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According to the U-M post- doctoral research,
Matthew Keller describes that
warm weather really offers
a way to re-set your mind-set.
U-M 박사진 연구를 통해서,
매튜 켈러(심리학 박사)는
‘따뜻한 날이 당신의 사고방식을
바꿔줄 것이라는 묘사합니다.
Warm weather boosts mood, broadens the mind
Published On:
October 4, 2004
Contact:
umichnews@umich.edu
Social Media:
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ANN ARBOR
—Get out—for at least 30 minutes. The positive impact warm, sunny weather can have on mental health and mood are real, according to new University of Michigan research.
Taking a trip to someplace warm in the middle of winter or lingering outside when spring arrives can be especially beneficial, with pleasant weather improving mood, memory and broadening cognitive style (openness to new information and creative thoughts) as time spent outside increased, researchers found. Hotter weather during the summer, however, lowered mood levels and the effect of pleasant weather was far less noticeable in other seasons.
“Being outside in pleasant weather really offers a way to re-set your mind-set,” said Matthew Keller, the U-M post-doctoral researcher who led the psychology study. “Everyone thinks weather affects mood but the biggest tests of this theory in 2000 found no relationship, so we went back and found there are two important variables: how much time you spend outside and what the season is. If you go from winter to spring and spend enough time outside, there’s a noticeable change.”
The findings, completed by a team that also included U-M social psychology professors Barbara Frederickson and Oscar Ybarra, will be published in an upcoming issue of the journal Psychological Science.
A set of three studies involved more than 600 participants from throughout the United States. In one study conducted during the spring in Ann Arbor, participants who were randomly assigned to be outdoors during warm and sunny days showed improved mood and memory compared to participants who were outside when the weather was not pleasant and compared to participants who spent the time inside.
The impact of weather on mood and cognition has been difficult to demonstrate because people in industrialized countries, on average, spend 93 percent of their time indoors, making them largely disconnected from the impact of changing weather outside.
Keller himself experienced the phenomenon and was inspired to conduct the research after leaving Michigan for a mid-winter trip to Mexico, quickly being reminded that “life is full of color and life is fun. It’s easy to forget that during the wintertime.”
He notes that most people feel a little more blue in the winter and better in the spring, with the most extreme example being among those who suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a recurrent depression with typical onset during the fall or winter. Previous research has found a connection between hot weather and violent behavior, and sunnier weather improving stock performance.
The researchers also found the optimal temperature for mood for most Americans is 72 degrees, about room temperature, with mood decreasing if temperatures became significantly higher or lower. There were regional differences, however, with mood peaking at 65 degrees in Michigan and 86 degrees in considerably warmer Texas.
For weather to improve mood, subjects needed to spend at least 30 minutes outside in warm, sunny weather. Contrary to their initial expectations, researchers found that spending time indoors when the weather outside was pleasant actually decreased mood and narrowed cognitive style. They suspected this was perhaps because people resent being cooped-up indoors when weather becomes better in the spring or perhaps because improved weather can make normal indoor activities feel boring or irritating.
The researchers note that it should not be surprising that weather and seasons affect human behavior, given that humans have evolved with seasonal and weather changes since the dawn of the species.
Calling for further research into the subject, the researchers offer a straight forward prescription: “If you wish to reap the psychological benefits of good springtime weather, go outside.”
Also, he explains that good weather affects our mood to be better.
또한 그는 좋은 날은 우리의 기분을 더 좋게
한다고 설명한다.
*ILU – I LOVE U
*ILY- I LOVE YOU
*IMU- I MISS U.
Hey, I just wanted to say thank you.
이봐, 나 고맙다고 말하려고 연락 했어~
I am thinking about you,
난 네 생각해.
뭐할 거니
‘What are you up to?’
I blush whenever I think about you.
네 생각할 때마다 난 얼굴이 빨개져.
‘being honest’ 정직함
그리고, ‘being brave’ 용감한
I blushed when I saw it.
그걸 보니까 얼굴이 빨개졌어.
blush는 바로 얼굴이 새빨개진
그런 이미지를 연상케 하는 단어입니다!
어린아이처럼 붉어진 얼굴은
상대방에 대한 호감도가 매우 높다는 상황을
의미하죠!
I always think about you.
난 항상 너를 생각해.
Are you thinking about me right now?
혹시 지금 내 생각하고 있어?
· Are you seeing someone? 만나는 사람 있어요?
· Are you dating someone? 연애하는 사람 있어요?
·Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? 여자친구/남자친구 있어요?
· Would you like to go on a date? 나랑 연애할래요?
· I want to date you. 나 너를 만나보고 싶어.
· I want to go out with you. 너랑 사귀고 싶어.
· Will you go out with me. 나랑 사귈래?
go out with someone
"누구랑 사귀다"
· I want to see you more often.
자주 만나고 싶어요.
· Can we see again?
또 만날 수 있을까요?
· Can we see each other more often?
더 자주 만날 수 있을까요?
· I really like you, will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?
나 니가 좋아. 나의 여자친구/남자친구가 되어
줄래?
· Do you want to be my girlfriend/boyfriend?
나의 여자친구/남자친구가 되고 싶니?
· I would like you to be my girlfriend/boyfriend. What do you think about it?
네가 내 여자친구가/남자친구가 되어주면 좋겠어. 어떻게 생각해?
“I love spending time with you”
너랑 같이 있는 게 너무 좋아.
썸은 '썸싱을 타다(There is something between us)'에서 나온 말로 아직 연인 관계는 아니지만 마치 사귀는 것처럼 가까이 지내는 관계를 이르는 신조어입니
다. 다시 말해 남도 아니고 연인도 아닌 애매한 단계를 이르는 말로 사용됩니다. 또 본격적인 연애를 시작하기 전 미묘한 관계를 뜻하기도 합니다.
1. 썸 타는 사람이 있어요.
I'm seeing someone.
'see'는 '무엇을 보다'란 의미 외에도 '~를 만나다'란 의미로도 사용되는 동사입니다. 때문에 'seeing someone' 하면, 누군가를 만나다를 의미로, '여자친구, 남자
친구, 애인'이 아닌 알아가는 단계, '썸 타고 있다'라는 걸 표현합니다.
예를 들어,
A :Do you have a boy friend?
남자 친구 있어요?
B : No, but I'm seeing someone.
아뇨, 하지만 저 썸 타는 사람이 있어요.
2. 썸 타는 사람이 있어요.
I'm dating someone.
'I'm seeing someone'과 비슷한 의미로 'seeing'대산 'dating'을 써서 그냥 썸만 타는 것보다 데이트한다는 것을 표현합니다.
3. 사귀고 있어요.
go out with somebody.
'go out'은 '외출하다'의 의미를 갖고 있는 표현으로 '데이트하다'란 의미도 갖고 있습니다. 하지만 연인 사이에서는 'go out with'가 '~와 사귀다'란 의미로 표현됩니다.
Actually, yes, I sort of started dating someone.
사실은 맞아. 누군가를 만나기 시작했어. (썸 타기 시작했어)
I'm going out with Dave.
나는 Dave와 사귀고 있어.
Will you go out with me?
나랑 사귈래?
4. 남자친구가 있어요. / 여자친구가 있어요.
I have a boyfriend./ I have a gir friend.
'~와 사귄다'라는 것을 말할 때, '여자친구가 있어요.' 또는 '남자친구가 있어요'라고 말하기도 하죠. 영어도 마찬가지로 또는
직접적으로 표현합니다.
5. 남자친구/여자친구와 헤어졌어요.
break up with my boyfriend/girl friend.
우리도 남자친구, 또는 여자친구와 헤어졌을 때, '깨졌다'라고 표현하죠. 영어 역시 이라고 표현합니다.
'I have a boyfriend.' 'I have a girlfriend.'라고
I have a boyfriend.
전 남자친구가 있어요.
I'm 34 years old and I still don' t have a boyfriend.
내 나이 34살인데 아직 애인이 없어요.
'break up'
6. 그녀한테 차였어요.
She dumped me.
라는 표현은 '버리다'라는 의미의 동사입니다. 이 동사가 연인 사이에서는 헤어질 때, (그 사람을) 차다'란 의미로 표현하기도 합니다.
I break up with my girlfriend.
나 여자친구랑 헤어졌어.
She's just breoken up with her boyfriend.
그녀는 얼마 전에 남자 친구와 헤어졌어.
'dump'
How can you dump me for another man?
어떻게 딴 남자 때문에 나를 찰 수 있어?
How could she dump me after all I did for her?
내가 얼마나 잘해줬는데 나를 차버릴 수가 있어?
1. wishbone (위시본)
: 닭고기, 오리고기 등에서 목과 가슴 사이에 있는 V자형 뼈, 이것의 양 끝을 두 사람이 잡고 서로 잡아당겨 긴 쪽을 갖게 된 사람이 소원을 빌면 이루어진다고 하여 이런 이름이 붙었습니다.
2. significant other
: (보통 진지한 관계에 있는) 소중한 특별한 사이.
3. Fling
: 가볍게 스쳐가는 인연
4. ghost on
: ~를 두고 잠적하다
5. hit on
: ~를 꼬시려고 작업을 걸다.
He always ghosts on girls. What an irresponsi
14 Common Answers to Why Do Women Ghost Men
Last Updated on: May 14, 2022 by Cyril Abello
14 Common Answers to Why Do Women Ghost Men
Photo by Averyanovphoto
Have you ever been victimized by ghosting, and you are still clueless why the girl you were dating did it? So, are you asking why do women ghost men? If you are here for the answers, you can definitely get them!
Before knowing about the reasons, let us define ghosting first. It is the process of ending a relationship by suddenly cutting all communications without explanations at all. Like a literal ghost, the person who initiates this practically disappears from your life instantly.
So, to find out the possible reason why you were ghosted by the woman you liked, keep reading below:
Contents show
Expectations Not Met
1. The Guy is Not What He Portrays Online.
Catfishing is one of the common reasons a woman ghosts a man. This usually happens when two persons meet and start their relationship online. Probably, the guy is not too confident in himself, so he lies about his appearance and other personal characteristics. The problem kicks in when they have to meet finally. Once the girl finds out about the lies, it is normal for her to get mad and disappointed. The guy cannot expect his date to keep talking to him if this happens.
2. He Bores the Girl on the Initial Date.
Another reason why a girl ghosts a guy is boredom. She may realize that the man is not interesting in any way during their first date. If she is not swept off her feet during the getting-to-know stage, she is not likely to waste more time and energy with the person.
3. She Gets Turned-off.
One of the usual reasons ghosting happens is getting turned off. If a lady finds something disappointing about a guy, it is not surprising if she will not care about reaching out or responding to the person anymore. What could turn a girl off? If the attraction is purely physical, any flaw in the guy’s appearance can cause her to back out. However, more profound disappointments can be caused by opposing views, different social backgrounds, and disagreeable attitudes.
4. The Attraction Phase is Over.
Ghosting can happen even in long-term relationships. Nevertheless, it is worth noting that not all couples last a long time because of love. Some simply stay together because of sensual intimacy powered by physical attraction. However, time will eventually make them tired of each other. And once the attraction is over, it would be easy for someone—may it be a man or a woman—to ghost their partner.
Likes Someone Else
5. She Has a Partner Already.
Sometimes, the reason a man gets ghosted is that he hits on a girl committed to someone else already. It is not impossible that some girls play around with other guys for fun, but they have no intention of making the friendship serious. Thus, the fling only lasts a few dates. Then, these girls go back to their real boyfriends.
6. The Woman Realizes She is in Love with a Different Person.
A woman may also ghost a guy because she realizes that she likes someone else. But, since she does not have the guts to admit the case to the hopeful man, she resorts to ghosting. She thinks that by suddenly disappearing from his life, the one left behind will just move on quietly. Or, at least, she hopes that he will eventually forgive and forget her.
14 Common Answers to Why Do Women Ghost Men
Photo by Averyanovphoto
7. The Guy is Only a Rebound.
Men hitting on women who have just come out from a breakup ask for trouble. Usually, a brokenhearted woman dates another guy, hoping it will help her forget the pain. However, once the ex comes back or she realizes she is not getting over him, the new man gets left behind. Typically, a woman in this situation would be too ashamed to apologize to the guy for using him. For this reason, there is a big chance she will end up ghosting him.
8. She Finds Someone New.
Another reason a woman ghosts a man is getting attracted to someone else. Whether she is in a relationship or not, this can happen. Probably, she gets too in love with the new person that she cannot wait to be with him. Being committed to someone else would hinder her heart’s desire. Since breaking up with the wrong guy might only make the situation complicated with drama, she may think that vanishing instantly would solve the problem.
9. She is Guilty of Cheating on Him.
On the other hand, some girls ghost their boyfriends because of the guilt that comes with cheating. It is not about avoiding drama at all, but they simply feel bad about their infidelity. For that reason, even if they do not continue with their illicit affair, they would still abandon their original men. Simply put, they feel undeserving of being loved.
Practical Reasons
10. The Man Does Not Support Her.
Sometimes, a woman leaves a man because of a more practical reason. Probably, she feels bad because her boyfriend is not supportive of her goals. For instance, she could be planning to work abroad, but the boyfriend discourages her because he simply wants her within his sight. This selfishness could urge the girl to force her out of the relationship. And knowing that the guy would not let her go, she ends up ghosting him.
11. She Chooses Her Dream More than Love Life.
A woman may also ghost a man when she realizes that their relationship can hinder her from fulfilling her dreams. She has probably encountered an opportunity that will serve as a ticket to her success, but her relationship will make it hard. For example, it could be a chance to be in the entertainment industry, and having a boyfriend might keep her from great breaks involving love teams. So, to cut the drama short, she chooses to disappear from the guy’s life without saying goodbyes.
12. He Cannot Provide Her Security.
Another reason a woman will ghost a man is his incapacity to provide her with a stable future. He is probably an irresponsible guy who cannot get a decent job in years. Fearing that she and her future kids would end up living below the poverty line, she runs away from him.
13. She Realizes He is Not Someone She Can Be Proud of.
How society sees our partners may also affect how we adore them. For this reason, a woman who has a practically ‘nobody’ boyfriend might be tempted to leave him behind. She probably believes that her family and friends think of her as a loser for dating a poor and unambitious man, especially if everyone around her is dating a popular guy.
14 Common Answers to Why Do Women Ghost Men
Photo by nastya_gepp
14. They Pursue Different Paths.
If the woman realizes that she and her boyfriend would never meet eye to eye, she might consider ghosting him. Maybe, they have never agreed on anything, and their plans are different from each other. Thinking about their irreconcilable differences, she probably thinks trying to separate ways amicably is useless. Thus, she just leaves him one day without his knowing.
Just Let Go
Does any of the listed reasons ring a bell to you? The girl who ghosted you probably gave a hint of leaving someday, and you ignored it. Whether you have confirmed the reason or not, the best way to deal with the situation is to forgive her for your own peace and move forward. Stop waiting for apologies or explanations that might never come at all.
Online courses recommended for you:
Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose.
Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse and carefully evaluate your relationship’s strengths and weaknesses.
Why Do Men Ghost Women? 7 Shocking Reasons Men Go GHOST
January 25, 2022 by Alice Wang
Isn’t it annoying (and heartbreaking) that a man can just decide to leave a woman out of the blue? And this is after giving her multiple signals that he’s interested in her.
Having given a woman signals of interest (and even investment), and then to suddenly disappear is uncalled for.
Particularly when you consider the fondness he has professed to have for yo. It seemed so…right? So how did it go so wrong?
Why do men ghost women?
Today, you are the center of this man’s world and tomorrow, for reasons you cannot exactly articulate, this same man is nowhere to be found.
No – he didn’t get lost, he just suddenly doesn’t have time for you anymore. This can be a disturbing experience, but don’t worry – you are not alone.
As “strange” as being ghosted is, there are reasons for it. And you will see them shortly.
But before that, you must know that romantic relationship is a domain of intentionality and effort – in other words, good relationships don’t happen by accident.
So any man that ghosts you does not deserve your attention as he has chosen no give himself to you.
Click here to know more about why men ghost good women…
This is not revenge of any sort, it is pure common sense – why would you keep pouring water into a leaking basket. It’s a waste of time.
Let’s see what exactly was on the minds of some of these men when they ghost you.
CLICK here to discover the one thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say!
Table of Contents
#1: You Were A “Plan B” To Him
This seems to be the most obvious reason for the question, why do men ghost women? He probably sees you as one of the many ladies in the pool of potential partners he has in mind.
Once he finds what he is looking for in someone else who is not you, he exits. And rather than give you closure, he disappears. This is absolutely not your fault.
In fact, it’s normal for men to chat to this many women on dating apps at a time, and unless you make an effort to test guys early on, you may find yourself repeatedly ghosted.
It’s a harsh reality of modern dating, but once you get good at eliminating the low quality men, you’ll start to really have fun in online dating (that’s what happened to me!)
Whilst most men chat to many women online innocently, some men don’t have good intentions.
Some men see it as a game where they can strike conversations and initiate emotional attachments with many women.
And then leave them hanging after satisfying his curiosity. If he finds his desires in PLAN A woman, it is just natural that he begins to draw back from you, until he totally becomes a ghost.
And you’re left hung out to dry. Your emotional investment is now finding its way down the drain because a man decided to play games with you.
Once you sense this happening, you need to call the quits with him. It’s just best for your own mental health and emotional stability.
Always choose you. Move right along, proudly saying “next!”
Learn The One Missing Key to Becoming A High Value Woman Whom Men Adore.
#2: He Is Emotionally Irresponsible
Some men ghost you because they cannot bring themselves to have the conversation with you that they aren’t interested anymore.
It’s insensitive, but some men are like that – they just can’t muster basic emotional sensitivity. Their reason for ghosting is as simple as that – a lack of sensitivity and a lack of responsibility. They believe that when they have a conversation with you about how they feel about you, that it would cost them too much or that they would hurt you too much.
So, they rather disappear.
A man might not feel the same way that you feel about him, but he needs to let you know this. It is simply called being mature. Yet, you see, not all men are mature.
And those who fall in this category tend to be terrible and frequent “ghosters”. Which means you’re definitely not alone – and it’s definitely not personal to you.
Well, come to think of it, it’s good that he ghosted you. Don’t you think?
Sure, it is not fair on you. But you wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with a man that cannot hold basic conversations to move past an impasse.
The most interesting thing when it comes to these emotionally immature folks is that they might be really smart and intelligent people when it comes to other things. But when it comes to communicating their emotions? It’s time to log out.
Men being emotionally irresponsible in this way is one reason why many women get ghosted by men.
As a woman, many thoughts may begin to run through your mind. In particular, you may not be able to stop worrying that the ghosting is your fault.
It is not your fault in any way. In fact, his inability to communicate his stance or his feelings is everything to do with him, and nothing to do with you.
There really is nothing you can do for a man who feels he can disappear and re-appear.
But you can test to see how commitment friendly he is…
QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!
#3: He Has Low Self Esteem
Yup, this is another answer to the “why do men ghost women?” question. And it is usually because the man thinks the woman is too good for him. Once these thoughts begin to creep into his mind and he is not self-aware, he would most likely ghost you out of fear.
Fear of what?
Fear of not measuring up
Fear of not being able to meet your demands for commitment; and
Fear of having to be responsible to a quality woman!
A healthy amount of self-esteem makes a man self-contained and capable in adult relationships. Men like this do not attach their individual worth to anything or anybody external.
However, a man who has an inferiority complex lives life differently. Namely, he feels small, so he hides away and minimizes the risks of interacting with and investing in a good woman, so that he doesn’t have to feel worse.
A man with low self-esteem can still develop feelings for you. Of course, he is human and he would like something of value (you) just like anyone else.
But don’t be surprised if he runs away because he notices that you are too high caliber, or that you are doing so much better than him.
The “doing better than him” could be anything really. It could be financially, academically, politically, mentally etc. Instead of investing in you, he just withdraws into himself.
And something in his head tells him that “this woman is way out of my league”. So off he goes.
These men are not exactly bad people at heart. And chances are that men like this can be helped.
But if they were honest, they’re usually drawn to women who live frugally. These men make a U-turn when they see a woman who likes living large or who has an expensive lifestyle (this is not a bad thing by the way).
So if by chance see the signs that a man has low self-esteem, you could help consider helping him by appreciating his efforts in life.
Here are the 5 telltale signs a man has crippling low self-esteem.
Note that men with low self-esteem are different entirely from men with pure narcissism and ego.
CLICK HERE to LEARN the one specific emotional trigger within every masculine man that inspires him to want to take care of you, worship you and deeply commit to you.
#4: He Felt You Were Too Clingy
No one likes clingy. If you had a man who was clingy, you would probably leave him too, right?
As a woman, you should have a healthy degree of independence and self-awareness. Key word: should.
Because not every woman is that independent, and I don’t want to make you wrong if that is you. But it’s important to be aware of the fact that when you have no independence and are always latching on to him, that sends signals of low value.
CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report. (Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
This signaling low value could make him ghost you, because it scares a man to have a woman of low value.
See, you might feel like you’re being friendly and loving to him, but if his feelings towards you and effort isn’t matching yours, then it’s no longer friendly and loving…it’s more likely that you’re being clingy – and clingy is not same as being affectionate.
Being clingy means that you are obsessed and uncalibrated to him. When you’re obsessed, then your partner’s every move has an effect on you and the slightest thing can send you off the rails (which makes the man feel under a lot of pressure).
When men sense this kind of obsession, the relationship becomes uncomfortable for them and they develop what is known as “negative associations” with you and the relationship.
If these negative associations are strong enough, they will want out. Moreover, the ghosting mode gets activated. It’s kind of like a fight or flight mode – he needs to get out and save himself before he gets in too deep.
You wouldn’t usually hear it from a man that the reason why he ghosted a woman is because she was clingy, because most men will be concerned that if they tell you this, life would become even harder for them.
It’s like there’s this under wrapped law in the male kingdom that forbids voicing this to women.
SECRETS REVEALED… Discover how you too can use this little known “Dark Feminine Art” to weed out the toxic men whilst cultivating real emotional attraction with high value high esteemed men. (CLICK HERE to enrol in this free class before it’s gone.)
#5: You Didn’t Have What He Was Looking For
Most romantic relationships have a strong base in friendship. However, there are expectations from both partners in the relationship. It is very normal for you as a woman at the “getting to now each other” stage, to look for your personal specifications in a potential partner – in that man.
But mind you, you’re not the only one looking. The man is also actively observing your words, actions, values and perspectives. He would also be weighing up these observations about you side by side with his personal expectations in a potential romantic partner.
If you do not fit into his prospective partner specifications, he may not feel that there is a reason to pursue anything long-term between you two. So, some men just disappear completely.
And sometimes, you are left with many thoughts of inadequacy and a sense of emptiness. However, try to remember that the man’s preference in a long-term partner has nothing to you with your personal worth.
Many men ghost because they cannot find what they are looking for in the woman. At the same time, their individual taste or preferences should not invalidate your sense of self-value. Your value is not attached to any man.
There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report.
#6: Personal Reasons For Him, Maybe.
If there is ever such a category as unintentional ghosting, maybe this falls under that category. With this reason, the man ghosted you because he was considering not being inconsiderate. And I think that is fair on you. Well, in a way.
Imagine a scenario where the man has shown obvious interest in you, romantically. Maybe you’ve even gone on a date or two and had some intimate conversations. That is nice, really nice. Now, also imagine if that man loses a really close friend few days later. There’s a mental discomfort for him. And maybe, just maybe, he’d like to share with someone.
However, he would try his possible best not to put his personal baggage in the beautiful thing he’s building with you. And don’t forget that he’s human too. He needs time to grief and process. So, he might be tempted to withdraw from you for a while. Now, that’s where the ghosting feeling comes in for you.
So, you as the woman, might feel very confused at how he claims to really like you and at the same time suddenly disappears. He had to, for personal reasons.
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#7: He Got What He Wanted
Now, this is the most famous answer to “why do men ghost women”. It is probably the first reason you toyed with in your mind when you wondered why men ghost women. Nothing makes women feel more hurt and cheated than this reason.
When all the man wanted was a hookup but you have expectations of an actual relationship and didn’t test him to see his intent, ghosting is bound to occur. Even if your expectations are different, he would only act on what he sees you as.
One thing remains true: no hookup will get a man into a relationship, even if the sex was out of this world.
So, once the relationship was prefaced as a casual hookup (whether explicitly or implicitly), there’s practically no other role left for him to fulfil.
You guys are cool – to him. The man simply moves on. There won’t be any intimate talks from him.
Yes, that simple.
MORE: Why Do Men Distance Themselves After Intimacy? 5 Mysterious Reasons.
Men are naturally wired to be pragmatic. They only see the white and black. Not grey, not ash, only white and black. Women are wired differently. In a contrasting emotional make-up to men’s. This is why you might feel like there’s probably something in that casual hookup.
Hence, the overwhelming feeling of being ghosted buy a guy.
The hardest part about ghosting in this context is that it seems like he treats you like a burden now, perhaps he even avoids you outright.
He got what he wanted. And now he ghosts.
Nothing makes a woman feel more used than this. And I know you must have felt this way too if you’ve been in this situation before. So if this is you, remember to always test a guy…don’t ever assume that sex will make him develop any feelings for you, because it simply won’t. That’s not how men are wired.
QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!
CONCLUSION
Ghosting is never an emotionally mature thing to do, no matter how nicely we paint it.
And as you’ve seen, many men ghost women for the most “interesting” reasons. Regardless of the reasons why men ghost women, some men genuinely need to do better in the way they handle romantic relationships – casual or not casual.
No one likes (or deserves) to be left alone in an emotional desert to fend for themselves.
CategoriesDating Advice, Uncategorized
Tagsdating, ghost, ghost dating, ghosting, why men ghost women
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2 thoughts on “Why Do Men Ghost Women? 7 Shocking Reasons Men Go GHOST”
Ludmila
July 22, 2022 at 9:40 am
I had been dating this older man (11 years my senior) for 10 months when all of a sudden he started distancing himself from me until he finally started ghosting. I brought up my observations a couple of times to him and he always said that it was due to his job (company is on the edge of bankruptcy). I believed him and tried to be supportive, asked him if he need time for himself. He started cancelling our plans, didn’t want to see more than a couple of hours, always saying that the kids were around. Finally, he asked for time for himself. And I gave it to him. He went on a business trip (not sure anymore if that was really what happened) but when he came back I reached out to ask him how he was doing and how the business trip went. He was very evasive and I told him that we needed to talk because his behavior was not fair toward me. When I went to his house (he asked me to because apparently he was not feeling well – maybe another excuse to not have the conversation, he looked perfectly okay to me) he told me he lost the spark. And here I need to say that the first 6 months were amazing, he was attentive, a gentleman, he would cancel all his other plans to spend time with me. We would cycle around the city, go to parks, museums, restaurants. We would go to the theater and cinema. He was constantly making plans. However, he said a couple of times that I was more introverted than he was and that he was talking more than I was. Okay, I was never told this, not by my friends or other guys I dated. In fact, the previous men were very happy with the conversations and when we broke they said that this was the thing they missed about me, the conversations we had. Moreover, at about 5 months of dating him I asked him that we delete Tinder and focus on our relationship. His answer was that he was not seeing anyone else since he started dating me but he did not say that he would delete his tinder profile.
I of course was hurt and angry because during the last 4 months I initiated conversations about us, about where we were and what we were to each other but he never filled out the voids. I always felt like he was keeping me as an option, and maybe he did and when he found someone he likes being with more, he started behaving strangely.
I don’t want him back. What I really hope he understands is that he needs someone, a therapist, to talk to. This was his suggestion for me when I told him that he started ghosting me just the way my previous boyfriend did and although I told him it hurt a lot, he did the exact same thing.
How can a man, with two grown up daughters do this to a woman? Isn’t he scared that his daughters may experience the same bahvior from the guys they will be dating in the future?
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Guys did you ever "ghost" a girl? What was the reason?
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Beth Carroll
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Behavioral and Community Support (2010–present)2y
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3 years ago now, I dated a girl for a few months until I decided to ghosted her. Whenever I feel like coming back into her life she lets me in too easily.. Even I, who is considered in the "wrong" think it’s weird. What is the deal with her?
Wow! You are single-handedly tearing down that girl's self esteem. She lets you back in because it gives her a sliver of validation; she thinks she is worth having this time. Each time you ditch her, you are tearing her down even further. It's probably a power trip for you. You know it is wrong, but you keep doing it. Why? Because it gets you off? Does it make you feel good?
There is nothing wrong with her; she just wants to be loved. There is something very wrong with you; you are taking advantage of her. If you have any human decency, you will stay away from her. I feel sorry for any girl who crosses your path and I hope they see you for the vile snake that you are.
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Anonymous
3y
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Why do some men ghost women?
From personal experience it has nothing to do with you. Most times men do it because they don’t have feeling for you, you gave them what they wanted, or another women is in the picture. Men are sometimes unable to tell women how they feel and simply say “this isn’t working out” many don’t like confrontation. Crazy thing about ghosting sometimes they always end up coming back. Especially if you told them you still cared about them. It’s a boost of ego, or that other women he wanted to choose wasnt what he thought she was. So he comes back to you because he knows you will allow him, they use you as a trap. They will flop in and out of life because they feel like they have some hold over you. Please don’t not fall into the traps you are only hurting yourself no matter what they say.
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If you are a guy and you ghost a girl, is there anything she can do to get your respect back? I don’t mean get back with you, just not have you think of her as pathetic.
I learned ghosting the hard way, from women. Women are smart, cunning and ghost men every day. By ghosting women you are infact being respectful, as you are welcoming feminist values and practices. It's important to ghost women so they are treated as equals. Giving them special treatment is disrespectful. All women deserve to be ghosted as much as they have ghosted, it's only fair and feminist.
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Ava Lan
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2y
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I ghosted my ex-girlfriend 7 months ago for another girl I met. I got engaged to that girl, however, I miss my ex now. If I contact her, will she be happy or has she forgotten me?
You don't know what love is dear friend! Sounds like you need some time on your own to realize what kind of person you are. You ghosted the girl! And now you wanna go back to her??? Haha always want what you can't have. Do the girl a favour your ghosted her and caused her pain. I've been through this I went through pain for months. It went from messaging all the time to once a week then never. Do the girl a favour and stay out of her life youv broken your ex enough let her move on. You make me kinda sick all I can think is you'd message lieing to her saying “hey yeah I wasn't in my right mind months ago an that's why I stopped talking, will you take me back" bullshit manipulator. Also do your current gf and favour and leave on your own becuase your just thinking about a different girl while with a current fiance. And that poor ex you'll probably get back with her then want your ex fiance back then you'll ghost the first ex again after promising her so much. Piss right off. Make up your mind real quick or leave and be single until you've decided to to love yourself a little more To not manipulate and and get your ways since you don't even know how to properly love someone else.
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Francesca Smith
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2y
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Why does a guy go out of his way to show you interest only to ghost you?
It’s not only guys who do that. It honestly depends on the person. But one reason maybe they freaked out about how much they liked you and just decided to bail. I’ve never ghosted anyone but have been ghosted, it genuinely hurts and feels very disrespectful and cowardly. Just look after you, I’m sure there’s someone genuine for you out there.
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Anonymous
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Have you ever ghosted somebody you loved? Why is that?
Yes. I had to. I tried the formal way by ending things in Nov 2018 with him. I’ll call him #20. It was his football jersey number in college.
i met him September 2017. We have a connection I can’t really describe. In front of him I felt naked even with clothes on. He could see me, and he knew what I was thinking just by looking into my eyes. This was from day 1. We fell in love with each other as soon as we met. This isn’t normal for me. When I fall in love, it’s because it was slowly built over time. Not an immediate internal feeling of just knowing something strange is happening and I can’t stop it. It wasn’t lust, I’ve felt that too. My thoughts on the first date as he talked about missing his father who died when he was 23 were just that I wish I could give him a hug and comfort him but that’s weird for a first date. Another was just that I would have a baby with him. Not because he was handsome, not because he has the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard. But because of that Indescribable internal feeling. I’ve been in many relationships and dated plenty. He was different and this was different.
i remember when we were just texting during the first 3 weeks and hadn’t met yet, he randomly told me that he is a sociopath. I laughed it off thinking he was joking. It took me 3 years and a lot of tears to know that wasn’t a joke whatsoever. This is why I had to ghost him.
there are 2 types of people in this world. The ones that show up, and the ones that don’t. He never showed up. I practically had to beg him to see him often. He’d oftentimes say no. He wouldn’t have sex with me or even plan on it. I didn’t understand why. He kept telling me it was because he was scared. If he wanted to just be friends why didn’t he say that? He touched me and looked at me sexually. I was 31 when I met him so I know the difference between when a man looks at you and wants to date you or just wants to be your friend. I am very attractive and a former nyc high fashion model, look at least 10 years younger than my actual age. I kept saying, am I not pretty enough, am I not smart enough? Is it because I don’t have a college degree? I waited and waited for him to come around. We sometimes would go months without talking to each other. One day I had it. It was nov 2018. I said this isn’t working and that I just want him to be happy. I said I can’t wait around any longer being hopeful for a relationship that will never happen. It was hard but I had to move on. Still every day, every hour I’d think of him. But I was done.
April 2019, #20 pops up messaging me on kik. Sent me exactly 20 videos back to back explaining how sorry he was and that he loves me and misses me.
My heart stopped when I saw it and I started to cry hysterically. It took me 3 days to answer as I wondered if I should. I did answer and I told him the truth. That I’m still very in love with him but that it’s not going to work. To make a relationship work it takes 2 people to put effort in that relationship. He was never going to put in the work. Then he sent me videos crying. That’s when I threw in the towel, and let down my guard… a stupid decision I’ll always regret.
i spent the next 5 months trying to figure out what to do with him. I was too scared to try to setup a meeting. I didn’t believe he was ready for a relationship. I was terrified that i was just setting myself up to get hurt again.
he spent the next 5 months begging to see me. To which I kept saying no. Not as payback for all the times he told me no. But because we hadn’t talked in 5 months and I was in fear of my emotional state and how he could manipulate me especially in person.
finally September 2019 hit. He keeps begging to see me. So I gave up and tell him to meet me at my new place. I had just found a 2 bedroom apartment for rent and snatched it up. I was moving. It was empty in there and I wanted to meet him there for a reason as I felt it was symbolic to us. I was going to tell him this apartment is empty and we are empty. Let’s start new today and build something. Or u can go.
i had a business meeting at 3:30 and couldn’t be late. I told him to meet me at 10am at my new place so we could talk. I brought 2 folding chairs and red wine. He showed up 4.5 hours late, leaving me 15 minutes with him before I had to head off to my meeting. I realized as soon as I saw him that it’s “over”. That even if I’m completely in love with him for reasons I can’t explain to myself or to you, that I can’t allow him to treat me this way. If a man loves you as he says he does, he shows up and does what he says he will do. He doesn’t hurt you. He doesn’t make you cry and question your worth. when he was so late, and I didn’t really have a reaction, he was afraid. He wondered “aren’t u mad”. And I kept saying “it’s okay. I get it.” He tried to kiss me 3x and I turned my face every single time. I then told him he has to leave that I have an appointment to be at. He kinda refused and I had to be insistent on him going. Finally I opened the front door, let him out… and he waited in front of my doorway. And said “will I ever see u again”? And I said “yeah u will”. Then we kept starring into each other’s eyes for 40 seconds and then I smirked and said “bye ______” lowered my eyes, and just closed my door. I broke down badly. Not crying but just emotional spent. He didn’t even apologize seemed completely devoid of remorse. It wasn’t the first time he acted this way either.
i tried to act like it didn’t bother me, I tried to act like I didn’t care. But I just had someone beg to see me for 5 months only to be almost 5 hours late to meet me after not seeing each other in over a year.
so I talked to him the rest of that day and that night. And when I woke up on sep 10th, I left his text on D. The ugly truth smacked me in the face as soon as I woke up the next morning. I never answered and deleted his thread. I was broken and I didn’t know how to communicate it. A week later, I changed my phone number because of him.
#20 never reached out to me or contacted me after September 10th. In feb 2020, he deleted his kik account. In April 2020, I deleted mine. It’s dec 2020. I still am in love with him and I’m not sure why. I guess it’s that feeling that happened as soon as we met. Everyday I hope he’s happy, loved and healthy. That’s what real love is. Learning to love yourself by Letting go of someone you Love because they only hurt you. That being said, it wasn’t easy but I don’t regret ghosting him. It will bother me forever that the only man I ever truly fell in love with is not someone I even got to say goodbye to the proper way. Or even have 1 intimate night or day together. My time was wasted for 3 years. And if you’re reading this and someone is wasting your time, let them go before you lose yourself as what happened to me.
After Sep 9th I went through a severe depression. I refused to take showers or brush my hair. I sat in corners many days alone for hours just crying. This went on for months. I had beautiful long brunette hair down my back. And it was so knotty my hairdresser had to cut it off practically at the root. Not only did I lose him, but I lost a big piece of my identity which was my beautiful Long curly hair. He will never know.
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Anonymous
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Why did you “ghost” a friend?
I think it's a misconception that ghosting is always cowardly and selfish. It never accounts for situations where the friend who did the ghosting tried communicating and nothing changed.
I ghosted a friend because they said they would be there if I needed to talk. They never replied to my messages and we were always cordial with each other besides that. I realised that friend didn't care about me at all. I was excluded from group activities and never told why. We shared in common having difficulties in social situations and medical conditions but knowing my struggles, this friend still ignored me when I needed someone to talk to.
I ghosted another because I had a crush on her. I mentioned it, knowing I'd be rejected. We remained friends but it hurt and I needed space from her. The feelings ran deeper, and I buried them but I had no one to talk to and internalised it. I knew from past experience that I would lose this friend if I could not get my emotions under control. Already anxious and depressed, I distanced myself. It was made easier because she blew me off when I tried to make plans with her. I haven't talked to her in months and as long as lingering thoughts and feelings persist, I never will ever again.
I had a realisation that I'm polyamorous but I still have just the one partner who knows and accepts this. But it all happened around the same time as the events I mentioned above. Those who knew thought that meant something was lacking in my relationship. Nothing is lacking, I just have a lot of love to give. But it's a side of myself I hate and so I don't expect to be wholly accepted. So, not feeling accepted overall, being excluded and having feelings that made me feel sick within myself and even more depressed, I ghosted the whole group.
There's more, but I have covered the gist of it. I knew I wouldn't be missed and being alone for the past few months has given me time to reflect. If I were happy, I would have stayed. That's essentially all there is to it.
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Waheda Islam
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B.S. in Criminal Justice (college major) & Writing (college minor), John Jay College of Criminal Justice3y
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People who have ghosted someone, why did you do it instead of communicating with them?
Everyone at some point has done it. We’re not proud of it, but it has been done. There has been one particular incident with me, that stayed with me for a long time. I felt so guilty about it and couldn’t get it out of my mind until I dealt with the situation.
Generally, I will clear the air and communicate what is on my mind. But very rarely will I just drop all contact and disappear.
I was talking with a guy, he was friendly. Nice, charming, made me laugh. I thought he was a neat guy. I met him once for an event. He arrived so late, but I was with a friend so I didn’t mind so much. My friend was pretty cool and kept awkwardly announcing his sexuality as though that was relevant. The guy was a good sport and got along with me and my friend well. I decided to walk him back to the train as I was going to go home with my friend. The guy was shorter than me, which I wasn’t told beforehand and a bit…cheap. He kept talking about how stingy he is and how proud he is of it. I didn’t say anything, I was polite and nodded along. I gave him a goodbye hug and told him we should hang out again.
Around that time, I had reconnected with my ex. We had history together and it was becoming serious very fast. I had to make a decision. While I wasn’t attracted to this guy, I didn’t want to lead him on. I had no intention of it getting serious, but he may have. I really did want to get back with my ex, and if we did I was going to drop contact with all other men I was speaking to. I didn’t have the heart to tell the guy that me and my ex were hitting it off. So I took the coward route. I dropped all contact. One day he called me and I had already deleted his contact. So when I pick up I ask, “who is this?” He told me his name and I was so embarrassed that I hung up on him. I never forgot how badly I treated him.
It took a year or so, but I texted him. I was going to call him but I didn’t know if he was seeing someone or not. I texted him apologizing for my behavior. That he did nothing wrong. That it was my fault for not being honest with him. I should have communicated with him that I was reconnecting with my ex and it wouldn’t have been appropriate to continue speaking with him. Regardless if he liked that answer or not, he would have appreciated the honesty than wondering why I treated him so badly.
Ghosting is something everyone does. Some do it with loved ones, others do it with acquaintances. But I think it’s a cheap way to handle a situation. If you’re anything like me, the guilt will eat you up alive. If you don’t come to peace with it, you will constantly be haunted by how poorly you treated someone who didn’t deserve it.
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Kash Richardson
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Updated 1y
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How do you handle it when a girl suddenly ghost you?
My dad gave me advice when I was 16 years old because I applied for a job and didn’t get it. This is good advice though for dating…
“When you are applying for a job, don’t apply just to one company. Apply to at least 10, 20 companies and don’t stop applying either. That way you got options, you are creating far more opportunities to find the right company, the right job and team you want to work with.”
Do the same with girls.
Girls will complain about how guys talk to more than one girl but they don’t get, we…are…not girls, we are not women. The rules are different.
For girls, women, they will ALWAYS until they hit the wall, get older, lose sexual market value, have an abundance of men to choose from, guys approaching them but as guys we don’t have that. If you’re not hot looking, forget playing by that rule of talking to one girl.
That’s why you talk to more girls, have more options or you put all your time on one girl and she ghosts you, or she changes her mind and you are right back to square one.
Don’t just talk to one girl, investing all your time, emotions and do away texting back and forth as well to girls.
Instead use texting as a tool to meet.
If girl says “you seeing someone else,” just reply, “well, I am still looking, seeing others because I am not yet exclusive to any girl right now. That’s how dating works until…you find the one.”
For now, let it go, she made a choice, don’t give her a second chance.
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Anthony Caprio
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Former Manager at Quick Chek (2018–2022)3y
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Have you ever ghosted someone? If so, why?
I’ve ghosted someone before.
Reason being she was making me very uncomfortable.
At first, I was really flattered. This girl was so into me, and she was protective, and jealous, and, in my opinion, beautiful.
This was really different for me, usually it was the other way around. I had always been the chaser, the conversation starter, the initiator, the jealous, and the protective. Having someone feel that towards me made me feel warm at first.
However, it reached a point where it started to be troubling. This girl requested, no, demanded my phone password after about two weeks of talking. When I didn’t give it to her she got very upset with me. She wanted my snap map on always. I’m not active on snap, so it happened to turn off quite frequently after the 8 hour time cap. She’d freak out and text me asking where I was. All in all it started to make me feel really trapped and uncomfortable. After a deep talk with her and no changes, I ghosted her over the summer.
Not sure how shes doing. I am kind of curious, but I don’t want to give her any sorts of false hope by adding her back or asking her to meet up for lunch.
It gave me a new outlook on relationships, and sort of taught me a more lax, trusting approach towards women. I realized how us guys can make females uncomfortable even if we didn’t intend to.
A great learning experience.
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Elena Ledoux
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Chief Operating Officer of Boss Security Screens (2020–present)5y
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Do 5'5" guys ever get girls?
Yes, that's how 5′5″ guys are made in the first place!
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Ian Allen
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4y
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If the girl you ghosted messaged you saying, "I hope you are okay, wow, you must be really busy, it's okay, I can be patient, I'm waiting on you." What would you do?
Stop ghosting her. It’s a wildly immature way to kill a relationship of any type. It’s more damaging than telling someone you’re not interested in them. Just get back to her, apologize for ghosting her (she’s owed an apology), and explain your motivations behind not wanting to interact with her. Be nice about it if possible; there’s no need to crush her ego. Passive aggression is never the right path.
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Habib F
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Political Animal, Physician, Goofball, and All Around Nerd.5y
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Why do some guys go ghost?
It’s easier than giving reasons face to face.
I’ve broken up with enough people to know that doing so is hard.
You don’t want to be unnecessarily cruel, so you have to take great care to find the right word.
Sometimes, the person you’re breaking up with hangs on to the literal meaning of your word, because they don’t want to understand the overall meaning: I don’t want to date you anymore.
So, to avoid all that, many people, men and women, prefer to ghost. It can be really cruel to be on the receiving end of it. But it’s so common among people my age and younger that it’s lost its sting for me.
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Michael Sotomayor
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11mo
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Why do some guys enjoy making a girl fall for them just to ghost her?
Command and conquer is what I call it. Men love going into battle and coming out the victor to enjoy the fruits of their labor. Honestly I think it’s just little kids having fun with their plastic swords. Personally I’m the type to first put it all on the table. Once we got that out of the way then I start to work. I have to make sure we both know it’s a no strings attached affair. I don’t like going through the back door meaning I don’t have to lie to get what I want. But yeah that’s little boys and their nature. You have two ways to deal with this next time. One, ask questions. Many questions. Make sure you understand what’s going on. Don’t be afraid to make them run away from asking questions. Two, don’t sleep with them. Even if they become frustrated and cry. Don’t sleep with them. This will smoke out the f-k boys from the men that want something serious with you. Protect yourself.
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Cheese Ball
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absolute b a l l e r from Baller University (Graduated 1900)1y
Yeah. Just did like 15 minutes ago. I did message her saying that I enjoyed talking to her the pasts months and was really sorry before I blocked her on a bunch of my social medias. Still feel guilty though.. I hope she doesn’t feel too bad about it, but it was necessary. I could not allow myself to become attached.
From the distance between us, and our extremely different backgrounds, any kind of relationship would never work out anyways. I’ve put considerable thought into this, and I have decided. It’s weird tho, how I have talked to this girl for hours every single day for months, and yet th… (more)
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Geetanjali Sharma
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I do not understand relationships.Updated 7y
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Friendzone and Friendzoning: Do girls get friendzoned?
This is really a silly question.
Of course, we do get friendzoned all the time.
Let me tell you a story. I used to have a crush on a boy. We had a lot of similar interests as well- cricket, football, food, music etc. I used to bake chocolate cupcakes for him so that we had more opportunities to interact. We started gelling up, we'd talk and talk. I got to know him. He used to look at me in a way that'd literally make my stomach flip. If my life was a bollywood movie, this would be the moment when a really catchy song plays and I start dancing with him. I thought to myself, this is good progress Geetanjali.
One day, I check my phone and I see a message from him
"I'm taking you out for lunch on monday."
I swear, I was soo happy. Finally. The endless cupcakes I baked were paying off, I suppose. I literally chose my most flattering dress. Again, if my life was a bollywood movie, this would be the moment where I'd blush and start dancing. I told all my friends
"IT'S HAPPENING"
So Monday comes. I shampoo my hair and make an effort to look presentable. I meet him and we go out. The whole time, I AM DYING of excitement and pure bliss and happiness. We'd known each other for a while, it was time he'd stop giving me mixed signals and ask me out already. We are talking and he says:
"Hey Geetu, you know *i can't insert my friend's name*?"
"Yeah"
"Can you please help me make progress with her? I know you are my bro."
Heart. Fucking. Broken. I swear, I could hear my heart break into a billion pieces. Bro? Really?
"Um, sure. Why didn't you tell me about this before?"
That was the most awkward "date" of my life. The entire time, I was faking a smile when on the inside, I was devdas. :p
Moral of the story- Yes, we get friendzoned.
I think it's karma's way of getting back at me.
Edit 1- Please do not sympathise with me. :P
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David Yanor
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