Hello my Kyunnie. . .
It's been a rough week. I'm processing something that happened at work tonight. A customer said some not nice things to me tonight. We were closing. There was a very small issue with his order. He decided he wanted a refund. I was like, ok I won't argue with you. And he got an attitude. And he started cussing and raising his voice at me. I had to walk away at one point in time because he wasn't letting me talk at all. Finally I got the refund processed. But then he started with the things. Like that I smell because of my size. And that I need to go to the gym. And things of that nature. I have gotten comfortable with myself. And a year ago those words would have hurt way more than they do right now. And I'm not going to lie and say they don't. And after the employees left I cried. And then I had a thought. I'm not skinny. I highly doubt I ever will be. I will always have a big lower stomach, even if I lose more weight it will be more of just loose skin. I can't hide that. But the thought was that I don't want my person to ever be ashamed of me. That guy isn't the only one that thinks like that. And I know their opinions don't matter. And I've grown enough that I see it all for what it is. And I'm proud of myself for handling it as well as I am. But I'm also giving myself the space to feel these emotions and let them just be as I go through this. I'm not going to stay in them, but I have acknowledged them.
And a few days ago I stubbed my pinky toe. It's bruised, part of my foot is bruised. Walking at work for more than an hour or so is painful. I should probably get it looked at but I would need to go to the emergency room. Even with my insurance that would be crazy expensive. Urgent care is a possibility if I can find one close enough, that is open when I need it to be, that accepts my insurance. Have I ever said that the medical field here is a joke?
So for now I'll just keep icing it, taking medicine, and I'm going to try wrapping it too.
I need to go for now. I'm drained from that encounter with the customer.
I was glad to hear you were able to eat with your dad. I hope he and your mom are well. Tell them Monbebe said hi. lol.
Until another time my beautiful Kyunnie
I love you