Chapter 3 (Part 3) Paradiso

[모나리자]

피카르다 도나티와 콘스탄츠 황후. 사랑으로 가슴을 따뜻하게 데워준 태양이, 아름다운 진실의 달콤한 모습을 증명하고 반박하며 내게 보여주었다. 그리고 내가 확신하고 확신에 차 있음을 고백하기 위해, 마땅히 그래야 할 만큼 고개를 더 똑바로 들어 말했다.

하지만 환상이 나타났고, 그것은 나를 그 가까이로 데려가 보여주었다. 그래서 나는 내 고백을 기억하지 못했다. 윤이 나고 투명한 유리를 통해, 혹은 수정처럼 맑은 물을 통해, 하지만 그 수면이 사라질 만큼 깊지는 않은, 우리 얼굴의 윤곽이 다시 희미해져 이마의 하얀 진주가 우리 눈에 빠르게 다가왔다. 나는 즉시 말하고 싶어 하는 많은 얼굴을 보았고, 인간과 샘 사이에 사랑을 불태우는 것과는 정반대로 잘못된 길로 들어섰다.

그것들을 알아차리자마자, 그것들을 거울에 비친 형상으로 여기며, 그것들이 누구인지 보기 위해 눈을 돌렸다.

아무것도 보이지 않자, 다시 한번 그것들을 내 다정한 인도자의 빛으로 향하게 했다. 그 인도자는 거룩한 눈에 미소를 띠고 있었다. "내가 네 유치한 자만심에 미소 짓는다고 해서 놀라지 마라." 그녀가 내게 말했다. "진실은 아직 그 발을 믿지 않고, 늘 그렇듯 너를 공허에 두기 때문이다. 네가 보는 것은 바로 이것들이다. 어떤 서약을 어긴 탓에 여기 버려두었다.

그러니 그들과 이야기하고, 듣고, 믿으라. 그들에게 평화를 주는 참된 빛은 그들이 그 빛에서 발을 돌리지 못하게 한다." 그리고 나는 가장 간절히 원하는 듯한 그림자에게 말을 건넸고, 마치 너무 큰 열망에 당황한 사람처럼 말을 시작했습니다. "오, 잘 창조된 영혼이여, 영원한 삶의 광선 속에서 맛보지 않은 달콤함을 맛보는 이여, 당신의 이름과 운명으로 나를 만족시켜 준다면 나는 감사할 것입니다."

그녀는 재빨리 웃는 눈으로 말했다. "우리의 사랑은 정의로운 소망에 대해 문을 닫지 않습니다. 다만 모든 궁정이 자기와 같기를 바라는 분의 뜻일 뿐입니다. 저는 세상에서 순결한 자매였습니다.

그리고 당신의 마음이 저를 잘 살펴본다면, 더 아름다운 존재가 저를 당신에게서 숨기지 않을 것입니다. 하지만 당신은 제가 피카르다임을 알아볼 것입니다. 저는 이 축복받은 다른 이들 가운데에 서 있지만, 저는 가장 느린 영역에서 축복받았습니다. 우리의 모든 애정은 성령의 기쁨 안에서만 불타오르며, 그분의 질서에 따라 형성된 것을 기뻐합니다. 그리고 이 몫은 매우 낮아 보이지만,

그러므로 우리의 서약이 소홀히 되었고 어떤 부분은 무효였기에 우리에게 주어졌습니다." 그래서 나는 그녀에게 말했다. "당신의 기적적인 모습 속에는 내가 알지 못하는 신의 빛이 비치고 있습니다. 그 신의 빛이 당신을 처음의 생각에서 변화시킵니다.

그래서 기억이 잘 나지 않았습니다. 하지만 당신이 지금 말씀하시는 것이 도움이 되어, 제가 다시 상상하기가 더 쉬워졌습니다. 하지만 말해 보세요, 이곳에서 행복한 당신들은 더 높은 곳을 원하십니까? 더 많은 것을 보고 싶습니까, 아니면 더 많은 친구를 사귀고 싶습니까?" 그녀는 먼저 다른 그늘을 가지고 살짝 미소 지었다. 그러자 기쁨으로 가득 찬 그녀는 사랑의 첫 불꽃에 타오르는 듯 내게 대답했다. "형제여, 우리의 의지는 자선의 힘으로 가라앉습니다. 자선은 우리가 가진 것만을 바라게 하고, 더 많은 것을 갈구하게 하지 않습니다.

우리가 더 높이 올라가기를 갈망한다 해도, 우리의 열망은 우리를 여기 고립시키시는 분의 뜻과 어긋날 것입니다. 이 세상에는 자선이 자리 잡을 곳이 없음을 알게 되실 것입니다. 자선 안에 있는 것이 여기서 필요하고, 그 본성을 잘 살펴본다면, 아니, 이 축복받은 존재에 필수적인 것은 신성한 의지 안에 자신을 유지하는 것입니다. 그 의지로 우리의 소망 자체가 하나가 됩니다. 그래서 우리가 이 영역 전체에서 지위 위에 있는 것처럼, 이 영역 전체가, 자신의 뜻을 우리의 뜻으로 삼으시는 왕께도 기쁩니다.

그리고 그의 뜻은 우리의 평화입니다. 이것은 바다이며, 바다가 창조하는 모든 것과 자연이 만드는 모든 것을 향해 나아가고 있습니다." 그때 하늘 어디에나 낙원이 있다는 것이 분명해졌습니다. 비록 지극한 선의 은총이 조금도 내리지 않더라도 말입니다. 하지만 어떤 음식이 배를 채우고 다른 음식에 대한 갈망이 여전히 남아 있다면, 우리는 이것을 구하고 저것을 감사함으로 거절합니다. 나 역시 그렇게 했습니다. 몸짓과 말로, 그녀가 북을 끝까지 휘두르지 못한 그물이 무엇인지 그녀에게서 알아내려고 했습니다.

"하늘 높은 곳에 완벽한 삶과 공덕이 있네. 우리 위에 한 여인이 있네." 그녀가 말했다. "그분의 통치에 따라 당신 세상에서 그들은 옷을 입고 베일을 쓰네. 죽을 때까지 모든 서약을 받아들이고, 그의 기쁨에 부합하는 사랑을 베푸는 그 배우자 곁에서 지켜보고 잠들 수 있도록 말이야. 어린 시절 그녀를 따라 세상을 떠났고, 그녀의 수도복 안에 몸을 숨기고 그녀의 종파의 길에 서약했지. 그러자 선보다 악에 더 익숙한 사람들이 아름다운 수도원에서 나를 떼어놓았지.

그 후 내 삶이 어떻게 되었는지는 신만이 아실 거야. 네게는 내 오른편에 드러나고, 우리 세계의 모든 빛으로 불타오르는 이 다른 광채가, 내 자신에 대해 말하자면 그녀에게 해당하는 것이야. 그녀는 수녀였고, 마찬가지로 그녀의 머리에서 신성한 주름의 그림자가 드리워졌지.

하지만 그녀 역시 세상으로 돌아갔을 때, 그녀의 바람과 관습에 반하여, 마음의 베일을 결코 벗지 않았지. 위대한 콘스탄차에게 이것은 수아비아의 두 번째 바람에서 세 번째이자 마지막 활력을 가져온 광채." 그녀는 나에게 이렇게 말한 후 "아베 마리아"를 부르기 시작했고, 깊은 물속으로 무언가 무거운 것이 사라지듯 노래하는 동안 사라졌다.

가능한 한 오랫동안 그녀를 따라다니던 내 시선은 그녀를 잃었을 때 더 큰 욕망의 표식으로 돌아섰고, 온전히 베아트리체에게로 돌아갔다. 그러나 그녀는 내 눈에 번개처럼 번쩍였다. 처음에는 내 시선이 견디지 못했고, 이것은 나를 더욱 뒤로 물러나게 했다.

Chapter 3

 Piccarda Donati and the Empress Constance. That Sun, which erst with love my bosom warmed, Of beauteous truth had unto me discovered, By proving and reproving, the sweet aspect. And, that I might confess myself convinced And confident, so far as was befitting, I lifted more erect my head to speak.

But there appeared a vision, which withdrew me So close to it, in order to be seen, That my confession I remembered not. Such as through polished and transparent glass, Or waters crystalline and undisturbed, But not so deep as that their bed be lost, Come back again the outlines of our faces So feeble, that a pearl on forehead white Comes not less speedily unto our eyes; Such saw I many faces prompt to speak, So that I ran in error opposite To that which kindled love 'twixt man and fountain.

As soon as I became aware of them, Esteeming them as mirrored semblances, To see of whom they were, mine eyes I turned,

And nothing saw, and once more turned them forward Direct into the light of my sweet Guide, Who smiling kindled in her holy eyes. "Marvel thou not," she said to me, "because I smile at this thy puerile conceit, Since on the truth it trusts not yet its foot, But turns thee, as 'tis wont, on emptiness. True substances are these which thou beholdest, Here relegate for breaking of some vow.

Therefore speak with them, listen and believe; For the true light, which giveth peace to them, Permits them not to turn from it their feet." And I unto the shade that seemed most wishful To speak directed me, and I began, As one whom too great eagerness bewilders: "O well-created spirit, who in the rays Of life eternal dost the sweetness taste Which being untasted ne'er is comprehended, Grateful 'twill be to me, if thou content me Both with thy name and with your destiny."

Whereat she promptly and with laughing eyes: "Our charity doth never shut the doors Against a just desire, except as one Who wills that all her court be like herself. I was a virgin sister in the world;

And if thy mind doth contemplate me well, The being more fair will not conceal me from thee, But thou shalt recognise I am Piccarda, Who, stationed here among these other blessed, Myself am blessed in the slowest sphere. All our affections, that alone inflamed Are in the pleasure of the Holy Ghost, Rejoice at being of his order formed; And this allotment, which appears so low,

Therefore is given us, because our vows Have been neglected and in some part void." Whence I to her: "In your miraculous aspects There shines I know not what of the divine, Which doth transform you from our first conceptions.

Therefore I was not swift in my remembrance; But what thou tellest me now aids me so, That the refiguring is easier to me. But tell me, ye who in this place are happy, Are you desirous of a higher place, To see more or to make yourselves more friends?" First with those other shades she smiled a little; Thereafter answered me so full of gladness, She seemed to burn in the first fire of love: "Brother, our will is quieted by virtue Of charity, that makes us wish alone For what we have, nor gives us thirst for more.

If to be more exalted we aspired, Discordant would our aspirations be Unto the will of Him who here secludes us; Which thou shalt see finds no place in these circles, If being in charity is needful here, And if thou lookest well into its nature; Nay, 'tis essential to this blest existence To keep itself within the will divine, Whereby our very wishes are made one; So that, as we are station above station Throughout this realm, to all the realm 'tis pleasing, As to the King, who makes his will our will.

And his will is our peace; this is the sea To which is moving onward whatsoever It doth create, and all that nature makes." Then it was clear to me how everywhere In heaven is Paradise, although the grace Of good supreme there rain not in one measure. But as it comes to pass, if one food sates, And for another still remains the longing, We ask for this, and that decline with thanks, E'en thus did I; with gesture and with word, To learn from her what was the web wherein She did not ply the shuttle to the end.

"A perfect life and merit high in-heaven A lady o'er us," said she, "by whose rule Down in your world they vest and veil themselves, That until death they may both watch and sleep Beside that Spouse who every vow accepts Which charity conformeth to his pleasure. To follow her, in girlhood from the world I fled, and in her habit shut myself, And pledged me to the pathway of her sect. Then men accustomed unto evil more Than unto good, from the sweet cloister tore me;

God knows what afterward my life became. This other splendour, which to thee reveals Itself on my right side, and is enkindled With all the illumination of our sphere, What of myself I say applies to her; A nun was she, and likewise from her head Was ta'en the shadow of the sacred wimple.

But when she too was to the world returned Against her wishes and against good usage, Of the heart's veil she never was divested. Of great Costanza this is the effulgence, Who from the second wind of Suabia Brought forth the third and latest puissance." Thus unto me she spake, and then began "Ave Maria" singing, and in singing Vanished, as through deep water something heavy.

My sight, that followed her as long a time As it was possible, when it had lost her Turned round unto the mark of more desire, And wholly unto Beatrice reverted; But she such lightnings flashed into mine eyes, That at the first my sight endured it not; And this in questioning more backward made me.