ways to stay positive (even when life is tough)
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by Lachlan Brown
March 30, 2023, 7:20 am
Life can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster, with its ups and downs, twists and turns.
The secret to enjoying the ride is all about maintaining positivity – reminding yourself that you’ll be alright in the end.
There are many ways to cultivate a “glass half-full” mindset that can help you navigate all of life’s hurdles, gain higher energy levels, and achieve enhanced well–being.
Remember: Positive thinking isn’t magic. It’s a skill that makes problems seem more manageable and less disheartening.
1) Allow yourself to have bad days
We often put so much pressure on ourselves to always be “on,” to be constantly happy, productive, and successful.
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But that’s just not realistic. We’re only human. As the saying goes, “It’s just a bad day, not a bad life.”
You have to give yourself permission to have those not-so-great days as these are only natural.
Look at the bright side: These lows can make the highs feel even more rewarding.
We get a deeper appreciation for the good days and even develop a more critical eye for moments that make us feel good about ourselves.
These bad days help us build resilience. They teach us how to cope, adapt, and better handle whatever is thrown our way.
2) Practice gratitude
Gratitude is transformative.
When you focus on the things you’re grateful for, it helps you maintain a positive outlook on life and inevitably boosts your overall happiness.
You deviate from the negative thoughts. You take time to genuinely appreciate the people around you and even the little things they do.
I recommend starting a gratitude journal and answering the prompt “3 things you’re grateful for” every day.
I know it’s hard to feel grateful when nothing’s going your way.
That was me a while back. I just got laid off – freshly heartbroken – no money to pay next month’s rent.
So I decided to give the gratitude journal a try.
I would write down seemingly mundane things: a good meal, a beautiful sunset, a conversation with a friend.
I found myself feeling more hopeful and content, even in the midst of a quarter-life crisis.
3) Take a digital detox
In a hyper-connected virtual world, it’s so easy to get overwhelmed by the constant barrage of notifications, news, and viral videos.
It also doesn’t help when you’re constantly comparing yourself to Instagram models or to your friends who seem to always be on vacation.
A digital detox can work wonders for your mental health. It makes you step back and see the real world for what it actually is – one that is full of adventure, memories, and possibilities.
Reconnect with the people and activities that truly matter to you (admit it – mindlessly scrolling through social media isn’t one of them).
4) Treat yourself
Treating yourself can oftentimes feel a bit indulgent – especially when you always think that you deserve to splurge – but it actually plays a big role in your overall well-being.
You just need to find a balance.
For starters, list down your small pleasures (e.g., bag of chips, TV series, going out with friends, books) then make sure to sprinkle these throughout your weekly agenda.
Believe it or not, treating yourself builds self-esteem.
You’re sending a message to yourself that you’re worth it, and that you know how to prioritize your needs and wants.
This can be especially important during times when you’re drowning in self-doubt.
5) Try to keep some semblance of a self-care routine
It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, which is why self-care is crucial for cultivating a positive mindset.
When you take time for yourself, both physically and mentally, you’re recharging your batteries and giving yourself a moment to your own thoughts.
Self-care activities include exercise, meditation, making coffee, indulging in a spa day, and taking a jog, among others.
One great benefit of a self-care routine is its positive impact on your relationships.
When you take care of yourself, you become better equipped to show up for others.
As they say, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
6) Rekindle your hobbies and passions
Hobbies give your mind a break from daily worries, frustrations, and challenges.
These give you a healthy outlet that not only allows you to unwind but also fosters a sense of accomplishment.
One year into my corporate job, I started feeling burned out. All I knew was my morning commute. Grind. Deadlines. Meetings. Sign out. Rinse and repeat. I felt like a robot looping through the same code day in, day out.
I realized that I hadn’t made time for my hobbies in ages. So I decided to turn on my digital piano which had been collecting dust in the corner of my room.
I kid you not – as soon as I started playing, it was like a heavy weight was lifted.
7) Listen to music
Music has a profound effect on our emotions.
Whether it’s an upbeat tune that gets us dancing or a romance song that makes us believe in love, music can be an incredible mood booster.
There’s also nothing like the feeling of discovering a new artist that you can binge-listen to.
Music also has a way of connecting people. If your favorite artist is in town, go to their concert. If your partner loves music, make them a Spotify playlist.
If your friend is heartbroken, listen to breakup songs together, then remind each other why you don’t need a relationship to be happy.
8) Surround yourself with positive people
The company you keep can have a significant effect on your overall happiness. Energy is contagious.
When you’re always surrounded by positive, uplifting people, you end up imbibing those same traits.
Plus, it’s always nice to be surrounded by friends and family that offer encouragement and motivation during tough times.
Positive people also tend to be ultra-supportive.
They make you believe that you can conquer the world.
Their words of affirmation can help you look at the silver lining of every situation, as well as develop a proactive and solution-oriented approach.
9) Envision a worthwhile future
Having a clear vision of what your life will be like in the future can be incredibly motivating.
When you set goals and think about all your life possibilities, you get inspired to get moving; you get a sense of purpose and direction that guides you whenever you’re faced with setbacks.
Circling back to my story about burnout, I felt stuck in my career. I knew that I wasn’t living up to my full potential.
One night, after playing a few songs on the piano, I sat down with a pen and paper and started envisioning my dream daily routine.
I imagined a future where I was pursuing a meaningful career, engaging in my passions, and interacting with people that inspired me. I had clarity and finally, a renewed sense of motivation.
10) Be solution-oriented
Adopting a solution-oriented mindset helps you focus on answers and not dwell on the problem per se.
Put another way, you’re focusing on the present and future, not the past that you can no longer control.
Keep in mind that being solution-oriented is a skill.
You need to train yourself to see challenges as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than obstacles to overcome.
Identify the root cause, brainstorm possible solutions (without judging feasibility yet), and develop an action plan.
Once you set the plan into motion, charge it to experience and see how it contributed to your well-being.
11) Ask for help when you need it
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
There’s a lot of value in recognizing that no man is an island. There will be times when you need to ask for help.
One example would be stress. You can ask for advice from other people who have been through your situation.
This way, you’re opening yourself up to new knowledge and perspectives that you may not have considered beforehand.
When you ask for help, you’re also demonstrating humility, trust, and vulnerability. You’re strengthening relationships by allowing others to feel valued and appreciated for what they have to say.
12) Take things one breath at a time
Life can get hectic. No doubt about that. With so many tasks, responsibilities, and chores, it’s not easy to become mindful and present.
So take things one breath at a time – remind yourself that even the most daunting goals can be tackled one step at a time.
This approach can have a calming effect on your mind, body, and of course, your overall happiness levels.
The Secret to a Better Life?
Hi. I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit.
I want you to know that if you’re struggling with feelings of anxiety, confusion, and frustration, it’s okay.
You see, I’ve been there too.
In my new eBook, I take you on a journey from my days as a lost 20-something hefting TVs in a warehouse to embracing Buddhism and creating the life of my dreams.
And I reveal a step-by-step process for you to transform your life in the same way…
If you’re ready to finally escape the life traps you’ve been stuck in, this eBook is what you’ve been waiting for.
Trust me, if I can use the teachings of Buddhism to brighten and empower my life, you can too.
Check out my new eBook here.
Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.
Lachlan Brown
I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.
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12 rude behaviors that strong women won’t tolerate
by Tina Fey
Last Updated March 30, 2023, 1:51 am
Most of the time, strong women are quite capable of just minding their own business and ignoring people.
You would have to do something VERY rude for them to put their foot down and say “Enough of this!”
Want to know what behaviors strong women won’t tolerate?
Here are 12 of them:
1. People commenting on their bodies
People can be quite insensitive sometimes and just blurt comments about our bodies without regard for how we might feel. Remarks like…
“Whatever happened to you? You’ve become as thin as a praying mantis!”
“Wow, you’ve gained a lot of weight. Do you stay in the kitchen all day?”
“Why do you still have pimples at 25?”
You would ask, should strong women just smile and become the “bigger person” here?
Hell no! They’d firmly let the other person know that they are being rude, and to cut it off. And, in doing so, make it known that they are not to be messed with.
They might say something sarcastic—something with an oomph—but most of the time, a strong woman would simply say “Hey, that’s rude. Don’t ask me that again.”
2. Colleagues not giving them proper credit
Women have been denied proper credit for the good we do all throughout history. And that continues even today, with people underestimating us wanting to keep us in our place.
Strong women don’t stand for that. If someone fails to give them the credit they’re due, they’ll speak up.
It’s infuriating, and so they’d speak up (as politely as they can at first), address the issue properly…and if things don’t improve, they’d tell their higher ups about it.
Even if it won’t change anything much in the long run, they’re at least making it clear that they are not easy to take advantage of.
3. Parents treating their partners rudely
Sometimes, parents find pleasure in making the lives of their children’s boyfriend or girlfriend a living hell.
They use their “power” to intimidate the partner because they think their children deserve better. It’s simply power tripping in the guise of “helping” and “protecting” their children from choosing bad partners.
When a strong woman finds herself in this situation, she’d not only tell her parents off, she’d do it in front of her partner.
To her, if her parents are really good people, they’d just tell her about their opinions in private instead of treating her partner horribly in the open.
4. Nosy aunts asking them why they’re still single
I’m sure a lot of us can relate to the experience of having family REPEATEDLY ask us why we’re still single, or not married, or why we don’t have kids… or even why we don’t have more.
Sure, they might have done it without intending to annoy or pressure you, but that doesn’t change the fact that these statements are annoying and make people feel ashamed or pressured.
Strong women don’t give free passes for these “innocent questions”—they would try to politely ask them to stop asking those questions first, but if people choose not to comply and keep asking, they are more than happy to walk away.
5. Neighbors who don’t know boundaries
Whether you live in an apartment or own a house of their own, neighbors can easily make daily life heaven or hell.
Living with kind and respectful neighbors is nothing short of heaven, and there’s no arguing that.
On the other hand, living with neighbors who play loud music all night long, like to gossip and spread rumors, and get up to your nose complaining about your lawn or the color of your curtains is hell.
Strong women might not pick fights unwarranted, but they aren’t just going to stay nice and quiet around neighbors like these either.
They’d assert their rights for privacy and boundaries. They would try to communicate clearly (and nicely) to their neighbors first, and if that fails try, well…they ask the authorities for help.
6. People who are passive-aggressive
A lot of people are simply too immature to handle their negative feelings towards others. And so instead of being honest about their feelings or simply backing away, they act passive-aggressive.
Strong (and mature) women not only find this behavior assholish. They also see it for what it is—cowardice.
Why can’t people simply be honest when they’re hurt or offended instead of being passive-aggressive? Why can’t they just disengage and not associate with the person who offended them?
For that reason, mature women say “hold on” when they see blatant passive aggression and then cut straight to the heart of the matter.
They’d ask “Tell me the truth, did I do something to offend you? Because I can sense you’re being passive-aggressive.”
7. Friends who spread rumors
Gossip is harmful, and is good for little other than getting people hurt—often emotionally, but sometimes even physically.
Strong women know this, and for that reason they HATE gossip and rumors, especially when their friends do it.
So if they find out that one of their friends is talking about them behind their back, they’d drop everything and confront their friend.
Spreading secrets and making up stories is rude, of course, but by gossiping about a friend they’ve also considered themselves untrustworthy.
They’ll let their friend speak and, if it’s still in their heart to give their friend a second chance, warn them not to do it again.
8. Higher-ups who enjoy bullying those below them
Strong women hate bullies in general. But they particularly can’t stand those who have power and use it to intimidate and toy with those below them.
When they overhear someone “jokingly” asking for favors from their subordinates, strong women would tell them off and remind them it’s unethical…even if it could cost them their friendship.
When they see their boss dangling a carrot to tease their employees, strong women can recognize that it’s just manipulation and refuse to play along.
And they don’t care if they will get heat for being “loose-lipped” but if they see their superiors harassing a colleague, they will go out and talk to HR about it.
9. People who cut in line
This is a pet peeve of many people but what separates strong women from others is that they actually express their abhorrence towards it.
They won’t just let it pass because not only is it annoying, they know it tolerates bad behavior…and why should they keep allowing rude and disrespectful people?
So they’d talk to them and express firmly that they’re cutting in line. And if they won’t budge, they’d talk to the authorities.
10. Male motorists who look down on “woman drivers”
Despite all the work that feminism has done and won, women are still seen as the weaker sex to this day… especially when it comes to “manly” activities like driving.
Everyone makes mistakes when driving, but when a woman does it people blame not her inattentiveness or lack of instruction, but her gender.
There’s a study that shows that when a woman performs badly on the road, people would rate her worse than they would if she were a man instead.
Strong women know when they’re facing this kind of discrimination and will defend themselves tooth and nail to be evaluated as fairly as possible.
11. Strangers who patronize them simply for being a woman
That is to say, they have no patience for people who make jokes about women being the weaker sex, or imply that women are “naturally” going to think like this or act like that.
It’s the 21st century and men have absolutely no excuse to act like that, and no free pass if they say “I was just joking!”
Strong women know that these men are just being assholes and treat them accordingly.
That’s not to say that they go out of their way to call out or attack every guy who acts this way. They know how to choose their battles.
Some people are just better off ignoring or excising from their lives, and others deserve a more substantial warning, like being reminded that they can be given hefty fines for it.
12. People who try to shame them for being in control
Whether it’s their own career, their sexuality, or their relationship, strong women are in control over their lives… and naturally, of course, there are people who do not like that and would try to shame them for it.
Someone might tell them “Why are you using Tinder? Are you thirsty for sex?” or “Why are you wearing skimpy shorts?” or “Are you sure you want to be a scientist?”
Strong women will happily flip the bird at these people and call them out for even having the audacity to try.
So what if they’ve decided to take charge of their dating life by using a dating app, or trying their luck at something they’re truly passionate about? That’s their own business, and no one else’s.
Last Words
Strong women are who they are because they refuse to be shamed into submission, in this world that has always been keen to shame women for simply being themselves.
They stand up and speak up not because they are insecure or have something to prove, but because they are confident in who they are and that they need to speak up and be heard.
The Secret to a Better Life?
Hi. I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit.
I want you to know that if you’re struggling with feelings of anxiety, confusion, and frustration, it’s okay.
You see, I’ve been there too.
In my new eBook, I take you on a journey from my days as a lost 20-something hefting TVs in a warehouse to embracing Buddhism and creating the life of my dreams.
And I reveal a step-by-step process for you to transform your life in the same way…
If you’re ready to finally escape the life traps you’ve been stuck in, this eBook is what you’ve been waiting for.
Trust me, if I can use the teachings of Buddhism to brighten and empower my life, you can too.
Check out my new eBook here.
Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.
Tina Fey
I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter
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10 red flags that you need to focus more on your own happiness
by Roselle Umlas
Last Updated March 29, 2023, 1:23 pm
Do you ever feel like you’re always putting others before yourself? Or like you’re just going through the motions without feeling truly fulfilled?
If your answer is yes, it might be time to focus on your own happiness. Sometimes, when we’re in too deep trying to meet our obligations, we can let each day pass by without noticing we’re running low.
Fortunately, there are some signs that can point this out to us. In this article, I’ll discuss ten red flags that indicate a need for you to focus more on your happiness.
Let’s get started!
1) Saying “yes” when you really mean “no”
Have you ever found yourself saying agreeing to things you really don’t want to do?
I know I have. There was a time when I would say yes to every invitation and every favor asked of me.
At first, I could make myself feel better about it by thinking it felt good to be able to please or help out people. But it wasn’t long before I felt worn and stretched out.
Eventually, I made the decision to just say “no” when I didn’t want to do something.
And you know what? That tiny decision turned out to give me huge rewards in the way of happiness. I felt so much freer and in charge of my life!
If this sounds familiar to you, here’s a bit of advice – you have the right to say “no” sometimes. You’re not a pushover. Your time and energy are valuable, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
And, as I’ll show you in the next section, you don’t have to feel guilty!
2) Feeling guilty when you take time for yourself
Guilt is such a heavy burden to carry, and it’s not something you should entertain in the pursuit of your own happiness.
The way I think about it is, why should I feel guilty about my me-time? I deserve just as much attention and energy as I give to other people, don’t I?
So if you’re resting and recharging but feeling like you’re being lazy or selfish, ditch that thought.
In a way, you’re doing everyone else a favor by taking time away for yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup, as they say. When you constantly put other people’s needs before yours, you’re bound to feel drained in the long run.
But when you’re rested and doing what makes you happy, you’ll also have tons of energy to deal with the demands of everyday life.
3) Feeling overwhelmed and stressed
Speaking of the demands of daily life, another sign to watch out for is this – you’re constantly feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
Whether it’s work-related stress or personal issues, it’s important to pause and think about what’s causing these feelings. Maybe you need to set better boundaries or seek support from friends or a therapist.
The point is, you just can’t keep operating under such a high level of stress. Even if you trick your mind into thinking you’re okay, your body will speak up and tell you, no, you’re not okay!
4) Apologizing for everything
Do you find yourself constantly apologizing, even when you haven’t done anything wrong? Maybe you apologize for speaking up in a meeting or for asking a question. Maybe you always start your sentences with “Sorry, but I’d just like to…”
That’s a red flag that you aren’t placing much worth on yourself. Throwing in an apologetic word when it’s not warranted diminishes your statement.
Here’s what you need to know – your thoughts and feelings are valid, and you have a right to express them. You shouldn’t need to apologize for being yourself!
5) Seeking validation from others
I’d like to add to that idea of being genuinely, authentically yourself. When you’re always looking for validation from others, that’s another sign that you aren’t living life on your own terms.
Consider these questions:
Do you ever find yourself seeking approval from others?
Do you always check social media to see how many likes your latest post has?
Do you feel like you need your partner’s constant reassurance?
If you answered yes to any of these, I’ve got a gentle reminder for you. Your worth isn’t determined by others’ opinions of you. You are inherently valuable, no matter what anyone else thinks.
6) Comparing yourself to others
See, the danger of seeking validation from others is that it leads to another happiness-sucking habit – comparison.
We live in a world where it’s easy to compare ourselves to others all the time. Whether it’s on social media, at work, or in our personal lives, it’s natural to look around and see how we measure up.
But the truth is, everyone has their own journey and their own struggles. You don’t really know what people are going through behind closed doors.
So constantly comparing yourself to others won’t do you any good. It will simply keep you feeling like you’re never enough and that you’re failing at life. That definitely takes away from your happiness!
7) Seeking external validation
This is similar to seeking approval from others, but it’s specifically about looking for validation outside of yourself. Maybe you feel like you need a certain job or relationship to feel happy.and fulfilled.
I’ve been guilty of this. I admit to being a competitive person, and in my younger days, I would do things because I wanted the rewards that came with them – awards, recognition, promotions, and so on.
But then I noticed something. Once the high of winning died down, I would feel lost and empty. It got to a point where I was asking myself, who was I without all those trappings of success?
That led me to realize that happiness comes from within. Once I let go of the idea that those perks defined me and focused on accepting myself no matter what, I felt so much more fulfilled. It meant I could go on loving myself even if I wasn’t winning anything!
8) Not doing things that make you happy
This may seem obvious, but it’s easy to fall into the trap of doing what we think we “should” do, rather than what actually brings us joy.
Case in point: my story in the previous section. I was doing things not because I liked doing them, but because I wanted the glory that came with succeeding.
Does that sound familiar to you?
Well, don’t let society dictate what you should and shouldn’t do.
If you want to take a dance class even if you’re in your 40s, 50s, 60s…go ahead. If you want to learn painting, make time for it.
Whatever makes you happy, do it, even if it doesn’t seem practical or productive. Life is too short to spend time on things that don’t fill us with joy!
9) Feeling stuck in a rut
Not doing things that make us joyful leads to this next thing. You’ll be feeling stuck in life.
Have you ever felt like you’re just on autopilot, not really feeling fulfilled? Do you wake up in the mornings and struggle to get out of bed?
Maybe you’re not sure what your purpose is, or you’re not making progress toward your goals. Maybe your life looks like an endless cycle of tasks and responsibilities that leave you feeling empty.
Well, I’m happy to tell you, it’s never too late to make a change. Sometimes, all it takes is a dose of newness – new hobbies or career paths or new relationships.
Be brave enough to step outside your comfort zone and see what else the world has to offer.
10) Feeling like you’re not in control
Lastly, I’d like to talk about the importance of owning your life.
All too often, we let life happen to us, and we merely go along with the flow. To a certain extent, going along with the flow makes for easy living.
But too much of it will leave you feeling like you’re not in control. It can be really easy to feel a sense of hopelessness and despair.
This happens when you’re only reacting…instead of acting.
What’s the difference?
Well, reacting means you simply respond to external factors – you’re at the mercy of these factors. You have no control at all.
But acting gives you ownership. When you’re proactive about your life, you make your own choices; no one does it for you. You have concrete goals that you decided for yourself, so you have a clear sense of where you’re going in life.
What to do
If you’ve noticed any of these red flags in your life, don’t worry – you’re not alone. It’s easy to fall into patterns that don’t serve us, but the good thing is that you have the power to change them.
Here are a few tips for focusing on your own happiness:
Practice self-compassion
Treat and talk to yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. Instead of beating yourself up for mistakes or shortcomings, try to offer yourself encouragement and support.
Set boundaries
Be clear about what you will and won’t tolerate in your life. Maybe it’s saying “no” to a work request that you don’t have time for, or telling a friend that you need some space. Boundaries are crucial for protecting our time and energy.
Prioritize self-care
Make time for the things that fill you up, whether it’s exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones. Self-care looks different for everyone, so it’s important to find what works for you.
Practice gratitude
Focus on what’s good in your life, even when things feel tough. Take a little time each day to write down things you’re grateful for, or express gratitude to loved ones. I know that when I started gratitude journaling, I could see the good things in my life much more clearly!
Seek support
There’s no shame in asking for support. It can truly make all the difference when you’re going through a tough time. So reach out to friends, family, or a therapist when you need help. You don’t have go through life alone!
Discover your purpose in life: A new technique
Tired of feeling unfulfilled? Searching for more meaning in your life?
Then check out the new approach to finding your purpose in life.
It’s a weird, new way to discover your true life purpose without using the traditional method of creative visualization.
In just a few minutes, you’ll learn the new technique and instantly have a deep and profound understanding of what you’re meant to do in your life.
When you find your purpose, you have more zest for life, increased energy and a sense of empowerment.
Learn more here.
Roselle Umlas
I am a freelance writer with a lifelong interest in helping people become more reflective and self-aware so that they can communicate better and enjoy meaningful relationships.
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March 29, 2023, 9:36 am
It’s normal to feel afraid sometimes. But as we grow older, we also start to lose our confidence because of the life-altering changes we go through.
Confidence is an important element of success, but we don’t always have as much of it as we need.
The good news is that you can rebuild your lost confidence with the right habits.
Whether you only lack confidence in certain areas or you can’t feel confident about anything, these 10 tips can help restore your self-esteem:
1) Learn Something New and Interesting
If you’ve lost your confidence, learning something new and interesting can help you regain your sense of competence.
When we feel skilled at something, it’s easier to feel confident talking about it.
So why not pick up a new hobby or skill that excites you?
Whether it’s learning a new language, trying out a new recipe, or taking up a new sport, diving into something new can be invigorating.
Of course, the key to gaining confidence in something new is to put in the time and practice.
Don’t expect to become an expert overnight – every master was once a beginner.
But with consistent effort, you’ll start to see progress.
For instance, if you’ve always wanted to write, start by writing a few paragraphs every day.
As you continue to practice and hone your craft, you’ll start to see your writing improve.
And here’s a secret: learning something new doesn’t just boost your confidence in that particular area – it can also help you build broader perspectives about different topics.
The more knowledgeable you become, the more confident you’ll feel contributing to conversations and trying new things.
2) Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others
As social creatures, we often find ourselves comparing our status to other people – whether it’s about salaries, material things, relationships, achievements, or other things in life.
Making comparisons is normal, but it does nothing to boost an individual’s confidence.
When we compare ourselves to others, we feel envy and jealousy toward them.
As we experience more of these negative feelings, we also tend to feel worse about ourselves.
It’s difficult to stop comparing ourselves to others, but it’s an essential step to rebuilding lost confidence.
When you find yourself getting jealous of other people because of what they have that you don’t, remind yourself that everyone has their own pace, and life isn’t a competition.
Another thing that can help you ground yourself is to remember and focus on your successes and strengths.
Keeping a gratitude journal allows you to focus on your own life by tracking the life aspects where you’re the most blessed.
3) Surround Yourself With Positive and Supportive People
Take a moment and reflect on how your friends make you feel – do they support and lift you up or do they bring your mood down? Are they always judging you or do they love you for who you are?
The people around us influence our thoughts and attitudes about ourselves more than we realize.
We should pay close attention to how other people make us feel – if someone always leaves us sad and disappointed after hanging out, then it might be time to separate ways with them.
To start restoring confidence, it’s crucial to surround ourselves with people who love and support us.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that not everyone who comes into my life is meant to stay.
And while criticism can be helpful, constantly being around people who only see our faults can be detrimental to our mental health.
That’s why it’s important to build a supportive circle of people who believe in us, even when we don’t believe in ourselves.
When we have people in our lives who love and support us unconditionally, it’s easier to feel confident and secure in who we are.
I’ve personally experienced the difference that a supportive circle can make.
Since surrounding myself with people who believe in me and my dreams, I’ve felt happier and more confident than ever before.
4) Don’t Let Perfectionism or Your Past Get in the Way
Perfection is often the enemy of success.
For most people, the pressure to be perfect locks them up and makes them too afraid to even try.
But it’s crucial to take the first step and just do your best even if it’s not perfect right away.
Taking pride in the value of your own work can help slowly rebuild your confidence – there’s always the chance to redo and improve your craft anyway.
Another hurdle to self-confidence is the fear of messing up again.
But remember that an individual is wiser after making a mistake – it all boils down to how confident they are to try again.
Learn from past struggles and use them to move forward.
If you believe that other people are worthy of success despite their flaws, then you should also show yourself the same compassion.
You can cultivate positivity, so all you need is to trust yourself that you can eventually succeed in anything you set your heart to.
5) Leave Your Comfort Zone Sometimes
People like safety and security so they stay in their comfort zones.
Trying new things is scary but sometimes, it’s better to stop beating around the bush and face fears head-on.
A little self-doubt is healthy because it can show a person’s dedication to improve their performance.
But instead of refusing new challenges altogether, tell yourself that it’s just a little experiment to see where it leads you.
Once people get the hang of leaving their comfort zone little by little, their anxiousness slowly fades away too.
Every step forward gives them confidence because they eventually learn that failure isn’t always as bad as they thought.
Confidence is all about taking risks – stepping outside of our comfort zones and pushing ourselves to try new things.
When we take chances and see positive results, it’s a powerful confidence booster. It shows us that we’re capable of more than we may have realized.
But here’s the thing – it’s not just about the wins. Even when we fail, we’re still learning and growing.
Every loss can be turned into a valuable lesson, helping us to improve and get better next time.
So don’t be afraid to take risks and embrace the possibility of failure.
Every chance you take, whether it’s starting a new business, asking someone out on a date, or trying a new hobby, is an opportunity to learn and grow.
6) Take Care of Your Mind and Body
It can be difficult for a person to feel good about themselves if they don’t take care of their bodies.
Practicing self-care is essential because doing something positive for the body, mind, and spirit results in increased self-confidence.
Some of the most important self-care practices related to boosting confidence include eating a healthy diet, exercising consistently, meditating for better relaxation, and sleeping at the right time.
Caring for the body is crucial to building self-confidence so make sure to take better care of it.
Aside from taking care of the body, part of self-care is also being kind to yourself.
People are always too hard on themselves whenever they make a mistake, but treating themselves with compassion actually allows them to be more emotionally flexible.
It gives them better control of challenging emotions and enhances their connection to their true selves.
7) Practice Positive Self-Talk All the Time
Criticisms are important, but negative words alone limit a person’s self-worth and abilities.
On the other hand, positive self-talk helps people overcome their doubts and allows them to take on new challenges to improve their skills.
Every time you think that you’re not good or knowledgeable enough to speak up in a meeting, remind yourself that some of your thoughts aren’t always accurate.
You tend to underestimate your abilities, so it’s crucial to find a way to turn those words into positive self-talk.
When you feel bad about yourself because of something, try to reframe your thoughts and change your perspectives.
For example, turn your “this is impossible” to “all I need to do is try”, “I can’t do anything right” to “I learned something for next time”, and “I can’t speak in public” to “everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses”.
8) Do Things You’re Good at Confidently
When people do things they’re already good at, their self-confidence increases.
Their strengths become even stronger, which allows them to believe in themselves better.
This habit also increases their satisfaction with their lives.
Life satisfaction levels and believing in one’s own abilities are related.
To become happier and more content with life, people must first find out their strengths.
From there, they can engage with their abilities regularly until they become even stronger.
For example, if you enjoy playing a sport, then try training at least once a week.
If there’s a task at work you’re good at, try taking on more of that particular job.
Building your strengths helps boost your self-confidence more because there’s already the validation that it’s something you’re good at.
9) Know When to Say No
Taking on new challenges and honing strengths can enhance a person’s self-confidence, but some situations can cut it back.
It’s crucial to pick out battles wisely so individuals can preserve their confidence and self-worth.
Saying no to some challenges that only make you feel worse about yourself is okay.
Social and emotional boundaries make us feel safer because they give us control over our lives.
Although discomfort is part of the growth process, there’s nothing wrong with drawing the line and sticking to your boundaries.
Whenever someone suggests an activity that I know lowers my confidence, I respectfully decline their request or invitation.
I understand that going out of my comfort zone is important, but I won’t do it if it hurts the confidence I spent years rebuilding.
I know that avoiding that activity forever isn’t the right answer, so I’m slowly building my strength until I’m confident enough to try it again.
10) Set Realistic Goals for Yourself
There’s nothing wrong with dreaming big and reaching for the skies – but it can leave us disappointed when things don’t always go our way.
Trying to achieve ambitious goals involves a lot of failures until we figure out what works.
However, those trials and errors make us doubt ourselves and diminish our self-confidence.
The solution lies in having realistic and achievable goals.
The more little steps we take, the greater confidence we build in ourselves and our skills.
It always helps to write down our goals so we can find ways to attain them.
If we have a low chance of achieving a goal, then it’s better to dial it down and make it more attainable and realistic.
For example, people who want to lose weight are often advised to have weekly targets instead of focusing on long-term weight loss.
Breaking big goals into smaller steps boosts a person’s self-confidence — they believe better in themselves when they see the results of their hard work.
The Secret to a Better Life?
Hi. I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit.
I want you to know that if you’re struggling with feelings of anxiety, confusion, and frustration, it’s okay.
You see, I’ve been there too.
In my new eBook, I take you on a journey from my days as a lost 20-something hefting TVs in a warehouse to embracing Buddhism and creating the life of my dreams.
And I reveal a step-by-step process for you to transform your life in the same way…
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Trust me, if I can use the teachings of Buddhism to brighten and empower my life, you can too.
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Lachlan Brown
I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.
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