PART 2 // chapter 4-4

[모나리자]

그 여인은 가장 큰 소리로 비명을 질렀고, 사람들이 달려들었다. '그게 바로 당신이 하는 짓이군요!' '저를 이런 경찰관에게 데려가세요. 모든 걸 자백할게요.' 글쎄요, 그들은 그를 적절한 호위와 함께 그 경찰서로 데려갔어요. 그래서 그들은 그에게 이것저것, 그의 나이, '22살' 등등을 물었습니다. '드미트리와 함께 일할 때, 이런저런 시간에 계단에 있는 사람을 보지 못했습니까?'라는 질문에 대답은 다음과 같습니다.

'물론 사람들이 위아래로 왔다 갔다 했을 수도 있지만, 저는 그들을 눈치채지 못했습니다.' '그리고 아무것도, 소음도, 그런 건 듣지 못했습니까?' '특별한 건 듣지 못했습니다.' '그리고 니콜라이, 같은 날 과부인 이런저런과 그녀의 자매가 살해되고 강도를 당했다는 걸 들었습니까?' '저는 그것에 대해 전혀 몰랐습니다. 내가 처음 들은 건 그저께 아파나시 파블로비치가 한 말이었습니다.' '귀걸이는 어디서 찾았어?' '길에서 발견했어.' '저번에 드미트리랑 같이 일하러 가지 않은 건 왜야?' '술을 마셨거든.' '어디서 마셨어?' '아, 이런저런 곳에서.' '두슈킨네 집에서 왜 도망쳤어?' '너무 무서웠거든.'

'무엇을 무서웠어?' '내가 고소당할까봐.' '죄책감이 없다고 느낀다면 어떻게 무서울 수 있어?' 이제, 조시모프, 믿지 못할지도 몰라. 그 질문은 문자 그대로 그 말로 표현된 거야. 나는 그것을 확실히 알고 있어. 정확히 반복해서 들었어! 뭐라고 하겠니?" "음, 어쨌든 증거가 있어." "지금은 증거에 대해 말하는 게 아니라, 그 질문, 그들이 스스로에 대해 생각하는 것에 대해 말하는 거야. 글쎄요, 그래서 그들은 그를 꽉 쥐고 꽉 쥐었고 그는 자백했습니다. '거리에서 발견한 게 아니라 드미트리와 함께 그림을 그리던 아파트에서 발견했어요.' '어떻게 된 거예요?'

'왜요, 드미트리와 저는 하루 종일 그곳에서 그림을 그렸고, 막 출발할 준비를 하고 있었는데, 드미트리가 붓을 들고 제 얼굴에 페인트를 칠했고, 그는 도망갔고 저는 그를 따라갔어요. 저는 그를 따라가며 온 힘을 다해 소리쳤고, 계단 아래에서 저는 문지기와 몇몇 신사들에게 바로 달려갔어요. 그리고 얼마나 많은 신사들이 있었는지 기억이 나지 않아요.

그리고 문지기가 저에게 욕을 했고, 다른 문지기도 욕을 했고, 문지기의 아내가 나와서 우리에게 욕을 했고, 한 신사가 한 여인과 함께 입구로 들어와서 우리에게 욕을 했고, 드미트리와 저는 바로 길 건너편에 누워 있었거든요. 저는 드미트리의 머리카락을 잡고 그를 쓰러뜨리고 때리기 시작했습니다.

그리고 드미트리도 내 머리카락을 잡고 때리기 시작했습니다. 하지만 우리는 모두 화를 내기 위해서가 아니라 우호적인 방식으로, 스포츠를 위해 그렇게 했습니다. 그리고 드미트리는 도망쳐 거리로 달려갔고, 나는 그를 쫓아갔지만, 나는 그를 잡지 못하고 혼자 집으로 돌아갔습니다. 나는 내 물건을 치워야 했습니다.

나는 드미트리가 올 것이라고 기대하며 물건을 정리하기 시작했고, 복도에서 문 옆 구석에서 상자를 밟았습니다. 종이에 싸여 있는 것이 보였습니다. 종이를 벗기고 작은 갈고리를 보고 풀었고, 상자 안에는 귀걸이가 있었습니다....’”

“문 뒤에? 문 뒤에? 문 뒤에?” 라스콜니코프가 갑자기 소리치며 공포에 질린 표정으로 라주미힌을 응시했고, 그는 천천히 소파에 앉아 손에 기대었습니다. “그래... 왜? 뭐가 문제야? 뭐가 잘못됐어?”

라주미힌도 자리에서 일어났습니다. "아무것도." 라스콜니코프가 희미하게 대답하며

벽을 돌아보았다. 모두가 잠시 침묵했다. "그는 꿈에서 깨어난 모양이군." 라주미힌이 마침내 조시모프를 의아하게 바라보며 말했다.

조시모프는 살짝 고개를 저었다. "자, 계속해." 조시모프가 말했다. "그 다음은?" "그 다음은? 그는 귀걸이를 보자마자 드미트리와 모든 것을 잊고 모자를 쓰고 두슈킨에게 달려갔고, 우리가 알다시피 그에게서 루블을 받았다. 그는 거리에서 발견했다고 거짓말을 하고 술을 마셨다.

그는 살인에 대한 오래된 이야기를 계속 반복한다. '전혀 몰라요. 그저께까지 들어본 적이 없어요.' '그리고 왜 지금까지 경찰에 오지 않았어요?' '무서웠어요.' '그리고 왜 목을 매달려고 했어요?' '불안해서요.' '무슨 불안이에요?' '내가 그 혐의를 받을까봐.' 글쎄요, 그게 전부 이야기예요.

그리고 이제 그들이 그것으로부터 무엇을 추론했을 것이라고 생각하십니까?" "아니, 추측할 수 없습니다. 단서가 있습니다. 사실입니다. 당신은 화가를 풀어주길 원하지 않겠습니까?" "이제 그들은 그를 살인자로 몰았습니다. 그들은 의심의 여지가 없습니다."

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The woman screeched her hardest; people ran in. ‘So that’s what you are up to!’ ‘Take me,’ he says, ‘to such-and-such a police officer; I’ll confess everything.’ Well, they took him to that police station—that is here—with a suitable escort. So they asked him this and that, how old he is, ‘twenty-two,’ and so on. At the question, ‘When you were working with Dmitri, didn’t you see anyone on the staircase at such-and-such a time?’—answer:

‘To be sure folks may have gone up and down, but I did not notice them.’ ‘And didn’t you hear anything, any noise, and so on?’ ‘We heard nothing special.’ ‘And did you hear, Nikolay, that on the same day Widow So-and-so and her sister were murdered and robbed?’ ‘I never knew a thing about it. The first I heard of it was from Afanasy Pavlovitch the day before yesterday.’ ‘And where did you find the ear-rings?’ ‘I found them on the pavement.’ ‘Why didn’t you go to work with Dmitri the other day?’ ‘Because I was drinking.’ ‘And where were you drinking?’ ‘Oh, in such-and-such a place.’ ‘Why did you run away from Dushkin’s?’ ‘Because I was awfully frightened.’

‘What were you frightened of?’ ‘That I should be accused.’ ‘How could you be frightened, if you felt free from guilt?’ Now, Zossimov, you may not believe me, that question was put literally in those words. I know it for a fact, it was repeated to me exactly! What do you say to that?” “Well, anyway, there’s the evidence.” “I am not talking of the evidence now, I am talking about that question, of their own idea of themselves. Well, so they squeezed and squeezed him and he confessed: ‘I did not find it in the street, but in the flat where I was painting with Dmitri.’ ‘And how was that?’

‘Why, Dmitri and I were painting there all day, and we were just getting ready to go, and Dmitri took a brush and painted my face, and he ran off and I after him. I ran after him, shouting my hardest, and at the bottom of the stairs I ran right against the porter and some gentlemen—and how many gentlemen were there I don’t remember.

And the porter swore at me, and the other porter swore, too, and the porter’s wife came out, and swore at us, too; and a gentleman came into the entry with a lady, and he swore at us, too, for Dmitri and I lay right across the way. I got hold of Dmitri’s hair and knocked him down and began beating him.

And Dmitri, too, caught me by the hair and began beating me. But we did it all not for temper but in a friendly way, for sport. And then Dmitri escaped and ran into the street, and I ran after him; but I did not catch him, and went back to the flat alone; I had to clear up my things.

I began putting them together, expecting Dmitri to come, and there in the passage, in the corner by the door, I stepped on the box. I saw it lying there wrapped up in paper. I took off the paper, saw some little hooks, undid them, and in the box were the ear-rings....’”

“Behind the door? Lying behind the door? Behind the door?” Raskolnikov cried suddenly, staring with a blank look of terror at Razumihin, and he slowly sat up on the sofa, leaning on his hand. “Yes... why? What’s the matter? What’s wrong?”

Razumihin, too, got up from his seat. “Nothing,” Raskolnikov answered faintly,

turning to the wall. All were silent for a while. “He must have waked from a dream,” Razumihin said at last, looking inquiringly at Zossimov.

The latter slightly shook his head. “Well, go on,” said Zossimov. “What next?” “What next? As soon as he saw the ear-rings, forgetting Dmitri and everything, he took up his cap and ran to Dushkin and, as we know, got a rouble from him. He told a lie saying he found them in the street, and went off drinking.

He keeps repeating his old story about the murder: ‘I know nothing of it, never heard of it till the day before yesterday.’ ‘And why didn’t you come to the police till now?’ ‘I was frightened.’ ‘And why did you try to hang yourself?’ ‘From anxiety.’ ‘What anxiety?’ ‘That I should be accused of it.’ Well, that’s the whole story.

And now what do you suppose they deduced from that?” “Why, there’s no supposing. There’s a clue, such as it is, a fact. You wouldn’t have your painter set free?” “Now they’ve simply taken him for the murderer. They haven’t a shadow of doubt.”