Re: Caillou-Jackson

[Teacher Winget]

Caillou was excited because he was going to go work with his mommy.

"The first thing we hane have to do is go through the revolving door," said Mommy.**

"I can do it! Watch me!" said Caillou.

"All right, go ahead, but don't forget to get out on the other side."

"Mommy! Oh dear!"

"Keep on pushing, Caillou," Mommy encouraged.

"I want to do again do it again!"

Caillou had never seen anything like this before.

There were funny noises around him, and lots of people he had never met before.

Caillou thought that working was writing on paper meant writing on paper.

"I can work with that!"

"I'm finished! Look, Mommy!"

"That's great, Caillou. Just a minute," said Mommy. "You did a really good job."

Caillou was really proud to show his daddy everything he knew about the office.

"Wait! I want to show you something!"

The doors were was very heavy, so Caillou's daddy decided to help.

"You really have to be strong to push these doors!"

"I know!" Caillou said.

Caillou then told his daddy all about his day at work.

Final Score: A-

Tips for Improvement:

1. Grammar & Sentence Flow:

   • "Caillou thought that working was writing on paper" → "Caillou thought that working meant writing on paper."
   • "Mommy oh dear keep on pushing Caillou, I want to do again" → "Mommy! Oh dear! Keep on pushing, Caillou," Mommy encouraged. "I want to do it again!"

2. Verb Corrections:

   • "Caillou was excited he was going to go to work" → "Caillou was excited because he was going to work." (No need for "go to go")
   • "The doors were very heavy" → "The door was very heavy" ("door" is singular unless you mean multiple doors)

3. Punctuation & Formatting:

   • Added quotation marks to dialogue for clarity.
   • Fixed run-on sentences by adding commas and periods.