<p class="cafe-editor-text">CARE AND FEEDING<br />Can I Really Dump Friends Just Because They’re Conservative?<br /><br />(Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here)<br /><br />Dear Care and Feeding,<br />During the current political environment and COVID-19 pandemic, I feel the country is heavily divided. My husband, our 10-year old daughter, and I are all progressive liberals. However, one of the families we have hung out with since our daughter was 5 is our polar opposite.<br /><br />They are Trump supporters, make racist comments, don’t believe in climate change, do not support public education, think the whole COVID situation is a political hoax, and don’t wear masks. We have not hung out with this family since before the pandemic.<br /><br />When we used to hang out, they would drop racist comments toward me (I am Asian) and say it was just a joke, or do things we don’t approve of (steal, tread off trail), or now they find us ridiculous to be social distancing. We have had five years of hanging out and traveling together. But, this year, the divide has made me wonder. Is it wrong to not want to hang out with people who has opposite views and do things that I find lack morals? We’ve been social distancing anyway, and this may be an opportunity for us to part ways.<br /><br />—Is Breaking Up Hard to Do?<br /><br />===================<br /><br />Dear IBUHtD,<br /><br />Most friendships are rooted in what you share in common—tastes, hobbies, even politics. A lack of such common ground can make it harder to maintain a real friendship. Life might involve changes in your tastes, your hobbies, your politics, and so many other circumstances (new kids, new jobs, relocating) can contribute to friendships drawing to a close. It happens!<br /><br />You’re worried about whether it’s wrong to end or cool a relationship because of political difference, and I personally don’t think it is. But it’s more to the point, I think, that what you’re describing doesn’t sound like a very good friendship. A good friend isn’t cruel to you about your race; a good friend wouldn’t mock you for choosing to observe social distance when our public health experts agree that’s the right thing to do. The issue isn’t that this family is different from yours politically; it’s that they’re not very good friends. I’d take this opportunity to part ways and feel no guilt about it.<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
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