자유 다운 자유는
고전 (古典) 일뿐인가
영어 이야기
untether
[ʌ̀ntéðər]
(동물등을) 밧줄에서 풀어주다
가장 자유를 누리고 살 조건을 갖추고 살고 있는 현대인들 (특히 청소년)은
보이지 않는 감옥 (만리장성 같은) 자신들을 가두며 살고 있다.
Modern people (especially teenagers) who live in the most free and livable conditions
live in an invisible jail like the Great Wall.
옛날 가난하게 살았던 어린이들은
산과 들을 그들의 놀이터로 삼고
때로는 그들이 마치 탐험가나 된 듯
좀 으시시한 동굴 탐험 (?)도 하며 자유롭게 살았었다
나 같은 노인 (NO人)도 새로운 곳을 여행하면
호텔 등에서 내 laptop computer 에 wifi 연결을 시키는 작업을 먼저 한다
그러니 청소년들은 어떨지 짐작이 되고도 남는다.
.Kids can't live where no built-in Wi-Fi for UNTETHERED surfing of the Net at high speeds,
아이들은 빠른 속도의 인터넷의 무한한 재료 찾기를 위한
wifi 가 작동되지 않는 곳에서는 살 수 없다.
untether 는 tether (가축 등을 매어 도망가지 못하게 한다) 앞에
'아니라'고 하는 접두어 un 을 붙여서 만든 낱말이다.
동물들을 풀어준다 또는 자유롭게 한다는 뜻이다.
tether 의 뿌리는 네덜란드어 (Dutch) 인 tuie (line or rope) 가
그 뿌리라고 해석하는 어원학자들이 많다.
정치판에 참신한 정신으로 뛰어든 신인 정치인들을
모아놓고 orientation 을 했는데 그때 노련한 (?) 선배가 이런 말을 했다
You will gradually become UNTETHERED from the truth by lying to citizens.
여러분들은 국민들에게 거짓말을 하면서
점차적으로 진리와 거리가 멀게 될 것입니다
그리고 이런 말도 했다
Eternal rivals are face to face like an UNTETHERED donkeys.
영원한 경쟁자들은 고삐 풀린 망아지처럼 대면한다
but with a bitter smile.
그러나 (화가난 얼굴이 아닌) 쓴 웃음을 지으면서
너무나 조급한 현대인들에게 권하는 말이 있다
UNTETHER your identity from success or failure with deliberate practice.
신중한 태도를 가지고 성공하든 실패하든당신의 정체성에서 벗어나라(Psycology Tioday, May 25, 2023)
성공했다고 자타가 공인하는 사업가의 자서전에이런 글이 실려있다.
I would have been UNTETHERED free—like kids in their own hidden place.
나는 (옛날에) 자신들만 하는 비밀스러운 장소를 가졌던어린이들 처럼 얽매이지 않는 자유를 누리고 싶었다(would have pp 문장은 과거에 그렇게 못했음을 표현함)
Not many people can be UNTETHERED to the public sight많지 않은 사람들이 대중의 시선에 자유로울 수 있다(결국 현대인들은 자유 없는 노예인가)
에 제일 큰 거짓말은:'나는 거짓말 할줄 모른다,'고 말하는 것이다
RESILIENCE
How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Flourish
She was raw and untethered from her life.
You would gradually become untethered from the truth, with officials lying to citizens.
. For a moment, I would like to be UNTETHERED free—like kids in their own hidden place.
I tried to be untethered to the public sight
.Kids can't live where no built-in Wi-Fi for untethered surfing of the Net at high speeds,
As for a new device
Our customers want to be untethered to a new device.
Eternal rivals were face to face with a bitter smile like an untethered donkeys.
Untethered, they freak, gain weight, join cults.
Posted May 25, 2023
Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
KEY POINTS
Overcoming self-doubt begins with challenging our assumptions.
Experiencing more joy helps one summon optimism and resilience through difficult times.
Acting with kindness and gratitude shifts our perspective, creating a virtuous cycle.
Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash
Source: Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash
Everyone feels plagued with self-doubt from time to time.
Am I good enough?
Do I belong on this team?
Is my work acceptable?
Am I worthy of this dating partner?
Self-doubt is a natural part of new experiences.
Will I be able to learn to rock climb? Will my new boss like me and/or my work?
Can I make friends in this new community? When faced with uncertainty, it is natural to doubt our ability to withstand scrutiny, stress, and increased demands.
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Creative people face self-doubt frequently.
When you create something new, the process carries an inherent insecurity.
There is no guarantee that this new thing will be good, useful, or acceptable to anyone.
It takes courage to try something new, start a business, move to a new place, or attempt to make something original.
Often, we need support to carry us through the doubt so we can keep moving toward our goals and dreams.
Imposter Syndrome
tether (n.)
late 14c., "rope for fastening an animal," not found in Old English, probably from a Scandinavian source akin to Old Norse tjoðr "tether," from Proto-Germanic *teudran (source also of Danish tøir, Old Swedish tiuther, Swedish tjuder, Old Frisian tiader, Middle Dutch tuder, Dutch tuier "line, rope," Old High German zeotar "pole of a cart"), from PIE root *deu- "to fasten" + instrumentive suffix *-tro-. Figurative sense of "measure of one's limitations" is attested from 1570s.
also from late 14c.
tether (v.)
late 14c. (implied in tethering), "confine by a tether," originally of grazing animals, from tether (n.). Figurative use also from late 14c. Related: Tethered.
also from late 14c.
A client, I’ll call Dee, turned her small gift boutique into a vast international business with a combination of brick-and-mortar and online stores.
Over the previous 10 years, she held a vision of where and how her business could grow.
She made a plan, worked her plan, and saw the fulfillment of that plan. Unfortunately, Dee didn’t see it that way.
When I complimented Dee on her business acumen, her brow furrowed, and her mood plummeted. “I can’t sleep. I keep thinking at any time someone will point out what a fraud I am,” Dee said. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t have an MBA. I just had the right timing. It’s pure luck that my idea took off. I keep waiting for my luck to end,” Dee worried.
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Imposter syndrome, also called the imposter phenomenon or impostorism, was first coined by U.S. psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978 (Huecker MR et al., 2023). Those who suffer from impostorism often see-saw between perfectionism and procrastination. They overprepare for every contingency. They feel an intense fear of making mistakes or being exposed as a charlatan. This fear inspires them to work harder and longer than anyone else. When they do achieve success, they deny and minimize it.
Dee believed her success was a fluke and she could be exposed as a fraud at any time. She found it challenging to give herself credit for a job well done. She often felt anxious about her success while anticipating an embarrassing fall from grace. Doubts and indecision tormented her. I offered Dee three ways to shake off the self-doubt and feel happier. The first required Dee to rethink her assumptions about success and failure.
THE BASICS
What Is Resilience?
Find counselling near me
Beyond Self-Doubt
Your thoughts about success and failure are not unassailable truths. One tends to assume that success is good and failure is bad. Yet failure is necessary for success. Both success and failure can appear in bittersweet combinations of mixed emotions and events. You make a big sale the same day you learn your good friend was diagnosed with cancer. You get laid off at work the same day your child wins a prestigious award. Author Susan Cain writes, “We’re built to live simultaneously in love and loss, bitter and sweet.” And, I would add, success and failure. It helps to accept the struggle as normal and universally human (Cain, S. 2022).
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To overcome crippling self-doubt, begin by loosening the attachment to your beliefs about success and failure. Instead of considering success and failure as measurements of your worth, look at success and failure as descriptions of a moment in time. For example, after a big win, instead of saying to yourself: “I’m now officially a winner!” Say, "This is a moment to savor.” Money or success does not define you. You are greater than the sum of your achievements or failures.
Could you do the same for failure? Instead of saying to yourself: “I’m such an idiot. Of course that new product wasn’t going to sell. I’m such a loser.” Instead, say, “It’s good to know what products sell big and which fail to move.”
Failure is just good information. It can help you make a better decision in the next moment. Then there will be another moment, and so on. You observe the moment in time, but that moment is not your identity. We can count on the certainty of change. So we must loosen the belief that our identity is tied to any momentary measure. Our personality, talents, emotions, intellect, and relationships encompass much more.
RESILIENCE ESSENTIAL READS
How to Improve Your Mental Health: Focus on What You Control
Why Do You Think You've Failed?
The second way to overcome self-doubt requires connecting to experiences of joy. It’s not enough to merely think differently; we must also invite new experiences, especially joy-filled moments, that expand our optimism.
Tackle Your Joy Deficit
Most people with impostorism experience a joy deficit. Without joy, we hurtle headlong into depression and anxiety. Dee badly needed a break from business to give attention to neglected areas of life like her relationships, fun, hobbies, and health. She had not taken a real vacation from her work for years.
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I asked her about the last time she experienced real joy. “Years ago, when my husband and I were in college. We played soccer together and dreamed about the future. We laughed a lot,” she said. “When was the last time you and your husband played soccer together?” I asked.
“It’s been years,” she replied.
“Is that something you would like to do again?” I asked.
“I think it would be great to do that. But maybe, get away from the house and the business for a while. Go somewhere else so I don’t feel sucked back into work,” she said.
Dee devised a plan to bring more joy and laughter into her daily life. She made a date with her husband to visit a comedy club and planned her first real vacation in years. As Dee discussed her plans, her face softened into a delighted smile. Her mood shifted immediately.
“Notice how you seem to feel lighter and happier just talking about planning something fun,” I said.
“You’re right. I feel like maybe I can do this. I can enjoy myself,” she said.
The third way to overcome self-doubt is to change our behavior. Acts of kindness and gratitude fuel our relationships with vitality and optimism. They create a virtuous cycle of uplifting momentum.
Strengthen Gratitude
Dee learned how to tackle her impostorism by strengthening her gratitude. She lived in constant fear of something going wrong, of humiliation. It impeded her ability for clear self-reflection. I suggested that she cultivate a gratitude practice.
Numerous studies show the many healing benefits of gratitude. It enhances well-being, encourages self-improvement, strengthens social connectedness, and increases humility (Armenta, CN, et al. 2017). I recommended a couple of gratitude interventions for Dee (Seligman, MEP et al. 2005). First, I suggested Dee write down three things she feels grateful for daily and what caused that good thing to happen. For example, one day, Dee wrote:
“I’m grateful for my health. My good health stems from a combination of healthy genes I inherited and my habit of eating a healthy diet and trying to get enough exercise,” she wrote.
In addition to her daily gratitude journal, I recommended that Dee write one letter a week to someone she appreciated. In that letter, she should write a detailed description of what she enjoys about that person. I encouraged her to send a letter to a new person each week.
Soon Dee reported: “It was tough to focus on gratitude. Figuring out what caused the thing I feel grateful for felt difficult. But after a few days, it became easier. The hardest thing was making myself send out the letters. It felt so embarrassing. But now I see the value in it. It helps me see more that my business isn’t about me. It’s about this community we built together. I’ve written letters to six people working for me, and the response has been amazing and unexpected. They started thanking me!” She said.
If you feel plagued by feelings of unworthiness or self-doubt, try these three things:
Untether your identity from success or failure.
Make joy, fun, and play a priority.
Practice gratitude.
Remember, you are more than your thoughts, feelings, failures, and successes. Every experience is an opportunity to learn and grow. You can take time to enjoy each ride around the sun.