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Any kind of
stifle a laugh
STIFLE evidenct
STIFLE your anger
She managed to stifle a yawn.
They hope the new rules will not STIFLE their kids' creativity.
Regulations on children stifled creativity.
She makes no attempt to stifle a yawn.
Jake shot a look at them and they abruptly stopped, trying to stifle their laughter.
the rules would stifle their growth.
an interfering old busybody!
2She managed to stifle a sob.
Why do you stifle me so by complaining?
Officialdom must not stifle all creativity of growth
The food did nothing to stifle her queasiness
even she is pregnant
1I don't know how I managed to stifle my anger.
Stifle in a Sentence
Definition of Stifle
to suppress or restrain something; to hold something back
Examples of Stifle in a sentence
The children tried to stifle their laughter during class but couldn’t hold back their giggles for long.
The video player is currently playing an ad. You can skip the ad in 5 sec with a mouse or keyboard
As they hid in the attic, the mother tried to stifle the baby’s cry so the Nazis wouldn't find them.
It is best to stifle curiosity and leave birds' nests alone.
I wish we could go outside instead of stifling in this tiny room.Apr 11, 2023
it's hard not to stifle a yawn.
it is very difficult to stifle a sneeze, even if you are a swan !
it is also helpful in clearing irritants and foreign objects from the nasal cavity
Too many rules tend to stifle innovation
영국식 중요1. [동사] (감정 등을) 억누르다, 억압하다 (=suppress)
2. [동사] (너무 덥거나 공기가 탁하여) 숨이 막히다, 질식하다; 숨이 막히게 하다, 질식시키다 (=suffocate)
John Amodeo Ph.D., MFT
Intimacy, A Path Toward Spirituality
SELF-ESTEEM
What It Really Means to Be Yourself
Trying to be someone we’re not is exhausting and counterproductive to finding the love and intimacy we desire.
We may have been so driven by shame to create a false self that we’ve lost touch with the goodness and beauty of who we really are.
Shame Stifles Authenticity
Shame erodes authenticity.
If we hold the core belief that we’re flawed, then this mental/emotional construct colors what we present to the world.
How healing shame frees authenticity.
Posted May 8, 2023
Reviewed by Ekua Hagan
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KEY POINTS
Being authentic is a key to happiness, but being authentic is easier said than done.
Shame erodes authenticity, and healing shame is a key to living a more authentic, spontaneous life.
Being congruent—expressing what one really feels inside—creates a foundation for love and intimacy.
photo by John Amodeo
Source: photo by John Amodeo
As much as we might like to think we’re authentic, we may find that we’re not always true to ourselves with others.
The essence of being ourselves is being who we really are from moment to moment. Instead of being and showing our authentic self, we may have constructed ways of being to try to look good, please others, and avoid the pain of embarrassment or rejection.
We fashion a self that’s not really us, which has often been called our false self. As discussed in my book, The Authentic Heart, I call this our “fabricated self.”
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Renowned psychologist Carl Rogers has nudged us to live in a manner that he called “congruent.”
This means that what we show and express to others is harmonious with what we’re experiencing inside.
If we’re feeling angry or sad, we acknowledge and honor that. Rather than flash a fake smile or pretend we’re fine, we have the awareness and courage to be emotionally honest and genuine with ourselves, which creates a foundation for being genuine with others.
Authenticity with ourselves, which is easier said than done, forms the basis for genuine intimacy with others.
We can’t enjoy deep and satisfying connections if we’re not being emotionally honest with ourselves.
Why is it so challenging to be authentic and congruent in our lives and relationships? What often hijacks us is unacknowledged shame.
In my psychotherapy practice over the past 40+ years, I’ve educated my clients about how shame is an unconscious driver of sabotaging behaviors.
Becoming aware of the sneaky ways that shame shows up is often the first step toward living a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Shame is that gnawing sense of being flawed, defective, and unworthy of love.
It drives us to construct a self that we believe (or hope) will be acceptable to others. Being rejected, banished, and humiliated are among the most painful human experiences.
stifle (v.)
late 14c., "to choke, suffocate, drown," of uncertain origin, possibly an alteration of Old French estouffer "to stifle, smother" (Modern French étouffer), itself of uncertain etymology, perhaps from a Germanic source (compare Old High German stopfon "to plug up, stuff"). Metaphoric sense is from 1570s. Related: Stifled; stifling.
We perpetuate our anxiety and exhaust ourselves as we scramble to figure out who we need to be to win acceptance and love.
Rather than relax into our natural, authentic self, we twist ourselves into knots in order to belong and find that elusive safety we crave.
When our experience has convinced us that it’s not safe to be authentic, we labor to design and polish a self that we think will be acceptable.
Some people might showcase their cleverness, beauty, or humor.
For others, it might be amassing wealth or power—proving to the world how “successful” they’ve become. We might strive to be better than others in order to be loved.
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Trying to be someone we’re not is exhausting and counterproductive to finding the love and intimacy we desire.
We may have been so driven by shame to create a false self that we’ve lost touch with the goodness and beauty of who we really are.
Shame Stifles Authenticity
Shame erodes authenticity.
If we hold the core belief that we’re flawed, then this mental/emotional construct colors what we present to the world.
Shame conditions us to lose touch with the spontaneous, joyful child within us. Life becomes all too serious. We lose our sense of humor and lightheartedness. Internalizing the message that there’s no room to be authentic—to be a person with strengths and limitations—we move away from ourselves; we abandon ourselves. Our self-worth can only grow in a climate of affirming who we are, which includes honoring the full range of our feelings and validating our needs, wants, and foibles.
As we come to recognize when shame is operating and how it stifles our life energy, it begins to loosen its destructive grip. Gradually, we can honor and stand behind ourselves, regardless of how others might see us or judge us. We increasingly realize that we have no control over what others think about us, and we’re no longer so concerned about it. Holding ourselves with respect and dignity becomes increasingly ascendant — displacing our real or imagined thoughts about how we’re being perceived by others. We delight in the discovery of how freeing and empowering it is to be our authentic self.
THE BASICS
What Is Self-Esteem?
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The limitations of language make it difficult to talk about authenticity. The “authentic self” is really a misnomer. It implies that there is some ideal way of being and that we need to find this authentic self, as if it existed apart from our moment-to-moment experiences. If we cling to a construct in our mind about what it means to be our authentic self, we’re missing the point.
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Being authentic is a verb, not a noun. It’s a process of noticing the ever-changing flow of experiencing inside us, apart from the contaminating influences of shame and our inner critic. We give ourselves permission to notice what we’re feeling, sensing, and thinking in this moment—and we’re willing to congruently show that when it feels “right” to do so.
SELF-ESTEEM ESSENTIAL READS
Connecting to Feelings: The Inverse of Pursuing Self-Esteem
The Insecurities Driving Young Adults
Shame recedes by flashing the healing light of mindfulness upon it and working with it gently and skillfully. By recognizing that we have shame, but that we are not the shame, we can more freely enjoy the precious gift of being alive.
© John Amodeo