지도자가 풀어야 할 과제
영어 이야기 2237
dymystify
[diːmístəfài]
수수께끼를 풀다,
자세히 풀다
아주 오래 전에 읽은 책 가운데
협상의 이론 (a theory of negotiation)이라는 제목 생각이 난다.
사과 하나를 둘이 공평하게 나누어 먹는 '협상'은 이렇다.'
한 사람이 사과를 두쪽으로 나누고
다른 사람은 두쪽 가운데 하나를 선택하게 한다는 것이었다.
사과를 자르는 사람은 공평하게 해야 나중에 선택해야 하는
자신에게 '불이익'이 돌아오지 않기 때문이라는 것이 그 글의 서론이었다.
The book I had read attempted to DYMYSTIFY the theory of negotiation.
내가 읽었던 그 책은 협상의 이론을 풀이하는 시도를 했다.
대한민국의 정치의 약점은 '협상'을 모른다는 것이다.
Have Koren politicains know how to DEMYSTIFY the art of negotiation.
한국의 정치인들이 협상의 기술을 풀어나가는 법을 알게 하자.
비교적 어려운 문제를 풀어나가는 것이 중요하지만
어떤 부류의 사람 (특히 노인)에게는 매우 어려운 것이
다른 사람들 (젊은이들) 에게는 아주 쉬울 때가 많다.
Using cell phones worldwide can be complicated the for the aged
but youngsters can help them with it by DEMYSTIFYING how to use it.
휴대전화를 사용하는 것은 노인들에게는 복잡하지만
젊은이들은 그것을 자세하게 풀어주면서 노인들이 사용하는 것을 도울 수 있다.
dymystify 는 14세기의 그리스어
mystikos (비밀, 신비와 연관된) 앞에 dy (de 의 변형 off 의 뜻)에다
make라는 접미어 fy 를 합친 것이 그 뿌리이다
신비로운 것을 풀어내가 한다는 긴 뜻이다.
그것이 의학용어로도 쓰이면서 ~
A therapist helps (to) DYMYSTIFY the causes of anxiety for the patients.
치로쟈 (특히 심리적)는 환자들의 공포의 원인을
푸는데 도움을 준다
'그렇게 도움을 주는 심리적 필요자도
하도 사랑의 종류가 많아서인지 몰라서일까..?!
이런 한탄 (?)의 소리도 한단다.
Love is a mystery I as a therapist can't DYMYSTIFY one,
사랑은 신비 자체이다.
심리치료자로서의 나 조차도 그것풀 수 없다
위에서 정치인이 협상을 방법을 모른다고 했는데
그 까닭은 정치인들이 마음에 품고 있는 것을
솔직하게 표현하지 못해서 그런 불행에 자신을 빠뜨리고 있는지도 모른다
그래서 나는 그들에게 이런 권고를 한다
You politicians, it is time for you to DYMYSTIFY what you think.
정치인들 당신들, 이제는 당신은 당신이 생각하고 있는 것을
솔직하게 풀어놓아야 할 때다.
I wonfer if you have someting to be DYMYSTIFIED for your couple's problem?
당신은 부부의 문제를 위해
풀어져야 할 것을 가지고 있는지 궁금하다
Love is a mystery I can't demystify,
mystify
Dan Neuharth Ph.D., MFT
Narcissism Demystified
ATTACHMENT
5 Signs of
It is time for you to DEMYSTIFY what you think.
Using cell phones worldwide can be a little bit of a complicated affair for the aged
but youngsters are to DEMYSTIFY the process for the aged.
Both need to be demystified and explained more simply.
Let's demystify the art of negotiation.
The professor's lecture helped to demystify the theories of quantum mechanics.
1800 후반 up and down
The goal of this seminar is to demystify the complexities of the legal system.
The self-help book aims to demystify the path to happiness and fulfillment.
The purpose of this class is to demystify the principles of sustainable living.
This book aims to demystify the world of graphic design.
The therapist helped demystify the causes of anxiety for her patients.
Lou tried to demystify the confusing world of technology for his great-grandmother by teaching her how to work a cell phone and a laptop
This book attempts to demystify the male
My big mission is to demystify wine and make it fun,
Love is a mystery I can't demystify,
The aim of the poems is to demystify rural and small town
To DYSTIFY is to make a difficult subject clearer or easier to understand
Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment in Dating Profiles
Key words that may signal emotional unavailability.
Updated September 26, 2023
Reviewed by Devon Frye
KEY POINTS
Recognizing potential partners' attachment styles can help you seek a healthier connection.
Avoidantly attached persons can be hesitant and disengaged, making for a complicated intimate relationship.
Online dating profiles offer clues that can reveal a dismissive-avoidant attachment style.
Cookie Studio/Shutterstock
Source: Cookie Studio/Shutterstock
mystify (v.)
1798, "to make obscure, obscure the meaning of;" 1814, "perplex purposely," from French mystifier (1772), a verb formed irregularly from mystique "mysterious" (see mystic (adj.)) + -fier "to make" (see -fy). Related: Mystified; mystifying.
also from 1798
Entries linking to mystify
word-forming element meaning "make, make into," from French -fier, from Latin -ficare, combining form of facere "to make" (from PIE root *dhe- "to set, put").
late 14c., mistike, "spiritually allegorical, pertaining to mysteries of faith," from Old French mistique "mysterious, full of mystery" (14c.), or directly from Latin mysticus "mystical, mystic, of secret rites" (source also of Italian mistico, Spanish mistico), from Greek mystikos "secret, mystic, connected with the mysteries," from mystes "one who has been initiated" (see mystery (n.1)).
Meaning "pertaining to occult practices or ancient religions" is recorded by 1610s. That of "hidden from or obscure to human knowledge or comprehension" is by 1630s.
The percentage of avoidantly attached participants on many online dating apps tends to be higher than the estimated 25 percent of all adults with an avoidant attachment style.
Avoidantly attached persons value independence, autonomy, and self-reliance but struggle with emotional closeness and interdependence. As a result, the emotional unavailability of many avoidantly attached persons can complicate relationships.
article continues after advertisement
Many people with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style—often termed “avoidant” for short—want an intimate relationship. However, fearing rejection or a loss of independence, they may find it difficult to fully engage in dating or seeking a relationship.
Dating a dismissive-avoidant partner may feel confusing, depriving, or hurtful, particularly for people with an anxious attachment style, which is on the opposite end of the spectrum from avoidant attachment. Anxiously attached persons are often drawn to avoidantly attached partners, only to end up feeling not valued or prioritized.
At the same time, avoidantly attached persons often experience anxiously attached persons as too demanding or clingy.
Nearly 1 in 3 American adults have used dating apps and nearly 1 in 4 have gone out on at least one date with someone they met on an online dating site, according to a 2020 Pew Research Center study. Despite the large number of people seeking relationships online, there is little peer-reviewed research on a possible correlation between attachment styles and the language and approach used in online dating profiles. This would seem to be a fertile area for future study.
In my clinical practice, I have worked with dozens of single individuals who use dating apps. Many clients seek to stop pursuing unavailable partners and have read or shown me numerous profiles of people they have dated who turned out to be emotionally unavailable.
Five themes emerged from my work with clients, which may suggest ways to spot potentially avoidantly attached people from their dating profiles.
article continues after advertisement
1. Keywords
Every word in an online profile is a choice. Avoidantly attached people tend to use certain key phrases to describe themselves. For example:
“Independent”
“Free spirit”
“Self-reliant”
“Value my alone time”
“Catch me if you can”
Seeking a relationship but reluctant to get too close, avoidantly attached people tend to telegraph "I want my distance" in their profiles. One of my clients related reading an online dating profile with the opening words: “I want someone who doesn’t make me feel trapped.”
2. What isn’t said
Many avoidantly attached people are not comfortable expressing emotions. Their profiles may focus on accomplishments, possessions, or activities, rather than the emotional experiences they seek with a partner.
In addition, because self-disclosure may feel too vulnerable, many avoidantly attached people’s profiles may be short, offering sparse insight into the writer.
THE BASICS
What Is Attachment?
Find a therapist to strengthen relationships
3. What they are seeking
Dating apps ask people to categorize their relationship goals, such as marriage, a long-term relationship, a short-term relationship, or “casual dating.”
Profiles from avoidantly attached persons tend to list vague, tentative, or short-term goals for being online, such as:
“Not sure”
“Just looking”
“Checking it out”
“Nothing serious”
article continues after advertisement
Of course, not everyone who uses such terms is avoidantly attached. People new to dating or who have recently ended a long-term relationship may use similar terms. That can reflect a healthy stance of wanting to take things gradually. The difference with avoidantly attached persons is that their standoffish posture is generally not due to recent events but reflects a long-term orientation.
4. Their tone
Profiles of avoidantly attached persons often read like a shopping list. They may use the imperative “must” to describe what a partner should be, such as “must have a sense of humor” or “must respect my alone time.”
Of course, many people seek a partner with shared interests. Doing so is not an indication of an avoidant attachment style.
ATTACHMENT ESSENTIAL READS
Nurturing Secure Attachment: Building Healthy Relationships
Why Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Attract Each Other
The difference, in my clients' experience, seems to be in the quantity. Avoidantly attached persons may list a dozen or more “musts,” thus ruling out the vast majority of potential partners. Doing so may unconsciously place roadblocks to meeting people.
They also may use simplistic phrases like “no drama” or “no baggage” which may reveal an unrealistic view of relationships, given that some conflict and personal issues are inevitable in relationships.
article continues after advertisement
5. Their availability
Avoidantly attached persons’ profiles may expect someone to seamlessly fit into their existing life structure, with little willingness on the avoidant person's part to accommodate another. For example, they may say they love their busy life but will try to make room for "the right person."
Or they may write something like, "I’ve worked hard [or raised a family] my entire adult life and now I'm ready for a relationship." While this can reflect an earnest re-prioritization of goals, for an avoidantly attached person, it may reflect a belief that one can simply change priorities on a dime.
Additional clues to a person’s attachment style will present themselves once contact begins. Though avoidantly attached people desire closeness, they are often wary of intimacy and proceed slowly, with frequent pullbacks. This may manifest as:
Being slow to respond to texts
Sending short or ambiguous texts
Engaging in a burst of back-and-forth texting, then going silent for days
Being hesitant to progress to a phone call or meeting
Suggesting getting together and indicating they will write back to set up a place and time, yet never doing so.
If you are seeking a relationship and find yourself repeatedly drawn to potential partners with avoidant tendencies, you might ask yourself two questions:
Is there a part of you that is anxious about intimacy and may be leading you to pick potentially unavailable partners?
Is there a way you are abandoning yourself and your boundaries by pursuing partners who will be exceedingly difficult to get close to