참父母經 / Chambumo Gyeong - 138 - 글방과 초등학교 시절 / 小学校時代 / Primary schools

[대태양/김현수]

글방과 초등학교 시절

참아버님께서는 7세부터 13세까지 서당에서 한문 공부를 하셨다. 특히 암기력이 뛰어나셨고, 붓글씨의 경우 훈장 대신 체(體) 글을 써 주실 정도로 발군의 재질을 나타내셨다. 그 무렵 장차 3개 이상의 박사학위를 취득하겠다는 꿈을 키우면서 1933년 14세에 원봉학원에 들어가 진학시험 준비를 한 뒤 1934년 오산보통학교 3학년에 편입하셨다. 그리고 1935년 4월 일본어 공부를 위해 정주공립보통학교 4학년에 진학하셨으며, 1938년 3월 25일 제29회 졸업식에서 모든 식순이 끝날 무렵 자진해서 단상에 나가 장시간 특별소견을 발표하셨다. 일본의 식민지 교육정책의 허구성과 그 위선적 형태를 낱낱이 꼬집고, 교사들 개개인에 대한 문제점도 일일이 지적하셨다. 이를 계기로 참아버님께서는 일본경찰로부터 요시찰인으로 지목되기에 이르렀다.

1 나는 그림을 그리는 소질도 있습니다. 그런 면에 소질이 많습니다. 글방에 가면 여덟 살부터 아홉 살, 열 살, 스무 살, 서른 살짜리 형 되는 사람도 있었습니다. 글을 잘 쓰기 위해서 매일 글을 쓰는 것입니다. 내가 열 두 살 전부터 글씨 쓰는 책에 본글을 써 줬습니다. 그러면 그 글씨본에 수백 번 쓰게 됩니다. 그것이 습관이 되면 벌써 다릅니다. 척 보게 되면 붓이 어디로 가야 되는지, 꼭대기가 어디로 가야 되는지 압니다. 그러니 아무리 긴 것이라도 척척척 써서 맞추는 것입니다. 보통이 아니라는 것입니다. 내가 그렇게 글방에 다니다가 처음으로 학원에 갔습니다. 처음 그림을 그리게 되었는데, 나이 많은 사람들은 화선지라고 하는 그림 그리는 종이에다 바로 그림을 그렸습니다. 나는 화선지를 놓고 그리려고 하는 꽃을 생각하고 구상을 합니다. 화선지가 얼마만큼이니까 거기에 맞게끔 하기 위해서는 어떻게 해야 되겠다고 계산하는 것입니다. 계산해서는 마음으로 줄을 그어서 그것을 따라 그려 나갑니다. 하나 둘 그려 가면 다 들어가게 됩니다. 그렇게 해서 금만 그리면 모양이 나온다는 것입니다. 그다음에는 칠하기에 달려 있습니다. 그래서 내가 처음으로 그린 그림이 학원 벽에 붙었습니다.

2 내가 열 살 때 글방에 다닐 때에는 책을 하루에 한 장만 떼면 되었습니다. 30분 내에 다 떼는 것입니다. 딱 정신을 집중해서 하면 30분에 다 집어 넣을 수 있습니다. 그러고 나서 훈장님 앞에 가서 조잘조잘 외우면 됩니다. 그렇게 다 해놓고는 훈장님이 낮잠을 잘 때 나는 산으로 돌아다니는 것입니다. 훈장님이 힘드니까 낮잠을 자주 잤습니다. 그래서 개구리는 어디에 있고, 새 둥지는 어디에 있고, 승냥이는 어디에 있고, 버섯은 어디에 있는지 다 알아 놓는 것입니다. 그렇게 다녔으니 어머니가 나를 찾으러 다녀도 못 찾는 것입니다.

3 철이 나고 열 살을 넘어서까지 글방에 다녔습니다. 왜냐하면 우리 집안에서 외지에 나가서 공부했던 사람들은 다 객사를 했기 때문입니다. 그리고 섭리적으로나 뜻적으로 볼 때에도 둘째 번으로 태어난 아들은 문제가 생겼습니다. 그래서 문중에서 공부를 시키면 죽는다는 소문이 있기 때문에 학교에는 못 가게 하고 글방에서 공부하게 했습니다. 그런 입장에서 자라던 아버님의 일생은 전부 개척과 개혁이었습니다. 글방에 다니면서 비로소 뜻에 대한 길을 알고 난 후 16세부터 마음을 정해서 내가 가야 할 길을 생각하게 된 것입니다. 이 글방에만 있어서는 안 되겠더라는 것입니다. 비행기가 날고 기차가 달리는 과학문명의 시대가 점점 확장되어서 앞날을 이끌어가게 될 것을 완연히 느끼는 자리에서 ‘이런 글방에만 있어서는 안 되겠다!’라고 생각해서 거기에서부터 혁신이 시작된 것입니다. 그래서 학원에 들어가 공부해서 그때로 말하면 보통학교에 들어간 것입니다. 그때는 오산보통학교였습니다. 편입시험을 쳐서 오산보통학교 3학년으로 들어갔습니다. 거기에서 1년 동안 공부하는데 열심히 안 할 수 없었습니다.

4 오산보통학교에서는 일본말을 못하게 했습니다. 여러분이 알다시피 독립만세운동의 33인 중 한 사람으로서 일본과 원수의 자리에서 투쟁한 대표적인 사람인 이승훈씨가 세운 학교이고, 그런 학교의 전통이 있기 때문에 일본말을 못하게 한 것입니다. 그런데 문제는 우리가 적을 알아야 된다는 것이었습니다. 적에 대해 세밀히 모르고서는 적과 싸우더라도 대비책을 세울 수 없다는 생각이 들었습니다. 그래서 정주보통학교에 편입 시험을 쳐서 4학년으로 들어갔습니다. 거기에 들어가서는 일본말을 유창하게 하게 되어 졸업을 했습니다. 그런 과정을 거치면서 신앙길이라든가 인생의 근본이라든가 어려운 문제에 대해 생각하게 되었습니다.

5 정주보통학교에 편입하여 학교에서 일본말을 배웠습니다. 가타가나 히라가나를 공부하던 것이 엊그제 같습니다. 그것을 하루저녁에 다 외워 버렸습니다. 학교에 가 보니까 3학년 4학년 5학년 아이들이 일본말을 했습니다. 그때 나는 나이가 들어서 학교에 갔기 때문에 키가 컸습니다. 그런데도 일본말을 한마디도 모르니, 남들은 다 춤추고 노는데 그 춤추는 복판에 들어가서 혼자 아무것도 못하고 구경이나 하고 돌아다니면서도 부끄러운 줄 모르는 셈이었습니다. 그때 그 거북했던 것은 느끼지 못한 사람은 모를 것입니다. 그렇기 때문에 벼락같이 1학년 2학년 3학년 4학년의 모든 책을 보름 만에 다 외워 버렸습니다. 그러고 나니까 귀가 트이게 되었습니다.

6 나는 머리가 나쁘지 않아서 무슨 공부를 했어도 세계적인 학자가 됐으리라고 봅니다. 그런 머리를 가졌다고 하여 내가 공부를 해서 세계에 이름난 학자가 되면 무엇을 할 것이냐 하는 문제를 심각하게 생각했습니다. 그런 학자가 되어 봤자 칠판 앞에서 백묵가루를 마시고 일생 동안 허리가 구부러지도록 그저 연구만 하다가 죽는 것입니다. 그렇게 해서 모든 근본문제가 해결되느냐 하면 안 된다는 것입니다. 그러면 인간으로서 가야 할 길 중에서 무슨 길이 제일 어렵고 힘든 길이냐, 가기에 힘들다고 하는 길을 나는 가고 싶었다는 것입니다. 인간으로서 지금까지 역사시대, 과거․현재․미래에 어느 누구도 하지 못했고 하지 못하는 일을 내가 한번 해야 되겠다는 생각을 했습니다.

7 내가 공부할 때에는 벼락같이 했습니다. 몇 년 동안에 하는 것을 순식간에 해치웠습니다. 내 고향은 정주에서 동북 방향으로 한 8킬로미터 거리에 있는 농촌입니다. 호롱불을 켜고 공부하던 것이 엊그제 같습니다. 새벽 2시 3시까지 밤을 새워 공부하면 어머니 아버지는 ‘야! 잠자라. 몸이 너무 약해지면 안 된다.’라고 했습니다. 늘 그랬습니다. 그때 내가 늘 친구로 했던 것이 밤벌레들이었습니다. 여름철에는 밤벌레를 친구로 했습니다. 그렇게 앉아서 새벽 2시 3시까지 공부를 했습니다. 시골 밤은 참 고요합니다. 곤충들이 달밤에 우는 소리는 아주 신비롭습니다.

書堂と小学校時代

真のお父様は、七歳から十三歳まで、書堂で漢文を学ばれた。特に暗記力に優れ、筆字においては、先生の代わりに手本の字を書くほど、抜群の才能を発揮された。その頃は、将来、博士学位を三つ以上取得することを夢見ながら、一九三三年に十四歳で圓峰（ウォンボン）学院に入り、進学試験の準備をしたのち、一九三四年、五山普通学校の三年に編入された。そして、一九三五年四月、日本語の勉強のために定州公立普通学校の四年に転校され、一九三八年三月二十五日、第二十九回卒業式において、すべての式次第が終わる頃、自ら進んで壇上に立ち、長時間、特別所見を発表された。日本の植民地教育政策の虚構性とその偽善的形態、個々人の教師に対する問題点を一つ一つ指摘された。これをきっかけに、真のお父様は、日本の警察から要注意人物として目をつけられることになる。
 
１ 私には、絵を描く素質もあります。そのような方面に素質があるのです。書堂に行くと、既に八歳（数え）から九歳、十歳、二十歳、三十歳まで、年上の人もいました。字を上手に書けるようになるため、毎日字を書くのです。私は、十二歳になる前から、字を書く帳面に手本の字を書いてあげました。そうすると、その帳面に数百回書くことになります。それが習慣になると、もう違うのです。さっと見て、筆がどこに向かえばよいのか、一番上がどこに向かえばよいのかが分かります。ですから、どれほど長いものでも、さっさっさっと書いて合わせるのです。普通ではありません。
 
私は、そのように書堂に通いながら初めて塾に行きました。そこで初めて絵を描いたのです。年上の人たちは、画仙紙という絵描き用の紙にすぐに絵を描きました。私は、画仙紙を前にして、描こうとする花を考えて構想を練るのです。画仙紙がこれぐらいだから、そこに合うようにするためにはどうすべきか、計算するのです。計算して、心で線を引き、それに沿って描いていくのです。一つ、二つと描いていくと、すべて入ります。そのようにして線さえ描けば、形が現れてくるのです。その次は、色塗りにかかっています。そうして、私が初めて描いた絵が塾の壁に貼られました。
 
２ 私は十歳（数え）の時、害堂に通いましたが、その時は本を一日に一ページだけ覚えればよかったのです。三十分以内にすべて覚えるのです。精神を集中してすれば、三十分ですべて記憶することができます。それから書堂の先生のところに行って、すらすら暗唱すればよいのです。
 
そうしてすべて終えたなら、先生が昼寝をしている間、私は山を歩き回るのです。書堂の先生は、疲れるので昼寝をよくしました。ですから、蛙がどこにいて、鳥の巣がどこにあり、山犬がどこにいて、きのこはどこにあるのか、すべて調べておくのです。そのように歩き回ったので、母が私を捜し回っても見つけられなかったのです。
 
３ 物心がついて、十歳（数え）を越えるまで書堂に通いました。なぜなら、私の家門では、外地に出て勉強した人たちはすべて客死したからです。また、摂理的に見ても、み旨から見ても、二番目に生まれた息子には、問題が起こりました。ですから、私の一族では、勉強させれば死ぬといううわさがあり、学校には行かせず、書堂で勉強させたのです。そのような立場で育ったお父様の一生は、すべて開拓と改革でした。
 
書堂に通う中、初めてみ旨の道を知ったのち、十六歳（数え）の時から心を決めて、私の行くべき道を考えるようになり、この書堂にばかりいてはいけないと思ったのです。飛行機が飛び、汽車が走る科学文明の時代がだんだんと拡張され、未来を引っ張っていくようになることをありありと感じる立場で、「このような書堂にばかりいてはいけない！」と思い、そこから革新か始まりました。それで塾に入って勉強し、その当時で言えば、普通学校に入ったのです。
 
その時は五山普通学校でした。その学校の三学年に、編入試験を受けて入りました。そこで一年勉強したのですが、一生懸命しないわけにはいきませんでした。

４ 五山普通学校では、日本語を使ってはいけませんでした。皆さんも知っているように、独立万歳運動の三十三人のうちの一人で、日本と怨讐の立場で闘争した代表的な人物である李昇薫（イスンフン）氏が建てた学校であり、そのような学校の伝統があるので、日本語を使わせなかったのです。
 
ところが問題は、私たちが敵を知らなければいけないということでした。敵について詳しく知らなければ、敵と闘っても対策を立てられないという思いがしました。それで、定州普通学校の四学年に、編入試験を受けて入りました。そこに入ってから、日本語が流暢にできるようになって卒業したのです。そのような過程を経ながら、信仰の道や人生の根本など、難しい問題について考えるようになりました。
 
５ 定州普通学校に編入し、学校で日本語を習いました。片仮名、平仮名を勉強したのが、ついきのうのことのようです。それを一晩ですべて覚えてしまいました。学校に行ってみると、三年生、四年生、五年生の子供たちが日本語で話していました。
 
その当時の私は、年がいってから学校に入ったので、背が高かったのです。それなのに、日本語が一言も分からないのですから、他の人たちが踊っているその真ん中で、何もできずに一人でただ見物ばかりしているのに、恥ずかしいことさえ分かっていないというような状況でした。その時の気まずさは、感じたことのない人には分からないでしょう。ですから、稲妻のように、一年生、二年生、三年生、四年生のすべての本を半月ですべて覚えてしまいました。そうすると、聞き取れるようになったのです。
 
６ 私は、頭が悪くないので、どんな勉強をしても世界的な学者になっただろうと思います。そのような頭をもったからといって、私が勉強して世界に名だたる学者になって何をするのか、そのような問題を深刻に考えました。
 
そのような学者になったところで、黒板の前でチョークの粉を吸い込み、一生の間、腰が曲がるまでひたすら研究ばかりして死ぬのです。そのようにしてすべての根本問題を解決できるのかといえば、それはできないというのです。
 
それならば、人間として行くべき道のうち、どんな道がもっとも困難で大変な道かえお考えました。歩むのが大変といわれる道を私は行きたかったのです。人間として今まで歴史時代において、過去、現在、未来に誰もできなかったこと、できないことを、私が一度しなければならないと考えました。
 
７ 私が勉強する時は、稲妻のように勉強しました。数年かけてすることを、瞬く間にやってのけました。私の故郷は、定州から北東方向に約八キロメートルの距離にある農村です。灯蓋（とうがい＝灯火用の油皿を載せるもの）に明かりをともして勉強したのが、ついきのうのことのようです。
 
午前二時、三時まで夜を明かしながら勉強していると、父や母が、「おい！ もう寝なさい。体をあまり無理させてはいけない」と言いました。いつもそうでした。その時、私が常に友としたのが夜の虫たちでした。夏は夜の虫を友としたのです。そのように座って、午前二時、三時まで勉強しました。田舎の夜は本当に静かです。昆虫たちが月夜に鳴く声は、とても神秘的なのです。

Primary schools

From the age of seven to 13, True Father studied at the village school. There he learned Chinese characters and read the Confucian Classics. His memory was excellent, and his calligraphy was so superb that his teacher used the characters he wrote as models for other students to copy. At that time, his dream was to acquire at least three doctoral degrees, and for this he knew he needed a broader education. So he enrolled at the Won-bong Preparatory School to prepare for the entrance examination for a primary school with a modern curriculum. In 1934 he entered the third grade at Osan Primary School. In April 1935 he transferred to the 4th grade at Jeongju Public Primary School, mainly in order to study Japanese.

On March 25, 1938, at the graduation ceremony for the school's 29th class, he volunteered to speak at the podium. Although the ceremony was nearing its end, he gave a long speech to express his views in front of all the people who were gathered there. One by one he pointed out the wrongs of Japanese colonial educational policy and its hypocrisy. He also pointed out the problems of each individual teacher. Because of this incident, the Japanese police added his name to their list as a person to be watched.
 
1 I am also talented in drawing; I am good at it. In the village school that taught Chinese characters, classics and calligraphy, there were people of many age groups—from nine and ten-year-olds to grown-ups in their twenties and thirties. To improve our skill at writing we practiced writing Chinese characters every day. The teacher used the characters I wrote as models for other students to follow and copy. This was before I was even 12. The other students would practice by copying my characters over and over, hundreds of times.

When they had done it so many times that it became a habit, I could tell that they had reached a new level. I could see by glancing at the character which direction to move my calligraphy brush—where to place the top of the first stroke and where to end the last stroke. It did not matter how lengthy the phrase; I could write it with ease. My skill was at a different level than that of others.

After studying at the village school, I joined a small private school that specialized in teaching art. There for the first time in my life I learned how to draw and paint pictures. The adults drew pictures on a special drawing paper. As I stood in front of that paper, I contemplated what flowers I was going to draw. Looking at the size of the paper, I calculated their sizes and locations in my mind. With this plan in mind I made a rough sketch of the flowers, the images forming from the simple lines I drew. Next I completed the coloring, and there it was, my first picture. They hung that picture on the wall at the school. (349-056, 2001/07/14)
 
2 The village school where I went when I was young required us to finish one page a day from the book that we were studying. But it did not take me even 30 minutes to do it. Once I focused, I memorized its entire content within 30 minutes. Then I would recite it from memory in front of my teacher. So having finished the day's lesson, I would go up to the mountain while the teacher was taking his afternoon nap. Since teaching was so difficult at his age, he often took afternoon naps. On the mountain I would study where the frogs were, where the bird nests were, where the coyotes were, where the mushrooms were growing, and so on. I would explore everywhere. No wonder my mother was never able to find me. (204-249, 1990/07/11)
 
3 After I reached the age of ten, I was sent to a school called a geulbang, meaning "a room for learning Chinese characters," that was in my village. This was because any member of the Moon clan who studied in a distant location ended up dying far from home. Even from a providential perspective we understand that for the sake of God's Will, second sons face great difficulties in their lives. Thus it was that a notion circulated in the Moon clan that any second son who is sent to school away from home will die away from home. That is why I was not allowed to travel and go to a public school but instead had to attend a local village school.

My whole life has been about pioneering and transformation, and this is where it began. While I was attending the village school, God called me and I came to know His Will. As I began to think about the path I was destined to walk, I realized that I should not be cooped up inside a village school. I clearly understood that I was living in an age when a new scientific civilization was expanding. Airplanes were flying in the sky, trains were traveling overland, and I was supposed to prepare myself to lead humanity into a new future. I thought to myself, "I cannot just stay here in a village school." That was the point where a transformation began in my life. So I went to a preparatory school and then entered primary school. Back then, that school was called the Osan Primary School. I took the transfer test and entered the third grade. I studied there for one year. During that time, I concentrated on studying hard. (211-133, 1990/12/30)
 
4 The Osan Primary School did not allow students to speak Japanese. As you may have heard, it was the school founded by Lee Seung-hoon, a prominent figure in Korean society who fought hard against the Japanese and whom they regarded as their enemy. He was also one of the 33 people who led the Mansei Demonstrations for Korean independence. Due to that background, the tradition of the Osan School was that students were not allowed to speak Japanese. However, I believed that we must know our enemies. I thought that we cannot devise a proper strategy to defeat our enemies if we do not know about them in detail. That is why I took another test and transferred to the Jeongju Primary School as a 4th grader. By the time I graduated, I had learned to speak fluent Japanese. All along the way I was deeply contemplating the difficult issues in my life of faith and other fundamental questions about life. (211-133, 1990/12/30)
 
5 After I transferred to the Jeongju Primary School, I learned Japanese. It feels as if it were yesterday that I studied katakana and hiragana, the Japanese syllabaries. I memorized all of them in just one night. I had to, because in that school the 3rd-, 4lh- and 5lh-graders all conversed in Japanese. Even though I was a lot taller than most of the students, having entered the school at an older age, I was unable to speak even a single word of Japanese.

I felt ashamed, as if I were just a spectator in their midst, watching them having fun, dancing and singing, but not knowing what to do to be part of their group. You cannot understand how embarrassed and uncomfortable I was unless you have experienced it yourself. So in 15 days 1 memorized all the books that the students in first, second, third and fourth grades were studying. Then my ears were opened, and I could at least comprehend what they were talking about. (171-258, 1988/01/02)
 
6 I was born with a pretty good brain. I am sure that I could have become a renowned scholar in any field I chose to pursue. But I began to question seriously: What good is it to study hard and become a world-renowned scholar? If 1 become a famous scholar, my life will inevitably take a predictable course: I will study and teach my students in front of a blackboard, breathing in chalk dust and holding a stub of chalk in my hand until my bones creak from old age and I eventually die. Living that sort of life, will I resolve the ultimate problems of the world? Absolutely not. I asked myself, "What is the most difficult path a human being can choose?" I wanted to walk the most difficult path possible, or the one that everyone thinks is the hardest. I thought of accomplishing something that no one in history—past, present or future—has been able to accomplish. (090-044, 1976/12/)
 
7 When I studied, I studied like lightning. In no time I finished materials that would take years for an ordinary person. My hometown is a small farming village located eight kilometers northeast of Jeongju. It seems like just yesterday that I was studying there, at night under a kerosene lamp. When I stayed up at night studying until 2:00 or 3:00 a.m., my mother and father would tell me, "Go to bed, or you will lose your strength!" This happened all the time at home. I made friends with the insects that came out at night. Especially in summer I made many such friends as I sat still and studied until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning. Nighttime in the countryside is very tranquil. The sounds of the insects on such moonlit nights are simply mesmerizing. (100-160, 1978/10/09)