1. Do you feel that the donor's right to confidentiality outweighs the child's right to know their biological family?
2. In Mike’s case, do you agree Trish’s opinion that being a sperm donor does not make you a dady?
3. Is artificial insemination a medical miracle or moral misstep?
4. Are family ties genetic or made?
5. (For women) If you’re Robin, a 38-year-old single, who doesn’t want to miss your opportunity to become a mother, are you willing to go to sperm banks to conceive “a perfect baby"? (For men) If you’re a single man who won’t be able to have a baby sooner, are you willing to seek for a perfect egg donor and a surrogate mom to have a baby?
6. Which is your choice, adoption or medical help?
A Devastating Truth
When Katie reached adolescence, she and her mother Carol hit a brick wall when trying to communicate. The root of the problem was that Carol had been keeping a secret: Katie was conceived through artificial insemination. Although the truth was initially devastating, Katie immediately began the search for her biological father. With the help of the sperm bank, she was able to locate him, and learned that he had been adopted, and his name was Bobby. She wrote him a letter, explaining that she wanted nothing more than to learn about her own history. "I just let him know that I was as curious as he was when he searched for his biological parents," she says.
Just two days after writing the letter, Bobby wrote back asking her to call when she was ready. She called that same day, and the two immediately knew that they had to meet.
Sharing History
In the eighteen years since donating sperm, Bobby had married and had a son of his own. While he was initially shocked to learn that he had a daughter, he knew exactly what it was like to search for a biological parent. "Katie's letter was very matter-of-fact," he explains. "'I don't want a dad, I don't want money.' But she did say, 'You know what it's like, because you were adopted.' That put the hook in me."
They met, and instantly connected. They are now slowly building a relationship, and Katie is grateful for the opportunity to learn more about her own history. "Meeting Bobby has made me feel comfortable in my own skin, comfortable with who I am, and has given me confidence in knowing that I can turn out okay," she explains.
Giving the Gift of Life
Mike has been donating his sperm monthly for the past five years. "I originally started the program as a blood donor, and I talked with my wife, and we decided it would be a good way to help others have the gift of life," he explains. Mike estimates that he already has between two and five children through sperm donation.
Mike has released his identity through the sperm bank so that his children can contact him if they wish when they turn 18. His wife, Trish, adds, "I don't want anyone coming to us looking for money, or for a daddy, but I know medically they're definitely going to want information. Being a sperm donor does not make you a daddy." Oprah agrees, saying, "You're not a man because you can make a baby, you're a man because you can take care of one."
Raising the Next Generation
Robin was 38 years old and single, and she feared she was going to miss her opportunity to become a mother. She longed for a biological child, so she researched sperm donation at the California Cryobank, one of the nation's largest sperm banks. After carefully scrutinizing medical and personality profiles, Robin found her perfect donor.
Robin's daughter Becca is now four years old, and Robin says she is pleased to see characteristics of her donor in her daughter. Robin is completely upfront with Becca about her origins, and taught her the difference between a donor and a daddy. Although Robin hopes Becca will one day seek out her biological father, she's not encouraging her to do so. "I want her to feel complete now, but I'm curious and I feel gratitude," says Robin. "I feel indebted to him. He gave me an amazing gift."
Searching for Answers
Desperate to have a family, Barry and Janice's mother participated in one of the first fertility clinics in England during World War II. Public backlash forced the doctors to destroy their records when they retired. When Barry was 47 years old, he and Janice (now both living in North America) started looking for clues about their conception.
Their search revealed startling answers. Over the years, Barry and Janice were able to find other offspring from the clinic. Genetic testing confirmed that Barry and Janice are full siblings, and they have a half-brother, David, living in London. And that wasn't all: Barry discovered he has a daughter from a former relationship!
You can watch Barry and Janice's search for their biological father in the documentary Offspring.
A New World of Consumers
Is sperm becoming a new commodity? Law Professor Lori Andrews says there are some clinics that are trying to sell their sperm at drug stores. "One in six couples are infertile, and there's a huge market. So some [sperm banks] are hoping to distribute it so you could go and pick up a pack of cigarettes and sperm from your donor. Sperm is also one of the biggest American exports. We import Italian shoes, but we export sperm from men who are blonde-haired and blue-eyed to countries across the globe where that is a favored trait."
Lori continues, "It's changing the dynamic of family. Some single women who have used a particular donor—say sperm donor number 2052—actually have family reunions where they get together and half-siblings meet each other. So they have an expanded family network from the beginning of childhood."
Uniting Biological Siblings
Ryan is 12 years old and a junior in high school. Since he was two years old, he's known that his biological father is a sperm donor. Ryan is trying to find his donor father and half-siblings through his website, www.donorsiblingregistry.com, where donors and donor children are matched by their donor numbers and physical characteristics.
Ryan's looking for answers only a biological father can give him. "I feel so far growing up, there are a lot of parts of me emotionally and physically that I can pull out from my mother's side family, like parts of my face and interests I have. But there's a whole other side of me that I can't find in the family I know of—a whole other side of me that comes from my father's side—that I'd be really interested in seeing in someone else."
So far, Ryan has made 14 matches through his site.
whether or not sexual discrimination exists in professional life is the subject of a major argument.some say it does not, that the appearance of discrimination is actually the result of longer male experience on the job. others , especially women , insist that ingrained social prejudice is at work. if you think unreasonable discrimination against females continues , who do you think is at fault , men or women?
any time a popular movie or sporting event comes around , some people buy extra tickets in advance for resale at a much higher price. the fans then have no choice but to buy these expensive tickets , since all of the regular priced ones are sold. even though scalping is illegal , the practice continues because of supply and demand. who is more responsible for perpetuating this illegality , the scalpers or the purchasers?