What qualities make someone admirable? : one's best efforts
There are figures that people naturally admire. If they are living in the same age with us, their achievements are often reported in the news. People who lived earlier than us may be recorded in history. Looking at their recent achievements, you may have seen an article about celebrities donating large sums of money to areas affected by COVID-19 or natural disasters. No matter how much money they have, that much donation is not easy. Therefore, their behavior could be respected by anyone.
Then, what qualities can they be respected by people? They were respected because they did their best within their competence. No matter how poor you live, no one can blame you for giving as much as you can. We can also be respected if we do our best in our capabilities. There are many ways to receive respect. In a way, you can donate money, spread your knowledge, or donate your talent.
Anyone can be respected if they show their best efforts with a clear purpose. Why don't you stop just looking at respecting other people's achievements and become a respectable person?
피드백
1. 하다현: 마지막이 질문 형식으로 끝나 생각할 거리를 남겨준다는 점이 좋았습니다. 보통의 사람들이 실천할 수 있는 방법이 함께 제시된다면 더 좋을 것 같습니다!
2. 이대원: 글의 정보를 흩뿌려두고 점차 좁혀가면서 글이 흘러가는 역삼각형 형태의 글이 독자로 하여금 의문점을 가지면서 글을 집중하면서 읽도록 도움을 줍니다. 하지만, 글이 전체적으로 자신이 할 수 있는 최선을 다한다고 말한다는 점과 돈 기부를 통하여 이를 설명하려는 부분이 글의 핵심을 뒷받침하기에는 약하다고 생각이 듭니다.
What qualities make someone admirable? : one's best efforts
There are figures that people naturally admire. If they are living in the same age with us, their achievements are often reported in the news. People who lived earlier than us may be recorded in history. Looking at their recent achievements, you may have seen an article about celebrities donating large sums of money to areas affected by COVID-19 or natural disasters. No matter how much money they have, that much donation is not easy. Therefore, their behavior could be respected by anyone.
Then, what qualities can they be respected by people? They were respected because they did their best within their competence. No matter how poor you live, no one can blame you for giving as much as you can. We can also be respected if we do our best in our capabilities. In a common way, you can donate money. However, the financial part is not the only means. You can spread knowledge of your field or donate your own special talents. For example, there are ways to provide educational services, donate artistic talents, or spend one's time for others without paying.
Anyone can be respected if they show their best efforts with a clear purpose. Why don't you stop just looking at respecting other people's achievements and become a respectable person?
피드백1(하다현): 보통의 사람들이 실천할 수 있는 방법이 함께 제시된다면 더 좋을 것 같습니다! 수정한 사항을 빨간색 글씨로 표기했습니다.
피드백2(이대원): 글이 전체적으로 자신이 할 수 있는 최선을 다한다고 말한다는 점과 돈 기부를 통하여 이를 설명하려는 부분이 글의 핵심을 뒷받침하기에는 약하다고 생각이 듭니다. 수정한 사항을 밑줄로 표기했습니다.