What To Do When Someone Catcalls You On The Street
"Hey, sweetie, smile for me."
"I had to stop you. You're so beautiful."
"C'mon, baby, let me pull your hair."
That one got me to whip around and unleash a string of expletives so obscene, it would embarrass an Urban Dictionary comment monitor.
Street harassment is one of the most relatable social interactions It takes many forms: catcalls, vulgar gestures, whistling, making kissing noises, and stalking. Sixty-five percent of women and 25% of men in the U.S. report
While it may seem relatively innocent, street harassment does have detrimental effects. Immediately after the incident, targets report feeling annoyed, angry, embarrassed, threatened, or scared the situation will escalate. They contemplate how they "should have" reacted.
Those consequences linger. "It really impacts the way we move through the world," says Debjani Roy Hollaback
It's tough to shrug off. So we reached out to the experts for tips on dealing with catcallers.
If You're Being Catcalled
Assess your safety. Because every situation is different, there is no perfect response. If it's nighttime and you're walking in a desolate area, or your harasser is in a group, the best response might be not engaging at all.
Make eye contact. Strong body language, particularly eye contact, will surprise your harasser. "It tends to work well because then they're too shocked to retaliate," says Holly Kearl, founder of Stop Street Harassment and author of " Stop Street Harassment: Making Public Places Safe and Welcoming For Women
Use a firm voice. In an audible, unwavering tone, tell your harasser that his or her behavior is not okay. Try negative statements like, "No, leave me alone." "I don't appreciate it." "What you're saying is disrespectful." "Go away."
If you're feeling bold and the situation allows it, you can turn the tables on your harasser. Ask them to repeat what they said or loudly repeat it, comment on how they look, or take their photo.
Avoid swearing.It's hard to resist, but cursing can backfire. "While it may work in some instances, this type of reaction is the most likely to make the harasser respond with anger and violence," Kearl says.
Walk away. After you've made eye contact and said your negative statement, keep moving, Roy says. "Keep it short so the harasser doesn't think it's an opening to a conversation."
Fake a phone call. If your harasser is still following you, cross the street and pretend to call a friend. Tell her you're just down the block and will be there soon. Or threaten to dial 911. And if you fear the situation is escalating, make the call!
If You're A Bystander
Watching street harassment happen is almost as painful as being a target of it. Hollaback suggests using one of the "four D's" of bystander intervention.
Intervene directly. If you've assessed the situation and decided it's safe for you to become involved, you might approach the harasser and tell him or her to "knock it off," or loudly say "ugh, that is so gross" as you walk by.
Create a distraction. There are a few ways to disrupt the harasser's antics without actually addressing the harasser. Approach the target and ask for directions, offer your seat, or act like you know each other. Say, "I've been looking everywhere for you. We have to meet our friends!"
Find a delegate. If you're by a construction site, seek out the foreman. In the subway station, find a transit authority worker. Rally people standing around you who look like they would be more confident approaching the harasser. "You have the power to de-escalate the situation," Roy says. "When other people get involved, usually the harasser backs off."
Intervene on delay. When the situation has passed, ask the target if he or she is okay. Simply validating their experience by telling them "I'm sorry that happened" or "ugh, that happens to me all the time," creates solidarity and makes a huge difference.
What To Do After The Fact
Remind yourself who's to blame. Being harassed can bring up confusing feelings. "We feel very ashamed about the way we responded," Roy says. Rather than harp on what went wrong or right, remind yourself that it is your harasser's job to feel guilty, not yours.
Tell a friend. Talking about the incident and how it made you feel helps you gain support, give a voice to your experience, and realize you're not alone.
Share your experience on social media. Websites like Hollaback and Stop Street Harassment
"A lot of people don't identify harassment as a problem. It's just something we tolerate," Roy says.
But a switch flips when they hear of a sister, friend, or daughter's experience. Only then, do our communities, representatives, and harassers move together toward a solution.
1. Have you heard of "catcalling"?
2. Have you ever experienced catcalling? (asking for both genders)
3. How did you react and why?
4. Why do you think people catcalling?
5. Do you think catcalling is a major issue all over the world?
6. What would you do if you encounter that situation
7. Discuss what is the best way to cope with catcalling.
Career coaches reveal 6 clear signs you need to quit your job
- Career experts advise people to mold their soul-crushing jobs into something more meaningful — but sometimes, a job sends clear signals that it's best to get out right away.
- According to experts, there are six breaking points that indicate it's the right time to move on from a job.
- For instance, some roles can cause prolonged, acute stress that puts workers at risk for burnout. Physical signs to watch out for include trouble sleeping, stomach pains, and hair loss.
- Or if you love your side hustle and it's starting to look like a reliable way to earn a living, it might be time to ditch your 9-to-5 to pursue your passion.
- Before you quit, make a list of everything that wasn't working at your last company to help you zero in on a culture that will help you thrive in your future role.
- Click here for more BI Prime stories.
Dream of quitting your job? Here's some good news: The unemployment rate has hit a 49-year low, giving workers more leverage, and the data indicates that people who switch jobs end up earning more.
A strong economy isn't the only indicator that it's the right time to move on from a job, though. Sometimes, your current role sends clear signals that it's time to get out — stat.
"Sunday scaries, or a feeling of dread that you have to go into work on Monday, are often the first sign of trouble," said Melody Wilding
While career experts recommend trying to mold a soul-crushing job into a fulfilling experience, at some point your best option is to throw in the towel. Here are six breaking points that indicate it's the right time to brush up your resume.
Read more: The ultimate guide to creating an impressive LinkedIn resume, according to an expert recruiter, hiring manager, professor, and career coach
Your job is affecting your health
Every job can cause stress from time to time. Some roles, though, cause prolonged, acute stress that puts workers at risk for burnout, an occupation-related syndrome now recognized by the World Health Organization
"Physical signs to watch out for include trouble sleeping, stomach pains, and hair loss," said Wilding.
You don't have to take on all of the responsibilities at your company on your own. Delegate tasks to spread work out among your team, and seek out a mental health professional to learn how to manage stress. If things don't improve soon, put in your two-week's notice for the sake of your health.
"No job is worth sacrificing your wellbeing for. If you find yourself in a toxic workplace situation, then it's wise to consider moving elsewhere," said Widling.
Your work feels meaningless
Work should provide a sense of purpose. It might be helping you achieve a financial goal (like paying off debt or saving for a house), or perhaps it's connecting you to something bigger, such as improving your community.
"We all need meaning in our lives, and work is where we spend a whole lot of our time, so having that as one of our sources makes a lot of sense … but it's on us to figure out how to create that for ourselves," said Rebecca Fraser-Thill, a Pivot career coach and the director of faculty engagement and outreach for Bates Center for Purposeful Work, which helps people find employment that aligns with their interests and values.
Many of us get stuck in roles that lack meaning, though. In fact, 66 percent of American workers surveyed in a recent Gallup poll were not engaged or were actively disengaged with their jobs
The moment your job starts to feel meaningless, take action. Think about your values and goals — does your position align with them? Can it? If not, it might mean it's time to find something else to do with your career.
You're bored and there's no room for growth
Have things gotten stagnant at work? A dead-end job can prevent you from reaching your full potential in the long term.
"Humans are driven by a desire to continually learn and grow. If there's a lack of advancement opportunities in your role, you can become discouraged and disengaged," said Wilding.
Before giving up, find a way to challenge yourself. What's missing at your organization? What big-picture ideas do you have brewing that could transform your company? Pick one demanding task and throw your energy into it. A fresh project could breathe new life into a position that's gone stale.
If things still aren't heading in the right direction, pivot away from your current role into a more challenging position somewhere else.
Your relationships at the office have soured beyond repair
The people you work with can turn an average job into a sublime experience — or an amazing position into a soul-destroying endeavor. Feeling friction with the staff? First, explore how you might be contributing to the dynamic and express your concerns, said Wilding. While intimidating, honest and open communication can go a long way to warming up frigid relationships.
But sometimes, a workplace can become so toxic that it's beyond repair and the best thing for you to do is leave. As you begin your search for a new position, make a list of everything that wasn't working at your last company and the key attributes you'd like to have at your next workplace. That will help you zero in on a culture that will help you thrive in your future role.
Read more: I was such a bad micromanager that all my employees quit — and it taught me the one trait all powerful leaders need
Your side hustle has taken off
It's more common than ever for workers to moonlight on passion projects. But let's get real: Working a full-time job and putting in extra hours on your side hustle can leave you sapped for energy. If you love your side hustle and it's starting to look like a reliable way to earn a living, it might be time to ditch your 9-to-5 to pursue your passion.
"Consider making the leap when your side hustle is bringing in consistent income and you have a plan for how you'd scale it," said Wilding. "Be smart about timing. Before quitting, you should evaluate your financial picture. Figure out how much runway you have."
In a survey of 3,560 people conducted by The Hustle
Your job is invading your personal life
It's human nature to complain about your job from time to time. But when occasionally blowing off steam turns into round-the-clock grumbling, you end up sabotaging the few precious hours you have away from the office and potentially damaging your relationships in the process.
"You know your job is negatively affecting your home life if you find yourself constantly complaining about work or distracted by job priorities in your off time," said Wilding. "You may not be able to be fully present at home, which can lead to arguments."
Don't let job-related misery become a constant state of being. Consider cutting your losses and moving on to greener pastures that make you happy from 9 to 5 — and beyond.
1. Have you ever quit your job for certain reasons? and if you had, what were the reasons?
2. What do you think are the most important factors to maintain a job? ex)career development,
vision, income, work hours, people you you are working with, etc)
3. What would be the worst factor to maintain your job above those examples?
4. Are you thinking about getting another job soon? or are you satisfied with your current work?
5. How important it is who you are working with? tell us about your opinion.
6. Why do people hesitate to quit thier job?
7. What are the main factors you should consider about before making a decision (quit)?