마지막 소원 26-41

[Peter]

주간묵상 26-41

<마지막 소원>

명절 전 후

귀인들 만남과 나눔과

덕담으로 흐뭇한 시간.

가장 많이 나눈 덕담

서로 ‘건강을 위한 기도’

돌이켜 보면

각종 사고와 중병으로

고비 고비 넘기면서

지내온 80평생

아마 세 살 이전?

생명을 포기할 정도

심한 열병으로

민간요법 외에

의료혜택을 받을 수 없던

시골 열악한 경제형편

머리가 다 빠졌었다고-

뚜렷이 기억되는 건

객지 외톨이 중학생시절

매년 가을이면

목이 잠기기 시작

봄이 되어야 목이 트이는 고통

벙어리처럼 말이 나오지 않아

억지기침을 계속하여

목에서 피를 토하기도-

옷이 얇아 추위로 인한 감기.

그땐 가을만 되면 걱정이 태산.

고등학생시절부터

주변 환경이 바뀌어

증상이 없어지니

날아갈 듯 기뻤던 기억

그러나 배고픔은-

식사 때 밥이 많아서

남겨본 기억이 없다.

뷔페식당에 처음 갔을 때

사장님이 봤으면

아마 쫓겨났을지도(?)

군대에선

‘밥 많이 먹는 놈’이란 별명도-

지금도 젊은이 못지않게-

작년까지만 해도

120세까지는 무난할 것 같은 건강

80세 문턱을 넘으니

건강에 대한 인식이 달라진다.

명절을 기하여 만난 지인

나의 건강을 위해서

기도하겠다는 고마운 분

그러나

여생을 범죄 하지 않게

기도해 달라고 정정부탁.

‘선을 알고도 행하지 않는 죄’

‘게으르고 나태한 죄’

‘기도를 쉬는 죄’

‘무관심의 죄’를 범하지 않도록-

이젠 가장 큰 소원은

부귀영화도 아니고

건강이나 장수도 아니라

범죄 하지 않고 일하다가

부르실 때 미련 없이-

평생 지켜오던 열정

늙었다고 소홀하여

공든 탑 무너지는 일 없기를-

그간 쌓아온 경험과 지혜로

얼마나 할 일이 많은데-

눈앞에 펼쳐진 황금벌판

곡간에 거둬들이는 마무리까지-

World Mission Center(www.wccc.ac)

선교사 김윤식목사(010-3347-3202)

https://cafe.daum.net/smallwaterdrop/KU4B/724

Weekly Meditation 26-41

〈My Final Wish〉

Around the holiday,

I spent heartwarming hours

meeting cherished friends,

sharing with one another,

and exchanging words of blessing.

The blessing we shared most often:

“I will pray for your health.”

Looking back,

through accidents of many kinds

and serious illnesses,

I have crossed one crisis after another

in these eighty years of life.

Perhaps I was not yet three-

a fever so severe

that hope for my life

was almost abandoned.

In our poor rural circumstances,

folk remedies were all we had;

medical care was beyond our reach.

They tell me all my hair fell out.

What I remember clearly

are my middle school years,

alone and far from home.

Every autumn,

my voice would begin to fail,

and only in spring

would it return.

Unable to get the words out,

I would keep forcing myself to cough,

sometimes coughing up blood.

My thin clothes left me cold,

and colds would follow.

In those days, autumn brought

a mountain of worry.

From my high school years onward,

my living conditions changed,

and the symptoms disappeared.

I remember feeling

as though I could fly with joy.

But the hunger remained-

I cannot remember ever

leaving rice in my bowl

because there was too much.

The first time I went to a buffet,

had the owner seen how much I ate,

he might well have shown me the door!

In the army,

they even nicknamed me

“the fellow who eats so much rice.”

Even now, my appetite

can match a young man’s.

Until last year,

I felt so healthy

that reaching a hundred and twenty

seemed quite within reason.

But now that I have crossed

the threshold of eighty,

I see health differently.

A friend I met over the holiday

kindly promised

to pray for my health.

Grateful as I was,

I asked for a different prayer:

“Please pray that I may not sin

in the years I have left.”

That I may not commit

the sin of knowing the good

and failing to do it,

the sin of laziness and idleness,

the sin of ceasing to pray,

the sin of indifference-

Now my greatest wish

is neither wealth nor glory,

neither health nor a long life,

but to keep working without falling into sin,

and when He calls,

to leave without reluctance-

May I never neglect,

simply because I have grown old,

the zeal I have kept throughout my life.

May all I have labored to build

never come tumbling down.

With the experience and wisdom

gathered over these many years,

there is still so much to do-

Before my eyes

stretch golden fields of grain.

May I see the harvest through,

until it is gathered into the barn-