pumkin" → "to buy the perfect pumpkin" (but 대신 buy, pumkin 대신 pumpkin이 맞아요.)
2. 문법: "While Ruby found perfect pumkin" → "While Ruby was finding the perfect pumpkin" (found 대신 was finding이 더 자연스럽고, perfect pumkin 앞에 the 추가해야 해요.)
3. 문법: "SO Ruby said Max to take a wagon." → "So Ruby told Max to take a wagon." (said 대신 told가 맞아요.)
4. 문법: "Max took the wagan filled with toys." → "Max took a wagon filled with toys." (wagan 대신 wagon, 그리고 a wagon이 맞아요.)
5. 문법: "Max shoot a arrow, so supermarket was messed." → "Max shot an arrow, so the supermarket was a mess." (shoot 대신 과거형 shot, a arrow 대신 an arrow, 그리고 was messed 대신 was a mess가 맞아요.)
6. 문법: "there were no pumkin." → "there were no pumpkins left." (pumkin 대신 pumpkins, 그리고 left를 추가하면 더 자연스러워요.)
7. 문법: "Max controled the toy helicopter and took the candt scarecrow"s head." → "Max controlled the toy helicopter and hit the candy scarecrow's head." (controled 대신 controlled, took 대신 hit, candt 대신 candy로 수정했어요.)
8. 내용: Max가 어떻게 실수로 최고의 호박을 찾게 되었는지 더 자세히 설명하면 이야기가 더 재미있어질 거예요! 😊