|
같은 마음 갖는 사람
이렇게 찾기 어려워서야 !
영어 이야기 2082
commiserate
kəˈmizəreit
가엽게 여기다
동정을 표하다
이 세상이 너무 이기적인데다가 감정이 극단적이어서
'이웃 없는 세대'에 살고 있다.
1970 년대에만 해도 어느 집에 초상이 나면
주로 고인의 집에 빈소를 채리고 조문객을 맞았다.
그러다가 아파트가 많이 들어서면서
이웃의 도움보다는 피해를 입는다는 생각이 팽배해지면서
이웃집의 초상은 위로의 대상이 아니라
불편의 대상이 되는 경향으로 흐르게 되었다.
물론 1970년대에는 지금 처럼 병원에 빈소를 마련하는 일이
거의 없었던 기억이 난다
장례식장의 'boom'은 이웃을 꺼려하는 아파트 문화의 소산이라고 볼 수 있다.
The neighbors scarcely COMMISETATEDthe bereaved
but thought it inconvinent
이웃은 (초상집) 유가족을 거의 위로하지 않았고
그냥 불편하다고 생각했다
commiserate 은 Latin 어 com (함께)라는 접두어에
miserari (블쌍하다, 한심하다) 를 합친 낱말이다
상대방의 마음 (기쁨, 슬픔)에 '동참'한다는 뜻이다.
miserari 는 miserable 의 뿌리도 되며
갑짜기 프랑스의 '빅토 유고'의 레미제라블 생각이 난다
레미제라블을 그냥 한 낱말로 써서 그 뜻을 몰랐는데
나중에 알고 보니 Les Miserable 이어서
프랑스 말이지만 그 뜻을 쉽게 이햐할 수 있었다.
아무튼 commisertate는 상대방을 이해하고 배려하는
인지상정 ( 人之常情)이라는 말이다
그리고 이런 영어 속담이 생각난다
Unless you have walked in his (or her) shoes,
you cannot COMMISERATE with her (or him.)
당신이 그 (또는 그녀)의 입장에 있지 않으며
당신은 그녀 (또는 그)를 측은히 여길 수 없다.
우리는 처음 만난 사람과 친해지려고
그 (또는 그녀)와의 공통분모를 찾으려고 한다.
고향, 같은 성을 가졌으면 '본관'을 묻고
학연에서도 그러하다
왜냐하면 점점 세분화 되고 다양한 사람들이 이 사회를 구성하면서
공통점을 찾기 어려울 때가 많기 때문이다.
Even though being a highly sensitive person is less common,
it is possible to find others who share your characteristics.
비록 너 높은 (민감한) 사람은 공통점이 적지만
당신의 특징을 공유하는 사람들을 찾는 것은 가능하다
You can COMMISERATE together, share stories, laughter, and provide authentic empathy.
They will make it easier to tolerate those who are different from you.
당신은 함께 동정 (슬픔과 기쁨) 하고 화젯거리를 공유하며 함께 웃고
진정한 동정심을 느낄 수 있고
(그 결과) 그러한 일들은 당신과 다른 사람들을 용서하기 쉽게 만든다.
(Pshchology Today, July 28, 2023)
한국 정치인들은 공통점 보다 다른점에 더 비중을 두기 때문에
영원히 만날 수 없는 길을 걷고 그 결과 국 민들만 피해를 입고 있다
Your older child will feel even more grown up
Since most of Korean politicians can't COMMISERATE each other.
they never feel more grown up.
한국의 대부분의 정치인들이 서로 같은 마음을 품을 수 없으므로
그들은 성장할 수 있다는 느낌을 전혀가지 못한다.
이런 풍토가 아쉽다 (정치인만이 아니라 한국 국민 전체가)
Well, you have me, and I have you to commiserate.
자, 당신은 내편이고 나는 당신과 뜻을 같이 하는
(기쁨과 슬픔을 공유) 당신이 있다.
Your older child will feel even more grown up when he can commiserate with you.
Carla Shuman Ph.D.
From Trial to Triumph
RESILIENCE
How to Be Resilient When You Are Highly Sensitive
These five strategies help in difficult situations.
COPosted July 28, 2023
Reviewed by Monica Vilhauer
Today, we commiserate with those who have lost loved ones in the war.
Until you have walked in his shoes, you cannot commiserate with him.
Well, you have me, and I have you to commiserate.
Complaining brings people together to commiserate and to support each other
in how miserable their situation is.
Your older child will feel even more grown up when he can commiserate with you.
I hate it when rich people pretend they commiserate with the poor!
Today, we commiserate with those who have lost loved ones in the war.
COMMISERATE a person for my poverty
COMMISERATE with her on the loss of her only son
KEY POINTS
b
Even though being a highly sensitive person is less common, it is possible to find others who share your characteristics.
Having peers who truly understand and provide support that is genuine is extremely important.
You can commiserate together, share stories, laughter, and provide authentic empathy.
They will make it easier to tolerate those who are different from you.
It’s become common for highly sensitive people to share their experiences online. That visibility is important; it’s worthwhile to improve everyone’s understanding of highly sensitive people. But while the point of telling other people about our experiences is so they can support us, it’s also so we can learn and grow from things that are challenging. Being highly sensitive and resilient is not mutually exclusive. It’s important to figure out how you can be both.
commiserate (v.)
"feel sorrow, regret, or compassion for through sympathy," c. 1600, from Latin commiseratus, past participle of commiserari "to pity, bewail," from com-, here perhaps an intensive prefix (see com-) + miserari "bewail, lament," from miser "wretched" (see miser). Related: Commiserated; commiserating; commiserable. An Old English loan-translation of commiserari was efensargian.
1540s, "miserable person, wretch," from Latin miser (adj.) "unhappy, wretched, pitiable, in distress," a word for which "no acceptable PIE pedigree has been found" [de Vaan]. The oldest English sense now is obsolete; the main modern meaning of "money-hoarding person" ("one who in wealth conducts himself as one afflicted with poverty" - Century Dictionary) is recorded by 1560s, from the presumed unhappiness of such people. The older sense is preserved in miserable, misery, etc.
Besides general wretchedness, the Latin word connoted also "intense erotic love" (compare slang got it bad "deeply infatuated") and hence was a favorite word of Catullus. In Greek a miser was kyminopristes, literally "a cumin seed splitter." In Modern Greek, he might be called hekentabelones, literally "one who has sixty needles." The German word, filz, literally "felt," preserves the image of the felt slippers which the miser often wore in caricatures. Lettish mantrausis "miser" is literally "money-raker."
also from c. 1600
It's possible to be both a highly sensitive person and resilient.
Resilience doesn't mean changing who you are.
Actively cultivate coping strategies and a strong support network.
@mcreynoldsph / Canva
@mcreynoldsph / Canva
The term “highly sensitive people,“ or HSP as it is referred to in popular psychology, has become the focus of blogs, TikTok videos, and influencers.
While the term often appears in pop culture, there is some research documenting heightened sensitivity, especially among the Neurodivergent population.
The term “highly sensitive person“ generally refers to those who are much more easily affected by their environment, who are more empathetic than most, and whose emotions run very intensely.
article continues after advertisement
The consensus among those who identify as highly sensitive is that it makes life much more challenging and stressful, and that they are often misunderstood by the rest of the world.
They long for compassion and understanding from others.
This is understandable, but it’s also important to remember that we live in a world that is not always accommodating.
For this reason, everyone needs to build resilience. I believe it is possible to be a highly sensitive person and to become strong and resilient when facing challenging circumstances.
Here are some strategies to consider if you are a highly sensitive person working to become resilient.
Find your superpowers.
If you are highly sensitive, your superpowers are intelligence, imagination, empathy, self-awareness, insight, and intuition.
Use these amazing superpowers to your advantage in situations where you are more likely to be uncomfortable or more emotionally reactive.
In situations where you can plan ahead, think about how you can prepare yourself to adjust to environments that are not as good of a fit to your highly sensitive personality.
Use your intelligence and imagination to create a set of coping skills that you can use to adjust to unexpected circumstances and keep that in reserve.
Take yourself outside your comfort zone. Becoming stronger means that you have to build muscles.
People who go to the gym do not start out doing 100 push-ups. On their first day, they may have never done a push-up. They may feel weak and afraid they will hurt themselves.
But gradually going outside our comfort zone allows us all to re-envision what we are capable of doing. If it’s hard for you to be in a crowd, get yourself a pair of earplugs and go to a busy place for 30 minutes, or whatever you can tolerate.
Think about what is scariest and most overstimulating, and then make a plan to gradually expose yourself to things that are mildly discomforting.
Prepare for a difficult social interaction by rehearsing ahead of time what you might say and how to gauge your reaction to things that trigger you.
Avoiding situations that make us uncomfortable prevents us from growing emotionally.
Believe in yourself.
We are all wired differently. The aspects of your personality that make you who you are do not need to change.
Developing coping strategies to handle overstimulating environments and difficult social interactions does not mean that you change who you are as a person.
Share your experiences with others. Most people will not understand what it means to be a highly sensitive person.
Some people will never get it, and that’s just something that you have to contend with.
But many people are willing to learn, and it may improve some of your relationships if you share what it’s like to be highly sensitive.
In addition, it’s also helpful to share what helps you get through hard situations more easily.
This is especially true with people that you see regularly, such as friends, family, and coworkers.
Find your people.
Even though being a highly sensitive person is less common, it is possible to find others who share your characteristics.
Having peers who truly understand and provide support that is genuine is extremely important.
You can commiserate together, share stories, laughter, and provide authentic empathy. They will make it easier to tolerate those who are different from you.
It’s become common for highly sensitive people to share their experiences online. That visibility is important; it’s worthwhile to improve everyone’s understanding of highly sensitive people. But while the point of telling other people about our experiences is so they can support us, it’s also so we can learn and grow from things that are challenging. Being highly sensitive and resilient is not mutually exclusive. It’s important to figure out how you can be both.
THE BASICS
What Is Resilience?