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I couldn't help but write right now. If not, my heart would get bigger and bigger and it could burst at the end.
I know this is a passing phase of another one way love in my life.
But at least for now, you are the reason of my life.
At fist, I felt nothing special on you; Now I feel that life might become meaningless if I live without you.
If I lose you, if I have to let you go someday which will surely come,
my heart will be broken, torn aprt completely.
I'm already in deep grief, for I know we should be apart at last.
That's why I dropped tears a lot while brushing my teeth last night.
I'm in a hard time because of this never ending adolescence.
I know how funny and foolish I am. Still, I can't keep back sorrow from filling my heart when I think of you.
People say that I lose weight these days. I tell them that I'm in a hard time working, knowing the actual reason existed somewhere else.
I'm happy because of you.
And at the same time, I'm sad because of you.
You give me great happiness. My heart beats fast when I open the door of your class to teach you and when a window for letting us chat pops up.
You make me have hard time waiting for the next class ; You also make me feel sorry a little bit when you have to go out to finish the chatting.
But the sorrow coming because of the reason above is only a small one comparing with the sadness that comes up when I imagine the time of our getting apart.
I try to laugh a lot, need to move ceaselessly to blow this stress away(for example, walking or dancing with loud music or singing songs that I like), have to be absorbed in something(so I'm happy with meeting this busy week of study), for I have to swim in this life which is funny but filled with extreme sadness sometimes.
I need someone who can build a strong seawall in my mind to prevent this giant waves of sorrow from overflowing and swallowing me up.
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