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blantant
ˈbleɪtnt ]
(불평하는 뜻의) 노골적인
우리는 거짓말을 입에 달고 살 정도로 익숙해져 있다.
순진한 옛날 사람들은 "우리 집에 금송아지가 있었다,"는 거짓말을 듣고
부러워하는 사람도 많았다.
이제 세월이 흐르면서 거짓말도 '지능적'으로 하기 때문에
옛날처럼 순진한 (?) 사람들은 속아 넘어가기 쉬운 세대에 우리는 살고 있다.
그런 지능적 거짓말에 '다단계 속임수'도 포함된다.
The BLATANT defiance was so sweetly uttered that most of the people didn't know how to respond.
그 판매 수법이 너무 달콤하게 말해지므로
대부분의 사람들은 어떻게 반응해야할지 몰랐다.
blantant 는 Latin 어 blatire 가 그 뿌리인데
'말은 많이 재잘거린다'는 뜻이므로
말이 많은 사람들이 노골적으로 불평하고
남을 속이는 일에 익숙하다는 긴 의미를 갖고 있다고 본다.
이 세상에서 제일 뻔뻔하면서 노골적인 집단은
3 세대 세습 정치체제의 북한이라는 데 이의를 제기할 사람은 드물 것이다.
(특히 핵무기에 관한 것)
The North Korean nuclear test has constituted an act of BLATANTdefiance of the UN Security Council,
a violation of international law.
북한의 핵실험은 UN 안정보장 이사회의 국제법 위반에 대한
노골적 반항으로 여겨져왔다.
요즈음 youtube 의 편리함을 이용해
순진하거나 무지에 가까운 사람들을 '고의적으로 심리적 조정을 하는 자들'이 있는데
그런 사람들을 심리학 용어로 gaslighter 라고 부른다.
Even when presented with evidence, gaslighters BLATANTLY blatantly
deny personal wrongdoing, commonly by manipulating the truth.
(확실한) 증거를 제시할 때 조차도
심리적 조정자 (gaslighter) 는 사실을 조정하므로 개인적 잘못을 노골적으로 부인한다.
(Pshchology Today, July 21, 2023)
그러한 gaslighter 는 한국의 정치인의 모습이라고 해도 부정할 사람이 없을 것이다,
A lot of Korean poilitiacians self-assertion turned out to BLATANT lies.
많은 한국 정치인들의 주장을 뻔뻔한 거짓말임이라고 판명되었다.
그런 정치인과 다르게 ~
Some conscientious people are guilty of their BLATANT errors.
몇몇 양심있는 사람들은 그들의 뻔뻔한 오류에 대해
양심이 찌렸다
In Your Corner
SELF-ESTEEM
4 Attempts Gaslighters Make to Ruin your Self-Esteem
And what to do about it.
Posted July 21, 2023
Reviewed by Monica Vilhauer
Our teacher is guilty of blatant favouritism.
How could she swallow such a blatant lie?
KEY POINTS
They turned out to be blatant lies.
7. Everyone is tired of their blatant effronteries.
뻔뻔함
It shows such a blatant disregard for the value of money.
This was a blatant act of vandalism perpetrated by an individual or group as a deliberate act.
저지르다
The blatant defiance was so sweetly uttered that he didn't know how to respond.
Gaslighters aim to ruin the self-esteem of their targets.
In the morning he told me a blatant lie saying he went out for fresh air.
Her mouth dropped open at the blatant threat.
It is regrettable if the UK government chooses to praise the US government even while it remains in blatant defiance of international lawthe nuclear test constituted an act of 'blatant defiance' of the UN Security Council, a violation of international law.
Recognizing gaslighting tactics is crucial for combatting them.
Connection with others and self-compassion help sustain self-esteem and reality.
Source: vladans/istock
Gaslighting can cause confusion and issues with self-esteem.Source: vladans/istock
No one is entirely immune to the effects of gaslighting because its tactics are highly effective.
Gaslighting is any attempt made by someone to instill doubt in your perception of reality.
1. Deception: Even when presented with evidence, gaslighters will blatantly deny personal wrongdoing, commonly by manipulating the truth.
The gaslighter will attempt to make their victim think they are crazy for thinking they would do anything negative in the first place, no matter how bizarre the situation appears.
This form of gaslighting leads to confusion and self-doubt, as the target’s thoughts will become distorted to fit the gaslighter’s version of reality.
It can present in any relationship where an imbalance of power exists—not just romantic relationships but also relationships with family and friends, at work, in the medical field, in academia or in societal structures as a whole.
The aim to negatively impact ego strengths and personal values causes confusion that makes it difficult to determine when gaslighting is even happening.
blatant (adj.)
coined 1596 by Edmund Spenser in "The Faerie Queen," in blatant beast, a thousand-tongued monster representing slander; perhaps primarily an alliterative word, but perhaps suggested by Latin blatire "to babble." It entered general use by 1650s as "noisy in an offensive and vulgar way;" the sense of "obvious, glaringly conspicuous" is from 1889. Related: Blatantly; blatancy.
also from 1596
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The payback for the gaslighter is the erosion of their target’s self-esteem, which allows them to gain control over the other person and perpetuate various cycles of abuse.
Self-esteem is the confidence in one’s own right as a person to be happy, worthy and deserving of getting what we want and need. Someone who displays strong self-esteem is threatening to a gaslighter or emotional abuser, as it is more difficult to manipulate them.
In those cases, the gaslighter may double down on their efforts, which is why awareness is a key factor to self-protection.
4 Attempts Gaslighters Make to Ruin Your Self-Esteem
1. Deception: Even when presented with evidence, gaslighters will blatantly deny personal wrongdoing, commonly by manipulating the truth.
The gaslighter will attempt to make their victim think they are crazy for thinking they would do anything negative in the first place, no matter how bizarre the situation appears.
This form of gaslighting leads to confusion and self-doubt, as the target’s thoughts will become distorted to fit the gaslighter’s version of reality.
An example was when my co-author, survivor and podcast host Kendall Ann Combs confronted her ex-abuser after he “accidentally” cut a chunk of hair off her head.
The situation was so bizarre and startling that when he gaslit her using deception to think she was being unreasonable and paranoid, his tactics worked.
Having a firm sense of one’s own reality is important when considering self-esteem. Studies have shown that reality therapy, which is a client-centered form of cognitive behavioral therapy, is an effective therapy for improving self-esteem. This form of therapy focuses on improving current situations in our lives, as opposed to fixating on problems from the past, and helping us get needs met in the present. A gaslighter wants nothing to do with the reality of the present and will instead continue to fixate on the past which is more difficult to organize and defend.
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2. Indirect persuasion. This form of gaslighting often occurs after the stages of love-bombing where you have grown to idealize your abuser. Once they have your trust, they can more effectively make suggestions that are not conducive to your actual desires, appearing innocent while doing so. Jackson MacKenzie outlined this tactic in his book, Psychopath Free, where the gaslighter insults someone from a past relationship, while complimenting you in order to get you to comply with things they want from you now. Some examples given in his book include:
My ex and I always fought. We never fight.
My ex always needed to talk on the phone. You’re not needy or demanding.
My ex would always nag me about getting a job. You’re so much more understanding.
These “compliments” are effective forms of manipulation meant to to silence your desires, needs, and emotions. If you choose to express contrasting thoughts, your abuser will likely counter with the silent treatment or other forms of verbal aggression, whether it be blatant or passive. Having your own opinion puts you at risk of losing the idealized version of you they've created, but constantly censoring your thoughts and emotions is harmful for your self-esteem, as it impedes your ability to think for yourself and assert your own needs.
THE BASICS
What Is Self-Esteem?
Find a therapist near me
3. Projection: This is a tactic used by a gaslighter who struggles with their own self-esteem, so they aim to ruin yours. The gaslighter will defend their insecurities by denying personal issues and “pushing” them onto others. The phrase, “the pot calling the kettle black” is an effective way to describe this form of gaslighting. Once your self-esteem is negatively impacted, causing self-doubt, it makes accusations about your character flaws more believable. No one should intentionally want to make you feel bad about yourself or to diminish your self-esteem or self-worth. No matter what. And if you find yourself in a cycle where someone constantly is, it is likely you are experiencing gaslighting in the form of projection.
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4. Aligning People Against the Victim. The gaslighter will work to make their target believe that others think they are just as crazy or defective as the gaslighter says. This tactic is neither casual nor passive. Instead, it is overtly dismissive and aggressive, further eroding self-esteem and making it difficult to connect with positive feelings about oneself. Imagine if you woke up one day, hospitalized, and were told that you had suffered a mental breakdown and everything you thought happened last week was a dream. Now imagine it was not just one person who told you this but a collection of people, even those you care about. The effects of a thorough gaslighting regimen can feel just as disarming. By working to align others against you, it is less likely you will reach out, even though processing your experience and getting support from the people you trust is exactly what is needed.
Reclaiming Your Self-Esteem and Sense of Reality
fizzles/istock
Connection with others can help improve self-esteem after gaslighting.Source: fizzles/istock
The last person who will help you reclaim your self-esteem is the one who is gaslighting you. They do not want you to have confidence in your right for joy and love, and so any efforts you make to defend yourself will likely be weaponized with other forms of gaslighting. Choosing not to go to the gaslighter for confirmation is the first step in reclaiming your self-esteem.
SELF-ESTEEM ESSENTIAL READS
Is There a Dress Code for Stay-at-Home Partners?
The Emotional Health of Children
Next is addressing your inner self-talk and cognitions. Because self-esteem is an experience realized through thoughts and perceptions, engaging in compassionate self-talk can be a powerful way to regain your self-worth and sense of reality. Kristen Neff, self-compassion expert, author and professor suggests talking to yourself as you would a friend. You can try this by thinking of a goal you are struggling to accomplish and checking in about how you normally speak to yourself about it. Now ask yourself if you would say these things to a friend or loved one? If not, how can you reframe these statements to be more compassionate? Having a growth mindset and allowing for mistakes will result in more creative thinking and proactive action.
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Finally, and potentially most important, is choosing to surround yourself with supportive people. Get perspectives from others about the gaslighting, and fact check with yourself and with them. If you are not ready to reach out and delve into your painful experiences, spend time with your inner self through journaling, meditation, or speaking out loud. Sorting through your feelings can help you regain your reality, allowing you to remember that you are not crazy, you are not alone, and you are not broken.
Portions of this post were adapted from my book co-authored with Kendall Ann Combs: What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship and my forthcoming book: Gaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse.