참父母經 / Chambumo Gyeong - 134 - 눈물과 정이 많은 소년 / 涙が多く情にあふれた少年 / Training of he

[대태양/김현수]

눈물과 정이 많은 소년

참아버님께서는 어릴 적부터 눈물이 많으셨다. 지극히 정이 많고 동정심 많은 소년이었다. 새나 물고기를 잡아 집에서 기르다가 죽으면 어미의 입장을 생각하며 눈물을 흘리는 애틋한 동심의 정을 발로하셨다. 약한 친구를 괴롭히는 사람과 맞서 싸우기도 하셨다. 밥 굶는 사람이 있다는 소문이 들리면 부모 몰래 쌀독에서 쌀을 퍼다 주셨고, 출산을 했는데도 양식이 없는 집에는 미역과 쌀을 가져다 주기도 하셨다. 명절 때 새 옷도 갖춰입지 못한 어려운 처지의 친구들을 위해서도 깊은 온정을 베푸셨다.

15 여섯 살을 지나 일곱 살이 되면 철이 들 때입니다. 학교에 다닐 나이 때에는 동네 아주머니의 배가 얼마만큼 부르면 언제쯤 아기를 낳을 것인지를 알았습니다. 나는 그 아주머니에 대해 조사해서 쌀이 없으면 한 달 전부터 쌀을 갖다 주었습니다. 임신한 아주머니 댁에 미역이 없으면 미역을 사다 주곤 했습니다. 그래서 못사는 사람들이 모든 비밀을 나한테 다 보고했습니다. 그렇게 되니까 어떻게 하든지 간에 가을이 되면 밤이라도 따서 나눠 줘야 되고, 옥수수라도 따다가 그 집에 갖다 줘야 마음이 편안했습니다. 그러한 훈련을 했기 때문에 세계 사람을 다 먹여 살리려는 생각까지 했다는 것입니다.

16 옛날에 동네에서 우리 집이 잘살았습니다. 동네에 못 먹고 못사는 친구들이 도시락으로 조밥이나 보리밥을 싸 와서 먹으면 바꿔 가지고 먹으면 먹었지 그것을 보고 내 밥을 그냥 못 먹었습니다. 또 친구들의 어머니 아버지가 아파서 병원에 갈 돈이 없을 때에는 어머니 아버지한테 가서 눈물을 흘리면서 아무개 집 우리 동무 어머니 아버지가 병원에 가게 돈을 달라고 했습니다. 나이 열한 살쯤 됐을 때 쌀 대두 한 말을 팔아서 누구를 도와주겠다고 아버지한테 선포를 했습니다. 그래 놓고 아버지 몰래 쌀을 한 말을 짊어지고 20리 길을 걸어갔던 생각이 지금도 납니다. 그것을 새끼줄이나 무슨 줄로 묶어서 메고 가야 할 텐데 그냥 메고 가니까 가슴이 얼마나 뛰는지 수없이 헉헉거렸습니다. 그것이 지금도 잊히지 않습니다. 일생 동안 잊히지 않을 것입니다. 그 모든 것들이 뜻을 위해서 갈 수 있는 입장에 서게 한 것입니다.

17 나는 겨울에 떨면서 지나가는 거지를 보게 되면 밥을 못 먹고 잠을 못잤습니다. 그런 성격이었습니다. 그래서 어머니 아버지한테 그 거지를 안방에 데려다가 잘 먹여 보내자고 했습니다. 그것이 하늘이 사랑할 수 있는 바탕이 될 수 있는 것이 아니겠습니까? 동네에서 밥을 굶는 사람이 있다는 소문만 들리면 어떻게 도와줄까 하고 밤잠을 못 잤습니다. 그래서 내가 어머니 아버지 몰래 쌀독에서 쌀을 퍼내어 주기도 했습니다.

18 나는 떡을 좋아했습니다. 내가 어머니에게 떡을 해 달라고 하면 농사도 지어야 되고 아들딸 시집 장가도 보내려면 옷감도 만들어야 되고 하니 바쁘다며 안 해줍니다. 쉴 새 없이 바쁜 어머니였습니다. 그런데 자꾸 먹을 것을 해 달라고 하니까 쉬운 것, 팥범벅떡이나 시루떡 같은 것을 합니다. 큰 시루에다 떡을 해놓게 되면 그것이 사흘도 못 갑니다. 전부 나누어 주는 것입니다. 동네에 대한 걱정이 있으면 잠을 못 잡니다. 그것을 가만히 생각해 보면 하늘이 그러한 심정을 지도하지 않았나 하는 것을 느끼게 됩니다. 동네에 못사는 사람이 있으면 어떻게든지 잘살게 만들어 주고 싶습니다. 동네에 무슨 일이 있으면 그것을 남의 일이 아니라 자기 일같이 알고 한다는 것입니다. 이런 마음바탕이 되어 있지 않으면 안 된다는 것입니다. 천성이 그래야 됩니다. 윗물이 맑아야 아랫물이 맑은 것입니다. 사람은 영물이므로 그래야 다른 사람들이 그 울타리에 기대어 살고 싶어하는 것입니다.

19 내가 어렸을 때 우리 집에서 수백 통의 양봉을 했습니다. 양봉을 하게 되면 원판대기를 딱 붙여 놓는데, 그렇게 해놓으면 거기에 벌들이 둥지를 틀어서 꿀을 저장할 곳을 만듭니다. 집은 스스로 만듭니다. 그 원판이 비쌉니다. 그것을 캐비닛 같은 데에 쌓아 놓는데 그것을 찾아서 전부 짓이깁니다. 시골에 가게 되면 기름이 없어서 불을 못 켜는 집이 있습니다. 그런 집에 석유는 못 주더라도 촛불이라도 켜라고 하며 그것을 주었습니다. 그렇게 하지 않고는 마음이 편하지 않으니 견딜 수 없습니다. 그래서 전부 짓이겨서 일일이 배급을 주었습니다. 그때 당시에 돈으로 얼마 하는지 내가 철부지였으니까 몰랐습니다. 그래서 아버지한테 혼쭐이 났습니다. 혼쭐이 났지만 절대 잘못했다는 이야기는 안 합니다. 아버지가 중간쯤 가다가 끝내더라는 것입니다.

20 한 장애인 부부가 있었습니다. 남자는 눈이 안 보이고 부인은 신체에 장애가 있었습니다. 이 부부가 동네에서 모범적인 부부였습니다. 언제나 부인이 절뚝거리면서도 지팡이를 짚고 남편을 안내해 주는 것입니다. 입도 틀어졌고 오만 가지 장애를 가지고 있는데, 그 부인을 남편이 미인 이상으로 사랑한 것입니다. 겨울이 되면 어디 가서 살 데가 없으니까 반드시 우리 방앗간을 찾아 들어오는 것입니다. 그러면 거적만 있기 때문에 내가 이불도 갖다 주고 담요도 갖다 주곤 했습니다. 그렇기 때문에 나를 상당히 좋아했습니다. 그러다가 그들이 죽었다는 말을 듣고는 슬퍼서 울었던 생각이 납니다.

21 나도 여러분같이 발랄하고 희망에 벅찬 청춘시대가 있었습니다. 내가 이 뜻을 알기 전부터 불쌍한 사람의 친구가 되겠다는 생각을 했습니다. 못사는 사람한테 관심을 가졌습니다. 아이들이 있더라도 잘살고 드센 집 아이들과는 친하려고 하지 않았습니다. 반대의 생활을 했다는 것입니다. 동네에서 밥을 못 먹는 어려운 사람이 있으면 내가 잠을 안 자고라고 그것을 해결해 주려고 했습니다. 이렇게 모든 사람의 친구가 되고 모든 사람의 친구 이상의 길을 가야 되겠다고 생각했습니다.

涙が多く情にあふれた少年

真のお父様は、幼い頃から涙の多い方だった。この上なく情が深く、同情心の厚い少年だった。鳥や魚を捕まえ、家で育てているうちに死んでしまうと、親の立場を考えながら涙を流す、切なほ心の情を表された。弱い友達をいじめる人に立ち向かっていったこともあった。御飯を食べられない人がいるといううわさが耳に入れば、両親に隠れて、米の入った甕（かめ）から米を運んであげ、子供が生まれたのに食べる物がない家には、わかめと米を持っていってあげたこともあった。お祝いの日に新しい服も着ることができない貧しい立場にいる友達のために、深い温情を施された。
 
 15 六歳を過ぎて七歳になれば、物心がつく頃です。学校に通う年の頃には、村にいる身重の女性たちのおなかがどれくらい膨れたら、いつ頃赤ん坊が生まれるか分かりました。私は、そのような女性たちについて調べ、米がなければ、一カ月前から米を持っていってあげました。妊娠した女性の家にわかめがなければ、わかめを買ってあげたりしました。
 
ですから、貧しく暮らす人たちは、すべての秘密を私に報告しました。そうなると、秋になれば、とにかく栗でも取って分けてあげたくなり、とうもろこしでも取ってその家に持っていってあげなければ、心が安まりません。そのような訓練をしたので、世界の人たちをみな、食べさせて生かそうとまで考えたというのです。
 
 16 昔、村の中で、私の家は暮らし向きが良かったのです。満足に食べられず、貧しく暮らす村の友人が、弁当に粟飯や麦飯を入れてきて食べるのを見ると、取り替えて食べることはあっても、それを見て、何もせずに自分の御飯を食べることはできませんでした。
 
また、友人の両親が病気なのに、病院に行くお金がない時には、父や母のところに行って涙を流しながら、「私の友人の誰々の両親が病院に行けるよう、お金を下さい」と言いました。
 
年が十一歳くらいになった時、「米、大豆一斗（約十八キロ）を売って誰々を助けてあげるのだ」と父に宣布しました。そうして、父に内緒で一斗の米を担いで二里の道を歩いていったことが、今も思い出されます。縄や何かのひもでそれを結んで担いでいかなければならないのですが、そのまま担いでいくので、どれほど息がはずんだか、何度もハアハアと息が切れました。それが今も忘れられません。一生の間忘れられないでしょう。そのすべてが、み旨のために歩むことができる立場に立たせたのです。
 
 17 私は、冬に震えて通り過ぎる乞食を見れば、御飯も食べられず、眠ることもできませんでした。そのような性格でした。それで、父と母に、「部屋に入れて御飯を食べさせてから送り出してあげよう」と言いました。それが、天の愛する根本になり得るものではないでしょうか。
 
村で御飯を食べられない人がいるといううわさを聞いたならば、どうやって助けてあげようかと考えて、夜眠ることができませんでした。それで、私は両親に内緒で、米櫃から米を取り出して分けてあげたりもしました。
 
 18 私は餅が好きでした。私が母に「餅を作ってほしい」と言うと、母は「畑仕事もしなければいけないし、息子や娘を結婚させようと思えば、反物も織らないといけない。だから忙しい」と言って、作ってくれません。休む間もない忙しい母でした。それなのに、しきりに「食べ物を作ってほしい」と言うので、簡単な小豆餅や蒸し餅のようなものを作ってくれるのですが、大きな蒸し器に餅を作っておくと、それが三日ももちません。すべて分けてあげるのです。
 
村で心配なことがあれば眠れません。それをよく考えてみると、天がそのような心情を指導したのではないかと感じるのです。村に貧しく暮らす人がいたりすると、どうにかして良い暮らしができるようにしてあげたいと思うのです。村で何か起きれば、それを人ごとではなく、自分のことのように思ってするのです。心根がこのようになっていなければなりません。天性がそうでなければなりません。川上の水が澄んでいてこそ、川下も澄んだ水になるのです。人は霊的な存在なので、そのように生きてこそ、他の人たちがその人を頼りにして暮らしたいと思うのです。
 
 19 私が幼い頃、我が家では数百箱規模の養蜂をしていました。養蜂をするときには、巣板をぴったり付けておくと、そこに蜂が巣を作って蜜の貯蔵所を作ります。巣は自分で作るというのです。その巣板は高価なものです。それをキャビネットのような所に積んでおくのですが、それを見つけて、（蜜蝋を）すべてこねるのです。
 
田舎に行くと、油がなくて明かりをともせない家があります。そのような家には、石油はあげられなくても、ろうそくの火だけでもつけられるように、それをあげました。そうしないと心が落ち着かず、我慢できないのです。ですから、（蜜蝋を）すべてこねて、一つ一つ配給してあげました。
 
私は世間知らずだったので、その当時のお金にするといくらになるか分かりませんでした。それで結局、父にひどく叱られました。ひどく叱られましたが、絶対に「間違っていた」という言葉は口にしません。父も、結局は途中で諦めて叱るのをやめてしまうのです。
 
 20 ある障害者の夫婦がいました。男性は目が見えず、夫人は体に障害がありました。この夫婦は、村中で模範的な夫婦でした。夫人がいつも足を引きながら杖をついて夫を案内してあげるのです。口も曲がり、様々な障害をもっているのですが、夫はこの上なくその夫人を愛していました。冬になると、どこにも住む所がないので、必ずうちの精米所を訪ねてくるのです。
 
すると、むしろしかないので、私が布団を持っていってあげ、毛布も持っていってあげたりしました。それで、私のことを随分と気に入ってくれていました。そうこうするうちに、彼らが死んだという話を聞き、悲しくて泣いたことが思い出されます。
 
21 私も皆さんのように、はつらつとして希望にあふれた青春時代がありました。私は、このみ旨を知る前からかわいそうな人の友達になろうと考えていました。貧しく暮らす人に関心をもちました。子供たちがいても、裕福で力のある家の子供たちとは親しくしようとしませんでした。反対の生活をしたのです。村に御飯を食べられない貧しい人がいれば、私は寝るのも忘れてそれを解決してあげようとしました。こうしてすべての人と友達になって、すべての人の友達以上の道を行かなくてはならないと考えたのです。

Training of heart

In his childhood, True Father shed many tears. He was an extremely deep-hearted and compassionate boy. When he was raising birds or fish at home, if one of them died he was drawn by compassion to shed tears for it, thinking of its mother who would grieve for her young. He defended his friends when they were bullied by stronger boys. Whenever he heard that someone was going hungry or starving, he would take rice from the rice jar at home and bring it to him or her, without letting his parents know. When he happened upon a mother who had just given birth but had no food to eat, he brought her rice and the seaweed to make the soup that Korean women eat after having a baby. When his friends' parents could not afford to buy them the new clothes that were customarily prepared for children on traditional holidays, he gave them his own new clothes. These are some of the ways he expressed his deep heart for whoever was suffering hardship.
 
15 I became mature enough to feel compassion for others shortly after I turned seven, the age when I started going to the village school. I used to figure out when the pregnant women in the village were about to give birth by looking at the size of their bellies. One day I found out that one of the women who was pregnant had no rice at home. So, one month before she had the baby I gave her rice and seaweed for the seaweed soup all mothers have after delivery. This is why the poor people of my village confided in me all of their secrets.

I felt responsible to care for people who were having difficulties, whatever their situation. Every year in the autumn I would pick chestnuts for them. I would save some of the stock of corn at my house and bring it to their homes. It is the only way I could feel at peace. It is from this kind of background that I have a foundation even to think of feeding all the people of the world. (431-107, 2004/01/12)
 
16 When I was young, my family was quite well off. When my friends who were poor came to school with cooked millet or barley in their lunch boxes, I traded my lunch box with them. I could not just eat my own well-prepared food with rice while watching them eat such meager food. If my friends mother or father was sick but had no money to see a doctor, I would go to my mother and father and tearfully ask them for money, explaining my friend's situation. When I was about 11 years old, I told my father that I was going to sell rice to help someone out. But even before he approved, I helped myself to as much rice as I could and scooped it into a bag. I was in such a hurry that I did not even tie the mouth of the bag. Then 1 carried it over my shoulder and walked some eight kilometers to the market to sell it. I should have tied up the bag with a string. But since I did not, I had to hold on tight to keep the rice from spilling. I walked as fast as I could, fearing that my father would come after me. You have no idea how much my heart pounded and how hard I gasped for air. I cannot forget it to this day; I do not think I will forget it for the rest of my life. All those experiences enabled me to stand in the position to take the path for the Will. (058-082, 1972/06/06)
 
17 My nature is such that whenever I saw a shivering beggar passing by my house during the winter, I could not eat or sleep. So I would ask my mother and father to bring the beggar in to our main room and feed him well before sending him off. Don't you think that this is a basis to be loved by heaven? Whenever I heard through the grapevine that someone in my neighborhood was starving, I could not fall asleep at night wondering how I could help him. I would scoop rice out of my family's rice jar and give it to the hungry person without letting my parents know. (056-035, 1972/05/10)
 
18 I like rice cakes; so I used to ask my mother, "Please make some rice cakes." But she was always too busy farming, weaving or making clothes in preparation for the marriage of her children. My mother indeed had no time to rest. But I kept asking her to make me rice cakes, and finally she would make some simple ones, such as red bean rice cakes or steamed rice cakes. She made them in a large earthenware steamer. But they would not last even three days because I would share them. That is how I was. Whenever 1 had some concern for my village, I could not fall asleep. I realize that heaven has been guiding me since childhood to have such a caring heart. That is why whenever I saw someone in my village who was poor, I wanted to help that person in any way I could. When there was a problem in the village, I did everything possible to resolve it. I believed that this was my job, not someone else's.

Without having this core nature within me, I could not be who I am today. It had to be my inborn nature. There is a Korean maxim, "The water at the surface must be clear for the water at the bottom to be clear." The "top water" is the leader who sets the example. Human beings are spiritual. So, when we have the quality of pure water, others will want to come and live together with us. They will lean on us for support. (056-035, 1972/05/10)
 
19 When I was young we had a bee farm with hundreds of hives full of bees. When you do bee farming, you have to set up honeycomb frames; then the bees make their homes there and when they make their honey they save it there. Honeycomb frames were expensive. Normally the frames with their empty honeycombs were stacked and stored on a cabinet, but I found them and mashed the waxen honeycombs together to make candles. Many people in the country had no light at night because they could not afford to buy kerosene. So I gave them the candles that I made, thinking that since I could not give them kerosene, at least I should give them candles. I had to do it because otherwise I felt so uneasy; I could not bear doing nothing for them. That is why I mashed all the honeycombs together to make candles and distributed them to each house. At that time I was just a child, so I had no idea how expensive they were! After finding out what I did, my father scolded me severely. Yet I never admitted that I had done anything wrong; how can it be wrong to help those in need? So after scolding me for some time, my father just gave up and stopped. (163-159, 1987/05/01)
 
20 A disabled couple lived in my village. The husband was blind, and his wife was crippled. Even so, this couple was regarded in the village as an exemplary couple. Though the wife limped while leaning on her cane, she always guided her husband everywhere he needed to go. Her mouth was crooked and she had all sorts of physical problems, but her husband loved her very much, more than he would love a beauty queen. They had no place to live, so when the winter came they would stay in my family's mill. They had only a straw mat, so I would bring them my pad and my quilt. For that reason, they liked me very much. One day I heard they had passed away. I was so sad; I remember crying over their deaths. (420-211, 2003/10/11)
 
21 Like you, I too had a lively youth overflowing with hope. But even before I knew the Will, I wanted to become a friend to those in pain and suffering. I was greatly interested in people who were not doing well. I did not try to become close to the children of well-to-do and influential families. Most people did that, but I did the opposite. If I knew there was a poor person in the village who had nothing to eat, I could not sleep. I had to do everything I could to solve the situation. In this way, I wanted to follow a path to become friends, even close friends, with everyone. (117-018, 1982/01/30)