It's an ecological disaster to have such a hot weather with no parallel anytime in the human history. Embarrassed to say, I'm proud to be the first to appear in the office and leave the air conditioner on before other crew members arrive. This is what has been missing from my life. With much less acknowledgement, I'd be more willing to support them. This is a visceral reminder of everyday realities of having to serve others. This is nothing to brag about, but just my obligation. There is excellent reason to believe that virtually all humans are born with a moral sense, and if I don't do something for others, I'm bound to get lean and mean. It sounds like that I'm striving more painfully and less profitably, but there will sure come a time when enough is enough. If I ever deserved any good comments, they would be "most improved," or "honorable mention" at the least. However, I must say, as an extreme originalist, that I seem to have lost my way. As a matter of fact, when I have felt like entering a seemingly dangerous stretch of the road, I might have already changed into lower gears amid fears that I would start falling apart any minute. What is true is that I have been more highly aware that I had to contend with my mercurial temperament in the first place. This sense of control is really what I have managed to accomplish during my time here, but it should be weighted with meaning that extends far beyond this kind of improvement or a simple matter of survival. This doesn't necessarily mean that I can prevent me from spiraling out of control. However, I'm not much of a loose cannon any longer, preying on the anxieties of others even on the brink of collapse. After all, I've come to believe that inaction is the safest in danger.