참父母經 / Chambumo Gyeong - 067 - 부산에 이르는 노정과 피란생활

[대태양/김현수]

참父母經 - 067. 부산에 이르는 노정과 피란생활

참아버님께서는 서울 흑석동에 도착하신 뒤 명수대 새예수교회 시절 가까웠던 신앙동지 곽노필씨 집을 찾았으나 이미 부산으로 피란 가고 없었다. 그 집에 짐을 푼 뒤 며칠간 머무르셨다. 1950년 12월 30일에는 옛 하숙집 이기봉씨 가족을 수소문 끝에 찾아 밤늦도록 정담을 나누셨다. 31일 곽씨 집으로 돌아오셨는데, 갑자기 들이닥친 경관의 불심검문으로 흑석동 파출소로 연행되셨다. 그리고 참아버님께서는 김원필씨와 마찬가지로 방위군 징집 명목으로 창경궁에서 신체검사를 받으셨다. 짧은 머리인 데다 이북에서 내려오는 길이라는 말에 검사원은 도망병이나 간첩일지 모른다는 우려 때문에 병종(면제) 판정을 내렸다. 이렇게 해서 불합격증을 받고 김씨와 함께 흑석동 곽씨 집으로 다시 돌아와 1951년 새해 첫날을 맞이하셨다. 이틀 후 신검 불합격증을 가지고 파출소로 가서 피란민증을 발급받고, 1․4후퇴로 인해 1월 3일 서울 전역에 피란 퇴거령이 내려지면서 참아버님 일행도 부산을 목적지로 다시 피란길에 오르셨다.

1 내가 이북에서 이남을 올 때 머리가 깎인 채 나왔습니다. 옛날에는 군대에 가면 머리를 깎았습니다. 나도 이남에 왔고 젊은 사람이니까 군대를 가야 했습니다. 창경궁에 신체 검사를 하는 젊은 군인들이 있었습니다. 나는 감옥에서 갓 나왔지만 몸집이 말라깽이가 아니었습니다. 그래서 병역조사를 하는데, 나에게 어디서 왔느냐고 물었습니다. 그때는 간첩과 군인이 막 섞여 다녀 분간이 어려울 때였습니다. 머리를 깎았으니 간첩이 아니냐고 생각한 것입니다. 만일 간첩을 군대에 집어넣으면 자기 목이 달아나겠으니까 조사하고서는 ‘병종’이라고 낙제 도장을 찍어 줬습니다. 그래서 그것을 가지고 다녔는데 어디를 가든지 만사형통이었습니다. 증명서는 그것밖에 없었습니다.

2 여러분은 아버님이 고생했다는 것을 알지만, 그 고생을 그냥 한 것이 아닙니다. 인민군이 소리를 지르고 뒤따라오는 가운데 피란의 땅 부산에 도착했습니다. 피란민 가운데 우리가 제일 늦게 도착했을 것입니다. 낙동강 전선의 전투가 끝난 후에 부산에 도착한 것입니다. 피란 나오는 가운데 소련군의 위험, 중공군의 위험, 북한군의 위험을 거쳐 왔습니다. 그래서 톡톡히 피란살이을 한 것입니다. 그중에 잊을 수 없는 사연들이 얼마나 많은지 모릅니다. 그것은 아버님 일생에 지나가는 역사의 하나의 발걸음이 아니고 역사시대의 탕감이라는 한의 구덩이를 메우기 위한 걸음걸이였습니다. 내가 뒤를 바라보면서 갈 길을 편안히 갈 수 없다는 결정을 하고 가는 사람이라는 것을 잊어서는 안 됩니다. 피란살이를 하면서 집이 없어서 잔디 위에서 자고 모래판에서 하늘을 이불로 삼고 별을 바라보며 한의 눈물을 이 삼천리반도에 많이 흘렸던 것입니다.

3 평양에서 걸어서 부산까지 나오는 데에 55일이 걸렸습니다. 밥도 얻어 먹고 그러면서 다니는데, 재미있는 것이 하늘은 참 잘 알더라는 것입니다. 배가 고프고 지치게 되면 안다는 것입니다. 내일 모레쯤 닭이 생길 것이라고 생각하면 그렇게 됩니다. 어느 아주머니가 와서 ‘오셨습니까?’라고 인사합니다. ‘누구세요? 난 모르는데요.’라고 하면 ‘간밤에 우리 몇 대조 할아버지가 나타나셔서 오늘 귀한 손님이 오신다고 닭도 잡고 떡도 해놓으라고 해서 그렇게 해놓았습니다.’라고 합니다. ‘그분이 어떻게 생겼는지 아십니까?’라고 물으니 ‘보기에 초라한 행인으로 온다고 했는데 보니까 선생님 얼굴과 흡사합니다.’라고 하는 것입니다. 여러분은 그런 일을 믿을 수 있습니까? 그렇게 떡도 얻어먹고 닭고기도 얻어먹고 했는데, 그런 일이 많았습니다.

4 북한에서 나를 따르던 식구들은 적극적인 사람들이었습니다. 밤이나 낮이나 내가 어디 가서 누구를 만나든 따라다니며 그렇게 소란을 피우던 사람들이 감옥에 갔다가 나와 보니까 다 없어졌습니다. 내가 잊을 수 없는 식구들까지도 전부 없어졌습니다. 간곡한 편지를 써서 사람을 통해 전달한 사람도 있었는데, 그에게 가보니 그 사람도 이미 변해 있었습니다. ‘선생님이 하나님의 아들 같으면 왜 감옥에 갔겠는가? 선생님의 가르침은 전부 삿된 것이다.’라고 해서 편지고 뭣이고 받아 보지도 않고는 ‘이단 사람이 나왔구먼, 또 이단 일을 하려고 찾아왔소?’라고 얘기하더라는 것입니다. 그래서 그 편지를 가지고 피란길을 나왔습니다. 경상북도 영천의 철길 옆으로 난 도로에 다리가 있습니다. 그때 부산으로 내려가기 위해서 영천의 그 다리를 지나가고 있었는데, 그 편지를 가지고 내려가다가 다시 한 번 읽어 보고는 찢어서 날려 버렸습니다. 그때가 1951년 1월 18일입니다. 그런 잊을 수 없는 사연들이 많습니다. 그렇게 열성분자였던 사람도 믿을 수 없는 배신자로 떠나간다는 것을 나는 이미 알았습니다. 감옥에 있을 때 그 사람의 영이 와서 인사를 하더니 울면서 ‘저는 떠나가게 되었습니다.’라고 자기 사연을 말해서 내가 ‘그럴 수 있나?’라고 한 적이 있는데 아니나 다를까 그때 떠났더라는 것입니다.

真の父母経 - 067. 釜山に至る路程と避難生活
 
真のお父様は、ソウルの黒石洞に到着されたあと、明水台の新イエス教会時代に親しかった信仰の同志、郭魯弼（クァクノビル）の家を訪ねたが、既に釜山に避難していた。その家に荷物を置き、数日間、滞在された。一九五〇年十二月三十日には、昔の下宿先である李奇鳳（イギボン）の家族を、人づてに聞いて探し求めた末に見つけ出し、夜遅くまで語り合った。三十一日、郭魯弼の家に帰ってきたところを、突然押しかけた警官の職務質問に遭い、黒石洞の派出所に連行された。そして、真のお父様は、金元弼と同じく、防術軍の徴集という名目で、昌慶宮（チャンギョングン）で身体検査を受けられた。短く切った髪と、「北朝鮮から下ってきた」という言葉に、検査員は、逃亡兵かスパイかもしれないとの心配から、丙種（免除）判定を下した。このようにして不合格証を受け、金元弼と共に黒石洞の郭魯弼の家に再び戻って、一九五一年、新年の初日を迎えられた。二日後、身体検査の不合格証を持って派出所に行き、避難民証の発給を受け、一・四後退（中共軍参戦による、韓国軍の後退）により一月三日、ソウル全域に避難退去令が下りると、真のお父様一行も、釜山を目的地として再び避難していかれた。
 
１ 私が以北から以南に来る時、丸刈りの頭のままで来ました。昔は軍隊に行くと、頭を刈りました。私も以南に来て、若者なので軍隊に行かなければなりませんでした。昌慶宮で若い軍人たちの身体検査をしていたのです。
 
私は監獄から出てきたばかりでしたが、体つきはやせていませんでした。それで、兵役調査をしたのですが、私に対して、「どこから来たのか」と聞くのです。当時はスパイと軍人が入り混じって歩いており、見分けるのが難しい時でした。髪の毛を刈っていたのでスパイではないかと思ったのです。もしスパイを軍隊に送ったら、自分の首が飛ぶので、調査後に免除の「丙種」という落第のはんこを押してくれました。それで、それを持ち歩いたのですが、どこに行っても万事に通じました。証明書はそれしかなかったのです。
 
２ 皆さんは、お父様が苦労したことを知っていますが、その苦労をただしたのではありません。人民軍が叫びながら追いかけてくる中、避難地の釜山に到着しました。避難民の中では、私たちが一番遅く到着したはずです。洛東江（ナクトンガン）戦線の戦闘が終わったあと、釜山に到着したのです。
 
避難してくる中で、ソ連軍が迫ってくる危険、中共軍が迫ってくる危険、北朝鮮軍が追ってくる危険を経てきました。ですから、避難生活をたっぷりと味わったのです。その中で忘れることのできない出来事がどれほど多いか分かりません。それは、お父様の一生において通り過ぎる歴史の一つの歩みではなく、歴史時代の蕩減という恨の穴を埋めるための歩みでした。私が、後ろを眺めながら、「これから行くべき道は楽に行くことはできない」と、決意して行く人であることを忘れてはいけません。避難生活のとき、家がないので芝生の上や砂場で、空を布団と思って眠り、星を見つめながら、三千里半島に恨の涙をたくさん流したのです。
 
３ 平壌から歩いて釜山まで来るのに、五十五日かかりました。御飯ももらって食べたりしながら来たのですが、おもしろいことに、天は本当によく御存じだというのです。おなかがすいて疲れて、「あさってぐらいに鶏が手に入るだろう」と考えると、そのようになります。それが分かるというのです。
 
あるおばさんが現れて、「いらっしゃいましたか」と挨拶するのです。それで「どなたですか。私は知りませんが」と言うと、「昨夜、私の何代前のおじいさんが現れて、きょう貴いお客様が来られるから、鶏も料理し、餅も作っておくようにと言うので、準備しておきました」と言います。「その方がどのような顔立ちなのか御存じなのですか」と尋ねると、「見かけはみすぼらしい行人（こうじん）として来るとのことでしたが、見るとあなたの顔とそっくりです」と言うのです。
 
皆さんは、そのようなことを信じられますか。そのようにして、餅も鶏肉も御馳走になったのですが、そのようなことが多くありました。
 
４ 北朝鮮で私に従っていた食口は、積極的な人たちでした。夜も昼も、私がどこに行って誰に会おうと、付いて回りながら大騒ぎした人たちだったのです。しかし、監獄に入って出てくると、みないなくなってしまいました。私が忘れることのできない食口たちまでも、みないなくなりました。私が懇切な手紙を書いて、人を遣わして伝達した人がいたのですが、その人のところに行ってみると、その人も既に変わっていました。「先生が神様の息子なら、どうして監獄に行くようなことがあるのか。先生の教えは、すべてよこしまなものだ」と言って、手紙も何も受け取りもせずに、「異端の人物が現れたな。また異端の行いをしようと訪ねてきたのか」と言ったというのです。それで、その手紙を持って、避難してきました。慶尚北道（キョンサンプクト）の永川（ヨンチョン）に行くと線路があり、その横にできた道路に橋があります。その時、釜山に下るために、永川のその橋を通ったのですが、持ってきたその手紙を、もう一度読んでから、破って投げ捨ててしまいました。その時が一九五一年一月十八日です。
  そのような忘れられない事情がたくさんあります。あれほど熱心な信仰をもっていた人も、信じられない背信者となって離れていくことを、私は既に知っていました。監獄にいた時、その人の霊が来て挨拶をすると、泣きながら「私は離れることになりました」と、自分の事情を話すので、「そんなことがあるのか」と思っていたのですが、案の定、その時に離れていったのです。

Chambumo Gyeong - 067. The route to Busan and the Refugee life

Upon arriving at Heukseok-dong, Seoul, True Father found his way to the home of Kwak No-pil, a fellow believer with whom he had been close when they both attended the New Jesus Church in Myeongsudae. Mr. Kwak, however, had already left for Busan. True Father unpacked his things and stayed there for a few days.

On December 30,1950, after searching far and wide, he found the residence of his former landlord Mrs. Lee Gi-bong and her family and met with them. They talked long into the night. After he returned to Mr. Kwak’s house early on the morning of December 31, the police came and took him to the Heukseok-dong police substation for questioning. Earlier Kim Won-pil had been called to the military recruiting station to possibly be drafted into the defense corps; now True Father likewise had to go in for processing. He was given a physical checkup at the military field base set up in the Changgyeong Palace.

However, seeing True Father’s short hair and hearing his explanation that he had come from North Korea, the examiner gave him a class C exemption, because he was worried that if Father were a spy or a deserter from the North Korean army, it might cost him his job. The result was that True Father was exempt from military service. Kim Won-pil was also given the same exemption. Both then returned to Mr. Kwak’s house in Heukseok-dong, where they welcomed the New Year. Two days later, with his exemption papers, True Father went to the police substation and was . issued a refugee ID.

On January 3 the entire population of Seoul was ordered to evacuate the city because the South Korean army would be starting its retreat the following day. True Father and his companions joined the refugee trail once again and headed for Busan.
 
1 When I traveled to South Korea from North Korea, I had a shaved head. In those days, when you joined the army they shaved your head. As I was young, when I came to South Korea I was supposed to enroll in the army. New recruits would undergo their physical examinations at the Changgyeong Palace. I had been released from prison not so long before then, but still I wasn't too skinny. As they were taking my medical history, one of the officers asked me, "Where are you from?" In those days, people could not tell who was a soldier and who was a spy. Because of my short hair, he thought I might be a spy. He knew that if he sent a spy to the army, he could lose his job. So, after talking to me, he stamped my paper "third class," which meant I was exempt from military service. I carried this paper with me, and it was accepted everywhere. That was the only identification I had. (187-218, 1989/02/11)
 
2 I underwent hardships, but they were not just ordinary ones. As we fled south, the North Korean army was so close behind us that we could hear their shouts. Along the way we went through many dangerous situations due to the presence of the Soviet, Chinese and North Korean armies. Finally we came to the refugee area in Busan. Among the refugees, I believe we were the last ones to reach the area, arriving right after the battle at the Nakdong River. The South Korean forces had made their last stand. My path as a refugee was extremely difficult. There were many unforgettable stories.

These were not just steps in my personal life but steps to heal the wounds of God's bitter sorrow by paying indemnity for history. You must understand that from the very beginning I had already made up my mind that I would not tread a comfortable path. I am not the kind of person who looks back to see if there might have been another, easier, way.

While living as a refugee I had no house; I slept outdoors on the grass or in the sandpits with the sky as my blanket, watching the stars and shedding tears of bitter sorrow for the Korean Peninsula. (516-109, 2006/02/04)
 
3 It took 55 days for us to walk from Pyongyang to Busan. We begged for food along the way and, interestingly, God knew very well when we were hungry and tired. He knew it. Once I thought, "The day after tomorrow, we will get chicken." Then it happened that a lady came and greeted me, saying, "Welcome." I asked, "Who are you? I do not know you." Then she said, "Last night, I had a dream of my great-greatgrandfather, who said that a noble guest would come and told me to prepare chicken and rice cakes for him. So I did." I asked her, "How did you know what he would look like?" She said, "I was told he would come as a shabby-looking passerby, and your face looks very similar to his." Can you believe that such things happened? In that way, I was treated to rice cakes and chicken. These kinds of things happened quite often. (153-089, 1963/10/18)
 
4 Those who followed me in North Korea were very enthusiastic people. They followed me day and night wherever I went, meeting with whomever I met. But after I was imprisoned, most of them disappeared. Even the most unforgettable among them drifted away. There was one person to whom I wrote a heartfelt letter and had someone deliver it to him. But then, when I went to visit him, he had already changed. He said, "If you are the Son of God, why did you end up in prison? Your teaching is all false." He did not even care to read the letter. Instead he said, "Oh, a heretic is released from prison! Did you come here to spread your heresy?" So I took the letter back.

I was still carrying that letter with me when I passed through Yeongcheon, North Gyeongsang Province in South Korea. There, as I was crossing a bridge beside the railroad tracks to go to Busan, I took out that letter and read it one more time. Then I tore it up and threw it away. That was January 18, 1951. There were so many unforgettable incidents like that.

I already knew that even the most zealous among my followers could lose trust, betray me and leave. When I was in prison, that man’s spirit had come to me, greeted me, and in tears told me the story of his situation, saying, "I am leaving you now." I had thought, "How can this be?" But, as I later discovered, it was at that time that he left me.