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(Genesis 2:18) The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
God, we love you.
God, we thank you.
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May is the month of family. Today is the fourth Sunday in May: ‘Couple’s Sunday.’ Before we go on, I will introduce a song by Kim, Kwang-Seok. Let us hear it together.
<Song> The Story of a Couple in Their 60's by Kim, Kwang-Seok
With your lovely white hands
you used to tie my necktie
I'm vaguely reminded of that
Honey, do you remember those days?
The youngest son's entrance exam,
and the sleepless nights because of them
I'm vaguely reminded of that
Honey, do you remember those days?
The years flow like that
and we have come this far;
Life flows like that
and we're at the sunset of our lives
On our eldest daughter's wedding day
we shed tears of mixed emotions
Now, they are all dried up
Honey, do you remember those tears?
The years flow like that
the more white hairs you have;
you said everyone else was leaving this world
and honey, I will just hold your hand tight.
The years flow like that
and we have come this far;
Life flows like that
and we're at the sunset of our lives
How long will you go on that long journey
of no return, all by yourself?
Leaving me all alone here
Honey, why aren't you saying anything?
Honey, take care; goodbye
Honey, take care; goodbye
Honey, take care; goodbye
Why are we getting married? We marry because we want to be happy. But, after some years, our marriage became an unhappy one. What are the reasons?
Nothing in common with each other? Economic problems like poverty? Dollars and cents including liabilities, squander and vanity? Business fails? Family troubles involving parents, brothers and sisters?
Or being ignored by your spouse? Emotional abuse? Violence? Drunkenness? Selfishness? Irresponsibility? Your spouse’s affairs?
There are so many problems to destroy your marriage life and make your family unhappy. Though, a lot of families are enduring these pains and keeping themselves with patience. Otherwise, your marriage life would be broken and a more serious misfortune would be waiting for you.
In Genesis, Jacob said to Pharaoh like this:
(Genesis 47:9) And Jacob said to Pharaoh, "The years of my pilgrimage are a hundred and thirty. My years have been few and difficult, and they do not equal the years of the pilgrimage of my fathers."
This is life. Everyone is experiencing few and difficult years in life. So I want you to be comforted in Christ and chin up.
Moses said in Psalm as following:
(Psalm 90:10) The length of our days is seventy years or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
King Solomon also said in Ecclesiates like this:
(Ecclesiastes 2:23) All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.
There is no true meaning of happiness in the world. There may be partial and imperfect happiness on earth. But, eternal happiness can be found only in the kingdom of heaven.
1. Conditions of Happiness are Considered before Marriage
1) Partner with Fine Looks
2) Partner with Financial Freedom
3) Partner who is Nice, Gentle and Devoting to Me
4) Partner with Unfailing Faith
5) Partner Faithful to Family
6) Partner with a Home
There is no one in this world who meets these conditions.
2. Conditions of Happiness are Considered after Marriage
You give up all the hopes about your spouse except:
⑴ do not upset me or make me worry;
and ⑵ just keep the basic attitudes in marriage.
3. Conditions of Happiness are Considered after Meeting Jesus
1) Only if he or she believes in God Unswervingly
2) Only if he or she becomes a spouse helping me as the Bible says
3) Only if he or she keeps healthy
These hopes can be achieved if you try. Your spouse feels happy only if you do these very basics in marriage life.
4. Things to give up for a happy marriage life
1) Egoistic mind: benefiting himself only, taking his advantages only and making you move only as the way he thinks
2) Bad temper
3) Blunt language: shout loudly, speak nervously, spit out annoyingly, swear tough words, abuse emotionally, ignore and so on
4) Bad attitudes to hurt reliability including lies and wild goose chases
5. Things to do for a happy marriage life
1) Forsake your egoism and help your partner
2) Speak to your partner in a respectful manner
3) Invest your money and time on your partner
You have very limited time with your partner in life. Think as if your spouse could survive just one more year. You may want to treat your partner better than before. You will be happy when you find that your partnergets happy. Rebalance your schedule between work and your partner. Try to make him or her happy even in trivial matters and in words.
Everybody can change his attitude in marriage only if he wants. No matter how well you treat your partner, you would regret if your spouse died. You think you would have done more for your partner. Do it now for no regret in marriage.
<Conclusion>
One and the most important neighbor in your life is your spouse. So you have to regard your partner as valuable. After some years of marriage, we tend to treat them indifferently, speak to them bluntly, hurt them, make them sad, give pains to them and bring unhappiness to them.
From now on, let us live by the Word. First, you must become a helper suitable for your partner.
(Genesis 2:18) The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
Second, do your own marital duty.
(1 Corinth 7:3) The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
Third, respect your partner from your heart.
(Ephesians 5:22-25, 28 and 33) [22] Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. [23] For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. [24] Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. [25] Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her [28] In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [33] However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
God’s people must live by the Word so that they can evade from his judgment and anger. We have to obey the Word of God without regards to our wills and opinions. Then, our characters will be changed in a good mood which God wants to form. Also, the relationship between partners will be better than before.
Hallelujah!
<Story> My last seafood soup
I am in the last stage of brain tumor. Everyday I am suffering from the pains: which seizes me almost to death. Even the radiation therapy is meaningless and I am waiting for the day of death soon. I cannot feel any order or any taste now. My family never cry before me, for my comfort. They cry out in the absence of me and return to me with puffy eyes.
My wife quit her job to serve me in hospital. My two sons once away from church now attends church services regularly. My mom get older, maybe ten years more, because of my fighting against tumor.
One day I thought about what I could do for my family. My condition got worse recently. The remaining days would not be so many, I guessed. The calendar said to me that my wife’s birthday was very near. I wished I could survive by then. I wanted to serve the seafood soup for my wife on her birthday. I searched Youtube materials to find how to make a soup. (In Korea, we eat the seaweed soup in the morning of our birthdays.) Suddenly, I cried out for regrets. I had never served the seaweed soup for my wife on her birthdays, even when I was healthy. As time passed by, I felt pains on my head. But, I did my best enduring pains to prepare the seaweed soup for my wife.
Finally, the day came. I woke up early in the morning. I soaked the seeweed in water, chopped the beef finely and sought the oil for cook. But, I couldn’t find the soy bean to control the saltiness of soup. Without soy bean, I alternatively used salt for the soup. Since I lost my taste about food, I could not know salt from other flavors.
My family woke up in the morning. They burst into tears when they found my seaweed soup. Most amazingly, wife cried out aloud when she tasted the soup. All my sons also cried out together. Even my mother began crying. I asked them how the soup was. They answered that it was the most delicious soup they had ever tried. They finished the soup to the last drop. I was so glad to find they liked my soup.
Whey they were out and I cleaned the kitchen, I saw a bottle containing the salt. Then, I got to know that the content of bottle was not salt but sugar. I was really sorry to my family. Also, I was so happy for their patience in my wrong recipe soup. They must have felt that something was wrong. But, no one complained.
I am a very lucky guy to have this wonderful family, even to the very end of my life.
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