(토요모임) [18th Mar. 2017] Saturday meeting Topic

[Scarlet]

Howdy ! 

It's me Scarlett !   

This week we have 3 topics. 

◈ Social issue :  Rovert Kelly's BBC viral video 

----------- ‘BBC Dad’ Parody Hilariously Imagines How a Mom Would React to Kids Crashing Her Interview

----------- Why did people assume an Asian woman in BBC viral video was the nanny?

◈ Art of living : 6 Things You Should Do When You’re Mentally Drained 

◈ Friendship

----------- The Purpose Of Friendship: The Only 4 Types Of Friends You Need In Life

----------- Making New Friends Gets A Lot Harder As We Grow Up Because We Are Not As Open As We Were

----------- I Deleted 564 Friends On Facebook But I Have Saved 100 Real Life Friendships

Hope you enjoy the topics. 

With luv 

Scarlett

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‘BBC Dad’ Parody Hilariously Imagines How a Mom Would React to Kids Crashing Her Interview

March 17, 2017 @ 10:58 AM/ By  Evan Real

Supermom! A new parody of the viral “BBC Dad” video imagines how a mother would have reacted to her kids crashing an interview. Watch the funny clip above.

In the video, produced by New Zealand’s Jono and Ben comedy show and published Thursday, March 16, Robert Kelly's female equivalent, Kate Wordsworth, calmly answers questions about the political crisis in South Korea as her daughter walks into the room.

Unfazed, Wordsworth nonchalantly gives her toddler a bottle before sending her off. And when her son strolls through, she simply hands him a toy and continues her discussion about the impeachment of South Korea’s Park Geun-hye.

'BBC Dad' parody

But her multitasking doesn’t end there. Wordsworth then pulls out a platter with a roast chicken on it, sniffing the dinner she prepared as her interview presses on. Next, she steams a men’s shirt, proving that she can juggle several tasks at once. Oh, and she scrubs a toilet that randomly shows up in the right corner of the screen, because why not?

Then SWAT teams come in with a bomb, which Wordsworth expertly diffuses with a pair of pliers. And finally, her husband walks in asking where his missing sock is before the interview concludes.

Article source : http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/bbc-dad-parody-shows-mom-reacting-to-kids-crashing-interview-w472596

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Why did people assume an Asian woman in BBC viral video was the nanny?

By Helier Cheung/ BBC News/ 11 March 2017

By now, most of the Internet seems to have seen the video of a BBC interview being interrupted by two small children.

International Relations professor Robert Kelly's interview about South Korea was briefly interrupted when his two small children walked in.

He managed to keep his composure, and his wife ushered the two young intruders out.

The video has been viewed hundreds of million times - and delighted hundreds of thousands of people on social media.

But it didn't go unnoticed that many people - including some media outlets, had assumed that Prof Kelly's wife, Jung-a Kim, was the nanny.

It's sparked a wider discussion about assumptions about race, gender, and mixed-race couples.

Was it reasonable to assume Ms Kim was a nanny?

Jung-a Kim ushered the children out quickly while Prof Kelly continued the interview

Some families in South Korea do hire nannies - especially if both parents work long hours.

But many people feel the assumption that Ms Kim was a helper, rather than the children's mother, was grounded in racial stereotypes about the roles played by Asian women.

Not everyone thinks this is fair. Some have argued that the look of panic on Ms Kim's face, and the way she speedily ushered out the children, suggested that she was the nanny - and concerned for her job.

But others say she behaved as only a mother would - and that she was obviously anxious that her husband's interview not be disrupted further.

Either way, it's fair to say Korean speakers would have known she was the mother - because during the video, the daughter appears to say: "Why? What's wrong?" and "Mummy, why?"

What sort of assumptions do people make about Asian women?

Conscious - or unconscious bias, does happen sometimes.

When I was at university in London, most people I met assumed that I (as a British Chinese student) was studying either medicine or economics - when I was actually studying English literature.

It was a little annoying, but not a huge deal. But sometimes assumptions can be more hurtful.

Sadly, I am not a doctor

One journalist of Indian descent says when she went to work at a regional newspaper, the receptionist mistook her for a cleaner, and asked her: "Are you here to clean the kitchen?"

And Kumiko Toda, an academic of Japanese descent, says a majority of people who meet her for the first time ask her where she's from - despite her growing up in the UK and having a British accent.

It also seems to have affected how some strangers interact with her.

"I was surprised when chatting about street harassment with my friends who are white - they had quite different experiences," she says.

"They said they did not experience nearly as much as I did and the comments tended to be less patronising, although just as bothersome in other ways.

"I wonder whether my ethnicity and the perception of East Asian women as being submissive has something to do with the frequency and the nature of the harassment I experience."

Are people still surprised by mixed-race couples?

Jonathan Smith and Tiffany Wong

Another factor that may have led to the assumptions that Ms Kim was a nanny, is the fact that many still assume, consciously or unconsciously, that people tend to date others from the same ethnic group.

Once, I was at a concert with three male friends - two white English, and one British Chinese - and everyone I spoke to assumed that I was dating the Chinese guy.

Tiffany Wong and Jonathan Smith, a couple in the UK, say they experienced some discrimination from strangers when they started dating, although it was very much the exception rather than the norm.

"We have had people shout stuff at us - once, when we were walking down the street, a guy yelled 'it's so sad you're going with an Asian girl' to John," Tiffany says.

Some of their colleagues and family were also initially surprised when they realised they were dating someone of another race.

"When I mention my fiancee at work, people normally just assume she's Caucasian, and they might be surprised to learn she's not. It's not offensive - it's just that their first thought is that you date someone from your own race," John says.

Does everyone make assumptions though?

Some have argued that assuming that Ms Kim was the nanny is a sign of white-centric bias.

But others have argued it's a chance for people to revisit their assumptions.

And assumptions about race can be a two-way street.

Helen (not her real name), a Filipina nanny working in South Korea, says she has noticed that some "Koreans are very particular about skin colour" and appear to discriminate against some people with darker skin.

Meanwhile, Andrew Wood, a BBC journalist who worked in South Korea for two years, says he was often mistaken for a US soldier while he was there.

"Taxi drivers would rarely stop for white men on Friday or Saturday night as they allegedly assumed white men were drunk soldiers who would vomit in the back of their cabs."

Article source : http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-39244325?ocid=socialflow_facebook&ns_mchannel=social&ns_campaign=bbcnews&ns_source=facebook

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<Questions>

Q1. Did you watch this BBC viral movie clip? How did you feel about that? 

Q2. After watching the parody on Rovert Kelly's movie clip, how did you feel about the reality of women?

Q3. If you are in Professor Rovert's shoes how would you tackle this situation? 

Q4. Have you ever been discriminated by others due to your race? 

Q5. Did you also think that the woman in this movie clip was a nanny? 

Q6. What sort of assumptions do people make about Asian women?

Q7. What do you feel about the mixed-race couples?

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6 Things You Should Do When You’re Mentally Drained

(Instead Of Resting On The Couch)

Erica Wagner/ Freelance Writer

 

At one point or another, we all burn out. It wouldn’t be wrong to think that plopping yourself down on the couch for a few days would leave you feeling recharged. You may not know this, but physical fatigue can have more to do with mental exhaustion than the exercise you’re getting that day. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to once in a while take a day, maybe even two and give your body some time to rest. However, it isn’t always the most effective approach when you’re feeling mentally drained. In fact, being a couch potato could actually result in you feeling more drained. Below I’ve listed some effective ways to recharge your mind when it starts feeling burned out.

Change up your routine

It really can be hard to not fall into a routine. Every day you’re doing the same thing over and over, but breaking up that routine can be a really good way to kick that mental exhaustion. Make a point to challenge yourself to do something totally new once a week. I mean, if you’re feeling really enthusiastic, try doing something new once a day. It can be something really simple. Instead of taking your usual way to work, take a different one that may be more scenic. Think about activities that you enjoy that really feed your soul and start doing them. When your mind is opened to new ways of thinking and perceiving, you tend to be much happier overall.

Keep a journal

Keeping a journal is a great way to relieve stress and get it all out on paper.[1] It can be really helpful down the road because it gives you the opportunity to look back and reflect on the progress you’ve made in your life. Journaling also jolts your creativity, builds confidence, boosts comprehension, and encourages you to follow through with goals. It shouldn’t be something that makes you put pressure on yourself, you don’t need to have an entry for every day either. Write down what comes to mind, you’ll feel such a release when you’ve finished. Make it a priority to write in your journal a few times a week. Eventually, you’ll find writing to be an outlet for recharging your brain.

Meditate

You may have seen this one coming. There are so many articles and people out there who rant and rave about the benefits of meditation, but it truly works. Roughly 80 percent of doctor visits are for stress-related issues. A lot of money and time can be saved if you learn to practice self-care through meditation. It can reduce stress, boost immunity, improve sleep, and can quite possibly increase happiness. Five minutes a day is really all you need. Over time you may find meditating more than once a day for longer periods of time is even more beneficial for your mental well-being. As a side note, people who consistently meditate are usually more rational and feel less anxiety when they are confronted with challenges.[2]

Re-eval‎uate your relationships

Having relationships is very important, but it’s even more important to really be mindful of how healthy they are. You may find that you have a few toxic relationships in your life. It may seem difficult to end these relationships because often times you grow to be comfortable in them. Sadly, dysfunctional relationships may become a ‘normal’ part of life and you may not realize how mentally exhausting they can be.

Take time to be mindful of all your relationships. It’s crucial to once in a while reassess and decide whether they are adding value to your life and well-being. In toxic romantic relationships, you can become extremely mentally drained when you’re  putting energy into something that just may not be right. People who are mindful of their relationships typically tend to be more confident in their own judgment.

Get some exercise

Exercise isn’t just beneficial for your overall well-being, it’s helpful for when you’re feeling mentally drained as well. You don’t need to get a gym membership to get activity in. We’re all busy, I get it, but setting aside just 20 minutes a day can really make all the difference. Multiple studies have shown the value of exercise in boosting your concentration and mental focus.[3] With a daily 20-minute intense workout, blood flow to the brain increases and you improve your mood, creativity, and memory.

Ditch your ego, be mindful of your soul

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

This can get confused with doing something that brings you a sense of achievement. That feeling of achievement won’t always necessarily bring you joy. Spending a few extra hours at work to get things done can be productive but powering through can really burn you out. Allow yourself to buy the shoes you’ve been wanting to buy for weeks, or take a spontaneous weekend trip with friends or your significant other. In the grand scheme of things, our time on earth really is short. Whatever it may be that you choose to do, do it because it truly brings genuine joy to your soul.

Article source : http://www.lifehack.org/522705/6-things-you-should-do-when-youre-mentally-drained-instead-of-resting-on-the-couch

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<Questions>

Q1. Have you ever burnt out? How did you overcome it? 

Q2. This article suggest some therapies to overcome lethargy. Do you think which one is the most effective measures? 

- Change up your routine

- Keep a journal

- Meditate

- Re-eval‎‎uate your relationships

- Get some exercise

- DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

Q3. Please tell us your ordinary days at work. 

Q4. Do you keep a journal? What is the benefits of keeping a journal? 

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The Purpose Of Friendship: The Only 4 Types Of Friends You Need In Life

Anna Chui/ Editor. Life Enthusiast. Amateur Musician.

Are you aware that as you grow up, friendship is the thing that drifts away most easily? Work, vacation, relationships, family times — they’re all so important to life that it’s just hard to put friendship at a higher priority.  

Have you ever been at supper at a friend’s home, you and your friends just didn’t have anything to talk about and had to force yourselves to just talk about something, like “so how have you been recently?”, or “oh the pasta is really nice…”?

This kind of awkward situation only leaves us wondering what friendship is for; but then, we also feel uncomfortable to have to declare that friendship has to be for something — how contradicting we are.

Here’s some good news for you…

Friendship does have its purpose, and having a purpose doesn’t ruin true friendship.

People come to your life for a reason. (Duh.) People do come together to become friends for some reasons though.

Alex Lickerman, the author of The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self talks about the things that draw people together as friends.

Instead of building friendships with random people, we tend to build bonds with people who share the common interests, share common values, have gone through the same difficulties, and who support each other equally.[1]

We’re being selective about friends because not everyone can serve the purpose of being able to exchange thoughts and feelings with us.

When we get to know people, there are four things we really look for.[2]

Firstly, we want reassurance so we know we’re not alone in being a specific way.

Everyone of us has our weak spots. There’s always something that we aren’t satisfied with, or some thoughts that we’re reluctant to share with others because we’re afraid of being judged or being let down.

We need the kind of friend who understands our thoughts and weaknesses; so we can feel comfortable to let down our guard and be comfortable with who we are.

We also want to have fun with people who we can be silly with.

Life is stressful; and we’re taught to always be serious and mature at work and in life as a grown-up. Imagine yourself as an elastic band, if you kept on pulling yourself and stayed tense, you’d eventually break. That’s exactly what would happen if we didn’t get enough fun in life.

Friends here, serve the purpose of letting you be as silly as you want and share the joy and excitement with you.

And we need someone’s help to clarify our minds.

We’re all imperfect people, sometimes we are confused and our minds go chaotic.

For example, very often we are frustrated at work and not quite sure why, but after we share our confusions with friends, we somehow get things figured out and have a clearer mind to go back to work.

A thinking friend who gives us constructive advice and asks us probing questions can inspire us to solve our problems and get to know ourselves better.

Finally, we network to seek collaborators to help us achieve our goals.

We have our own dreams and goals but we are small and fragile as an individual. To get things going, we need collaborators to align their abilities and energies with ours.

Take Emma Watson as an example, she’s an activist in feminism, and she networks to gather like-minded people who also aspire to fight for gender equality through the HeForShe campaign and the feminist book club Our Shared Shelf.

The spiritual core reason for a friendship is help us change and grow.

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said,[3]

“You’re the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.”

This relates to the law of averages,[4] a theory that the result of anything will be the average of all outcomes.

So if you want to grow, be successful, or simply be happy and positive; the people you spend time with matter.

Moving on from some friendships simply means you’ve understood what real friendship is like.

You may ask, “what about those who don’t share my ambitions or interests? And those who can’t reassure my existence? Or those who I don’t really feel comfortable to be silly with?”

As time goes, you probably will feel difficult to stay friends with these people. Dare to let go of some people who don’t help you change and grow as a better and a happier person.

It doesn’t mean you’ve lost hope or belief in friendship, it simply means you’ve understood what a real friendship is like.

Move on from the friendships that you can hardly maintain. You don’t need to deny having these friends, and you can keep the memories with you. Moving on is just a way to help you get closer to true friendships that are best for you and others.

This article is inspired by The School of Life’s The Purpose of Friendship. Watch the full video here.

Article source : http://www.lifehack.org/560546/the-only-4-types-friends-you-need-life

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Making New Friends Gets A Lot Harder As We Grow Up Because We Are Not As Open As We Were

Ana Erkic/ Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

It kind of makes sense, that as we grow older it is much harder to sustain friendships, let alone make new ones. There are a number of reasons for this. First of all, as careers, relationships and kids become our priorities, there is simply not enough time to chill all day with our besties and talk about everything. Moreover, as we get more mature, we get pickier about who we spend our precious time with. Remember when you were a teenager, you could hardly count all the members of your squad? And now, you can barely have one person to talk to once a month. Yet, this doesn’t have to be the end of your social life. Even better yet, now it is the time to make true and closer friendships that will last for a lifetime. Let’s learn how.

The new old friends

In order to warm up for creating new friendships, you can try reconnecting with the old ones first. This doesn’t mean we have to call each and every person we met, no matter how much we liked them. We all know a couple of great people we used to hang out with, that we simply stopped seeing due to our busy schedules. Make time to make a couple of phone calls and see how they are doing. This could be beneficial in many ways:

- Firstly, you will be much more comfortable meeting new people once you start in the familiar ground.

- Secondly, you may make more honest and open friendships with those people now that you have matured and are ready for more meaningful connections.

- Finally, old friends have probably met some new people that could potentially be your new friends as well.

Now that you have made the first step with the old friends, it is time to make some new ones. Here are some suggestions as how to make genuine connection with people you meet.

Be interested rather than interesting

When found in a new social group, most of us would focus on being interesting so as to make people like us. This is fine up to a point, but, if we are looking for ways to connect with people on a deeper level, we should prioritize listening instead of entertaining. People like when they feel they are being heard and when others show honest interest in their thoughts, feelings and beliefs about anything. By actively listening to what someone is expressing, we would show that we are not shallow and narcissistic, but respectful and caring. Moreover, once we take an interest in other people’s lives, we would be much more able to find things we have in common and build on that as we move forward.

Put yourself out there

In order to get something, you have to be able to give something too. Don’t be afraid to share some of your personal thoughts, feelings, or struggles with others. Being vulnerable will make you more human and people will respond to that. This doesn’t mean that you have to go around and tell all of your secrets to everyone who says “Hi!” to you. Once you meet people who you feel you can trust and have a lot in common with, feel free to be more vulnerable and share a bit more. This makes a bridge between good friends to very close friends. As we open up, we are letting people to truly get to know us, which makes us go from an acquaintance to a real human being in their eyes. Also, people will be much more willing to share their deepest feelings with us, as they will feel they can trust us and find a kindred spirit and a loyal friend in us.

Article source : http://www.lifehack.org/555996/making-new-friends-gets-lot-harder-grow-because-are-not-open-were

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I Deleted 564 Friends On Facebook But I Have Saved 100 Real Life Friendships

Jolie Choi/ Gone through a few heartbreaks and lost hundreds of friends but I am still happy with my life.

I was meeting one of my best friends from college last weekend. She lives abroad for work but she will come back at least once a year; every time she’s back she will definitely make an effort to see me and It feels like she never left.

During our chat, she asked: “Do you think it’s getting a lot harder to make friends as we grow up?” I laughed and said: “Who doesn’t think like that?”

Her question stuck in my mind that night, and suddenly I came up with another thought.

I opened my Facebook. Slowly and gradually, I deleted 564 friends that night.

Making friends is actually a lot easier than you think.

Let me prove this.

Imagine you met someone interesting at a party and you feel like it would be great if you guys could stay connected after the party. So the next thing you did was get onto Facebook, search the name, move your fingertip to the magic button “Add friends” and JOB DONE!

Just one magic click and you guys are friends now. Just as simple as that.

However, I think this redirected me to a deeper question.

What’s the true meaning of friends?

I tried to find an answer by recalling memories on how I made friends before “The Dawn Of Facebook”.

We approach new people, we talk to them, we share, we build trust and most importantly we make connections, in real life. After experiencing parts of our lives together, we value them as “friends.”

Then I asked myself while looking at my Facebook friend list, “How many of them have gone through that process?”

This is why I decided that I didn’t want to get overwhelmed by life updates from people who I don’t even recall who they are.

On Selecting “Who I want to delete?”

It’s hard at first, I’m not lying. It’s not because my reason isn’t strong enough, but when you have your mouse hovering over the unfriend button, everything seems to come to a final end.

No one likes to say goodbye and clicking that unfriend button makes ending the relationship official.

But ask yourself, “If Facebook didn’t exist, would you like that person to get access to that much information about your life?” and “Do you really want to know what’s happening in their lives or are you just afraid of missing out?”

Deleting Facebook friend is just as simple as that.

I don’t mean “hey-it’s-nice-knowing-you-for-a-while-but-we-barely-talk-and-I-feel-like-I-don’t-need-you-in-my-life-now-so-farewell-old-friend”, but the truth is an online goodbye doesn’t equal removing that person entirely from your real life.

True friends stay connected even without the help of Facebook (or any kinds of social media). And it’s kinda scary that we need a constant reminder on that.

Will They Get Mad? Maybe I think too much.

What if they come and ask me, “Why did you delete me on Facebook?” And yes, that sounds a bit awkward, doesn’t it?

No one likes to be ignored or removed but I think the problem is people take online relationships too seriously. 

People might think, “It’s not official until it’s Facebook official!”, but let me remind you of this.

Facebook life is just an Online Life and it doesn’t equal your Actual Life. Why would you spend time on getting social validation instead of having real connections with people you claimed to care about? or at least make an effort to really stay tuned with their lives?

Think about it this way.  How can one honestly be offended if you two don’t write on each other’s walls or feel weird to like each other’s photos or status?

Besides, you might be overthinking because they may not even notice. Either they don’t care or they don’t value social validation as much as you do.

But what if they really ask? Then take this as a good sign. This can mean they do care about you but just getting too busy with their lives to catch up. This gives both of you a good chance to reconnect.

So Now I have fewer friends, on Facebook, then what?

Looking at my “friend list”, the number has shrunk by half but my heart feels a lot more fulfilled and satisfying. Scrolling through my feed, it is clean and clear now.

I can finally see some of the updates from my old friends. I noticed that I have missed a lot of their precious moments because I had too many distractions before. So it’s time to catch up with them, both online and offline.

Decluttering unnecessary relationships doesn’t only free me up for more important people in my life but most importantly, I came to realize my mind and life can be so much simpler if I don’t value social media as much as the social standard does.

Article source : http://www.lifehack.org/559549/deleted-564-friends-facebook-but-have-saved-100-real-life-friendships

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<Questions>

Q1. What is the most important relationship in your life? 

Q2. What are friends for? This article suggest 4 kinds of functions of friendship as below. Which type of friend do you need the most? 

- Friendship for Advice

- Friendship for Alliance

- Friendship for Amusement

- Friendship for Reassurance

Q3. Do you agree that making new friends gets a lot harder as we grow up? Why?

Q4. Have you made any friends over the Internet?

Q5. How do you maintain a good friendship?

Q6. Where is a good place to meet new friends?

Q7. Do you usually contact with your friend in person or through online? Why?

Q8. Do you think it is possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex without becoming a girlfriend or boyfriend?

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